As I was painting my fingernails bright red on Tuesday thoughts came to my mind like, "Why is there so much hatred, fear, envy and other negativity towards sexuality and differences in people?"; "Why are some people singled out for persecution?"
". . . the whole point of Klan-style terrorism was to make examples of "troublemakers" so that everyone else would stay in line," writes Eugene Robinson in his book Disintegration The Splintering of Black America.
Conflict is inevitable. Using terrorism to try to transform others is not inevitable. During Jesus Christ's earthly ministry He and many of the religious, governmental and other leaders clashed. Jesus didn't teach His disciples to try to limit His adversaries to certain books, certain places or certain relationships. Jesus Christ didn't teach people to monitor the every movement of adversaries or try to force them in other ways to convert to Christ.
Instead Jesus taught people things like receiving a relationship with God, cooperating with God to allow inner transformation that will show up on the outside and living life lead by the Spirit of God and not by fear or coercision.
Fear and coercision are terrorist tactics that lead to the tyranny of Satan; being enslaved to sinful behaviors. 2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."
Sometimes even some Christians become deceived and disobedient to the Word of God and try to change people through terrorist tactics and end up supporting tryannts. Not all Christians and other people in the American colonies were for the independence of America. Instead some supported Britain.
Yet the founding principles of an America independent of Britain were based on the Bible not terrorism. Our American Declaration of Independence says, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness . . ."
Jesus Christ gave His adversaries the freedom to believe and to live wrong all the while extending to all people the offer of righteousness.
Means matter. Means are part of the message.
Sometimes terrorists will say they are for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but they will also stalk people, monitor their telephones, Internet and other communication devices, steal, harrass and harm people who hold beliefs different from theirs.
Jesus loves people even while they are His enemies (sinners). Romans 5:8-9 Amplified Bible says, "But God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Therefore, since we are now justified (acquitted, made righteous, and brought into right relationship with God) by Christ's blood, how much more [certain is it that] we shall be saved by Him from the indignation and wrath of God."
No one need die for sin anymore. Jesus' one-time death and ressurrection paid for sin. Now it's time for those who receive God to love large. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
Love is not weak, but a wonderful way for conflict to be resolved with all parties in the conflict winning. Through love no one is trying to defeat another through scarring others out of their minds or some other destructive tactic. Love and terrorism are antithetical. Dr. Gary Smalley writes in his book The DNA of Relationships Discover How You Are Designed for Satisfying Relationships, "Remember, you're part of a team. Therefore you have to redefine winning as finding and implementing a solution that both people can feel good about." Dr. Smalley says win-win solutions can be applied to all kinds of relationships. He writes, "The spirit of the no-losers policy also applies in the workplace. If I know that my boss feels very concerned about making decisions that work for me, I can relax and give my best to my job. I feel good about being his or her employee. Of course, at times an employer has to make difficult and unpopular decisions for the health of the company. But even then, the spirit of the no-losers policy can come into play. People committed to win-win will find a way to walk through even a layoff or termination so that people feel valued, honored, and convinced that the employer did everything possible to make the situation work."
Win-win solutions work best for those who have rejected terrorism, embraced the love of God and made sacrifices to share God's love on the inside with themselves and other people. The book The Wisdom of the Native Americans records Chief Dan George saying, "My friends, how desperately do we need to be loved and to love. When Christ said that man does not live by bread alone, he spoke of a hunger. This hunger was not the hunger of the body. It was not the hunger for bread. He spoke of a hunger that begins deep down in the very depths of our being. He spoke of a need as vital as breath. He spoke of our hunger for love. Love is something you and I must have. We must have it because our spirit feeds upon it. We must have it because without it we become weak and faint. Without love our self-esteem weakens. Without it our courage fails. Without love we can no longer look out confidently at the world. We turn inward and begin to feed upon our own personalities, and little by little we destroy ourselves. With it we are creative. With it we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifce for others."
