Celebrate Life

Ebed-melech, an Ethiopian employee of the Hebrew King Zedekiah, didn't have to help the prophet Jeremiah, but he did (Jeremiah 38-39). Enemies of Jeremiah spoke to Zedekiah, so that Zedekiah had Jeremiah placed in a prison filled with mud. The Hebrew people were at war with Babylon, and little food and no water was available to Jeremiah in prison. Ebed-melech spoke to Zedekiah, and Zedekiah released Jeremiah from prison.

People like Ebed-melech and Chuck Wall speak up when others are wronged. One day in the spring of 1993 an anchorman commented on a bad situation, "Another random act of senseless violence." Chuck Wall, who is blind and a human relations instructor at a college in Bakersfield, California, heard the comment and was inspired to commit random acts of senseless kindness. Wall shared his idea with his students asking them to do something out of the ordinary to help someone and then to write an essay about it. He also decided to print bumper stickers that said: "Today, I will commit one random act of senseless kindness...Will you?" The idea caught on in Wall's community and spread internationally, so that today many are familiar with the phrase "random acts of kindness."

Kindness celebrates and reproduces life. Chuck Wall's kindness has helped other people. When Ebed-melech was kind to Jeremiah, God was kind to Ebed-melech. Jeremiah 39:15-18 Amplified Bible says, "Now the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah while he was [still] shut up in the court of the guard, saying, Go and say to Ebed-melech the Ethiopian, Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Behold, I will bring to pass My words against this city for evil and not for good; and they will be accomplished before you on that day. But I will deliver you [Ebed-melech] on that day, says the Lord, and you will not be given into the hands of the men of whom you are afraid. For I will surely deliver you; and you will not fall by the sword, but your life will be [as your only booty and] as a reward of battle to you, because you have put your trust in Me, says the Lord."

Perhaps Ebed-melech is one of the early believers who shared the news of an eternal, loving relationship with God with others in his native Ethiopia. Today Ethiopia is an African nation never conquered by a European nation in modern times and is a Christian-majority country that has been filled with Christians for centuries. 

Please share ways you celebrated life today. 

You Are Never Too Old

Sexual love doesn't have to end when we reach a certain age. Jack, a character in the romantic comedy Don Juan DeMarco, says to Marilyn, his wife of more than 30 years, "You have very, very beautiful eyes." Marilyn comments, "Come on. You know I have to go upstairs, and um I'm going to take my calcium so my bones don't break into little pieces, my aspirin so my heart doesn't clog up, my Metamucil so I don't get colon cancer, and of course my estrogen to convince my body that I'm still 23." Jack responds, "Come here." They kiss, and marital, senior sex ensues.

Abraham also enjoyed marital, senior sex. Abraham had his first child at 86 and seven more stretching well into his 100s.

In God's eyes age is just a number not a reason to stop living a full, enjoyable life advancing God's Kingdom through relationship building.

If you are not making frequent delicious with your spouse, contact a Bible teacher, Bible counselor, Christian sex therapist and/or Christian marriage counselor. God designed sexual relations for spouses to give and to receive enjoyment from each other while strengthening their marriage. Whether one screams out in passion, silently savors sex or is somewhere in between, marital sex is made for merriment. Solomon writes in Proverbs 5 The Message Bible, "Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don’t ever quit taking delight in her body."

Sex at 60 and beyond may not be the same as sex at 25, but then again it may be even better. Moses was married, and he was also in his right mind and healthy body up to death at 120. Imagine the sexual expertise and possibilities!

Please share something sweet about senior sexuality. Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina have been married 85 years (86 in May 2013) and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple. Zelmyra is 101 years old. Herbert is 104 years old. They have 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great grandchild.

How did the Fishers stay married so long? They are Christians who are good lovers and good friends. Solomon's Shulammite wife says about Solomon in Song of Solomon 5:16 New Living Translation Bible, "His mouth is sweetness itself, he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend."

