Frederick McKinley Jones and his boss, Joseph Numero, formed the U.S. Thermo Control Company after Jones perfected a truck refrigeration unit. Jones' refrigeration unit meant that fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy products, other food products, blood and medicines could now be shipped all over the country without spoiling.
Preservation is also important mentally and spiritually. The Epistle of Jude is written to creyentes (believers,) "to those who are called, sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ" (Bilingual Bible New King James Version.)
Once we receive a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost, God never lets go of us for all eternity. However, creyentes sometimes let go of God by sinning.
Dr. Derek Grier says in his sermon The Anatomy of a Shipwreck that lying seems good until no one trusts you anymore.
The sin of lying is common to singles and married people. Many married people lie to people who are not their spouse to get sex.
Why is it so hard to stay sexually satisfied inside marriage?
Since ancient times zi (the written word) has been revered among the Chinese. Have you tried Chinese pillow books to communicate better sexually with your spouse? Read my March 23, 2013, article "Have You Tried Chinese Pillow Books?"
Parents with awesome, affectionate, romantic, sexually sublime marriages are well positioned to talk to their children about sex. When parents have little or no sexual relationship, talking to their children about sex may inspire their children to think, "What do you know?;" "You aren't having fun and sexual sinners seem to be having fun." These children may decide to pursue sex outside of marriage.
We live in times when schools, the media and others cannot be relied upon to teach our children about sex. Many advocates exist who promote sex outside of marriage and adolescent autonomy from parents, family and the Christian faith.
Who we are on the inside shows up on the outside. Is the view attractive?
Attractive, awful and somewhere in between, "Orad sin cesar" (Biblia Bilingue Version Reina-Valera 1960.) "Pray without ceasing" (Bilingual Bible New King James Version.) God likes us to talk with Him; God is excited to stop us from spoiling our relationships.
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Novel Submission
"And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ," writes the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:20-21 New Living Translation Bible. These are verses that are violated in so many ways globally with men and women missing opportunities to help each other.
The New York Times February 27, 2013, article "Desperate Hunt for Day Care in Japan As More Women Work, a Shortage Poses a Threat to Economic Growth," implies that fathers and mothers are not equally participating in the rewards and responsibilities of parenthood, which is a global reality.
The article features the plight of Ayaka Okumura in trying to secure day care for her daughter, Ayane. Ayaka, a manager at an accounting firm, does all the hunting for day care, expresses fret that she did not time her pregnancy to put her name toward the top of day-care waiting lists and even wonders if she should have cut short her legally-guaranteed-one-year-maternity leave to better position herself on the day-care waiting lists, which for Japanese-government-subizied-day-care centers is more than 25,000 long and many private day care centers also have long waiting lists.
No where in the article does it talk about a one-year-legally-guaranteed-paternity leave for Ayane's father and Ayaka's husband, Masanori. A one-size-fits all, unequal, imbalanced approach to childcare puts a strain on marriage and parenting in Japan, America and other places. In America one-year of paid leave is not legally guaranteed. "Vive la difference!" is a French saying meaning, "Long live the difference (between the sexes)." Ayane and others like her are not receiving balanced input from their fathers and mothers denying these children the learning of the difference in the sexes and the enjoyment of a close relationship with both their fathers and mothers. Relationships require both quality and quantity time.
If two or more instead of one were working on child care, maybe Ayane could enjoy two years or more of being cared for by her parents instead of a day care center, and Ayaka, who says in the article, "I'm filled with so much worry, and completely spent," could rest more releasing inspiration for both her marriage with Masanori and her parenting of Ayane. Well-rested wives are more interested in sex than tired wives. Wouldn't it be nice for husbands and wives to sit face-to-face, hugging each other while engaging in deep vaginal penetration, kissing and eye contact on a frequent basis without fatigue?
What about a men's and women's movement pushing for one-year or more paid paternity leave? Some social rules need to be challenged by creative, courageous, compassionate people. A Hausa of West Africa riddle asks, "Why is a man like pepper?" Answer: "Until you have tested him, you can't tell how strong he is."
Long-term paid leave is good for singles, married people, everyone! Read my articles, "Paid Leave Please" and "Paid Leave is Good for Us."
Also two years or more of paid leave (one year or more for dad and one year or more for mom) is time to work on the heads and hearts of other family members to help with child care. Maybe Ayane and others like her would never have to go to day care before going to school?
The New York Times article says, "Almost 70 percent of Japan's social welfare spending is directed at people 65 or older, while less than 4 percent supports children and families, according to a government-affiliated research group." Elderly family can use some of their free time to help raise younger family. This is an investment that can pay dividends for eternity. International Christian ministers Dennis and Barbara Rainey say, "God designed the family to be a spiritual garden that grows flowers for today and seeds for tomorrow."
Besides day care and paid maternity leave, what are some novel ways to support marriages and raise children?
The New York Times February 27, 2013, article "Desperate Hunt for Day Care in Japan As More Women Work, a Shortage Poses a Threat to Economic Growth," implies that fathers and mothers are not equally participating in the rewards and responsibilities of parenthood, which is a global reality.
The article features the plight of Ayaka Okumura in trying to secure day care for her daughter, Ayane. Ayaka, a manager at an accounting firm, does all the hunting for day care, expresses fret that she did not time her pregnancy to put her name toward the top of day-care waiting lists and even wonders if she should have cut short her legally-guaranteed-one-year-maternity leave to better position herself on the day-care waiting lists, which for Japanese-government-subizied-day-care centers is more than 25,000 long and many private day care centers also have long waiting lists.
No where in the article does it talk about a one-year-legally-guaranteed-paternity leave for Ayane's father and Ayaka's husband, Masanori. A one-size-fits all, unequal, imbalanced approach to childcare puts a strain on marriage and parenting in Japan, America and other places. In America one-year of paid leave is not legally guaranteed. "Vive la difference!" is a French saying meaning, "Long live the difference (between the sexes)." Ayane and others like her are not receiving balanced input from their fathers and mothers denying these children the learning of the difference in the sexes and the enjoyment of a close relationship with both their fathers and mothers. Relationships require both quality and quantity time.