Please share personal stories of love transforming terrorism.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wisdom Keeps on Giving Good
"Real giving occurs when I give somebody something that I want to keep," says Joyce Meyer in her book Love Out Loud 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others. I really wanted to keep my book Crazy Good Sex Putting to Bed the Myths Men Have About Sex by Christian author Dr. Les Parrott, but I donated it to a local Prince William County, Virginia, library.
Please share an on-line comment about the books, audio-books, CDs, DVDs and other media you have recently donated to a library. Please also comment about other gifts that keep on giving to others. I welcome financial gifts to my ministry. Checks and money orders should be made payable to "Michele Jackson," and mailed to P.O. Box 2106, Woodbridge, Virgina, 22195.
Learning is a lifetime pursuit that at its best connects to wisdom. Proverbs 8:35-36 Amplified Bible says, "For whoever finds me [Wisdom] finds life and draws forth and obtains favor from the Lord. But he who misses me or sins against me wrongs and injures himself; all who hate me love and court death."
During Jesus Christ's earthly ministry, the majority of the Pharisees were well educated, but wronged and injured themselves and others by creating rules that lacked the Spirit of God. God is the source of goodness. Following many of the Pharisees' rules meant participating in evil. Martin Luther King Jr. says in his speech "The Better Way" on the CD The Wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr. quoting Gandhi and Thoreau, "Non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as cooperation with good."
Bartolome de Las Casas was a Dominican friar and bishop who practiced non-cooperation with evil. He spoke about the humanity of Native Americans during colonial-era Spanish rule when Native Americans were thought to be and treated as a lesser race.
Please share an on-line comment about current evils in relationships, sexuality and life that need to be exposed.
Please share an on-line comment about the books, audio-books, CDs, DVDs and other media you have recently donated to a library. Please also comment about other gifts that keep on giving to others. I welcome financial gifts to my ministry. Checks and money orders should be made payable to "Michele Jackson," and mailed to P.O. Box 2106, Woodbridge, Virgina, 22195.
Learning is a lifetime pursuit that at its best connects to wisdom. Proverbs 8:35-36 Amplified Bible says, "For whoever finds me [Wisdom] finds life and draws forth and obtains favor from the Lord. But he who misses me or sins against me wrongs and injures himself; all who hate me love and court death."
During Jesus Christ's earthly ministry, the majority of the Pharisees were well educated, but wronged and injured themselves and others by creating rules that lacked the Spirit of God. God is the source of goodness. Following many of the Pharisees' rules meant participating in evil. Martin Luther King Jr. says in his speech "The Better Way" on the CD The Wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr. quoting Gandhi and Thoreau, "Non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as cooperation with good."
Bartolome de Las Casas was a Dominican friar and bishop who practiced non-cooperation with evil. He spoke about the humanity of Native Americans during colonial-era Spanish rule when Native Americans were thought to be and treated as a lesser race.
Please share an on-line comment about current evils in relationships, sexuality and life that need to be exposed.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Food, Love and Marriage
Last Thursday Rafael and I enjoyed walking and listening to live jazz music being played by a military band in a shopping mall. Thus inspired I recalled eating at an African-American restaurant in Washington, D.C., on July 4th, and I tried to count the number of African-American restaurants in Prince William County, Virginia, where Rafael and I live, that have waiters and waitresses, outstanding food and remarkable decor. I couldn't recall and count even one such restaurant.
I know where to buy our favorite fajitas with fine decor and wait staff but no jambalaya with other outstanding African-American food and remarkable decor. If you have eaten out and enjoyed fine African-American food in Prince William County, Virginia, please leave an on-line comment sharing the experience.
Many lovers enjoy sharing delicious food. I pray that Rafael, my son who has autism, enjoys dating and eventually marrying a Christian woman who shares his delight in eating out, personal relationships and beautiful, balanced, Biblical sexuality and sex among other good, enjoyable, beautiful things. Rafael savors saturating his fingers with food. He likes to feel it, smell it and taste it. Food and fingers fascinate him. He revels in having his finger tips kissed and kissing the hands of some people.
