If we see someone abusing drugs, and we have an unrenewed mind, we may lust to abuse drugs. If we have a renewed mind, we may have compassion for the person abusing drugs, pray for the person to be released from sin and secured in a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. God may even give us a revelation regarding how to intervene in the drug abuser's life to point him or her toward God's exuberant, enjoyable, eternal life and relationship.
Lust is a wrong way of thinking. It is self-absorption. It manifests an unwillingness to care for a person in a particular area. Lust can manifest itself in different ways in multiple people because different people have different thoughts and feelings in response to the same situation.
Lust may be sexual. As Rafael, my son, and I were walking several Sundays ago we saw a young adult wearing a T-shirt saying, "I just want to f-ck you" without the edit. I guess knowing a person's name or any other details is beyond his requirements to engage in sexual acts.
Sexual standards are low in our culture with many choosing to engage in sex after a first date or soon after. God promises that we will reap what we sow. Consequently, many of these relationships are doomed to die. Bradley Gerstman, Esquire, Christpher Pizzo, CPA, and Rich Seldes, MD, say in their book, What Men Want, "We do not recommend inviting a man into your house after the first date, nor do we recommend going to his house. . . . No man wants to think the woman of his dreams is promiscuous. . . . A good-night kiss on the lips, well given and well received, is the perfect end to the first date."
Lust is not just sexual. We can have an intense, inappropriate desire for anything.
God requires us to pay attention to our thought life. Our thoughts are who we are. We will act out many of our thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 Amplified Bible says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he . . ."
In America we live in a free society and will be exposed to many sights and other sensory stimuli that are not in agreement with Biblical principles. Many times we will not be able to avoid the stimuli, but believers have been given the mind of Christ and the Holy Spirit fruit of self-control to train our thinking to operate in alignment with God's thinking.
Some thoughts and stimuli are worth keeping. Others need to be pitched out. Romans 12:1-2 New Living Translation Bible says, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
While one can lust for sex, marital sex is not sinful. God celebrates sex. God encourages married couples to do it over and over again counseling them to copulate in way that is fruitful and multiplies. Also marital sex need not be the missionary every single time. Please read my article, "Novel Sex."
Some in sexless marriages need to simply shake off sin, choose to have sex often, then do it. The doing may create the desiring. L'Appétit vient en mangeant. (The more you get the more you want). Ed and Lisa Young wrote the New York Times best-selling book, Sexperiment, recommending that married couples try an experiment of seven consecutive days of sex to spice up and solidify their marriage relationship.
Please share ways to choose love instead of lust.
Showing posts with label Sexual Intimacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual Intimacy. Show all posts
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Fearless Sex
God designed spousal lovemaking to be un-self-conscious, unintimidated, fun and an essential part of forming a strong marital bond. Yet fearful sex is a big problem today among Christians and non-Christians despite the counsel of 2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible: "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."
In Song of Solomon neither Solomon nor his Shulammite wife express a fear of marital lovemaking. They do not express a fear of dry vaginas, limp penises, premature ejaculation, the possibility of a bad or disappointing sexual experience, body inadequacy, looking bad, comparisons to other sexual experiences or new sexual experiences. Solomon's and his wife's conversation about fruit and gardens is abrir la puerta (opening the door) to the idea that marital lovemaking is making delicious. They have stripped off all of the reproach of Egypt (slavery to sin) an upbringing that taught sex is nasty and shameful.
Martial sex is holy and righteous. Dr. Ken Leman writes in his book Sheet Music Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, "If he's imagining what another woman (besides his wife) looks like naked, or how good she'd be in bed, then yes, he's polluting his mind. But if he's imagining how good it would feel to rub massage oil all over his wife later that night while on his way to giving her a body-to-body massage, he's being as pure as an inner-city mission worker serving a bowl of soup to the homeless. Who is the giver of all good gifts? God. Sex is a gift from God and a commandment from God. When God tells us to be "fruitful and multiply," he's not talking about apples and cloning. He's talking about having sexual intercourse and giving birth to babies."
Fear focuses us in on our self and our limits instead of focusing on giving a joyful experience to our lover. Believers are givers. Instead of habitually saying and doing, "No, no, no" to new, adventurous, imaginative marital sex, why not habitually say and do, "Oui, oui, oui?"
Fear focuses in on a negative and irrational mindset. Being naked and close with someone is a very vulnerable position easily squashed by a lover who points out areas of our body where we need to lose weight or describes them in unflattering ways. Confidence is encouraged by a lover who expresses craving instead of cringing to taste, touch, look, smell and hear a favorable response to making delicious. Instead of worrying about the size of your behind for downward rear entry why not think my husband is getting a glorious view of curves as he enters your vaginal portal to paradise? Many men prefer buttocks over breasts, and many women are not concerned with the size of their lover's penis. God made our bodies fearfully and wonderfully. Think of sex sweat as the dew of love and arousal scents as the aroma of love. Neither Solomon nor his wife criticize their own body or their spouse's body. Solomon says to his wife in Song of Solomon 4:7 New Living Translation Bible, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way." The wife says to Solomon in Song of Solomon 1:16 New Living Translation Bible, "You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words! . . ." What words could you use to specifically describe your spouse's spectacular body?