A Good Chuckle Connects Us to Others

"May those who love us love us; and those who do not love us, may God turn their hearts, and if He cannot turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles that we may know them by their limping." -- Irish prayer

A little lightheartedness not taken too literally may produce laughter and lead to more connectedness with people in our circles of intimacy, friendship, participation and exchange. A lot of things in life can get us down especially on-going disagreements with family, friends and others. Staying down is the devil's playground. Believers build relationships in various ways through God. Nehemiah 8:10 New Living Translation Bible says, " . . . Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!"

A laugh or a chuckle can be a part of expressing the joy of the Lord. Genuine laughter has many benefits for our relationship with God, self and others. The following are nine benefits of a laugh or chuckle:

1) reduces stress

2) lowers blood pressure

3) elevates mood

4) boosts the immune system

5) improves brain functioning

6) protects the heart

7) connects us to God and people

8) fosters instant relaxation

9) makes us feel good.

Try to introduce laughter into your relationships several times a day. Helpful and healing laughter doesn't make people feel bad about themselves. 

God created each person unique. No two people have the same laugh. Laughter is not elicited from everyone in the same way. Sometimes we bomb sharing jokes, witticisms and other attempts at humor because we haven't thoroughly studied and appreciated the audience. Also "nunca llueve a gusto de todos" (it never rains to everyone's taste/you can't please everybody). But don't give up or get stuck. A Japanese proverbs says, "Fall down seven times, get up eight times." Keep on asking God to help you to inspire people to laugh or chuckle.

Please share an uplifting joke, witticism or other form of humor. Romans 14:17 Amplified Bible says, "[After all] the kingdom of God is . . .  righteousness (that state which makes a person acceptable to God) and [heart] peace and joy in the Holy Spirit."

Sexually Free

Religious leaders wanted to stone to death a woman caught in adultery (John 8). In response to the leaders Jesus Christ said, ". . . Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her," and to the woman He said, ". . . I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more."

Sexual freedom is found when we are free of condemnation and incorrect living, being led in a daily relationship with God. The religious leaders where trying to stone the woman based on texts such as Leviticus 18 and Deuteronomy 22 which discuss various sexual sins including the gay lifestyle. John 8 does not mention the man or woman who the woman was having sex with.

When Jesus implemented His earthly ministry more than 2,000 years ago He revealed the loving way to use the law. God loves us and tells us the way to live that will bring goodness and an enjoyable life for ourselves and others. Charlene Cothran is an African-American who was involved in gay-rights activism and lesbian relationships for nearly 30 years. God has been loving Cothran since way before she was born and was not content to allow her to live in darkness. God revealed Himself in a compelling way in 2006, and Cothran received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. The magazine, Venus, that she used to publish for gay rights is still being published but now is showing people how to come out of the homosexual and lesbian lifestyle and live a fulfilling and thrilling life in relationship with God. In addition to her magazine, Venus, Cothran is also a licensed and ordained international minister and has founded a ministry called The EVIDENCE Ministry, Inc. Cothran says about EVIDENCE, "God has shown me that people who no longer want homosexuality and other sexual brokenness in their lives need to see the EVIDENCE of change in those who are now made free by simply believing and applying the Word of God to daily life."

Love and courage are needed to confront people who choose to harm themselves and others. Jesus showed in John 8 that confrontation need not be violent or disrespectful or unloving.

God created our skin with delicate nerve endings that release into our bodies endorphins and oxytocin -- "feel good" chemicals. When a man and a man or a woman and a woman have sexual relations it feels good and is bonding.

Yet everything that feels good is not good. It also feels good to some to eat themselves into obesity. Obesity is a health hazard linked to multiple diseases including heart disease, diabetes and cancers. Homosexuality and lesbianism disfigure the beautiful sexuality that God created and in a marriage and family context denies the couple and the children the learning and appreciation of differences in a father and mother. 

Many have come out of the gay life in a similar way that many heterosexuals have come out of a lifestyle of practicing partner sex outside of marriage. Coming out of sexual sin is not simple and is often not a short-term process. Muchas personas han tenido que tragar sapos para estar saludables (Many people had to swallow toads (to go through hell) to be healthy." 