God created both single and married people with a desire for marital sex and other relationships. The first man had a relationship with God and the animals, but this was not enough. Genesis 2:18 New Living Translation Bible says about God creating the first woman for the first man, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”"
Mohandas Gandhi said, "To say that some men are untouchables is a heinous sin." Yet some would like to treat persons with autism and other different minds like untouchables denying them access to restaurants, marriage and the best possible life.
God wants the best possible life for everyone. God created us and preserves our life from fertilization through birth, youth, old age and beyond death for people who are African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different minds and abilities and with multiple mixtures of these characteristics. God created us to have a good relationship with Him and to be in relationships with people who are just right for us.
Good relationships are compatible with good business. An untapped, massive market exists in welcoming persons with autism and other different minds into restaurants, marriage and other good, enjoyable, beautiful things. Please share an on-line comment about your best eating-out experiences and moments in marriage.
I know where to buy our favorite fajitas with fine decor and wait staff but no jambalaya with other outstanding African-American food and remarkable decor. If you have eaten out and enjoyed fine African-American food in Prince William County, Virginia, please leave an on-line comment sharing the experience.
Many lovers enjoy sharing delicious food. I pray that Rafael, my son who has autism, enjoys dating and eventually marrying a Christian woman who shares his delight in eating out, personal relationships and beautiful, balanced, Biblical sexuality and sex among other good, enjoyable, beautiful things. Rafael savors saturating his fingers with food. He likes to feel it, smell it and taste it. Food and fingers fascinate him. He revels in having his finger tips kissed and kissing the hands of some people.
God created both single and married people with a desire for marital sex and other relationships. The first man had a relationship with God and the animals, but this was not enough. Genesis 2:18 New Living Translation Bible says about God creating the first woman for the first man, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”"
Mohandas Gandhi said, "To say that some men are untouchables is a heinous sin." Yet some would like to treat persons with autism and other different minds like untouchables denying them access to restaurants, marriage and the best possible life.
God wants the best possible life for everyone. God created us and preserves our life from fertilization through birth, youth, old age and beyond death for people who are African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different minds and abilities and with multiple mixtures of these characteristics. God created us to have a good relationship with Him and to be in relationships with people who are just right for us.
Good relationships are compatible with good business. An untapped, massive market exists in welcoming persons with autism and other different minds into restaurants, marriage and other good, enjoyable, beautiful things. Please share an on-line comment about your best eating-out experiences and moments in marriage.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
A Good, Enjoyable, Beautiful Life
Autism and other different minds are not fully understood. Experience provides some learning and sharing. Yet different minds are not integrated into our society.
Saturday Rafael and I ate fish tacos and drank sweet, mint, green tea in a restaurant. I didn't see anyone who has autism like Rafael does. I rarely see people with autism in restaurants.
Rafael and I enjoy eating out. Eating out can be part of a good, enjoyable, beautiful life. Jesus Christ is for joy. Satan is for sadness. John 10:10 Amplified Bible says, "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."
On Tuesday it was confirmed for me that at times powerful people prey on the perceived weak. Why not instead pursue every positive way possible to give different minds a good, enjoyable, beautiful life?
"Jesus answered, Is it not written in your Law, I said, You are gods?" (John 10:34 Amplified Bible). Believers are gods. Gods have power to seek and seize good.
Good includes an enjoyable, beautiful life from fertilization through birth, youth, old age and beyond death for people who are African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different minds and abilities. John C. Maxwell writes in his book How Successful People Think Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life, "Good thinkers, especially those who are also good leaders, understand the power of shared thinking. They know that when they value the thoughts and ideas of others, they receive the compounding results of shared thinking and accomplish more than they ever could on their own." Please leave an on-line comment sharing your thinking about liking this article and/or ways to fully integrate different minds into society.
Saturday Rafael and I ate fish tacos and drank sweet, mint, green tea in a restaurant. I didn't see anyone who has autism like Rafael does. I rarely see people with autism in restaurants.
Rafael and I enjoy eating out. Eating out can be part of a good, enjoyable, beautiful life. Jesus Christ is for joy. Satan is for sadness. John 10:10 Amplified Bible says, "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."
On Tuesday it was confirmed for me that at times powerful people prey on the perceived weak. Why not instead pursue every positive way possible to give different minds a good, enjoyable, beautiful life?
