Do We Believe In Proper Parenting?

"Honduras" means "depth" and is also the name of a country in Central America. Jesus Christ went to great depths to preach publicly and to practice good deeds publicly. He also went to great depths to get away from the public regularly to talk with God privately and to spend private time with his apostolic family.

God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is intensely good. Satan is intensely evil. Satan seeks to split families in various ways. Jesus Chris says in Mark 3:25 Amplified Bible, "And if a house is divided (split into factions and rebelling) against itself, that house will not be able to last."

What are some lies Satan tells to motivate employers to demand too much time from employees? Write to:

Michele F. Jackson
P. O. Box 2106
Woodbridge, Virginia 22195

Follow Michele F. Jackson on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/michelelove30.

We need copious time with God, family and friends.

Ephesians 6:4 Amplified Bible says, "Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord." If dad is rarely present in relationships, how can he train, discipline and counsel his children?

Satan working through the Iranian government put Pastor and US Citizen Saeed Abedini in jail for his Christian faith and works. Pastor Saeed would like to be present with his family and serving as a Biblical father. We can help him by praying and by doing deeds to pressure Iran to release Pastor Saeed Abedini from Evin prison in Tehran, Iran.

A Chinese proverb says, "It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." Sign the petition and write a letter to Pastor Abedini at the website http://www.savesaeed.org.

Workplace flexibility, such as one-year or more of paid leave, and global freedom to parent properly are possible. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life." Saint Augustine, a North African bishop, said, "What can be hoped for which is not believed?"

Going Beyond Our Expectations

Ephesians 5:1-2 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore be imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father].  And walk in love, [esteeming and delighting in one another] as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a slain offering and sacrifice to God [for you, so that it became] a sweet fragrance."

We serve the God of more than enough. Jesus Christ did not do the minimum to try to help people. God gave his life.

Creyentes (believers) will not always be called to physically die for someone else. We are all called to give our lives completely to God, so that He can show His love for people through us in all ways possible.

A Twi African proverb says, "Love is the greatest of all virtues."

Sometimes God may call us to show love at a level way higher than we expected. Jesus Christ and His apostles had been healing and helping people for a long while. Yet His apostles were offended when a woman poured expensive perfume on Him. Jesus Christ praised the woman because He is interested in healing and helping the poor and everyone else in magnanimous ways.

God wants us to be extremely good to strangers and especially to family. 1 Timothy 5:8 Amplified Bible says, "If anyone fails to provide for his relatives, and especially for those of his own family, he has disowned the faith [by failing to accompany it with fruits] and is worse than an unbeliever [who performs his obligation in these matters]."

God is the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is concerned with our whole person, spirit, mind, physical body and financial life from conception all the way through death and the next life. Creyentes are to imitate God. 

The Chinese invented the mechanical clock. God isn't watching a clock to figure out when we will turn 18, so that he can stop being our Father.

What are some ways that you have had to help strangers and/or family that were beyond your expectations? Write to:

Michele F. Jackson
P. O. Box 2106
Woodbridge, Virginia 22195

Follow Michele F. Jackson on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/michelelove30. Happy Father's Day!

Beautiful Sexuality and Brutal Sexuality

If you sin, don't compound sins. If you have sex outside of marriage and a baby is conceived, don't automatically marry. Being unequally yoked in a relationship is more than counsel for creyentes (believers) not to marry unbelievers; it is also counsel for creyentes to marry creyentes of similar spiritual maturity.

For example, say a parent praises God for having a child, but refuses to pay for the child to eat, have clothes, shelter etc. and/or refuses to develop a relationship with the child. Matthew 18:15 Amplified Bible says, "If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two others, so that every word may be confirmed and upheld by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he pays no attention to them [refusing to listen and obey], tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector."

If someone isn't faithful with one child, is it sensible to expect that she or he will be faithful in marriage and with other children?

In America one can be so unfaithful to an unborn baby boy or baby girl as to have legal permission to kill the child. In China they take it further and make it compulsory. Ma Jian writes in the May 22, 2013 The New York Times "China's Brutal One-Child Policy," "Village family-planning officers vigilantly chart the menstrual cycle and pelvic-exam results of every woman of childbearing age in their area. If a woman gets pregnant without permission and is unable to pay the often exorbitant fine for violating the policy, she risks being subjected to a forced abortion.

According to Chinese Health Ministry data released in March, 336 million abortions and 222 million sterilizations have been carried out since 1971. (Though the one-child policy was introduced in 1979, other, less-stringent family planning policies were in place before it.) ...

Almost every one of the pregnant women I spoke to had suffered a mandatory abortion. One woman told me how, when she was eight months pregnant with an illegal second child and was unable to pay the 20,000 yuan fine (about $3,200), family planning officers dragged her to the local clinic, bound her to a surgical table and injected a lethal drug into her abdomen.

For two days she writhed on the table, her hands and feet still bound with rope, waiting for her body to eject the murdered baby. In the final stage of labor, a male doctor yanked the dead fetus out by the foot, then dropped it into a garbage can. She had no money for a cab. She had to hobble home, blood dripping down her legs and staining her white sandals red."

God created sexuality. Sexuality is beautiful when expressed according to God's Biblical design. What a wonder for spouses to engage in full body exploration coupled with Japanese love licks (oral sex) and marital intercourse with the husband entering his wife from the side while she has a leg over her husband.

When people try to redesign God's design for sexuality, sexuality becomes brutal. Abortionists in China, in America in any place are not nice people. Watch this video about abortionist LeRoy Carhart describing his work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIlYXmG287g.

We cannot develop beautiful relationships by killing unborn boys and unborn girls and misusing sexuality. The personal has a public dimension. Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King, Jr., said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Former Mexican President Benito Juarez said, "The respect for the rights of others is peace."

How Many Abortionists Like Gosnell and Karpen Are There? What Is the Abortion Industry Really Like?

Some are jealous, envious and hateful of what we have. They pretend to be our friend and try to get us to do things to "help" us that are really intended to harm us.

Satan had a special relationship with God. He lost that and couldn't get it back. In jealousy, envy and hatred of the relationship Adam and Eve were having with God, Satan pretended to be Eve's friend and influenced her to eat the harmful forbidden fruit. She then influenced Adam to eat it (Genesis 3).

Civil Rights Activist Fannie Lou Hamer went to a doctor believing she was getting friendly medical treatment; instead her doctor sterilized her because he hated black people and their sexuality. Fannie Lou Hamer had enviable social skills gained as the youngest of 20 children and used those skills to help African Americans gain voting rights and power within the Democratic Party.

Jealousy, envy and hatred are not racially exclusive. In China in the name of helping people, the Chinese one child policy has lead to more than 330 million deaths by abortion and 196 million sterilizations. Imagine that--the populations of one continent and one country being exterminated; that is what more than 330 million abortions represents; it's more than the population of America and Australia combined.

A Chinese proverb says, "pointing to a deer and calling it a horse;" meaning "right and wrong are deliberately mixed up." Satan specializes in confusion. Satan got Eve to mistake the identity of God. Eve thought that God was her enemy denying her power and thought that Satan was her friend helping her to choose something good.

