Connecting Relationships and Faith

Rafael, my son, and I last week enjoyed viewing endless white, yellow sunlight baby blue sky laced with clouds in an Indian restaurant sitting next to a floor-reaching-to-the-ceiling window. Rafael was happy to allow me to sample his lamb kebab while I enjoyed my Bombay salmon. Then he discovered the magnificence of the lamb kebab for himself along with cardamon tea with milk which he had a second serving of to accompany his rice pudding dessert. As we ate God the Holy Ghost was inspiring me through the book of Galatians about connecting relationships and faith. 

Principles for Biblical living are nourished in a relationship with God who empowers us to share Him and His ways with others. Following the rules without a growing relationship with God is a recipe for disappointment and even disaster. Galatians 3:2-4, 11-12 the Message Bible says, "Let me put this question to you: How did your new life begin? Was it by working your heads off to please God? Or was it by responding to God's Message to you? Are you going to continue this craziness? For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. If you weren't smart enough or strong enough to begin it, how do you suppose you could perfect it? Did you go through this whole painful learning process for nothing? It is not yet a total loss, but it certainly will be if you keep this up!  . . . . The obvious impossibility of carrying out such a moral program should make it plain that no one can sustain a relationship with God that way. The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping] continues to live by them."

God in us comes out in faith that is connected to good relationships. This faith has at least four characteristics.

1.  Faith Motivated and Energized by Love.

Everyone has faith. Our beliefs show up in our behavior. For faith consistently motivated by love, we must get it from God. African American Gospel singer William McDowell sings in his song, "I Give Myself Away," "Take my heart, take my life as a living sacrifice. All my dreams, all my plans, Lord, I place them in your hands. I give myself away . . . so you can use me."

Galatians 5:6 Amplified Bible talks about what God does through us when we receive Him that connects our faith and relationships, "For [if we are] in Christ Jesus, neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith activated and energized and expressed and working through love."

2.  Be an asset.

Properly connecting faith to relationships means we cooperate with God to avoid becoming consumed with our nuclear family to the exclusion of others.

Indira Gandhi became prime minister of India in 1966 after the death of her father, Jawaharlal Nehru. She began a mandatory program to sterilize the intellectually disabled and large populations of villagers resulting in more than seven million vasectomies. Many people in multiple countries are afraid of the fertility of the intellectually disabled and the poor because they want to limit being an asset to certain people.

Most people desire to live the best possible life connected to people in positive relationships. Malini Chib has cerebral palsy, is an author and is chairperson of Able Disable All People Together (ADAPT) whose headquarters are in Mumbai, India. Chib told Femina magazine regarding sex and the disabled, "We are treated as asexuals. I have had instances when I was told to hush up, as if it's an aberration to open up on the topic (of sex). We want society to be aware that we do have our yearnings."

God created us all with sexuality. Genesis 1:27 New Living Translation Bible says, "So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

Marriage is one way our sexuality is expressed. Sexual love doesn't have to end when we reach a certain age. Jack, a character in the romantic comedy Don Juan DeMarco, says to Marilyn, his wife of more than 30 years, "You have very, very beautiful eyes." Marilyn comments, "Come on. You know I have to go upstairs, and um I'm going to take my calcium so my bones don't break into little pieces, my aspirin so my heart doesn't clog up, my Metamucil so I don't get colon cancer, and of course my estrogen to convince my body that I'm still 23." Jack responds, "Come here." They kiss, and marital, senior sex ensues.

3.  Individuality.

God designed a unique life, faith and relationships for all of us that requires examination. Self-examination is not to nurture self-pity, superiority, guilt, envy or other negativity, but for improvement in our relationships with God, self and others. Galatians 6:4 Amplified Bible says, "But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor."

Some will question our life, faith and relationships, and try to make us fit their ideas for us. "You're a 40-year-old virgin. What's wrong with you?" "You've been divorced three times. What's wrong with you?" You have never been married and have five children by different partners. What's wrong with you?" You're a married couple. Why aren't you like the married couple with both spouses working full-time, co-parenting four children and participating in a home study to adopt a fifth? What's wrong with you?" Answer, "I'm incredible and improving. I don't have to be you or who you want me to be. My sins and my successes are in God's hands. I'm cooperating with God to be everything He designed me to be."

4.  Equality.

God designed the wonder of sexuality to be expressed within beautiful, loving, Biblical boundaries. Galatians 6:8 Amplified Bible says, "For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Some families take pride in and train their sons to have sex outside of marriage. He's considered a man if he has multiple lovers. However, their daughters are whores if they do likewise. The sexual double standard is from the devil. Follow God's program to train both men and women to save sexual acts for marriage while celebrating single sexuality and marital sexuality.

God uses male and female to create new life. New life is designed to be nurtured by both male and female. Yet most of our culture places the responsibility for parenting on the mother. Often when parenting is discussed what is really meant is motherhood. Many children are robbed of a relationship with dad or receive an incomplete relationship. Dads are designed to be in the circle of intimacy connecting with their children spiritually and emotionally. Dads can be true friends with their children. Read my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more.

When the Apostle Paul was writing to the churches in Galatia, some Christians had become religious renegades embracing following rules without loving relationships made possible by a life given over to God and lived through Him. What is the biggest and/or most frequent obstacle you experience in connecting relationships with your faith? You can leave an online comment and/or join my relationship group by contacting me at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.