"Jesus answered, Is it not written in your Law, I said, You are gods?" (John 10:34 Amplified Bible). Believers are gods. Gods have power to seek and seize good.
Good includes an enjoyable, beautiful life from fertilization through birth, youth, old age and beyond death for people who are African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different minds and abilities. John C. Maxwell writes in his book How Successful People Think Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life, "Good thinkers, especially those who are also good leaders, understand the power of shared thinking. They know that when they value the thoughts and ideas of others, they receive the compounding results of shared thinking and accomplish more than they ever could on their own." Please leave an on-line comment sharing your thinking about liking this article and/or ways to fully integrate different minds into society.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Know Your Place
Some full-time parents say, "I don't work." What a negative confession!
Nonprofit work is just as valuable as work for profit. Imagine if Mohandas Gandhi said, "I don't work," because he was an activist of love and non-violence in the quest for India's independence from Britain and to remain a united country.
If one person is ashamed and out of order, it affects others negatively. If Gandhi became ashamed and out of order and decided to leave activism to join a British, corporate law firm, then perhaps while he was making himself rich the quest for India's independence might not have been victorious on 8/15/1947, more partition might have occurred and because India was smaller she might not be the world's largest democracy today.
Before God created the earth, God planned for Gandhi to do what he did. Gandhi, the unashamed activist, inspired other activists like Martin Luther King Jr. If Gandhi didn't show that love and nonviolence could be effective against evil, then perhaps King wouldn't have used it, and African Americans today would still be mostly the poorest of the poor having to go to Colored Only places.
Confusion of purpose is from Satan. People sometimes become confused because of the love of money. 1 Timothy 6:10 Amplified Bible says, "For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many acute [mental] pangs."
Money is not evil. The love of money is evil. Money is a tool for ministry and other things. God gave some passion and purpose to make money, so that they have the means to do good by giving away much for the betterment of people and keeping more than enough for an enjoyable, excellent life for self and family. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Your office hours aren't 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.? If you are in the place God planned for you, celebrate. God designed the body of believers to be diverse. While we have the same head, Jesus Christ, everyone is not the same. It pleases God to make people African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different abilities. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part."
Take pleasure in your place. Cooperate with God to stop those who try to knock you out of it.
Nonprofit work is just as valuable as work for profit. Imagine if Mohandas Gandhi said, "I don't work," because he was an activist of love and non-violence in the quest for India's independence from Britain and to remain a united country.
If one person is ashamed and out of order, it affects others negatively. If Gandhi became ashamed and out of order and decided to leave activism to join a British, corporate law firm, then perhaps while he was making himself rich the quest for India's independence might not have been victorious on 8/15/1947, more partition might have occurred and because India was smaller she might not be the world's largest democracy today.
Before God created the earth, God planned for Gandhi to do what he did. Gandhi, the unashamed activist, inspired other activists like Martin Luther King Jr. If Gandhi didn't show that love and nonviolence could be effective against evil, then perhaps King wouldn't have used it, and African Americans today would still be mostly the poorest of the poor having to go to Colored Only places.
Confusion of purpose is from Satan. People sometimes become confused because of the love of money. 1 Timothy 6:10 Amplified Bible says, "For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many acute [mental] pangs."
Money is not evil. The love of money is evil. Money is a tool for ministry and other things. God gave some passion and purpose to make money, so that they have the means to do good by giving away much for the betterment of people and keeping more than enough for an enjoyable, excellent life for self and family. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Your office hours aren't 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.? If you are in the place God planned for you, celebrate. God designed the body of believers to be diverse. While we have the same head, Jesus Christ, everyone is not the same. It pleases God to make people African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different abilities. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part."
Take pleasure in your place. Cooperate with God to stop those who try to knock you out of it.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Writing Kindness, Goodness and Gentleness on Souls
Rafael, my son, and I entered an Hispanic restaurant on Monday designed like we were walking into the ocean. Blue "water" engulfed our senses. Chandeliers of bubbles cascaded from the ceiling.