If two or more instead of one were working on child care, maybe Ayane could enjoy two years or more of being cared for by her parents instead of a day care center, and Ayaka, who says in the article, "I'm filled with so much worry, and completely spent," could rest more releasing inspiration for both her marriage with Masanori and her parenting of Ayane. Well-rested wives are more interested in sex than tired wives. Wouldn't it be nice for husbands and wives to sit face-to-face, hugging each other while engaging in deep vaginal penetration, kissing and eye contact on a frequent basis without fatigue?
What about a men's and women's movement pushing for one-year or more paid paternity leave? Some social rules need to be challenged by creative, courageous, compassionate people. A Hausa of West Africa riddle asks, "Why is a man like pepper?" Answer: "Until you have tested him, you can't tell how strong he is."
Long-term paid leave is good for singles, married people, everyone! Read my articles, "Paid Leave Please" and "Paid Leave is Good for Us."
Also two years or more of paid leave (one year or more for dad and one year or more for mom) is time to work on the heads and hearts of other family members to help with child care. Maybe Ayane and others like her would never have to go to day care before going to school?
The New York Times article says, "Almost 70 percent of Japan's social welfare spending is directed at people 65 or older, while less than 4 percent supports children and families, according to a government-affiliated research group." Elderly family can use some of their free time to help raise younger family. This is an investment that can pay dividends for eternity. International Christian ministers Dennis and Barbara Rainey say, "God designed the family to be a spiritual garden that grows flowers for today and seeds for tomorrow."
Besides day care and paid maternity leave, what are some novel ways to support marriages and raise children?
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Stern-Looking But Big-Hearted
Nothing and no one stops the love of God. This same love flowed out of Absalom Jones who was a slave of a merchant in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, into a slave named Mary King. Absalom married Mary on January 4, 1770, when he was 23.
Living in bondage is not what Absalom and Mary desired for their children. Under Pennsylvania law, children born to slaves would be slaves. Aristotle wrote that human beings are teleological, which means that we are purpose driven. So Absalom and Mary worked to earn enough money to purchase freedom. During the Revolutionary War Absalom worked until twelve or one o'clock at night to assist his wife.
But their hard work was not enough to buy freedom. So they asked everyone they could, friends, associates and strangers, for donations and loans to purchase Mary's freedom. That did it.
No one fulfills God's plan for her or his life alone. God calls all Christians to help as many people as God leads you to help. Philippians 4:5 the Message Bible says, "Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!"
It would have slowed down the advance of the Kingdom of God if people who God gave them the money and resources to help Absalom and Mary purchase their family's freedom decided to keep the resources to themselves. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 the Message Bible says, "Tell those rich in this world’s wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they’ll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life."
Hebrews 11:6 Amplified Bible says, "But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out]." God rewards faith with work. After eight years by 1778 Absalom paid back the loans given to him.
Stern-looking, but big-hearted Absalom was still a slave, but he continued to work to buy a house for his family. International Christian Minister Ravi Zacharias says, "The greatest compliment I can pay my wife is to let my children know that I love her the way Jesus loved the Church."
Finally, after seven more years Absalom was able to purchase his own freedom.
Please leave an on-line comment sharing notable African-American love stories.
Lovers like Absalom and Mary are the kind of people who founded the black church in America which was very active in assisting people with various needs. They also give us examples today of how to love our spouses.
Love opens up opportunites. Absalom went on to found the St. Thomas African Episcopal Church on July 17, 1794, and he became the first black American to become an ordained priest.
Living in bondage is not what Absalom and Mary desired for their children. Under Pennsylvania law, children born to slaves would be slaves. Aristotle wrote that human beings are teleological, which means that we are purpose driven. So Absalom and Mary worked to earn enough money to purchase freedom. During the Revolutionary War Absalom worked until twelve or one o'clock at night to assist his wife.
But their hard work was not enough to buy freedom. So they asked everyone they could, friends, associates and strangers, for donations and loans to purchase Mary's freedom. That did it.
No one fulfills God's plan for her or his life alone. God calls all Christians to help as many people as God leads you to help. Philippians 4:5 the Message Bible says, "Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!"
It would have slowed down the advance of the Kingdom of God if people who God gave them the money and resources to help Absalom and Mary purchase their family's freedom decided to keep the resources to themselves. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 the Message Bible says, "Tell those rich in this world’s wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they’ll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life."
Hebrews 11:6 Amplified Bible says, "But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out]." God rewards faith with work. After eight years by 1778 Absalom paid back the loans given to him.
Stern-looking, but big-hearted Absalom was still a slave, but he continued to work to buy a house for his family. International Christian Minister Ravi Zacharias says, "The greatest compliment I can pay my wife is to let my children know that I love her the way Jesus loved the Church."
Finally, after seven more years Absalom was able to purchase his own freedom.
Please leave an on-line comment sharing notable African-American love stories.
Lovers like Absalom and Mary are the kind of people who founded the black church in America which was very active in assisting people with various needs. They also give us examples today of how to love our spouses.
Love opens up opportunites. Absalom went on to found the St. Thomas African Episcopal Church on July 17, 1794, and he became the first black American to become an ordained priest.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Like Father, Like Daughter
Like father, like daughter -- Jane Matilda Bolin was the youngest of the four children of lawyer Gaius Charles Bolin who had his own legal practice and was the first black president of the Dutchess County Bar Association in New York state. Gaius was the first black American to graduate from Williams College. In 1939 at the age of 31 his daughter, Jane, became the first black American woman to become a judge of any court in the United States of America. She served as a judge for the Domestic Relations Court for 40 years in New York.