God made Adam and Eve as reyes y reinas (kings and queens.) They ruled the earth and enjoyed sex without fear. Genesis 2:25 Complete Jewish Bible says, "They were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed."

Today sadly much of sexuality is soaked in fear. The spirit of fear does not produce freedom. Abortion and sterilization in China are about coercion. A ChinaAid News March 24, 2013, "With ChinaAid's Help, Two Victims of China's One-Child Policy Granted UNHCR Refugee Status" article reports that in 1995, when Guo Yanling was eight months pregnant, she was forced to have an abortion. In 1999, she was forcibly sterilized. In 2006, she was imprisoned for not being able to pay a fine for having more than one child. The Chinese government also refused to issue household registrations to her and to her husband, Du Yiliang's, three children without which they are unable to attend school or to receive government benefits. Guo Yanling's and Du Yiliang's abortion, sterilization, educational and economic terror experience is typical in China. What isn't nearly as typical is that with ChinaAid’s help, Guo Yanling and Du Yiliang have been granted refugee status by the UN High Commission on Refugees. Notes of encouragement to Du Yiliang and Guo Yanling, requests for interviews and financial contributions to ChinaAid's Emergency Relief Fund can all be submitted to ChinaAid founder and president Bob Fu at http://www.chinaaid.org.  

Some people want us to think that it is helpful to kill people and to mutilate their bodies as opposed to finding solutions to challenging situations. In America our sexuality policies do not have the level of coercion that China's do, but both America's and China's sexuality policies are rooted in fear, confusion, hatred and other evil.

American segregation was promoted as a way to empower people at the expense of other people. Today we don't have legal segregation, but we do have legal abortion. Legal abortion is promoted as a way to empower people at the expense of other people. Christian minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote in a 1963 letter from the Birmingham, Alabama, City Jail, "Injustice anywhere is a treat to justice everywhere."  

Common sense should show that abortionists, people who cut apart baby girls and baby boys and dismember them in others ways for a living, are not compassionate, quality medical providers to adolescent and adult women. The job of an abortionist requires cutting off a good conscience.

The trial and sentencing of Abortionist Kermit Gosnell has received some media attention with his killing of babies born alive after botched abortions and the death of a woman. He should be exposed for the grisly murderer he is. LifeNews.com has also reported on another Gosnell-style abortionist named Douglas Karpen. Read his story at http://www.lifenews.com/2013/05/15/another-gosnell-report-shows-texas-abortion-doc-kills-babies-born-alive/

However, where is the muckraking national and global journalism investigating the entire abortion industry? Since the beginning of China's one child policy more than 330 million babies have died by abortion. Since Roe v. Wade, there have been more than 55 million abortions in America and very little coverage of what's going on in abortion clinics. A comprehensive investigation of the abortion industry is long overdue as it impacts people at all levels of society.  

Every abortion involves an unborn baby, a male parent, a female parent and others.

Parenting is undervalued and distorted globally. In America a pervasive idea exists that parents are asexual caretakers of children, and if you want passion, find it in infidelity instead of marriage.

The first parents were married, naked (sometimes having sex) and it was natural, beautiful, passionate and good. Let's get back to the original design of sexuality. Using the Bible as our guide, why not collect the best of various cultures and incorporate it into our own? In the movie Dances With Wolves, the wife of the Sioux Native American holy man is on top of him making love with her husband while friends and family are in the tent mostly sleeping. Children need to see a model of marriage with love and incredible sex. Make us want to be married. On the occasions that siblings are produced from marital lovemaking, embrace them instead of trying to erase them through abortion.

Marital lovemaking is primarily for the closeness of the couple. Some beautiful sexuality is not connected to pro-creation. The Japanese describe oral sex as love licks.

An African proverb says, "When an elder dies it is as if a whole library has burned down." Let's check out the library before it burns down. What are some wonderful martial lovemaking ideas from Africans, Native Americans, Japanese and others?

Chinese pillow books are small, sex-instruction manuals, each on a specific topic with illustrations. You can include erotic poems written by you or someone else, pressed flowers, cards, mementos, clippings from magazines and/or books with your notes, prose of your own on special paper and whatever you and your spouse enjoy. Books can be titled Touch Me Like This, Play Time, Hot Dates, Beautiful Butts, Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Intercourse Positions, S & M Alternatives, Strategies for Presenting a Sexy Marriage to Our Children or something in a code known only to each other. What are the titles of your Chinese pillow books?

Write to:

Michele F. Jackson
P. O. Box 2106
Woodbridge, Virginia 22195

Follow Michele F. Jackson on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/michelelove30.

Ten and More Arrows for Life and Joy

"I don't want to help someone who is clearly in need because I am afraid of what it will cost me, and/or I don't approve of their lifestyle;" how many times has this thinking shown up?

I'm so glad God doesn't look at us this way. We are not perfect. Only God is perfect. We do a lot of things that God doesn't approve of, and we all need a lot of help. God helps creyentes (believers) continuously while also making us better. God also doesn't break off His eternal relationship with us because of our behavior. God loves us each and every day forever. Romans 5:8-10 Complete Jewish Bible says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in that the Messiah died on our behalf while we were still sinners. Therefore, since we have now come to be considered righteous by means of his bloody sacrificial death, how much more will we be delivered through him from the anger of God’s judgment! For if we were reconciled with God through his Son’s death when we were enemies, how much more will we be delivered by his life, now that we are reconciled!"

We have known for a long time that families don't spend enough quantity and quality time together, yet resistance exists to making substantial improvement. "Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman," says Marian Anderson, singer and civil rights advocate. Creyentes are people of faith.

One area of substantial improvement in family life is for countries globally to adopt one-year or more of paid employment leave.

Let's leave behind the one-size-fits-all thinking. Why mandate that one year or more of paid leave has to be taken all at once? Some may want to split it in various ways. One example is a dad works part of the work day, then uses leave for part of the work day while a mom does likewise in a way that their children are never in day care. I had a former supervisor who told me that quality day care is just too expensive especially when first beginning a career. She and her husband solved the problem by he worked days, and she worked nights before their children went to school. She said while this worked economically, physically and relationally it was exhausting. One year or more of paid leave would have helped this creative couple.

Does anyone have employment benefits that include one year or more of paid leave?

One year or more of paid leave is not just for married people and/or parents. While one of my single, Christian friends did not have as much as one year of paid leave, she would accrue a large leave balance so that she could take mission trips to Africa and Latin America. During these trips she would participate in distributing food, clothing, shoes, medical supplies and the Word of God. Singles with and without children can use one year or more of paid leave.

Earning money is essential to survival and progress (cash is efectivo,) and so is voluntarism in America and other countries globally. Former President John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country."

One year or more of paid leave should be granted without any necessity of giving the reason for its use.

Sometimes we need long-term paid time to grieve the loss of a family member. In America since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion 55 million babies have been killed. Since China's one-child policy was implemented in the 1970s more than 336 million babies have been killed by abortion; that's more Chinese baby boys and baby girls have lost their lives to abortion than the combined total population of the United States of America and Australia. 

A lot of lost family members need to be grieved. Chen Guangcheng is one person helping with the grieving process and working to stop loss of life. Chen Guangcheng is married to Yuan Weijing and has two children. Guangcheng, his family, friends and others have been subjected to persecution. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy. Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest.