Bubbles are beautiful, and they burst easily. God created our feelings. Our feelings are sometimes as fragile as bubbles. Kindness helps to protect them and bring out their beauty. Kindness complements feelings. Kindness is not a feeling, but a behavior that God living on the inside of His believers gives us the choice and ability to do. Galatians 5:22-23 Amplified Bible says, "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."
Kindness may require us to go out of our way to show someone we really care about them after we did something contradictory to kindness. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child. Cindy Beall writes in her book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken Finding Forgiveness and Restoration, "From the moment of Chris' confession, his goal has been to restore my trust in him. Even when I doubt and question him, he does not get defensive or have a "get over it" attitude. He knows his actions caused me indescribable pain, and he accepts the responsibility as his own. He will do anything to help me feel secure in our marriage. He has laid down his life for me."
Kindness seeks to understand people and how we are influencing each other. A lot of arguments and conflicts among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about. Read my article "Tie Me Up?"
Water fills the ocean. God desires to fill our life. When God fills our life, our life is full of goodness. Goodness used to be a euphemism for God. Dr. Albert Schweizer, a Christian missionary, who left Switzerland to go to the Congo in Africa and take care of lepers, inspired African American Patricia Bath. Bath became a doctor herself and earned fours patents. Bath also pioneered the worldwide discipline of "community ophthalmology," a volunteer-based program to bring eye care to underserved populations. With three other doctor friends Bath founded the American Institute for the Prevention of Blindness (AIPB) to help blind people in third-world countries have access to eye care.
Goodness does not view and treat people as problems. Goodness steadfastly seeks to overcome obstacles hindering people from living the best possible life. Romans 12:21 Amplified Bible says, "Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good."
You may not be called to be a doctor, a missionary or to start a nonprofit group, but you are called to bring goodness to family, friends and all your relationships. Read my article "7 Ingredients for Intimate Relationships."
Goodness and gentleness swim together in the same ocean. Gentleness embraces people instead of acting on attitudes like, "I don't like you. You don't measure up to my expectations of how someone should behave, so I'm going to try to harm you." On Tuesday of this week a restaurant manager, not at the ocean-decorated restaurant, told me that Rafael was disturbing his patrons. Rafael, a 19-year-old man, went to the restroom on his own and came back to sit at our table three times because somebody was probably using the one-toilet-only male bathroom. I asked the manager was Rafael harming anyone. The manager said no, but his presence was disturbing paying patrons because he would pace some instead of stand still waiting while the other person was in the bathroom. I explained that Rafael has autism. The manager said he could see that he had a disability. Since the manager could also see that I was refusing to give him an inappropriate apology, he paid for our meal.
Conflict is inevitable. Swimming with gentleness is a witness to everyone of God/goodness living on the inside. Robert Mark Alter, a psychotherapist, writes in his book, Good Husband, Great Marriage Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married A Relationship Revolution, "One couple I was seeing told me that every time they started to bicker or argue, their seven-year-old son, Sam, would start to sing very loudly and beat the sides of his head with his fists, and their four-year-old, Krissy, would say, "Please no fight...please no fight...please no fight..." with tears running down her cheeks. When you have children, every way you are is being watched, everything you do gets seen, every word you speak gets heard, everything that happens in your family gets written in their soul."
Please leave an on-line comment sharing how you are writing kindness, goodness and gentleness on souls, or to say, "I like this article." Please also contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to join my relationship group.
Bubbles are beautiful, and they burst easily. God created our feelings. Our feelings are sometimes as fragile as bubbles. Kindness helps to protect them and bring out their beauty. Kindness complements feelings. Kindness is not a feeling, but a behavior that God living on the inside of His believers gives us the choice and ability to do. Galatians 5:22-23 Amplified Bible says, "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."
Kindness may require us to go out of our way to show someone we really care about them after we did something contradictory to kindness. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child. Cindy Beall writes in her book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken Finding Forgiveness and Restoration, "From the moment of Chris' confession, his goal has been to restore my trust in him. Even when I doubt and question him, he does not get defensive or have a "get over it" attitude. He knows his actions caused me indescribable pain, and he accepts the responsibility as his own. He will do anything to help me feel secure in our marriage. He has laid down his life for me."