Jane in the image of her father reproduced many firsts. Jane was the first black American woman to graduate from Yale Law School where she had been the only black student and one of three women. She was also the first black American woman to join the New York City Bar Association and to join the New York City law department as Assistant Corporation Counsel.
This mother of Yorke Bolin Mizelle was also an activist for children's rights and education. Jane served on the boards of the National Urban League, the Child Welfare League and the NAACP. Not one to rest on her past accomplishments Jane also received honorary degrees from Morgan State University, Western College for Women, Hampton University, Williams College and Tuskeegee Institute.
Through her work Jane ended the assignment of probation officers on the basis of race. She also stopped the placement of children in childcare agencies on the basis of ethnic background.
Speaking on women's rights in 1958, Jane said, "We have to fight every inch of the way and in the face of sometimes insufferable humiliations."
Jane would not have been such a fighter if her daddy did not spend quantity and quality time training Jane. Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Children can be biological and/or spiritual. The Apostle Paul was a spiritual father to Pastor Timothy and many others. Please share on-line comments regarding people helped by your natural and/or spiritual training, especially father and daughter training success.
Family is part of the foundation of society. Gaius Charles Bolin had the integrity to train his daughter Jane Matilda Bolin. In his book, Trust: The Social Virtues and the Creation of Prosperity, philosopher Francis Fukuyama said that all societies could be divided into two kinds: "high-trust" and "low-trust." High trust societies encourage and respect integrity and are the most law-abiding, free and prosperous. Low-trust societies are characterized by tyranny, thievery, dishonesty and corruption. Low-trust societies are the most undemocratic and poor.
America's first president, George Washington, was famous for his honesty. Please leave an on-line comment sharing your opinion about the current state and future of the American family and society.
Jane in the image of her father reproduced many firsts. Jane was the first black American woman to graduate from Yale Law School where she had been the only black student and one of three women. She was also the first black American woman to join the New York City Bar Association and to join the New York City law department as Assistant Corporation Counsel.
This mother of Yorke Bolin Mizelle was also an activist for children's rights and education. Jane served on the boards of the National Urban League, the Child Welfare League and the NAACP. Not one to rest on her past accomplishments Jane also received honorary degrees from Morgan State University, Western College for Women, Hampton University, Williams College and Tuskeegee Institute.
Through her work Jane ended the assignment of probation officers on the basis of race. She also stopped the placement of children in childcare agencies on the basis of ethnic background.
Speaking on women's rights in 1958, Jane said, "We have to fight every inch of the way and in the face of sometimes insufferable humiliations."
Jane would not have been such a fighter if her daddy did not spend quantity and quality time training Jane. Proverbs 22:6 Amplified Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Children can be biological and/or spiritual. The Apostle Paul was a spiritual father to Pastor Timothy and many others. Please share on-line comments regarding people helped by your natural and/or spiritual training, especially father and daughter training success.
Family is part of the foundation of society. Gaius Charles Bolin had the integrity to train his daughter Jane Matilda Bolin. In his book, Trust: The Social Virtues and the Creation of Prosperity, philosopher Francis Fukuyama said that all societies could be divided into two kinds: "high-trust" and "low-trust." High trust societies encourage and respect integrity and are the most law-abiding, free and prosperous. Low-trust societies are characterized by tyranny, thievery, dishonesty and corruption. Low-trust societies are the most undemocratic and poor.
America's first president, George Washington, was famous for his honesty. Please leave an on-line comment sharing your opinion about the current state and future of the American family and society.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Disability and a Dynamic Life
No matter what life throws at us keep moving forward. Dr. Georgia L. McMurray was thrown Charcot-Marie-Tooth Atrophy, a neuromuscular, degenerative disease that left her completely paralyzed. She was physically disabled but not downcast in her outlook on life.
From her motorized wheelchair she continued her research as one of the nation's top educators and continued to advocate for families, children and the poor. She founded more than one organization over the course of her adult life. One such organization was the GLM Group which was a consulting firm that provided research, training and technical assistance to government and non-profit organizations working with families, children and the poor.
More than two decades ago Dr. McMurray founded Project Teen Aid to help teenage mothers and their babies excel in life. When Project Teen Aid was founded in 1966 teen moms where expelled from school because authorities thought this would help stem the spread of teenage motherhood. Dr. McCurray said that this practice would foster poverty, deny people the opportunity to connect behavior with outcomes and was discriminatory.
The devil tries to stop us with many things including disease. Dr. McMurray said often right up until her death at age 58, "I ask God for strength to continue the journey." Dr. McMurray was disabled, but she was not downcast and defeated. She took what God gave her and worked it for His glory. Acts 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "But you shall receive power (ability, efficiency, and might) when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea and Samaria and to the ends (the very bounds) of the earth."
Excellence should be an example that all Christians display. Dr. Derek Grier, who has battled severe illness in his life, writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom, "Actor Michael J. Fox made this statement, "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business. The most anyone can ever do in life is his or her very best. Sometimes we find that our best is not enough and in such moments all that we can do is trust God.
The King James Version Bible says in Psalm 138:8, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me." I do not know what Michael J. Fox believes about God, but he stated a biblical truth. All of us must make peace with the fact that we are less than perfect. But we must daily wage war against any notion that we should settle for being anything less than excellent."
Dr. McMurray had a short life dying at age 58, but it was a dynamic life. Former U.S. president Abraham Lincoln, who battled depression, said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." I imagine when Dr. McMurray met God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1 or like water which can be liquid, ice or steam) that He said something like Matthew 25:21 Amplified Bible which says, "His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys." Please leave an on-line comment with simple ways to describe the Trinity.
Please also share an on-line comment regarding excellence in persons who are mentally and/or physically disabled. I would love to tweet with you. My Twitter name is "Michelelove30." Please also recommend this article on Google.