Please share testimonies of coming out of the homosexual or lesbian lifestyle and into a vibrant relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost.

Cothran says as a lesbian there were times of joy and also times of intense loneliness, but today freed from a gay life and found in relationship with God, she says, "The peace and joy that I have I wouldn't trade for anything."

Something Horrible Happened?

Psychologists say we are born with two instinctive fears: the fear of loud noises and the fear of being dropped. God is so good that even if our fear of hearing loud noises and of being dropped comes true we can still have an awesome life.

Mephibosheth was dropped as a five-year-old and became crippled in both feet as a result (2 Samuel 4). He was also crippled in his mind holding a "dead dog" self-image (2 Samuel 9).

But God arranged for Mephibosheth to eat at the king's table, live on royal land being served by Ziba, Ziba's 15 sons and 20 servants from adulthood to death.

If something horrible happens to you like being crippled in both feet or in your mind or something else, press through the fear, shock, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, depression and other negative emotions and go frequently and boldly to God asking Him for way more than you deserve or seems reasonable to live an awesome life in spite of misfortunes, challenges and differences.

Believers don't serve a miserly God who metes out cold justice. Our God loves extravagantly.

Sometimes in American culture we forget about loving people extravagantly and go to war over our misfortunes, challenges and differences. One example is the mommy wars. Whether we are mothers whose full-time work is to raise children like Pauletta Washington (wife of actor Denzel Washington) or mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners like Naomi Zacharias of Wellspring International, Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries or Cookie Lee of Cookie Lee Jewelry, we all have God-given purpose and roles in life. And this is also true for women who are complete and successful as singles without children like the first African-American female U.S. secretary of state, Condolezza Rice.

Many seem to have fear that if someone lives differently it is a threat to their lifestyle. Yet God created each one of us as unique. Even twins do not have the same fingerprint.

God didn't create us to be isolated and hostile but integrated and friendly. Mothers who raise their children full-time and mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners all need help raising their children. Sometimes we need the participation of more than fathers and other family members. Sheila Lirio Marcelo gave birth to her first son while in college. A few years later her parents emigrated to the United States from the Philippines and were helping with childcare when her father had a heart attack, suddenly switching from a childcare provider to one who needed care. Marcelo did not allow the fear, shock, pain and difficulty of the situation to keep her down indefinitely. She turned evil into good. Out of this horrible experience Marcelo created Care.com which provides services to find caregivers for typical and different children, seniors and pets. Care.com also helps with selecting tutors and housekeepers among other things.

Vive mas (live more). What ridiculous request have you asked of God in the face of fear and other negativity and found the path to awesome living?

Wealth and Relationships

When we are in love we move obstacles to learn everything we can about our loved one. God likes to be chased and loved in a certain, intense way. God likes for us to communicate with Him constantly and to read, study, mediate and live His Word, the Bible. Living the Bible includes loving God and people using and enjoying the material world God created without being consumed by it.

To be materially rich can be used for good, but many can't handle it and still keep a red-hot love affair going with God and people. Being poor is a problem because life can become consumed in survival leaving little time to nurture relationships with God and people. Middle class may be the balance most thrive in love of God and people while having material needs and many wants met. Agur writes in Proverbs 30:8-9 Amplified Bible, "Remove far from me falsehood and lies; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, Lest I be full and deny You and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor and steal, and so profane the name of my God."

Wealth is not wicked. Make sure that God has developed you to handle wealth. Nice things need a lot of attention. Denzel Washington is a rich man who works very, very hard and can handle his wealth in a way that permits his relationship with God and people to thrive. In addition to an Oscar-laden acting career spanning three decades Washington is also a Christian who has been married to Pauletta Washington for nearly 30 years. This couple has four children, John David, Katia, Malcolm and Olivia, who they taught to say their prayers every night and who they encouraged to discover their-God-given purpose by annually writing down five things they might want to do or be when they grow up.