Guangcheng, a blind self-taught lawyer, surprised China by escaping from house arrest in April 2012 and entering the US embassy in Beijing. A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng lives in New York with his wife and children.

Last Tuesday he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.

A Japanese proverb says, "One arrow can easily break; ten arrows do not easily break."

Many people are needed to speak up and to push for the implementation of one-year or more of paid employment leave and an end to all types of abortion and involuntary sterilization.

Sex, Lies and Education

Frederick McKinley Jones and his boss, Joseph Numero, formed the U.S. Thermo Control Company after Jones perfected a truck refrigeration unit. Jones' refrigeration unit meant that fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy products, other food products, blood and medicines could now be shipped all over the country without spoiling.

Preservation is also important mentally and spiritually. The Epistle of Jude is written to creyentes (believers,) "to those who are called, sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ" (Bilingual Bible New King James Version.)

Once we receive a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost, God never lets go of us for all eternity. However, creyentes sometimes let go of God by sinning.

Dr. Derek Grier says in his sermon The Anatomy of a Shipwreck that lying seems good until no one trusts you anymore.

The sin of lying is common to singles and married people. Many married people lie to people who are not their spouse to get sex.

Why is it so hard to stay sexually satisfied inside marriage?

Since ancient times zi (the written word) has been revered among the Chinese. Have you tried Chinese pillow books to communicate better sexually with your spouse? Read my March 23, 2013, article "Have You Tried Chinese Pillow Books?"

Parents with awesome, affectionate, romantic, sexually sublime marriages are well positioned to talk to their children about sex. When parents have little or no sexual relationship, talking to their children about sex may inspire their children to think, "What do you know?;" "You aren't having fun and sexual sinners seem to be having fun." These children may decide to pursue sex outside of marriage.

We live in times when schools, the media and others cannot be relied upon to teach our children about sex. Many advocates exist who promote sex outside of marriage and adolescent autonomy from parents, family and the Christian faith.

Who we are on the inside shows up on the outside. Is the view attractive?

Attractive, awful and somewhere in between, "Orad sin cesar" (Biblia Bilingue Version Reina-Valera 1960.) "Pray without ceasing" (Bilingual Bible New King James Version.) God likes us to talk with Him; God is excited to stop us from spoiling our relationships. 

Honor, Service and Relationships

"Then she came to the end of that concert, singing "Ave Maria" as nobody else can sing it. And they called her back and back and back and back again, and she finally ended by singing "Nobody Knows de Trouble I Seen." And her mother was sitting out in the audience, and she started crying; tears were flowing down her cheeks. And the person next to her said, "Mrs. Anderson, why are you crying? Your daughter is scoring tonight. The critics tomorrow will be lavishing their praise on her. Why are you crying?"

And Mrs. Anderson looked over with tears still flowing and said, "I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm crying for joy." She went on to say, "You may not remember; you wouldn't know. But I remember when Marian was growing up, and I was working in a kitchen till my hands were all but parched, my eyebrows all but scalded. I was working there to make it possible for my daughter to get an education. And I remember one day Marian came to me and said, 'Mother, I don't want to see you having to work like this.' And I looked down and said, 'Honey, I don't mind it. I'm doing it for you and I expect great things of you.'"

And finally one day somebody asked Marian Anderson in later years, "Miss Anderson, what has been the happiest moment of your life? Was it the moment that you had your debut in Carnegie Hall in New York? She said, "No, that wasn't it." Was it the moment you stood before the kings and queens of Europe?" "No, that wasn't it." "Well, Miss Anderson, was it the moment that Sibelius of Finland declared that his roof was too low for such a voice?" "No, that wasn't it." "Miss Anderson, was it the moment that Toscanini said that a voice like yours comes only once in a century?" "No, that wasn't it." "What was it then, Miss Anderson?" And she looked up and said quietly, "The happiest moment in my life was the moment that I could say, 'Mother, you can stop working now.'" Marian Anderson realized that she was where she was because somebody helped her to get there," said Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King, Jr., about international Singer and Civil Rights Activist Marian Anderson in his speech Why Jesus Called A Man A Fool.

Anderson's life showed that it is not foolish to honor your parents. "Honra a tu padre y a tu madre, para que tus dias se alarguen en la tierra que Jehova tu Dios te da," dice Biblia Bilingue Version Reina-Valera 1960. "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you," says Bilingual Bible New King James Version.

On April 4th many honored Martin Luther King Jr., a father of four children, who was assassinated on this day 45 years ago. On April 4th deceased parents and other ancestors were honored for the Chinese holiday Qingming Festival.

Treating our parents well and other people well is also treating ourselves well. John Maxwell, author, speaker, entrepreneur writes in his May 2013 article for Success magazine entitled "Taking the Leap Is it time for your big, bold venture?," "People go along with people they get along with.

"Between 70 percent and 90 percent of decisions not to repeat a purchase of anything are not about product or price. They are about some dimension of service," author and former Burger King CEO Barry J. Gibbons once noted. Yikes! If that doesn't force you to put a smile on your face and some warmth in your handshake, I don't know what will." 

Few smiles, few warm handshakes, a lack of parental respect and other poor service issues impact Christian disciplining. The ways in which we live in or out of love have a direct impact on the number and quality of our relationships.

As a part of Qingming Festival people sweep tombs. Ask God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost if there is anything that needs to be swept out of your mindset that is blocking a more influential love lifestyle. Then allow the power of God to change you and cause you to do more of those things that please Him.

Push for Paid Leave

When Jesus Christ came to fulfill the Mosaic law and the prophets, He didn't come to implement a rigid system that put people in bondage and denied them the best of living. The Gospel is filled with stories of Jesus Christ challenging His Jewish people to practice the Sabbath in a way that provides maximum help for people. Mark 2:27 Contemporary English Version Bible says, "Jesus finished by saying, “People were not made for the good of the Sabbath. The Sabbath was made for the good of people."

How can employers pay for one-year or more of paid employee leave?

** All leave balances accrued should be portable from one place of employment to the next.
** Some may prefer increased paid-leave benefits instead of a 401K match.
** Some may prefer increased paid-leave instead of a monetary increase for merit performance.
** Some may desire a customized benefit package.

What are some other ways to pay for one-year or more of paid leave?

Yes, we can have one-year or more of paid leave in America. Just because we have not gotten it in the past does not mean that we cannot get it in the near future. A Japanese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight times.”

Ida B. Wells was kicked out of a train because she refused to sit in the back. She sued the train company for discrimination and won, but the Tennessee Supreme Court overturned her victory. Ida went on to fight against racism, especially the lynching of African Americans and for women's right to vote. Wells was a married, mother of four children who also helped to found the National Association of Colored Women, National Afro-American Council and Women's Era Club in addition to her crusading journalism.

Let's leave behind the one-size-fits-all thinking. Why mandate that one year or more of paid leave has to be taken all at once? Some may want to split it in various ways. One example is a dad works part of the work day, then uses leave for part of the work day while a mom does likewise in a way that their children are never in day care. I had a former supervisor who told me that quality day care is just too expensive especially when first beginning a career. She and her husband solved the problem by he worked days, and she worked nights before their children went to school. She said while this worked economically, physically and relationally it was exhausting. One year or more of paid leave would have helped this creative couple.