In the United States, India and many countries of the world females and the disabled are aborted because they are females and/or disabled. In the novel, Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda, Kavita and Jasu are married. Shortly after Kavita gives birth to their first-born child, Jasu takes the child away and arranges to kill their baby girl through infanticide simply because the baby is a girl. When their second child is born Kavita conspires with her sister to defy Jasu and gives the girl to an orphanage. When Kavita is pregnant with their third child, Secret Daughter says, "A new medical clinic in the neighboring village offers ultrasounds to expectant mothers, ostensibly to check the health of the baby. But it is well known that those who go there do so to learn the gender of their unborn child. The procedure will cost two hundred rupees, a month's earnings from their crops, as well as a full day to make the journey. They will have to use all the money they've been saving for new farming tools, but despite the hardship, Kavita agrees. She knows if the test shows another girl growing in her womb, all of the possible outcomes are wrenching. Jasu can demand she have an abortion, right there at the clinic if they had the money. Or he could simply cast her out, forcing her to endure the shame of raising the child alone. She would be shunned, like the other beecharis in the village. But even this, becoming an outcast from her home and community, would not be as bad as the alternative. She cannot face the agony of giving birth, of holding her baby in her arms, only to have it taken away again. Kavita knows in her soul she simply will not survive that."
Please share an on-line comment about sex-selection abortion and abortion of the disabled.
Many babies are being aborted just because they have a disability, or two or more. With scientific progress perhaps many if not most of the disabilities that exist today will be healed in full in the future. Luke 1:37 Amplified Bible says, "For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment." In a test case in 2005 a man who had accidentally severed off his fingertip was able to regrow it entirely in four weeks! My son, Rafael Damani Fowler, has autism. We don't personally know of anyone who has been healed of autism, but maybe you do. Please leave an on-line comment about someone healed from autism or another disability.
From her motorized wheelchair she continued her research as one of the nation's top educators and continued to advocate for families, children and the poor. She founded more than one organization over the course of her adult life. One such organization was the GLM Group which was a consulting firm that provided research, training and technical assistance to government and non-profit organizations working with families, children and the poor.
More than two decades ago Dr. McMurray founded Project Teen Aid to help teenage mothers and their babies excel in life. When Project Teen Aid was founded in 1966 teen moms where expelled from school because authorities thought this would help stem the spread of teenage motherhood. Dr. McCurray said that this practice would foster poverty, deny people the opportunity to connect behavior with outcomes and was discriminatory.
The devil tries to stop us with many things including disease. Dr. McMurray said often right up until her death at age 58, "I ask God for strength to continue the journey." Dr. McMurray was disabled, but she was not downcast and defeated. She took what God gave her and worked it for His glory. Acts 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "But you shall receive power (ability, efficiency, and might) when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea and Samaria and to the ends (the very bounds) of the earth."
Excellence should be an example that all Christians display. Dr. Derek Grier, who has battled severe illness in his life, writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom, "Actor Michael J. Fox made this statement, "I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business. The most anyone can ever do in life is his or her very best. Sometimes we find that our best is not enough and in such moments all that we can do is trust God.
The King James Version Bible says in Psalm 138:8, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me." I do not know what Michael J. Fox believes about God, but he stated a biblical truth. All of us must make peace with the fact that we are less than perfect. But we must daily wage war against any notion that we should settle for being anything less than excellent."
Dr. McMurray had a short life dying at age 58, but it was a dynamic life. Former U.S. president Abraham Lincoln, who battled depression, said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." I imagine when Dr. McMurray met God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1 or like water which can be liquid, ice or steam) that He said something like Matthew 25:21 Amplified Bible which says, "His master said to him, Well done, you upright (honorable, admirable) and faithful servant! You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little; I will put you in charge of much. Enter into and share the joy (the delight, the blessedness) which your master enjoys." Please leave an on-line comment with simple ways to describe the Trinity.
Please also share an on-line comment regarding excellence in persons who are mentally and/or physically disabled. I would love to tweet with you. My Twitter name is "Michelelove30." Please also recommend this article on Google.
In the United States, India and many countries of the world females and the disabled are aborted because they are females and/or disabled. In the novel, Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda, Kavita and Jasu are married. Shortly after Kavita gives birth to their first-born child, Jasu takes the child away and arranges to kill their baby girl through infanticide simply because the baby is a girl. When their second child is born Kavita conspires with her sister to defy Jasu and gives the girl to an orphanage. When Kavita is pregnant with their third child, Secret Daughter says, "A new medical clinic in the neighboring village offers ultrasounds to expectant mothers, ostensibly to check the health of the baby. But it is well known that those who go there do so to learn the gender of their unborn child. The procedure will cost two hundred rupees, a month's earnings from their crops, as well as a full day to make the journey. They will have to use all the money they've been saving for new farming tools, but despite the hardship, Kavita agrees. She knows if the test shows another girl growing in her womb, all of the possible outcomes are wrenching. Jasu can demand she have an abortion, right there at the clinic if they had the money. Or he could simply cast her out, forcing her to endure the shame of raising the child alone. She would be shunned, like the other beecharis in the village. But even this, becoming an outcast from her home and community, would not be as bad as the alternative. She cannot face the agony of giving birth, of holding her baby in her arms, only to have it taken away again. Kavita knows in her soul she simply will not survive that."
Please share an on-line comment about sex-selection abortion and abortion of the disabled.
Many babies are being aborted just because they have a disability, or two or more. With scientific progress perhaps many if not most of the disabilities that exist today will be healed in full in the future. Luke 1:37 Amplified Bible says, "For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment." In a test case in 2005 a man who had accidentally severed off his fingertip was able to regrow it entirely in four weeks! My son, Rafael Damani Fowler, has autism. We don't personally know of anyone who has been healed of autism, but maybe you do. Please leave an on-line comment about someone healed from autism or another disability.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Robbing God and Our Family
"So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a bottle of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulders, and he sent her and the youth away. And she wandered on [aimlessly] and lost her way in the wilderness of Beersheba." -- Genesis 21:14 Amplified Bible
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Withholding Sex
". . . When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea" -- 1 Samuel 1:19 New Living Translation Bible
God doesn't correct every bad behavior in our earthly life. When Elkanah was having sex with his wife, Hannah, he was also having sex with his wife, Peninnah. Elkanah was in adultery because he was having sex with two women instead of one. God doesn't even say a word about adultery to Elkanah, Hannah or Peninnah that's recorded in the Bible.