Kindness seeks to understand people and how we are influencing each other. A lot of arguments and conflicts among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about. Read my article "Tie Me Up?"
Water fills the ocean. God desires to fill our life. When God fills our life, our life is full of goodness. Goodness used to be a euphemism for God. Dr. Albert Schweizer, a Christian missionary, who left Switzerland to go to the Congo in Africa and take care of lepers, inspired African American Patricia Bath. Bath became a doctor herself and earned fours patents. Bath also pioneered the worldwide discipline of "community ophthalmology," a volunteer-based program to bring eye care to underserved populations. With three other doctor friends Bath founded the American Institute for the Prevention of Blindness (AIPB) to help blind people in third-world countries have access to eye care.
Goodness does not view and treat people as problems. Goodness steadfastly seeks to overcome obstacles hindering people from living the best possible life. Romans 12:21 Amplified Bible says, "Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good."
You may not be called to be a doctor, a missionary or to start a nonprofit group, but you are called to bring goodness to family, friends and all your relationships. Read my article "7 Ingredients for Intimate Relationships."
Goodness and gentleness swim together in the same ocean. Gentleness embraces people instead of acting on attitudes like, "I don't like you. You don't measure up to my expectations of how someone should behave, so I'm going to try to harm you." On Tuesday of this week a restaurant manager, not at the ocean-decorated restaurant, told me that Rafael was disturbing his patrons. Rafael, a 19-year-old man, went to the restroom on his own and came back to sit at our table three times because somebody was probably using the one-toilet-only male bathroom. I asked the manager was Rafael harming anyone. The manager said no, but his presence was disturbing paying patrons because he would pace some instead of stand still waiting while the other person was in the bathroom. I explained that Rafael has autism. The manager said he could see that he had a disability. Since the manager could also see that I was refusing to give him an inappropriate apology, he paid for our meal.
Conflict is inevitable. Swimming with gentleness is a witness to everyone of God/goodness living on the inside. Robert Mark Alter, a psychotherapist, writes in his book, Good Husband, Great Marriage Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married A Relationship Revolution, "One couple I was seeing told me that every time they started to bicker or argue, their seven-year-old son, Sam, would start to sing very loudly and beat the sides of his head with his fists, and their four-year-old, Krissy, would say, "Please no fight...please no fight...please no fight..." with tears running down her cheeks. When you have children, every way you are is being watched, everything you do gets seen, every word you speak gets heard, everything that happens in your family gets written in their soul."
Please leave an on-line comment sharing how you are writing kindness, goodness and gentleness on souls, or to say, "I like this article." Please also contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to join my relationship group.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Connecting Relationships and Faith
Rafael, my son, and I last week enjoyed viewing endless white, yellow sunlight baby blue sky laced with clouds in an Indian restaurant sitting next to a floor-reaching-to-the-ceiling window. Rafael was happy to allow me to sample his lamb kebab while I enjoyed my Bombay salmon. Then he discovered the magnificence of the lamb kebab for himself along with cardamon tea with milk which he had a second serving of to accompany his rice pudding dessert. As we ate God the Holy Ghost was inspiring me through the book of Galatians about connecting relationships and faith.
Principles for Biblical living are nourished in a relationship with God who empowers us to share Him and His ways with others. Following the rules without a growing relationship with God is a recipe for disappointment and even disaster. Galatians 3:2-4, 11-12 the Message Bible says, "Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up! . . . . The obvious impossibility of carrying out such a moral program should make it plain that no one can sustain a relationship with God that way. The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping] continues to live by them."
God in us comes out in faith that is connected to good relationships. This faith has at least four characteristics.
1. Faith Motivated and Energized by Love.
Everyone has faith. Our beliefs show up in our behavior. For faith consistently motivated by love, we must get it from God. African American Gospel singer William McDowell sings in his song, "I Give Myself Away," "Take my heart, take my life as a living sacrifice. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord, I place them in your hands. I give myself away . . . so you can use me."