Fast sex can be hot, but sometimes it's fear and a lack of self-control. Slowing down and savoring the experience is often better particularly for wives. No sense of rushing exists in Song of Solomon. These lovers seem to have all the time in the world to please each other.
Spouses, enjoy the whole experience of lovemaking in its many varieties of expression. No matter how much friction an orgasm doesn't always result from marital making delicious, and this can be wonderful too. Sex is more than an orgasm. Solomon says to his wife in Song of Solomon 4:11 New Living Translation Bible, "Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. . ." His wife says in Song of Solomon 2:3 New Living Translation Bible, "Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit."
If you are having partner sex and not married, being afraid is logical because you are sharing the most intimate part of you with someone who isn't committed to you. Singles, celebrate your body with God your Ishi (Husband). Gospel group Trinitee sings in their song "My Body," about sex outside of marriage, "I want to please my God . . . My body is the Lord's temple . . . What part of no don't you understand?"
Please share an on-line comment about making marital delicious and/or celebrating single sexuality.
In Song of Solomon neither Solomon nor his Shulammite wife express a fear of marital lovemaking. They do not express a fear of dry vaginas, limp penises, premature ejaculation, the possibility of a bad or disappointing sexual experience, body inadequacy, looking bad, comparisons to other sexual experiences or new sexual experiences. Solomon's and his wife's conversation about fruit and gardens is abrir la puerta (opening the door) to the idea that marital lovemaking is making delicious. They have stripped off all of the reproach of Egypt (slavery to sin) an upbringing that taught sex is nasty and shameful.
Martial sex is holy and righteous. Dr. Ken Leman writes in his book Sheet Music Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, "If he's imagining what another woman (besides his wife) looks like naked, or how good she'd be in bed, then yes, he's polluting his mind. But if he's imagining how good it would feel to rub massage oil all over his wife later that night while on his way to giving her a body-to-body massage, he's being as pure as an inner-city mission worker serving a bowl of soup to the homeless. Who is the giver of all good gifts? God. Sex is a gift from God and a commandment from God. When God tells us to be "fruitful and multiply," he's not talking about apples and cloning. He's talking about having sexual intercourse and giving birth to babies."
Fear focuses us in on our self and our limits instead of focusing on giving a joyful experience to our lover. Believers are givers. Instead of habitually saying and doing, "No, no, no" to new, adventurous, imaginative marital sex, why not habitually say and do, "Oui, oui, oui?"
Fear focuses in on a negative and irrational mindset. Being naked and close with someone is a very vulnerable position easily squashed by a lover who points out areas of our body where we need to lose weight or describes them in unflattering ways. Confidence is encouraged by a lover who expresses craving instead of cringing to taste, touch, look, smell and hear a favorable response to making delicious. Instead of worrying about the size of your behind for downward rear entry why not think my husband is getting a glorious view of curves as he enters your vaginal portal to paradise? Many men prefer buttocks over breasts, and many women are not concerned with the size of their lover's penis. God made our bodies fearfully and wonderfully. Think of sex sweat as the dew of love and arousal scents as the aroma of love. Neither Solomon nor his wife criticize their own body or their spouse's body. Solomon says to his wife in Song of Solomon 4:7 New Living Translation Bible, "You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way." The wife says to Solomon in Song of Solomon 1:16 New Living Translation Bible, "You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words! . . ." What words could you use to specifically describe your spouse's spectacular body?
Fast sex can be hot, but sometimes it's fear and a lack of self-control. Slowing down and savoring the experience is often better particularly for wives. No sense of rushing exists in Song of Solomon. These lovers seem to have all the time in the world to please each other.
Spouses, enjoy the whole experience of lovemaking in its many varieties of expression. No matter how much friction an orgasm doesn't always result from marital making delicious, and this can be wonderful too. Sex is more than an orgasm. Solomon says to his wife in Song of Solomon 4:11 New Living Translation Bible, "Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. . ." His wife says in Song of Solomon 2:3 New Living Translation Bible, "Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit."
If you are having partner sex and not married, being afraid is logical because you are sharing the most intimate part of you with someone who isn't committed to you. Singles, celebrate your body with God your Ishi (Husband). Gospel group Trinitee sings in their song "My Body," about sex outside of marriage, "I want to please my God . . . My body is the Lord's temple . . . What part of no don't you understand?"
Please share an on-line comment about making marital delicious and/or celebrating single sexuality.
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