Why? While God shares a lot of His thinking with us, He doesn't always in this earthly life tell us why He chooses to do things in a certain way.
Could anything be worse than one's husband having regular sex with another woman or man? It seems logical for a wife to withhold sex in this situation, but what is logical to human beings is not always logical or morally correct according to God. Withholding sex without God inspiring both husband and wife to do so is sin.
While Peninnah torments Hannah for not conceiving children, the Bible does not record Hannah, Peninnah and Elkannah trying to stop or control each others sexuality. They leave that up to God.
Stop using sex as a bargaining piece to obtain something. If you are married, except for illness that makes sex impossible or for brief periods of abstaining from sex for spiritual reasons, having regular sex inside of marriage is nonnegotiable. God created sex for bonding between husband and wife. Genesis 2:24-25 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other's presence." Dr. Iris Delgado of Crowned with Purpose ministry has been married for more than 40 years, is a grandmother and says, "When I say, mother's be vigilant, I mean just that. . . . Do not enable your husband to be tempted by your negligence at home, especially if weeks and months go by and there's no sex life between you."
Following the Bible way of frequent sex between a husband and a wife is a part of a happy, healthy, holy marriage. Biblical sex is holy, high praise and worship of God. Sex also releases chemicals that cause ecstasy. Being in the presence of God is ecstasy. The Joy of the Lord is our stength. Studies show that men who have sex five times weekly reduce their chance of prostate cancer.
Is there a link between sexless marriage, shame and cancer? Proverbs 12:4 Amplified Bible says, "A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 12:4 The Message says, "A hearty wife invigorates her husband, but a frigid woman is cancer in the bones."
Sex is sacred and secular. Secure and happy spouses give and receive 100 percent of oneself to the other one spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually and financially. Since God lives inside of Christians when husband and wife are having sex, they are also sharing God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit with each other as they are through other, multiple ways and words daily.
God inside of us was meant to be shared. A lack of emotional nakedness or any other type of nakedness between spouses causes shame.
Sin and shame go together because God designed us to do good. When we do wrong we are designed to experience shame. One spouse may falsely believe that he or she is holy by withholding sex that the other spouse desires to give and receive. "You must come to see that it is possible for a man to be self-centered in his self-denial and self-righteous in his self-sacrifice. He may be generous in order to feed his ego and pious in order to feed his pride. Man has the tragic capacity to relegate a heightening virtue to a tragic vice. Without love benevolence becomes egotism, and martyrdom becomes spiritual pride," says Martin Luther King, Jr.
Because Biblical love and sex are united when husband and wife have sex neither should be doing things to make someone feel less than a human being. Ecstatic, enthusiatic, expressive, excellent lovemaking between husband and wife is a part of the enjoyable, abundant life Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead in three days to give us. Satan doesn't want us to have fun and fulfillment in sex because he wants us to do things that are fatal to happiness. Happiness is from God. Harm is from Satan.
A spouse who chooses to withhold sex without the consent of the other spouse is cooperating with Satan to bring destruction and death into his or her marriage.
For example, say a wife is angry and hurt by the behavior of her husband and chooses to withhold sex until the husband meets her demands to stop, start and/or modify certain behaviors, and her husband does not agree to stop, start and/or modify certain behaviors. Her husband could respond by masterbating excessively and become addicted to excessive masterbation and even pornography. Pornography is a $57 billion-a-year, global industry worth more than major league football, baseball and basketball combined. Pornography continuously seeks out new customers. If pornography doesn't gain a foothold in his life, the husband may respond to his spouse who refuses to have sex as a form of punishment with some other bad behavior like excessive involvement in employment, church, friendships or something else. Even good things can be bad when they are out of balance or out of timing.
It is difficult but not impossible to choose Jesus' narrow way in conflicts. Sometimes someone says or does something that seems wrong, but it is not. My son, Rafael Damani Fowler, has autism. When he uses the toilet to defecate, he squats on the toilet. I never stopped him or insisted that he use the toilet the Western way of sitting on it to defecate because I am so happy that he uses the toilet. A lack of toilet use exists among some persons with autism. I always thought that he did this because he was intellectually disabled. However, his toilet technique is not an intellectual disability but an intellectual ability. The natural and instinctive way to use the toilet is to squat! Africa, Asia and many places use squat toilets. By squatting the capacity of our abodmens are reduced making it easier to expel poop. Rafael has a flat stomach and often horse-sized bowel movements.
Presume competence with all people to help with trying to understand another person's perspective and to resolve conflicts. Someone else's perspective may actually be better than ours, and if not, the other person, will feel comfortable with us and more open to change because we are treating him or her as intelligent and worth respecting and loving. Aim to please people in a godly way; one result is that they may want to please you. Humilated people or people hurt in some other way are more likely to be a hinderance to and even hurt back the person who hurt them.
When having conflict because one feels evil is being done against him or her, the proper response is Romans 12:21 New Living Translation Bible which says, "Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."
If someone is doing bad, we are not to do bad also. Come up higher and keep on doing increasing goodness. Your goodness in the midst of someone's badness is a witness for Christ. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
Goodness is also a witness to our spouses and other people.
Sexless, married couples prove to the world that they are servants of Satan or at the very least strongly under his influence.
Instead of expressing frustration about not getting "my way" through engaging in fights, arguments, punitive behavior, calling people bad names, belittling comments, degrading actions, etc., when someone believes something false, present the Truth. Then let go and let God reveal the Truth. We can't change people. That's God's job.