Galatians 5:6 Amplified Bible talks about what God does through us when we receive Him that connects our faith and relationships, "For [if we are] in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith activated and energized and expressed and working through love."
2. Be an asset.
Properly connecting faith to relationships means we cooperate with God to avoid becoming consumed with our nuclear family to the exclusion of others.
Indira Gandhi became prime minister of India in 1966 after the death of her father, Jawaharlal Nehru. She began a mandatory program to sterilize the intellectually disabled and large populations of villagers resulting in more than seven million vasectomies. Many people in multiple countries are afraid of the fertility of the intellectually disabled and the poor because they want to limit being an asset to certain people.
Most people desire to live the best possible life connected to people in positive relationships. Malini Chib has cerebral palsy, is an author and is chairperson of Able Disable All People Together (ADAPT) whose headquarters are in Mumbai, India. Chib told Femina magazine regarding sex and the disabled, "We are treated as asexuals. I have had instances when I was told to hush up, as if it's an aberration to open up on the topic (of sex). We want society to be aware that we do have our yearnings."
God created us all with sexuality. Genesis 1:27 New Living Translation Bible says, "So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
Marriage is one way our sexuality is expressed. Sexual love doesn't have to end when we reach a certain age. Jack, a character in the romantic comedy Don Juan DeMarco, says to Marilyn, his wife of more than 30 years, "You have very, very beautiful eyes." Marilyn comments, "Come on. You know I have to go upstairs, and um I'm going to take my calcium so my bones don't break into little pieces, my aspirin so my heart doesn't clog up, my Metamucil so I don't get colon cancer, and of course my estrogen to convince my body that I'm still 23." Jack responds, "Come here." They kiss, and marital, senior sex ensues.
3. Individuality.
God designed a unique life, faith and relationships for all of us that requires examination. Self-examination is not to nurture self-pity, superiority, guilt, envy or other negativity, but for improvement in our relationships with God, self and others. Galatians 6:4 Amplified Bible says, "But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor."
Some will question our life, faith and relationships, and try to make us fit their ideas for us. "You're a 40-year-old virgin. What's wrong with you?" "You've been divorced three times. What's wrong with you?" You have never been married and have five children by different partners. What's wrong with you?" You're a married couple. Why aren't you like the married couple with both spouses working full-time, co-parenting four children and participating in a home study to adopt a fifth? What's wrong with you?" Answer, "I'm incredible and improving. I don't have to be you or who you want me to be. My sins and my successes are in God's hands. I'm cooperating with God to be everything He designed me to be."
4. Equality.
God designed the wonder of sexuality to be expressed within beautiful, loving, Biblical boundaries. Galatians 6:8 Amplified Bible says, "For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Some families take pride in and train their sons to have sex outside of marriage. He's considered a man if he has multiple lovers. However, their daughters are whores if they do likewise. The sexual double standard is from the devil. Follow God's program to train both men and women to save sexual acts for marriage while celebrating single sexuality and marital sexuality.
God uses male and female to create new life. New life is designed to be nurtured by both male and female. Yet most of our culture places the responsibility for parenting on the mother. Often when parenting is discussed what is really meant is motherhood. Many children are robbed of a relationship with dad or receive an incomplete relationship. Dads are designed to be in the circle of intimacy connecting with their children spiritually and emotionally. Dads can be true friends with their children. Read my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more.
When the Apostle Paul was writing to the churches in Galatia, some Christians had become religious renegades embracing following rules without loving relationships made possible by a life given over to God and lived through Him. What is the biggest and/or most frequent obstacle you experience in connecting relationships with your faith? You can leave an online comment and/or join my relationship group by contacting me at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
Principles for Biblical living are nourished in a relationship with God who empowers us to share Him and His ways with others. Following the rules without a growing relationship with God is a recipe for disappointment and even disaster. Galatians 3:2-4, 11-12 the Message Bible says, "Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up! . . . . The obvious impossibility of carrying out such a moral program should make it plain that no one can sustain a relationship with God that way. The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping] continues to live by them."