If you can be rich in a vibrant relationship with God and people and in material wealth like Washington, praise God and keep on being a good and faithful servant. If not, praise God and keep on being a good and faithful servant in the way God has empowered you to be.  

What impact has material things had on your relationship with God and people?

One Is Not Enough

"Then Elkanah her husband said to her, Hannah, why do you cry? And why do you not eat? And why are you grieving? Am I not more to you than ten sons? (1 Samuel 1:8 Amplified Bible). Hannah loved her husband, Elkanah, and like all of us she was created for family and community. Consequently, a relationship with only one person would not meet her God-given relational needs and purpose. Hannah wanted to add a child to her family and community.

We are created with a desire and purpose for relationships with God and people whether we want to add a baby to our family like Hannah and/or add a spiritual baby to our spiritual family like the Apostle Paul who frequently went out preaching to people who had never heard about God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and God's desire for an eternal relationship with believers.

Believers seek relationships with new people and to make strangers friends. 1 Peter 4:9 Amplified Bible says, "Practice hospitality to one another (those of the household of faith). [Be hospitable, be a lover of strangers, with brotherly affection for the unknown guests, the foreigners, the poor, and all others who come your way who are of Christ’s body.] And [in each instance] do it ungrudgingly (cordially and graciously, without complaining but as representing Him)."

Some spouses and singles suck the life out of their relationships and fail to seek new relationships by trying to be and demanding that one person be the all-in-all to him or her for much of the 1,440 minutes in a day. God created us to need multiple friendships and relationships in varying degrees of intimacy. Chantal Sicile-Kira categorizes relationships in her article, "The Transition To Adulthood: Planning Ahead," for the magazine, Autism File, that is applicable to all people. She describes four circles of relationships:

1) The Circle of Intimacy includes those with whom we share our secrets, dreams and values. These are our best friends and are usually family members, but can and should also include others. We know and share a lot about what is going on in each others lives, our thoughts and feelings. We feel safe enough in these relationships to support each other spiritually and emotionally. Jesus encouraged intimate relationships beyond biology. Mark 3:33-35 New Living Translation Bible says, "Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

2) The Circle of Friendship includes friends or relatives whom we see for occasional social activities, such as for a movie or to eat a meal, but who are not our closest friends. The Bible records that Epaphras and Paul shared some time in jail and time spreading the Gospel, but not with the intensity and intimacy of the relationship between Timothy and Paul.

3) The Circle of Participation includes people who we participate with in our life, such as on the job, business or ministry, our place of worship, schools, sports teams, social clubs and other organizations. This circle contains people who may eventually be in the Circle of Friendship or even the Circle of Intimacy. We can socialize with members of our church, other churches and other groups. Luke 9:49-50 New Living Translation Bible says, "John said to Jesus, “Master, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn’t in our group.” But Jesus said, “Don’t stop him! Anyone who is not against you is for you.”"

4) The Circle of Exchange includes people who are paid to be in our lives, such as medical professionals,  counselors, governmental employees, sales associates, etc. These people can also be cultivated to move into the Circle of Participation, Circle of Friendship and even the Circle of Intimacy. Everyone is a potential friend. Matthew 28:18-20 the Message Bible says, "Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.""

The circles of exchange and participation are casual relationships. The circle of friendship are comfortable relationships with people who are not involved in the intimate details of our lives. The circle of intimacy contains our confidants.

All of us need to receive a relationship with God for eternal life and security that God offers to us for free. John 17:3 Amplified Bible says, "And this is eternal life: [it means] to know (to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand) You, the only true and real God, and [likewise] to know Him, Jesus [as the] Christ (the Anointed One, the Messiah), Whom You have sent."

We also need human friends. Jesus says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." Bishop Noel Jones and T.D. Jakes are believers in God and best friends. Jones is single. Jakes is married. They both also have other friends and children. The Holy Ghost living on the inside gives us the self-control to overcome the pride, insecurity and self-centeredness that demands excessive attention from someone and hinders us from expanding our relationships with God and people in the circles of exchange, participation, friendship and intimacy.

What are some ways you practice friendliness?