How did you solve your childcare issues?

Dads who have used paternity leave, what was your experience with employment, family, friends and others? Moms who have used maternity leave, what was your experience with employment, family, friends and others?  

Does anyone have employment benefits that include one year or more of paid leave?

One year or more of paid leave is not just for married people and/or parents. While one of my single, Christian friends did not have as much as one year of paid leave, she would accrue a large leave balance so that she could take mission trips to Africa and Latin America. During these trips she would participate in distributing food, clothing, shoes, medical supplies and the Word of God. Singles with and without children can use one year or more of paid leave.

Earning money is essential to survival and progress (cash is efectivo,) and so is voluntarism in America and other countries globally. Former President John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, "And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country."

One year or more of paid leave should be granted without any necessity of giving the reason for its use. What are some positive, novel ways to use one year or more of paid leave?

Many countries in Europe and Asia already have one year or more of paid leave, while America does not. Yet in America we have a large population of Jews and Christians who say they believe in the Bible which teaches a one-year Sabbath every seven years. Long-term paid leave is good for singles, married people, everyone! Read my articles, "Paid Leave Please," "Paid Leave is Good for Us" and "Novel Submission."

Proverbs 25:11 Amplified Bible says, "A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Leave an on-line comment. Recommend this article on Google. Tweet with me (michelelove30).

Novel Submission

"And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ," writes the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:20-21 New Living Translation Bible. These are verses that are violated in so many ways globally with men and women missing opportunities to help each other.

The New York Times February 27, 2013, article "Desperate Hunt for Day Care in Japan As More Women Work, a Shortage Poses a Threat to Economic Growth," implies that fathers and mothers are not equally participating in the rewards and responsibilities of parenthood, which is a global reality.

The article features the plight of Ayaka Okumura in trying to secure day care for her daughter, Ayane. Ayaka, a manager at an accounting firm, does all the hunting for day care, expresses fret that she did not time her pregnancy to put her name toward the top of day-care waiting lists and even wonders if she should have cut short her legally-guaranteed-one-year-maternity leave to better position herself on the day-care waiting lists, which for Japanese-government-subizied-day-care centers is more than 25,000 long and many private day care centers also have long waiting lists.

No where in the article does it talk about a one-year-legally-guaranteed-paternity leave for Ayane's father and Ayaka's husband, Masanori. A one-size-fits all, unequal, imbalanced approach to childcare puts a strain on marriage and parenting in Japan, America and other places. In America one-year of paid leave is not legally guaranteed. "Vive la difference!" is a French saying meaning, "Long live the difference (between the sexes)." Ayane and others like her are not receiving balanced input from their fathers and mothers denying these children the learning of the difference in the sexes and the enjoyment of a close relationship with both their fathers and mothers.  Relationships require both quality and quantity time.

If two or more instead of one were working on child care, maybe Ayane could enjoy two years or more of being cared for by her parents instead of a day care center, and Ayaka, who says in the article, "I'm filled with so much worry, and completely spent," could rest more releasing inspiration for both her marriage with Masanori and her parenting of Ayane. Well-rested wives are more interested in sex than tired wives.  Wouldn't it be nice for husbands and wives to sit face-to-face, hugging each other while engaging in deep vaginal penetration, kissing and eye contact on a frequent basis without fatigue?

What about a men's and women's movement pushing for one-year or more paid paternity leave? Some social rules need to be challenged by creative, courageous, compassionate people. A Hausa of West Africa riddle asks, "Why is a man like pepper?" Answer: "Until you have tested him, you can't tell how strong he is."

Long-term paid leave is good for singles, married people, everyone! Read my articles, "Paid Leave Please" and "Paid Leave is Good for Us."

Also two years or more of paid leave (one year or more for dad and one year or more for mom) is time to work on the heads and hearts of other family members to help with child care. Maybe Ayane and others like her would never have to go to day care before going to school?

The New York Times article says, "Almost 70 percent of Japan's social welfare spending is directed at people 65 or older, while less than 4 percent supports children and families, according to a government-affiliated research group." Elderly family can use some of their free time to help raise younger family. This is an investment that can pay dividends for eternity. International Christian ministers Dennis and Barbara Rainey say, "God designed the family to be a spiritual garden that grows flowers for today and seeds for tomorrow."

Besides day care and paid maternity leave, what are some novel ways to support marriages and raise children?

Love Without Limit

"I absolutely love, love my life. Every year seems to get better for me," said International Bible Teacher Francis Chan in a speech at Liberty University encouraging believers to cultivate an intimate relationship with God that they share with both believers and non-believers in their every day, ordinary lives.

Chan's message is in agreement with Gospel Singer Kim Burrell's song "Sweeter." Burrell sings, "Every day is sweeter, sweeter than the day before, learning how to love you more . . . . The more I get to know ya', know ya', find out that you're so good for me . . . . You're good on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday . . . . Every day makes me want to add another day to my week cause you're so sweet.

God's sweet is too good to keep to ourselves. 1 Juan 3:16 Dios Habla Hoy Biblia dice, "Conocemos lo que es el amor porque Jesucristo dio su vida por nosotros; así también, nosotros debemos dar la vida por nuestros hermanos." 1 John 3:16 Contemporary English Version Bible says, "We know what love is because Jesus gave his life for us. That’s why we must give our lives for each other."

Some people falsely think that love has a limit. When Hollywood Actor Lauren Bacall discovered she was pregnant, she excitedly told her husband, Hollywood Actor, Humphrey Bogart. Bogart cried. "What's wrong?," she inquired. Bogart responded, "I'm happy, but I'm also very sad." Bogart said his joy was mixed with sadness, "Because once you have a child, I'll never be as important to you as I am now."

While some spouses do neglect their spouses when children are added to the family, God didn't design His love inside of believers to express itself this way. Marital love takes priority over parental love while simultaneously, extravagantly loving spouse and children.

Our children are important, but we don't cleave to them. One day they will form families of their own or branch out into single adulthood. Genesis 2:24-25 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence." Genesis 2:23-25 the Message Bible says, "The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone,flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.”Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame."

Sometimes we close our hearts when God wants to increase our capacity to love Him, ourselves and other people. In addition to developing vibrant relationships with our children, having children is supposed to increase the love between husband and wife. Godly love is a multiplier. Division is of the devil.

Jesus Christ is not arrogant, but He is certainly confident. When Christ added apostles and other disciples to His life, Christ was not diminished as a person, neither were His original relationships diminished by adding new ones.

God seeks to make us like Him. We have corrupt ideas about companionship. Reading, studying, meditating on God's Word, the Bible, and talking to God about His Bible is a primary way that God teaches us to love Him, ourselves and other people. Second Corinthians 3:16-18 the Message Bible says, "Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."

We want to be loved by the people we share a relationship, and we will often say and do things to indicate how we want to be loved. Some times our loved ones miss the message. An Egyptian saying for this type of miscommunication is, "A thousand raps at the door, but no salute or invitation from within."

Sometimes we miss the plea for love because we expect other people to be like us. Yet no two people, even twins and other multiples, are the same. Like we study God in the Bible, and talk to Him about what He has to say, we have to study people and talk with them about what they have to say. Then empowered by the Holy Ghost, give love the way it can be received.