It takes 30 days to form a new habit. So if will probably take 30 days or longer to see the works of the Truth in a life particularly if a long history of bad behavior exists. "Honesty impels me to admit that such a stand will require willingness to suffer and sacrifice. So don't despair if you are condemned and persecuted for righteousness' sake. Whenever you take a stand for truth and justice, you are liable to scorn," says Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nevertheless, the beauty of love and sex will shine.
Sexuality is a foretaste of God in heaven.
God doesn't correct every bad behavior in our earthly life. When Elkanah was having sex with his wife, Hannah, he was also having sex with his wife, Peninnah. Elkanah was in adultery because he was having sex with two women instead of one. God doesn't even say a word about adultery to Elkanah, Hannah or Peninnah that's recorded in the Bible.
Why? While God shares a lot of His thinking with us, He doesn't always in this earthly life tell us why He chooses to do things in a certain way.
Could anything be worse than one's husband having regular sex with another woman or man? It seems logical for a wife to withhold sex in this situation, but what is logical to human beings is not always logical or morally correct according to God. Withholding sex without God inspiring both husband and wife to do so is sin.
While Peninnah torments Hannah for not conceiving children, the Bible does not record Hannah, Peninnah and Elkannah trying to stop or control each others sexuality. They leave that up to God.
Stop using sex as a bargaining piece to obtain something. If you are married, except for illness that makes sex impossible or for brief periods of abstaining from sex for spiritual reasons, having regular sex inside of marriage is nonnegotiable. God created sex for bonding between husband and wife. Genesis 2:24-25 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other's presence." Dr. Iris Delgado of Crowned with Purpose ministry has been married for more than 40 years, is a grandmother and says, "When I say, mother's be vigilant, I mean just that. . . . Do not enable your husband to be tempted by your negligence at home, especially if weeks and months go by and there's no sex life between you."
Following the Bible way of frequent sex between a husband and a wife is a part of a happy, healthy, holy marriage. Biblical sex is holy, high praise and worship of God. Sex also releases chemicals that cause ecstasy. Being in the presence of God is ecstasy. The Joy of the Lord is our stength. Studies show that men who have sex five times weekly reduce their chance of prostate cancer.
Is there a link between sexless marriage, shame and cancer? Proverbs 12:4 Amplified Bible says, "A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 12:4 The Message says, "A hearty wife invigorates her husband, but a frigid woman is cancer in the bones."
Sex is sacred and secular. Secure and happy spouses give and receive 100 percent of oneself to the other one spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically, sexually and financially. Since God lives inside of Christians when husband and wife are having sex, they are also sharing God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit with each other as they are through other, multiple ways and words daily.
God inside of us was meant to be shared. A lack of emotional nakedness or any other type of nakedness between spouses causes shame.
Sin and shame go together because God designed us to do good. When we do wrong we are designed to experience shame. One spouse may falsely believe that he or she is holy by withholding sex that the other spouse desires to give and receive. "You must come to see that it is possible for a man to be self-centered in his self-denial and self-righteous in his self-sacrifice. He may be generous in order to feed his ego and pious in order to feed his pride. Man has the tragic capacity to relegate a heightening virtue to a tragic vice. Without love benevolence becomes egotism, and martyrdom becomes spiritual pride," says Martin Luther King, Jr.
Because Biblical love and sex are united when husband and wife have sex neither should be doing things to make someone feel less than a human being. Ecstatic, enthusiatic, expressive, excellent lovemaking between husband and wife is a part of the enjoyable, abundant life Jesus Christ died and rose from the dead in three days to give us. Satan doesn't want us to have fun and fulfillment in sex because he wants us to do things that are fatal to happiness. Happiness is from God. Harm is from Satan.
A spouse who chooses to withhold sex without the consent of the other spouse is cooperating with Satan to bring destruction and death into his or her marriage.
For example, say a wife is angry and hurt by the behavior of her husband and chooses to withhold sex until the husband meets her demands to stop, start and/or modify certain behaviors, and her husband does not agree to stop, start and/or modify certain behaviors. Her husband could respond by masterbating excessively and become addicted to excessive masterbation and even pornography. Pornography is a $57 billion-a-year, global industry worth more than major league football, baseball and basketball combined. Pornography continuously seeks out new customers. If pornography doesn't gain a foothold in his life, the husband may respond to his spouse who refuses to have sex as a form of punishment with some other bad behavior like excessive involvement in employment, church, friendships or something else. Even good things can be bad when they are out of balance or out of timing.
It is difficult but not impossible to choose Jesus' narrow way in conflicts. Sometimes someone says or does something that seems wrong, but it is not. My son, Rafael Damani Fowler, has autism. When he uses the toilet to defecate, he squats on the toilet. I never stopped him or insisted that he use the toilet the Western way of sitting on it to defecate because I am so happy that he uses the toilet. A lack of toilet use exists among some persons with autism. I always thought that he did this because he was intellectually disabled. However, his toilet technique is not an intellectual disability but an intellectual ability. The natural and instinctive way to use the toilet is to squat! Africa, Asia and many places use squat toilets. By squatting the capacity of our abodmens are reduced making it easier to expel poop. Rafael has a flat stomach and often horse-sized bowel movements.
Presume competence with all people to help with trying to understand another person's perspective and to resolve conflicts. Someone else's perspective may actually be better than ours, and if not, the other person, will feel comfortable with us and more open to change because we are treating him or her as intelligent and worth respecting and loving. Aim to please people in a godly way; one result is that they may want to please you. Humilated people or people hurt in some other way are more likely to be a hinderance to and even hurt back the person who hurt them.
When having conflict because one feels evil is being done against him or her, the proper response is Romans 12:21 New Living Translation Bible which says, "Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good."
