10 Keys to Being Irresistible

God is irresistible. Are you? Check yourself against the following 10 irresistible qualities plucked from the Bible book of Colossians where the Apostle Paul pours out praise for God the Son Jesus Christ and encourages us to lean our entire personality on Him.

1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.

We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Theresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."

Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.

God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.

Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather helping everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.

Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.

2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.

God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.

If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.

Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.

Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful." 

George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon The Power of a Smile, "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
 
Marriage can be absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.

Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.

4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Being immovable in Christ is not stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.

While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.

5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex. Peggy Vaughan estimates in her book The Monogamy Myth that nearly 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have engaged in sex outside of their marriage.

Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.

Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.

Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.

6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."

To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating.

When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!

Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity sucks the life out of relationships.

7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.

Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times.

Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.

A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her neck and breast; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more special you make her feel, the more aroused she gets; the more sex you want. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment.

When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage.

8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.

Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.

Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"

Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.

Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.

God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed.

The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money. 

9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people.

An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.

Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."

10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.

In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction.


Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.

Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things.

John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by learning how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.

Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex. We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris and her other body parts.

In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.