Sex is Good, Very Good

God created the heavens and the earth in six days, and said all of creation is good, very good. So I know that sleep is good, and science is saying that adults need six to eight hours of sleep nightly.

But I have to confess I wish someone would invent a pill that would replace the need for sleep. I can relate to Virginia Woolf when she says, "Sleep, that deplorable curtailment of the joy of life."

I don't like to miss anything; I want to maximize everything. My mother says I was always like this from birth. I had to see everything; to avoid crying don't lay Michele down; prop her up in a way that she's able to access a panoramic view.

Side story here -- don't just let your baby cry on and on; she's trying to tell you to fix a problem

As a child my mom says she had the worst time getting me to go to sleep.

Ugly isn't Holy
Now as an adult I'm currently trying to lose some body fat from my 5 feet 6 inch small-boned 8 frame. I'm smaller than Marilyn Monroe who was a size 12 or 16 depending on the source. I can imagine some of you now thinking something like, "Seek inner beauty." That I possess and am becoming more inwardly beautiful daily because God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost live on the inside and is showing up on the outside in increasing measure. I live by Ephesians 5:10 New Living Translation Bible which says, "Carefully determine what pleases the Lord."

Did you also know cultivating outer beauty is a Christian virtue? Ugly isn't holy! A man says to his woman in Song of Songs 7:1-7 New Living Translation Bible, "How beautiful are your sandaled feet, o queenly maiden. Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman. Your navel is perfectly formed like a goblet filled with mixed wine. Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat bordered with lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle. Your neck is as beautiful as an ivory tower. Your eyes are like the sparkling pools in Heshbon by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is as fine as the tower of Lebanon overlooking Damascus. Your head is as majestic as Mount Carmel, and the sheen of your hair radiates royalty. The king is held captive by its tresses. Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights! You are slender like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit."

Sleep has many benefits one of which is it can help me to be "slender like a palm tree." In June 2011 the New England Journal of Medicine published an article which reported that researchers at Harvard University completed a 20-year study conducted in four-year intervals of measuring the weight of 120,877 men and women who were not obese and did not have chronic diseases. These researchers discovered that adults who slept nightly in the six-to-eight-hours-of-nightly-sleep range gained fewer pounds than those whose sleep patterns varied outside the six-to-eight hours of nightly sleep.

Sexual Frustration
"It's always too early to quit." -- Norman Vincent Peale

My mom says as a child I asked a lot of questions. I wasn't always satisfied with the answers adults gave especially on subjects that made them uncomfortable. As a three-year-old I was frustrated that my maternal grandmother wouldn't answer my questions about "butts." Yes, three years old is not too young to talk to our children about sex. We are created by God as sexual beings. Jenny Walsh of La Trobe University and author of a sex guide published through the Australian Research Center on Sex, Health and Society, encourages parents to talk to our children ages two through 17 often about sex; it doesn't encourage them to engage in sex, but ensures a good education. A good sexual education includes and is not limited to labeling body parts with accurate, respectful terminology, such as "penis" and "vagina" when engaging in every-day-life activities, such as, toilet training. Also always celebrate the physical body created by God as opposed to creating a sense of sin and shame about the physical body.

Later on as a third or fourth grader I still had questions about sex. I talked with my mom. She would only tell me about female menstrual cycles and reproduction. What I really wanted know was how to have sex, but mom wouldn't go there saying I was too young for this information and needed to wait until marriage time.

Tina, who is my younger sister, I and other girlfriends enjoyed playing with the dolls Ken and Barbie. I had thoughts like, "Surely Ken and Barbie are suppose to do more than just kiss?" So I came up with a solution.

Conspiring with Tina, one night we hid under our parents' bed. Fortunately, for my parents, they caught my sister and I before any action transpired!

In the police-like interrogation of the two "criminals" my mother didn't even grill my sister for hatching this plan, she zeroed in on the visionary.

If I didn't know then that sleep was good, very good, at least I knew sex was.

Living On Purpose

Prema Dhanraj's mom, Ruthie, like Hannah, the mom of Samuel, prayed for her first child. These moms dedicated Prema and Samuel to God. Prema became a doctor. Samuel became a prophet.

God gives us children for multiple reasons. Ask God to reveal the reasons, and then nurture them and the child. Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."

Prayers are meant to be put into action. Eli trained Samuel in ministry. Prema completed medical school. Samuel became a premier prophet of the Hebrews. Prema became Head of the Reconstructive and Plastic Surgery department of Christian Medical College and Hospital in Vellore, India, and in 1999 she founded Agni Raksha to provide medical treatment to burn victims and to provide career training. Many of the hospital's burn patients are victims of bride burning which can happen when the groom's family is not satisfied with the dowry from the bride's family. Demanding a dowry is suppose to be illegal as of 1961, but it is still practiced.

Samuel and Prema did not forget the investment their God and their parents made in them. They returned it to their family, society and even the world. Samuel's testimony is available to readers of the Bible, the most-read book in history. In addition to her work in India, Prema speaks and trains people internationally to help burn victims. Both Samuel and Prema are committed believers with clear purpose in life. An African proverb says, "If you don't know who you are, anyone can name you; and if anyone can name you, you will answer to anything."

Please share some prayers for your children that were answered in a life lived with godly purpose.

Teflon Marriage and Parenting

God did not design our spouses to shield us from acknowledging, accepting and acting on personal responsibilities like parenting our children. The Jews of the Old Testament going into the New Testament were like children parented by the Law until God the Son Jesus Christ came and offered them a marriage relationship. In a marriage relationship we are adults with adult responsibilities. We don't stop being our parents' children, but our parents are no longer responsible for our behavior, and our spouse is not designed to take responsibility for our behavior. We are responsible for our own behavior while God and our spouse are to love us continuously in truth, mercy, forgiveness and other godly qualities.

Parenting is a job for each individual father and mother. Childlike spouses may complain that their parental spouses do not want frequent sex and/or creative sex such as putting on costumes and acting out love plays.

When a couple operates as the union of a childlike spouse and a parental spouse they will have trouble bonding because they act like Teflon to each other. Mature adults are repelled by sex with children. Mature adults are not disinterested in sex; they want sex with another mature, committed adult.

Yet sometimes a parental spouse enables the childlike spouse to pass off his parental responsibilities onto her which is destructive to both spouses' sex drive. One way mothers enable fathers to pass their parental responsibilities onto them is to require the family to have a certain economic standard of living that requires the father to work at one or more jobs, businesses and/or ministries for excessive numbers of hours weekly. When he is done working, his energy spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically is sapped. He doesn't have enough inside of him to give to God, wife and children.

Ohiyesa (Dakota for "Wins Often"), who took the name Charles Alexander Eastman when he received Jesus Christ as His Savior and Lord in the 1800s, is a husband, father of six children, physician, writer, author, speaker, advocate for Native American Rights, among other things, who described American culture as "a system of life based on trade." Many Americans both Christian and non-Christian worship trade which is really the love of money. The foundation of their lifestyle is money, not God. They value material wealth more than their relationship with God, spouse and children. We need to earn money to obtain things needed for survival and enjoyment. The source for obtaining anything is God. Deuteronomy 8:17-18 the Message Bible says, "If you start thinking to yourselves, "I did all this. And all by myself. I'm rich. It's all mine!"-well, think again. Remember that God, your God, gave you the strength to produce all this wealth so as to confirm the covenant that he promised to your ancestors-as it is today.". 