If someone is doing bad, we are not to do bad also. Come up higher and keep on doing increasing goodness. Your goodness in the midst of someone's badness is a witness for Christ. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples."
Goodness is also a witness to our spouses and other people.
Sexless, married couples prove to the world that they are servants of Satan or at the very least strongly under his influence.
Instead of expressing frustration about not getting "my way" through engaging in fights, arguments, punitive behavior, calling people bad names, belittling comments, degrading actions, etc., when someone believes something false, present the Truth. Then let go and let God reveal the Truth. We can't change people. That's God's job.
It takes 30 days to form a new habit. So if will probably take 30 days or longer to see the works of the Truth in a life particularly if a long history of bad behavior exists. "Honesty impels me to admit that such a stand will require willingness to suffer and sacrifice. So don't despair if you are condemned and persecuted for righteousness' sake. Whenever you take a stand for truth and justice, you are liable to scorn," says Martin Luther King, Jr.
Nevertheless, the beauty of love and sex will shine.
Sexuality is a foretaste of God in heaven.
10 Ways to Be Irresistible
God is irresistible. Are you? Check yourself against the following 10 irresistible qualities plucked from the Bible book of Colossians where the Apostle Paul pours out praise for God the Son Jesus Christ and encourages us to lean our entire personality on Him.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Something Horrible Happened?
Psychologists say we are born with two instinctive fears: the fear of loud noises and the fear of being dropped. God is so good that even if our fear of hearing loud noises and of being dropped comes true we can still have an awesome life.
Mephibosheth was dropped as a five-year-old and became crippled in both feet as a result (2 Samuel 4). He was also crippled in his mind holding a "dead dog" self-image (2 Samuel 9).
But God arranged for Mephibosheth to eat at the king's table, live on royal land being served by Ziba, Ziba's 15 sons and 20 servants from adulthood to death.
If something horrible happens to you like being crippled in both feet or in your mind or something else, press through the fear, shock, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, depression and other negative emotions and go frequently and boldly to God asking Him for way more than you deserve or seems reasonable to live an awesome life in spite of misfortunes, challenges and differences.
Believers don't serve a miserly God who metes out cold justice. Our God loves extravagantly.
Sometimes in American culture we forget about loving people extravagantly and go to war over our misfortunes, challenges and differences. One example is the mommy wars. Whether we are mothers whose full-time work is to raise children like Pauletta Washington (wife of actor Denzel Washington) or mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners like Naomi Zacharias of Wellspring International, Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries or Cookie Lee of Cookie Lee Jewelry, we all have God-given purpose and roles in life. And this is also true for women who are complete and successful as singles without children like the first African-American female U.S. secretary of state, Condolezza Rice.
Many seem to have fear that if someone lives differently it is a threat to their lifestyle. Yet God created each one of us as unique. Even twins do not have the same fingerprint.
God didn't create us to be isolated and hostile but integrated and friendly. Mothers who raise their children full-time and mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners all need help raising their children. Sometimes we need the participation of more than fathers and other family members. Sheila Lirio Marcelo gave birth to her first son while in college. A few years later her parents emigrated to the United States from the Philippines and were helping with childcare when her father had a heart attack, suddenly switching from a childcare provider to one who needed care. Marcelo did not allow the fear, shock, pain and difficulty of the situation to keep her down indefinitely. She turned evil into good. Out of this horrible experience Marcelo created Care.com which provides services to find caregivers for typical and different children, seniors and pets. Care.com also helps with selecting tutors and housekeepers among other things.
Vive mas (live more). What ridiculous request have you asked of God in the face of fear and other negativity and found the path to awesome living?
Mephibosheth was dropped as a five-year-old and became crippled in both feet as a result (2 Samuel 4). He was also crippled in his mind holding a "dead dog" self-image (2 Samuel 9).
But God arranged for Mephibosheth to eat at the king's table, live on royal land being served by Ziba, Ziba's 15 sons and 20 servants from adulthood to death.
If something horrible happens to you like being crippled in both feet or in your mind or something else, press through the fear, shock, disappointment, anger, unforgiveness, depression and other negative emotions and go frequently and boldly to God asking Him for way more than you deserve or seems reasonable to live an awesome life in spite of misfortunes, challenges and differences.
Believers don't serve a miserly God who metes out cold justice. Our God loves extravagantly.
Sometimes in American culture we forget about loving people extravagantly and go to war over our misfortunes, challenges and differences. One example is the mommy wars. Whether we are mothers whose full-time work is to raise children like Pauletta Washington (wife of actor Denzel Washington) or mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners like Naomi Zacharias of Wellspring International, Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries or Cookie Lee of Cookie Lee Jewelry, we all have God-given purpose and roles in life. And this is also true for women who are complete and successful as singles without children like the first African-American female U.S. secretary of state, Condolezza Rice.
Many seem to have fear that if someone lives differently it is a threat to their lifestyle. Yet God created each one of us as unique. Even twins do not have the same fingerprint.
God didn't create us to be isolated and hostile but integrated and friendly. Mothers who raise their children full-time and mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners all need help raising their children. Sometimes we need the participation of more than fathers and other family members. Sheila Lirio Marcelo gave birth to her first son while in college. A few years later her parents emigrated to the United States from the Philippines and were helping with childcare when her father had a heart attack, suddenly switching from a childcare provider to one who needed care. Marcelo did not allow the fear, shock, pain and difficulty of the situation to keep her down indefinitely. She turned evil into good. Out of this horrible experience Marcelo created Care.com which provides services to find caregivers for typical and different children, seniors and pets. Care.com also helps with selecting tutors and housekeepers among other things.
Vive mas (live more). What ridiculous request have you asked of God in the face of fear and other negativity and found the path to awesome living?
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Sex and the Disabled
God
created love and sex not only to praise and worship Him, but also for
the enjoyment and empowerment of the entire human race. Some try to stop
it, but the bold and the disabled are not stopped from the joy of love, sex and
children.
