Tie Me Up?

Mostly what God does is influence us instead of force us to change. Yet a lot of times conversely we try to change our spouses, family, friends and others by tying them up with ropes of intimidation, shame, blame, etc. Let's look at four ways God exerted influence recorded in John 8:1-11.

1) Some people will try to tie us up with the intimidation of screaming and/or drama. We can keep our influence -- our peace and wisdom -- in the midst of arguments. More than 2,000 years ago some religious leaders crashed Jesus Christ's class dragging in a woman caught in adultery and displaying her in plain view of the class. Jesus didn't display emotional upset or immediately speak. It's not that Jesus doesn't experience emotions -- He's the same one whose eyes flash like a flame of fire -- Jesus manages His emotions. He sought to slow down and cool down the exchange by stooping down to write on the ground. This gave Him and others time to contemplate what's happening. Then He could talk to God the Father for the resolution while allowing God the Holy Ghost to empower Him to implement it.

Jesus' pause models respect for people. It communicates, "I am smart. You are smart. We don't need to hurry up and make needless mistakes. Instead we recognize problems and are responsible enough to find ways to fix them." When we speak too fast we often say things that harm us and harm our relationships.

It's natural to think about the negative. It's spiritual to pause and meditate on the positive. A lot of arguments among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about.

Twitter.com is a neat social networking website where participants must whittle their wonderful words to a maximum of 140 characters. Those who "follow" you receive your writing posts on their smartphone or computer. So value and respect your spouse, family, friends and others with posts like, "U R so GR8 that God gave up His life, so that U could have the best life forever!" Let's tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," or we may chat through the social networking site Google's G+, or you may leave a comment at the bottom of this article.

If our attempts at frequent, fun, filling marital sex are frequently being met with, "I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," then perhaps we are saying and doing things to our spouse that communicate, "You aren't that important to me," "I really don't want to share my time by cultivating an intimate relationship with you and each of our children," "I just want to get my needs met," "I want to look good at all costs," etc.  All arguments are not hot. Some are cool or cold. Even comfortably numb marital connections are ripe for infidelity. Arguments need resolution. If we can't, someone else will!

Jesus' stooping pause is not incidental or accidental, but essential. Indian Mughal Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar sought rahi aql (the path of reason) in the late sixteenth century, but it can only be found effectively in Jesus. One of the ways Jesus changes people is by using reasoning to convince them that they are valuable people who have veered away from right reasoning, but through Him can veer into the best way of living. No matter what we have done, God doesn't disapprove of us. He loves us. He's tattooed a picture of us on the palm of His hand. He has pure motives in trying to persuade us to follow Him. James 3:17 Amplified Bible says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity)."

2) Persistent pestering is a tactic of those trying to tie us up with intimidation. Refuse to be abused; influence grows by keeping on doing good. The religious leaders were hoping that by trying to force Jesus to say something, He would flub.

Some act like a dragnet of dullness. If someone refuses to come to the truth with subtle modeling, then make it plain with respect. "They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"" (John 8:7 New Living Translation Bible).

The source of all arguments is sin. We all have sinned, are sinning and will sin. Some sins are deliberate; for believers as we grow in intimacy with God our sins are less deliberate and more unintentional. When we see sin, God designed believers to model Him humbly, not haughtily like the religious leaders, in seeking to assist someone in receiving a greater revelation of God.

If we never committed sexual adultery, it is not because we are so smart and strong; it is because God kept us out of situations that would have caused us to fall into sexual adultery. Cooperate with God to wipe off any smug sneers on our face when we catch someone in sin of any type. Galatians 6:1 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself."

3) When someone zealously attempts to tie someone else up with shame, the attacker is more interested in punishing people than allowing God to work through them to point people to the path of life which is love, truth, joy, all that is good. Compassion is influence.

Many of the religious people of Jesus' day do not come across as compassionate or confident people. They seemed to unknowingly have a mindset of, "I can't do anything right because I'm a bad person. So to make myself feel better I need to put down someone else. I need a lot of attention and patting on my back and places of honor to mask who I am."

Shame-based people will try to shoot others with shame attacks. Shame attacks are ineffective against shielded minds that simply shake them off with loving truth. Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible says, "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."
 
An illiterate, white student called black, Chicago, Illinois, teacher Marva Collins a "jungle bunny." Collins had not internalized shame about being black, a woman or a teacher. She responded to this sexist, racial slur with tender, humorous truth by saying she would take offense when her sweetheart learned to read, write and spell jungle bunny.

Jesus did not take offense to the attacks of the religious leaders. He did not internalize any shame about who He is as the Son of God or His competence in understanding and applying the Mosaic Law. Jesus was not an adulterer. He didn't want to be one. He didn't envy adulterers. With simplicity, expertise and authority He pointed out the principal problem of all those involved, and offered the solution to adultery. ". . . And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 Amplified Bible).

The woman caught in adultery was impressed, surprised and delighted that Jesus was not going to punish her, look down on her or harm her in any way. She was likely willing to leave adultery because someone really cares for her. The way we are wired is, "If you care for me, then I'll care for you, and the things you want me to do." The spiritual maturity of loving the unlovable is something we have to cooperate with God to display with the unlovable.

All sin ties us down. Loves cuts the ropes and releases us into the responsibility of following Jesus' enjoyable life engaged in love with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost and all people.

4) Some want to tie us up in blame for our sin while taking little or no responsibility for their sin. Influence is available by receiving God's blameless view of us and His power to resist sin forever. The religious leaders attacked the woman without having first dealt with their own sin, and they discriminated against her by trying to pin all the fault for adultery on her instead of equally on the man also involved who is totally missing from this drama. When Jesus encouraged the woman to sin no more Jesus is engaging her not only with Himself but also with the man she had sex with, the religious leaders and others. Jesus wants everyone to learn to have frequent, fun, filling sex inside of marriage and to learn to celebrate single sexuality without sexual sin. No matter how much some may try to present sexual sin as beautiful, sexual sin is the advocacy of loveless sex. Jesus is about marrying as many people as possible into God's family of love. Romans 12:5 Amplified Bible describes the family of love, "So we, numerous as we are; are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]."

Since God designed us to help each other, harmful ropes like blame need to be taken off our lives. Jesus Christ has already paid the price for all the blame, shame, false fear, adultery and sin we have ever done, are doing and will ever do. His death and resurrection in three days took care of this. If we receive Him, then we need not continue to receive harmful things like blame, shame, false fear, adultery that hurt us and our relationships now and if not dealt with will leave eternal damage. Romans 6:23 New Living Translation Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Tie me up? No thanks. Free in love forever is better. Please share an on-line comment about how Christ has set you free and/or participate in my relationship group by contacting me via email at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.