In order for fathers to parent in the Biblical way, mothers and fathers may need to live in a town house instead of a single-family home, or they may need to rent instead of own, or they may need some other creative living arrangement. Some married couples can live in large houses with both spouses operating in Biblical balance in their marriage, parenting, employment and other areas of life. Other married couples are not able to do this; they need to reduce their material lifestyle in order to lift up their relationships with God, spouse and children. It's worth it to find a successful way to work fewer hours at a job, business and/or ministry in order to have the internal resources to build a balanced marriage relationship and to build a parental relationship with our children that is complete (male and female both active extensively in a parental relationship with their children) instead of incomplete (mother/child parent relationship with virtually no father/child relationship.)

Parental roles in order foster fun, fulfilling marital sex. These couples are more likely to totally share themselves in multiple ways. Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg write in their book The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women Discover the Secrets to Great Sex In A Godly Marriage, "The reality is that we often want the same things. Our deepest desire, whether we're male or female, is ultimately to become one. He wants intercourse; she wants intercourse. He may want physical intercourse more than she does, and she may want emotional intercourse more than he does, but when a couple can meld physical and emotional intercourse, they will find the pathway to great sex."

Frequent, fun, filling marital sex is not simply physical unions. Our relations with our spouse is connected to our relationships with God, children and others. Marital couples have better sex when fathers have an active, loving, extensive relationship with their children. Ephesians 5:4 Amplified Bible says, "Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord."

If fathers tell their daughters and sons, they are priceless treasures, but spend little or no time with them learning who they are in detail, then their words are false and will probably inspire anger. Children want fathers to love them in truth and reality. Love takes lots of time and effort. When we become comfortable with the parent-child relationship, then a father may not feel compelled to answer a daughter's questions about dating and/or sex with "Go ask your mother." The same applies to mothers and sons.

When fathers abdicate their parental responsibilities, and mothers absorb them, mothers are subjected to extreme pressure to function outside of the Biblical model for wives. They become like a parent to their husbands who are saying and acting out, "I am not mature. I want someone else to handle my responsibilities."

Immaturity and marriage don't mix well. Genesis 1:24 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." God designed chronological adults to put some distance between them and their biological or adoptive parents, so that they may form a multifaceted, strong, higher order relationship with their spouse. A spouse who becomes like a parent to another spouse creates a desire in the childlike spouse to separate instead of bond with them.

While a wife may enable her husband to turn her into the father/mother, she resents the husband's behavior. Resentful people reek of anger. Anger can become depression, bitterness, meanness or something else that acts like Teflon preventing intimacy.

While often it is the father who may pass off his parental responsibilities to the mother, the mother may do the same thing. Sin is no respecter of persons.

Childlike husbands need to learn to switch from demanding infants who want their spouses to take care of their needs to adult husbands able to give themselves up for the needs of their wives and children. 1 Corinthians 13:5 Amplified Bible says about love, "It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

Childlike husbands do not consider that their wives have needs separate from their husbands' needs. Some of the needs of wives are for their husbands to love them and to love their children. When a husband has an active and expansive relationship with his children, he frees up his wife's time and her heart to pursue a job, business, ministry, a hobby, a friendship or something else. This type of husband helps his wife live in balance. Balanced people are often happy people. Happy people are often eager for marital sex. They are more willing to wake their husbands up with a kiss, a smile, foreplay and a sexual workout. My Twitter friend Nancy Wasson says, "When you choose to live a marriage of LOVE, your spouse changes before your eyes."

Please chat with me via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," Google+ and/or leave an on-line comment.
 
Parental wives need to learn to respect their husbands, and stop treating them like children incapable of fathering their children. Parental wives will need to learn how to encourage their childlike husbands to accept his parental responsibilities and to adapt to his parental style which may be very different from hers. She will need to learn to stop covering his parental mistakes and to allow him to reap the consequences of his choices. For example, if the husband feeds his children candy for Saturday breakfast, then he needs to spend the day caring for sugar-crazed children. Submission to a spouse is not about enabling evil but empowering good behavior. Ephesians 5:22 Amplified Bible says, "Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord." God is good and is molding His people into a clearer reflection of His goodness.

A spouse who insists to remain a childlike husband is not capable of being a Biblical husband. While God asks us to be forgiving, believing, trusting and welcoming to people like children, He calls His mature people to live and to share the full counsel of His Word. Ephesians 5:25-26 Amplified Bible says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,  So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word." If a husband insists to be childlike, refusing to mature in Biblical principles, then he will not be able to sanctify, cleanse and wash his wife in the Word because the Word is not operating in his life at a high level.

A husband who is in authority is also living in his responsibilities. Jesus Christ had authority because he lived in Biblical principles. Jesus Christ was not irresponsible or accepting of responsibilities that were not His own.

Conversely, a parental wife has taken over her husband's parental responsibilities, so that her husband is no longer in authority in an area God designed him to be in authority. The parental spouse has become the head of the house. A parental wife like a childlike husband is not living in Biblical principles.

Because in America we tend to associate authority with tyranny, we may miss the Biblical truth that authority is service as it is applied to family relations. A great marriage involves both husbands and wives serving each other enthusiastically and expansively. Luke 22:24-26 Amplified Bible says, "Now an eager contention arose among them [as to] which of them was considered and reputed to be the greatest. But Jesus said to them, The kings of the Gentiles are deified by them and exercise lordship [ruling as emperor-gods] over them; and those in authority over them are called benefactors and well-doers. But this is not to be so with you; on the contrary, let him who is the greatest among you become like the youngest, and him who is the chief and leader like one who serves."

Continuing to live as a childlike husband and a parental wife will systematically cause spouses to act like Teflon to each other preventing intimacy, love and sublime sex from sticking to their relationship.

Know Your Place

Some full-time parents say, "I don't work." What a negative confession!

Nonprofit work is just as valuable as work for profit. Imagine if Mohandas Gandhi said, "I don't work," because he was an activist of love and non-violence in the quest for India's independence from Britain and to remain a united country.

If one person is ashamed and out of order, it affects others negatively. If Gandhi became ashamed and out of order and decided to leave activism to join a British, corporate law firm, then perhaps while he was making himself rich the quest for India's independence might not have been victorious on 8/15/1947, more partition might have occurred and because India was smaller she might not be the world's largest democracy today.

Before God created the earth, God planned for Gandhi to do what he did. Gandhi, the unashamed activist, inspired other activists like Martin Luther King Jr. If Gandhi didn't show that love and nonviolence could be effective against evil, then perhaps King wouldn't have used it, and African Americans today would still be mostly the poorest of the poor having to go to Colored Only places.

Confusion of purpose is from Satan. People sometimes become confused because of the love of money.  1 Timothy 6:10 Amplified Bible says, "For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many acute [mental] pangs."

