"Then Elkanah her husband said to her, Hannah, why do you cry? And why do you not eat? And why are you grieving? Am I not more to you than ten sons? (1 Samuel 1:8 Amplified Bible). Hannah loved her husband, Elkanah, and like all of us she was created for family and community. Consequently, a relationship with only one person would not meet her God-given relational needs and purpose. Hannah wanted to add a child to her family and community.
We are created with a desire and purpose for relationships with God and people whether we want to add a baby to our family like Hannah and/or add a spiritual baby to our spiritual family like the Apostle Paul who frequently went out preaching to people who had never heard about God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and God's desire for an eternal relationship with believers.
Believers seek relationships with new people and to make strangers friends. 1 Peter 4:9 Amplified Bible says, "Practice hospitality to one another (those of the household of faith). [Be hospitable, be a lover of strangers, with brotherly affection for the unknown guests, the foreigners, the poor, and all others who come your way who are of Christ’s body.] And [in each instance] do it ungrudgingly (cordially and graciously, without complaining but as representing Him)."
Some spouses and singles suck the life out of their relationships and fail to seek new relationships by trying to be and demanding that one person be the all-in-all to him or her for much of the 1,440 minutes in a day. God created us to need multiple friendships and relationships in varying degrees of intimacy. Chantal Sicile-Kira categorizes relationships in her article, "The Transition To Adulthood: Planning Ahead," for the magazine, Autism File, that is applicable to all people. She describes four circles of relationships:
1) The Circle of Intimacy includes those with whom we share our secrets, dreams and values. These are our best friends and are usually family members, but can and should also include others. We know and share a lot about what is going on in each others lives, our thoughts and feelings. We feel safe enough in these relationships to support each other spiritually and emotionally. Jesus encouraged intimate relationships beyond biology. Mark 3:33-35 New Living Translation Bible says, "Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
2) The Circle of Friendship includes friends or relatives whom we see for occasional social activities, such as for a movie or to eat a meal, but who are not our closest friends. The Bible records that Epaphras and Paul shared some time in jail and time spreading the Gospel, but not with the intensity and intimacy of the relationship between Timothy and Paul.
3) The Circle of Participation includes people who we participate with in our life, such as on the job, business or ministry, our place of worship, schools, sports teams, social clubs and other organizations. This circle contains people who may eventually be in the Circle of Friendship or even the Circle of Intimacy. We can socialize with members of our church, other churches and other groups. Luke 9:49-50 New Living Translation Bible says, "John said to Jesus, “Master, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn’t in our group.” But Jesus said, “Don’t stop him! Anyone who is not against you is for you.”"
4) The Circle of Exchange includes people who are paid to be in our lives, such as medical professionals, counselors, governmental employees, sales associates, etc. These people can also be cultivated to move into the Circle of Participation, Circle of Friendship and even the Circle of Intimacy. Everyone is a potential friend. Matthew 28:18-20 the Message Bible says, "Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.""
The circles of exchange and participation are casual relationships. The circle of friendship are comfortable relationships with people who are not involved in the intimate details of our lives. The circle of intimacy contains our confidants.
All of us need to receive a relationship with God for eternal life and security that God offers to us for free. John 17:3 Amplified Bible says, "And this is eternal life: [it means] to know (to perceive, recognize, become acquainted with, and understand) You, the only true and real God, and [likewise] to know Him, Jesus [as the] Christ (the Anointed One, the Messiah), Whom You have sent."
We also need human friends. Jesus says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." Bishop Noel Jones and T.D. Jakes are believers in God and best friends. Jones is single. Jakes is married. They both also have other friends and children. The Holy Ghost living on the inside gives us the self-control to overcome the pride, insecurity and self-centeredness that demands excessive attention from someone and hinders us from expanding our relationships with God and people in the circles of exchange, participation, friendship and intimacy.
What are some ways you practice friendliness?
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