God in us comes out in faith that is connected to good relationships. This faith has at least four characteristics.
1. Faith Motivated and Energized by Love.
Everyone has faith. Our beliefs show up in our behavior. For faith consistently motivated by love, we must get it from God. African American Gospel singer William McDowell sings in his song, "I Give Myself Away," "Take my heart, take my life as a living sacrifice. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord, I place them in your hands. I give myself away . . . so you can use me."
Galatians 5:6 Amplified Bible talks about what God does through us when we receive Him that connects our faith and relationships, "For [if we are] in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith activated and energized and expressed and working through love."
2. Be an asset.
Properly connecting faith to relationships means we cooperate with God to avoid becoming consumed with our nuclear family to the exclusion of others.
Indira Gandhi became prime minister of India in 1966 after the death of her father, Jawaharlal Nehru. She began a mandatory program to sterilize the intellectually disabled and large populations of villagers resulting in more than seven million vasectomies. Many people in multiple countries are afraid of the fertility of the intellectually disabled and the poor because they want to limit being an asset to certain people.
Most people desire to live the best possible life connected to people in positive relationships. Malini Chib has cerebral palsy, is an author and is chairperson of Able Disable All People Together (ADAPT) whose headquarters are in Mumbai, India. Chib told Femina magazine regarding sex and the disabled, "We are treated as asexuals. I have had instances when I was told to hush up, as if it's an aberration to open up on the topic (of sex). We want society to be aware that we do have our yearnings."
God created us all with sexuality. Genesis 1:27 New Living Translation Bible says, "So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
Marriage is one way our sexuality is expressed. Sexual love doesn't have to end when we reach a certain age. Jack, a character in the romantic comedy Don Juan DeMarco, says to Marilyn, his wife of more than 30 years, "You have very, very beautiful eyes." Marilyn comments, "Come on. You know I have to go upstairs, and um I'm going to take my calcium so my bones don't break into little pieces, my aspirin so my heart doesn't clog up, my Metamucil so I don't get colon cancer, and of course my estrogen to convince my body that I'm still 23." Jack responds, "Come here." They kiss, and marital, senior sex ensues.
3. Individuality.
God designed a unique life, faith and relationships for all of us that requires examination. Self-examination is not to nurture self-pity, superiority, guilt, envy or other negativity, but for improvement in our relationships with God, self and others. Galatians 6:4 Amplified Bible says, "But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor."
Some will question our life, faith and relationships, and try to make us fit their ideas for us. "You're a 40-year-old virgin. What's wrong with you?" "You've been divorced three times. What's wrong with you?" You have never been married and have five children by different partners. What's wrong with you?" You're a married couple. Why aren't you like the married couple with both spouses working full-time, co-parenting four children and participating in a home study to adopt a fifth? What's wrong with you?" Answer, "I'm incredible and improving. I don't have to be you or who you want me to be. My sins and my successes are in God's hands. I'm cooperating with God to be everything He designed me to be."
4. Equality.
God designed the wonder of sexuality to be expressed within beautiful, loving, Biblical boundaries. Galatians 6:8 Amplified Bible says, "For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Some families take pride in and train their sons to have sex outside of marriage. He's considered a man if he has multiple lovers. However, their daughters are whores if they do likewise. The sexual double standard is from the devil. Follow God's program to train both men and women to save sexual acts for marriage while celebrating single sexuality and marital sexuality.
God uses male and female to create new life. New life is designed to be nurtured by both male and female. Yet most of our culture places the responsibility for parenting on the mother. Often when parenting is discussed what is really meant is motherhood. Many children are robbed of a relationship with dad or receive an incomplete relationship. Dads are designed to be in the circle of intimacy connecting with their children spiritually and emotionally. Dads can be true friends with their children. Read my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more.
When the Apostle Paul was writing to the churches in Galatia, some Christians had become religious renegades embracing following rules without loving relationships made possible by a life given over to God and lived through Him. What is the biggest and/or most frequent obstacle you experience in connecting relationships with your faith? You can leave an online comment and/or join my relationship group by contacting me at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
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