Money is not evil. The love of money is evil. Money is a tool for ministry and other things. God gave some passion and purpose to make money, so that they have the means to do good by giving away much for the betterment of people and keeping more than enough for an enjoyable, excellent life for self and family. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."

Your office hours aren't 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.? If you are in the place God planned for you, celebrate. God designed the body of believers to be diverse. While we have the same head, Jesus Christ, everyone is not the same. It pleases God to make people African, European, Asian, Hispanic, male, female, working all different kinds of assignments at all different kinds of hours and with different abilities. 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part."

Take pleasure in your place. Cooperate with God to stop those who try to knock you out of it.

Writing Kindness, Goodness and Gentleness on Souls

Rafael, my son, and I entered an Hispanic restaurant on Monday designed like we were walking into the ocean. Blue "water" engulfed our senses. Chandeliers of bubbles cascaded from the ceiling.

Bubbles are beautiful, and they burst easily. God created our feelings. Our feelings are sometimes as fragile as bubbles. Kindness helps to protect them and bring out their beauty. Kindness complements feelings. Kindness is not a feeling, but a behavior that God living on the inside of His believers gives us the choice and ability to do. Galatians 5:22-23 Amplified Bible says, "But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."

Kindness may require us to go out of our way to show someone we really care about them after we did something contradictory to kindness. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child. Cindy Beall writes in her book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken Finding Forgiveness and Restoration, "From the moment of Chris' confession, his goal has been to restore my trust in him. Even when I doubt and question him, he does not get defensive or have a "get over it" attitude. He knows his actions caused me indescribable pain, and he accepts the responsibility as his own. He will do anything to help me feel secure in our marriage. He has laid down his life for me."

Kindness seeks to understand people and how we are influencing each other. A lot of arguments and conflicts among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about. Read my article "Tie Me Up?"

Water fills the ocean. God desires to fill our life. When God fills our life, our life is full of goodness. Goodness used to be a euphemism for God. Dr. Albert Schweizer, a Christian missionary, who left Switzerland to go to the Congo in Africa and take care of lepers, inspired African American Patricia Bath. Bath became a doctor herself and earned fours patents. Bath also pioneered the worldwide discipline of "community ophthalmology," a volunteer-based program to bring eye care to underserved populations. With three other doctor friends Bath founded the American Institute for the Prevention of Blindness (AIPB) to help blind people in third-world countries have access to eye care.

Goodness does not view and treat people as problems. Goodness steadfastly seeks to overcome obstacles hindering people from living the best possible life. Romans 12:21 Amplified Bible says, "Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good."

You may not be called to be a doctor, a missionary or to start a nonprofit group, but you are called to bring goodness to family, friends and all your relationships. Read my article "7 Ingredients for Intimate Relationships."

Goodness and gentleness swim together in the same ocean. Gentleness embraces people instead of acting on attitudes like, "I don't like you. You don't measure up to my expectations of how someone should behave, so I'm going to try to harm you." On Tuesday of this week a restaurant manager, not at the ocean-decorated restaurant, told me that Rafael was disturbing his patrons. Rafael, a 19-year-old man, went to the restroom on his own and came back to sit at our table three times because somebody was probably using the one-toilet-only male bathroom. I asked the manager was Rafael harming anyone. The manager said no, but his presence was disturbing paying patrons because he would pace some instead of stand still waiting while the other person was in the bathroom. I explained that Rafael has autism. The manager said he could see that he had a disability. Since the manager could also see that I was refusing to give him an inappropriate apology, he paid for our meal.

Conflict is inevitable. Swimming with gentleness is a witness to everyone of God/goodness living on the inside. Robert Mark Alter, a psychotherapist, writes in his book, Good Husband, Great Marriage Finding the Good Husband...in the Man You Married A Relationship Revolution, "One couple I was seeing told me that every time they started to bicker or argue, their seven-year-old son, Sam, would start to sing very loudly and beat the sides of his head with his fists, and their four-year-old, Krissy, would say, "Please no fight...please no fight...please no fight..." with tears running down her cheeks. When you have children, every way you are is being watched, everything you do gets seen, every word you speak gets heard, everything that happens in your family gets written in their soul."

Please leave an on-line comment sharing how you are writing kindness, goodness and gentleness on souls, or to say, "I like this article." Please also contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to join my relationship group.

10 Benefits Friends Shouldn't Leave Home Without

Leaving home without a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost is a now and eternal loss. God lavishes many benefits on His friends that are designed to be passed on lavishly and habitually to others. 2 Corinthians 6:6-7 Amplified Bible describes ten God-given benefits: "By innocence and purity, knowledge and spiritual insight, longsuffering and patience, kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in unfeigned love; By [speaking] the word of truth, in the power of God, with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand [to attack] and for the left hand [to defend]."
 
God's good friends relate a lot with God. Being filled with God, they have a lot of benefits to share with others.

1.  Innocence.

A person who washed in water and soap once a year would stink enormously. Likewise if we only talk with God and do what He says only once a year, once a month or once a week, we stink spiritually. Stinking spiritually means that we are full of things like envy, self-centeredness, greed, sin etc. that disconnects relationships.

True friends want to stay connected. They bathe often to maintain the beauty of being innocent, free from the sins that disconnect. When we really want to know God and people, we can talk to God like African-American, Gospel singer Earnest Pugh does in his song, "Rain On Us," "Shower down. Shower down. Shower down. Send your Spirit, Lord. Rain. Rain on us." We need the deluxe wash of God on the inside to make us innocent, free from those things things that disconnect us from God and people.

A stinky unwashed or infrequently washed spirit corrupts self and other people and makes it difficult to maintain and grow friendships of the same sex, opposite sex, various races and in the circles of intimacy, friendship, participation and exchange. See my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more discussion on the different types of relationships.

2.  Purity.

How are you? Having been purified by God believers can answer with a customized version of, "Incredible and improving."

When God introduced us to Himself and we received Him, God began a continual purification process in us. No sickness nor struggle in our life need spoil us. God is able to purify the poisonous giving us and others a good life today and for eternity. It does not matter if the sickness or struggle is little or large, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and/or physical. African American, Gospel singer DeWayne Woods was divinely purified from HIV. Woods sings in his song "God Still Heals," "I'm alive today to testify that God still heals."

When God purifies us, He connects us with more people. God has given Woods a platform to connect people with Jesus Christ and draw others closer to Him. The Apostle Paul cultivated multiple friends of a wide variety. Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 11:1 New Living Translation Bible, "And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."

3.  Knowledge.

In ancient Jewish wisdom water is a metaphor for knowledge. The facts of life can be found in the Word of God. Joshua 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success."

John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ruin. Acquire the facts of life.

A fundamental fact of life is success is not possible without good relationships. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

The facts of life cannot be acquired quickly. Learning how to live better with people is a life-time study. Participate in individual study of the Word of God and group study along with seminars, CDs, DVDs, classes and other ways to learn as much as you can about what God has to say. We cannot do good if we don't know it. Contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to participate in my Thursday relationship group.
 

4.  Spiritual Insight.

Spiritual insight is being inspired and empowered by God to understand and to do what He says to do. Every quality of God is interconnected. We cannot work one aspect of the Word of God to the exclusion of other aspects. If we just focus on one thing, then we get out of balance. The devil loves out of balance people. 1 Peter 5:8 Amplified Bible says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour." 

