An African proverb from Kenya and Ethiopia says, "Hasty marriages bring hasty divorces."
Sometimes we can fall in love and marry a fantasy. How many people thoroughly communicate their beliefs about spirituality, sex, money and other areas of life and seek to learn these from their potential spouse and his/her family before marriage?
Many people in America have participated in sex outside of marriage. Not everyone has the same beliefs about it. Some spouses are able to receive forgiveness from God for participating in sex outside of marriage, but they don't extend that forgiveness to their spouse and distrust their spouse for some or all of their marriage. Some spouses also misinterpret uninhibited sex as a sign of sexual infidelity. Many other marital, sexual misinterpretations and mistreatment goes on.
What precisely are your expectations of marriage?
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 7:12 Complete Jewish Bible, "“Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that sums up the teaching of the Torah and the Prophets."
Don't you want someone to understand and appreciate the real you? Wouldn't spouses, family and friends want likewise? Communication and compassion are critical.
While we can share a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost with whosoever, whosoever cannot be in our circle of intimacy.
Proverbs 18:22 Amplified Bible says, "He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." A true wife wants a true husband. A good marriage is the fellowship of two spiritually mature Christians who are continuously cooperating with God to change into His likeness.
Many people receive Christ, but refuse to grow in their relationship with Christ, themselves and other people. The Bible gives us the blueprint for living after having received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son and Messiah Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit. Joshua 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success." Some people want to succeed in their relationships and other areas of life, but they are not willing to do what it takes to succeed. Love includes discipline. Brian Tracy writes in his book No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline 21 Ways to Achieve Lasting Happiness and Success, "One of the most important requirements for success, once you have decided what it is that you want, is the quality of willingness. Successful people are willing to pay the price, whatever it is and for as long as it takes, until they achieve the results they desire. Everyone wants to be successful . . . . But most people are not willing to pay the price. Occasionally, they may be wiling to pay part of the price, but they are not willing to pay the whole price. They always hold back. They always have some excuse or rationalization for not disciplining themselves to do everything that they need to do to achieve their goals."
Many of the qualities we seek in a spouse are desirable for friends too. He Peirong is not married to Chen Guangcheng; they are friends and human rights activists. He Peirong was not one of Chen Guangcheng's first followers, but later she became a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China.
Standing up for human rights in China is a threat to one's own life and the lives of one's family and friends because China is not a free and open society. Making these decisions should not be done lightly neither should the decision to marry someone be made lightly.
Chen Guangcheng is the husband of Yuan Weijing and the father of a girl and a boy. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng, a self-taught lawyer who also helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures, lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
"Abre tu boca por el mudo en el juicio de todos los desvalidos," dice Proverbios 31:8 Biblia Bilingue Version Reina-Valera 1960. Proverbs 31:8 Bilingual Bible New King James Version says, "Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die."
Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini was setting up an orphanage and Christian house churches in Iran when Iranian authorities put him under house arrest in July 2012 separating him from his wife, Naghmeh Abedini, and their two children. In September 2012 they arrested him. In January 2013 Iranian authorities sentenced him to an eight-year prison sentence for threatening Iran's national security. The US State Department, US Secretary of State John Kerry and the European Union have all called for Pastor Saeed Abedini's release, and over 572,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending him support. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. In a February 18, 2013, letter to his wife, Pastor Abedini wrote about physical and psychological abuse inflicted on him to compel him to deny his faith in Jesus Christ. He also wrote of plans to persevere in his relationship with God and to share it with others: "There are empty containers who are thirsty for a taste of the Living Water and we can quench their thirst by giving them Jesus Christ."
Sometimes our relationships are difficult because we made wrong choices to enter certain relationships and/or wrong choices within the relationship. Other times our relationships are difficult because we are growing spiritually and are being attacked by the kingdom of darkness. No matter the reason for relationship difficulties, a beautiful hymn to sing that Abolitionist and Women's Rights Activist Sojourner Truth sang is:
"In my trials -- Lord walk with me.
In my trials -- Lord walk with me.
When my heart is almost breaking
Lord walk with me . . . "
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