Are You Playing Your Part Right?

Sometimes we are quick to put limits on ourselves and others because we focus on what someone cannot do. When God writes to husbands and wives, He doesn't say if you have autism or some other different mind, marriage is off limits for you.

Little by little marriage and romantic relationships for people with autism are being embraced in the media. Yesterday I saw an advertisement for a new book on romantic relationships for people with autism. One of my favorite movies is My Name Is Khan, which features the romance of Rizvan who has Asperger syndrome, a form of autism, and Mandira, who does not have autism.

God wants us to have good relationships. God made us the way we are on purpose. He designed our qualities to be developed instead of destroyed. Rizvan doesn't like touch. Rizvan and his mom find a way to negotiate hugs in a way that is mutually helpful. While Rizvan is not a Christian, finding a way to get along with people is. Romans 12:16 Amplified Bible says, "Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits."

Neither Rizvan's mom nor his wife try to takeover Rizvan and turn him into a duplicate of themselves. Sometimes in relationships the root source of conflict is trying to make people like us and doing what we want while failing to appreciate who they are and what they want. God made us different and with different desires.

Are our differences in line with the will of God? If not, we need to cooperate with God to correct our problems. If so, we are in position to be in harmony with and even help someone else.

Then we can ask are we willing to operate in the role God gave us to help others be what God called them to be? If we are and we do it, then playing our God-given role in romantic and other relationships removes a lot of conflict because we are building together instead of working against each other.