5.  Longsuffering.

When God first introduces Himself to us, He comes to live inside us, but He does not do away with our sin nature. We cooperate with God to allow Him to control and manifest greater parts of Himself through us connecting others to God and ourselves while also overcoming external obstacles.

Chinese Christian author, speaker and church leader Watchman Nee suffered sickness, poverty, church conflicts and imprisonment until death to celebrate Christ inside him and to share Christ with others. Nee had a chance to stay out of Communist China, but he didn't take it and said about his decision, “If a mother discovered that her house was on fire, and she herself was outside the house doing the laundry, what would she do? Although she realized the danger, would she not rush into the house? Although I know that my return is fraught with dangers, I know that many brothers and sisters are still inside. How can I not return?”

6.  Patience.

Just because we were impatient in the past doesn't mean that in the future we will not be calm and steady through temptation and God gaining greater control of us. If we are chasing God, celebrate where we are while seeking to go further.

Paula White, senior pastor of Without Walls International Church in Florida, writes in her book Simple Suggestions for A Sensational Life, "Too many people today are predicting their end based on their beginnings. In life the most important thing is not where you start, but where you finish. I am so thankful that God can interrupt a person's life and change the destiny of that person for His good. God does not use your past to determine your future. . . so why should you?"

A mother wanted her daughter to wear some other color than white for her bridal gown because her daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and was marrying someone other than her baby's father. The daughter is a Christian, asked God for forgiveness, ceased having sex outside of marriage and is growing spiritually. White is a perfectly appropriate color for her bridal gown. When God forgives, we have no reason to hang onto the past and every reason to move forward at His pace in His pleasant manner.

7.  Kindness.

Kindness searches and seeks to remove those areas where we are cheating people. In the dissolution of marriages and other romantic relationships, some times one partner will fail to pursue copious visitation with their children. In doing so they are communicating to their children that they don't want them. God created us to receive and to give love. Mother Teresa said, "There is much suffering in the world--physical, material, mental. The suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others. The material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger, from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases. But the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."

While we all need some time alone, much time is designed to be spent in relationship with other people. Open your heart especially to God and family.

8.  Unfeigned Love.

Any old love won't do. We don't naturally know how to love. God has to teach us. 1 John 4:7, 19 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. . . . We love each other because he loved us first."

The love of God inside believers is enthusiastic, extravagant, enlightened and designed to be given out in the same measure. 

9.  Truth.

Are we honest, above suspicion in all things? David writes in Psalm 26:2 Amplified Bible, "Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; test my heart and my mind." That's a good, regular conversation to have with God. Sometimes the things we do seem innocent to us, but not to others.

A stash of condoms in your car glove compartment might be prep for passionate participation in the delightful, God-designed gift of martial lovemaking. However, if it's not typical of your temperament or explained behavior, what might a spouse stumbling upon this think?

10.  Righteousness.

A relationship with God overflows into seeking to be a magnet God uses to draw people to Him. People aren't perfect but premium believers are always cooperating with God to prune off the corrupt and push out God's goodness.

We cannot do anything to separate ourselves from the love of God. Having received such good love why not seek to draw closer to God? Examine our behavior to see if it would pass the test of, "Would this please God?" Proverbs 12:28 Amplified Bible says, "Life is in the way of righteousness (moral and spiritual rectitude in every area and relation), and in its pathway there is no death but immortality (perpetual, eternal life)."

Relationships are always changing us. Choose spouses and friends well. A Russian proverb says, "Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are."

Please leave an on-line comment sharing the way God has benefited you with innocence, purity, knowledge, spiritual insight, longsuffering, patience, kindness, unfeigned love, truth and righteousness.

4 Ways to Enduring Love

God inserts inspiration everywhere. When weariness strikes talk to God to work it out. Living in continual weariness is a wish from Satan. Love endures.

1 Corinthians 13:7 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." 1 Corinthians 13:7 shares with us four qualities of enduring love.

1.  Never Give Up.

Some dismiss the dreams of children as being temporary and ever-changing. Leila Lopes, a Christian, the currently reigning Miss Universe, from the African nation Angola, which is the Portuguese name for the ruling ngola they encountered in the 1480s, tells New African Woman magazine, "Pursue your dreams, stay true to yourself and never look back. If you try hard enough you can achieve anything." Lopes says that ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of competing in the Miss Universe Pageant.

Some say that 90 percent of what we hear daily is negative. Tune out the naysayers by tapping into the never-ending power of God the Holy Ghost who lives on the inside of Christians.  

Dreams are not dust to be swept away by the duties of reality. Lopes never gave up on her childhood dream that was realized as an adult. Lopes enduring love for God and herself overflows to others. God is using Lopes to share with people globally the message of love and beauty in Jesus Christ, in the continent of Africa and in Africans from the motherland and the diaspora.

2.  Believe the Best of Every Person.

Life doesn't always go according to our mental script. I wanted my 19-year-old son, Rafael, to enjoy a salad while soaking in the bathtub. He received it with so much joy, that he knocked the salad off the ledge of the tub spilling Spring mix leaves, tomatoes, olives and the other contents on the floor and in the bath water. I held in upset. Rafael didn't spill the salad on purpose. It was a mistake. I gave him time to himself to process the event. He said, "I'm sorry." Then, "I do good." I gave him a rag without any critical comments. We cleaned up together. My calm efficiency promoted his calm joy. After clean up, he continued to enjoy soaking and eating.

The healthiest, happiest, hardiest relationships share far more positivity than negativity. Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of Relationship Research Institute, says to practice the five to one ratio. For every one negative interaction (a complaint, a disagreement, an argument, etc.) engage in five positive interactions (a compliment, a smile, a kiss, a hug, cuddling, a shared laugh or happy memory, etc.)

3.  Be Ever Hopeful.

Kenneth Ulmer was a successful radio broadcast professional, went through two divorces, conceived two children by two different women and was suicidal.

Today's circumstances may be disastrous, but in many tomorrows they may be delightful. Keep on hoping for the best.

Ulmer not only married again he has been married for more than 30 years, adopted a son, adopted a teenage daughter from Africa who had AIDS and is now Bishop Kenneth Ulmer of Faith Central Bible Church in California.

4.  Endure.

Some relationships God designed for a lifetime. Just because God designed marriage as two people becoming one does not mean that two people will not struggle to keep sin from shredding the marriage. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child.

Divorce is an option with repeated adulteries, but so is heart surgery to save the marriage. Endurance means slicing out selfishness.

We cannot give 50 percent of self to a relationship. When two people give people 50 percent, 1/2 X 1/2 equals 1/4. We end up with less of a relationship! But in dying to selfishness and giving 100 percent of self to each other, not only was Cindy's and Chris' marriage saved, but also both the mom of the child conceived out of wedlock and the child are active parts of Cindy's and Chris' life so much so that their conquering adultery and commitment to love is their ministry. No matter what we are facing, love (God's love in us) can overcome it, multiply and edify.

God is so good that He can make our relationships better after major conflicts than they were before them. Today will you choose love over everything else? Please leave an on-line comment, and choose love with me on Twitter.com at "Michelelove30" and Google's G+.