Disability rights activist Ed Roberts is paralyzed from the neck down. When he was a young person beginning to express interest in sex, some told him to give up on his dreams. But Ed turned his dreams into reality and now has a son conceived through sexual intercourse.
David Ring also did not listen to those who told him he wouldn't get married, have kids or preach because he has cerebral palsy. Ring got married, has four children and has preached to more than 6,000 churches internationally.
Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found people enjoy expanded physical prowess under the influence of sexual arousal. Kinsey discovered that a stutterer loses his stutter. A person with cerebral palsy gains greater control of their muscles.
Disability rights activist Ed Roberts is paralyzed from the neck down. When he was a young person beginning to express interest in sex, some told him to give up on his dreams. But Ed turned his dreams into reality and now has a son conceived through sexual intercourse.
David Ring also did not listen to those who told him he wouldn't get married, have kids or preach because he has cerebral palsy. Ring got married, has four children and has preached to more than 6,000 churches internationally.
Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found people enjoy expanded physical prowess under the influence of sexual arousal. Kinsey discovered that a stutterer loses his stutter. A person with cerebral palsy gains greater control of their muscles.
Some
do not have God-sized thinking when it comes to empowering the disabled
and others to live their dreams. Margaret Sanger was the founder of the
Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) and the International
Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF). As an activist in the birth
control and population control movements she advocated for the reduction
of births among blacks, other people of color, the disabled and those
of limited financial means. Planned Parenthood today is the largest
provider of abortions to blacks, other people of color, the disabled and
those of limited financial means. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader
Ginsburg in a July 2009 New York Times interview says, "Frankly
I had thought that at the time Roe was decided, there was concern about
population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don't
want to have too many of. So that Roe was going to be then setup for
Medicaid funding for abortion."
Snuffing out blacks, other people of color, the disabled or people from families of limited financial means is not the solution to challenges; the solution is to find ways to have all of the human race participating in society at each individual's highest capacity. If we care about people, then we will help them to live the best possible life. Abortion is the antithesis of compassion.
1) Love overcomes obstacles. Abortion is marketed as a cheap and easy solution to eliminate people who pose challenges to the quality of life whereas love is costly. Love is expensive, but it is also valuable and helpful for living the best possible life. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end] . . . . "
Anupa Iyer kept hope alive in spite of being placed in various voluntary and involuntary psychiatric institutions where anti-depressant medications left her unable to read, write or engage in conversations. Iyer finished law school and is currently working for the Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law in Washington, D.C.
2) Disability is an opportunity to open up abilities. Miracles often start with people asking, seeking and insisting on help. Never, never give up on finding a way out of the barriers disability encounters.
Our thinking can be the biggest barrier. Ask God to totally take over our thought process. Small-mindedness is a slippery slope to the status quo and to stagnancy. Cry out to God for the disabled like the father did in response to Jesus recorded in Mark 9:23-24 New Living Translation Bible, and expect to receive miracles: "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!""
Christian, Former U.S. four-term President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was disabled, and he fought to have the technology necessary to live the best possible life. Since he could not use his legs due to paralysis from polio, Roosevelt used hand controls to drive.
3) An abundant, enjoyable, full, overflowing life is for whosoever is willing to live in the ways of God. Disability does not have to stop someone from living a delightful, dynamic life. God welcomes all people to delightful, dynamic life. We can too. Christian, African American Marian Wright Edelman says, "When Jesus Christ asked little children to come to him, he didn't say only rich children, or White children, or children with two-parent families, or children who didn't have a mental or physical handicap. He said, "Let all children come unto me.""
Snuffing out blacks, other people of color, the disabled or people from families of limited financial means is not the solution to challenges; the solution is to find ways to have all of the human race participating in society at each individual's highest capacity. If we care about people, then we will help them to live the best possible life. Abortion is the antithesis of compassion.
1) Love overcomes obstacles. Abortion is marketed as a cheap and easy solution to eliminate people who pose challenges to the quality of life whereas love is costly. Love is expensive, but it is also valuable and helpful for living the best possible life. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end] . . . . "
Anupa Iyer kept hope alive in spite of being placed in various voluntary and involuntary psychiatric institutions where anti-depressant medications left her unable to read, write or engage in conversations. Iyer finished law school and is currently working for the Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law in Washington, D.C.
2) Disability is an opportunity to open up abilities. Miracles often start with people asking, seeking and insisting on help. Never, never give up on finding a way out of the barriers disability encounters.
Our thinking can be the biggest barrier. Ask God to totally take over our thought process. Small-mindedness is a slippery slope to the status quo and to stagnancy. Cry out to God for the disabled like the father did in response to Jesus recorded in Mark 9:23-24 New Living Translation Bible, and expect to receive miracles: "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes." The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!""
Christian, Former U.S. four-term President Franklin Delano Roosevelt was disabled, and he fought to have the technology necessary to live the best possible life. Since he could not use his legs due to paralysis from polio, Roosevelt used hand controls to drive.
3) An abundant, enjoyable, full, overflowing life is for whosoever is willing to live in the ways of God. Disability does not have to stop someone from living a delightful, dynamic life. God welcomes all people to delightful, dynamic life. We can too. Christian, African American Marian Wright Edelman says, "When Jesus Christ asked little children to come to him, he didn't say only rich children, or White children, or children with two-parent families, or children who didn't have a mental or physical handicap. He said, "Let all children come unto me.""
If
we are disabled or in a group some don't want too many if any of, God
wants us all and gave us sexuality, sex and the right to life and
reproduction for our joy and good.
Talk With God Throughout Today:
God, open opportunities for me and others to fully live the life You
called us to live. Cause me to see the opportunities you have provided
and to use them for your glory and the good of people.
Please leave a comment about the ways you or someone you know overcame disabilities.
Please leave a comment about the ways you or someone you know overcame disabilities.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)