Loving By Example

Je vois la lumière. (I see the light.) Our eye needs to be first on the love of God, then on the love of people. When our eye is on, "Whose in charge?," often what comes is rule by the spirit of fear.

If we are afraid of someone, we cannot love them properly. We will spend a lot of energy figuring out how to protect ourselves instead of how to be the best we can in relationships. 1 John 4:18 Amplified Bible says, "There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection]."

Fear reduces creativity, productivity, rational thinking and concern for people. 2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible says, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

God does not want to keep tight control of us and force us to love Him and other people. He wants us to voluntarily love Him and people.

We love God because He first loved us. God knows the number of hairs on our heads and the minutest detail about us, not to keep us under His thumb, but because He cares about us, because He is good and because He seeks to bring about good. The more we come to know the love of God, the more we want to be like Him, be in relationship with Him and do what He says to do.

People cannot love perfectly like God. Even believers hurt each other a lot and become paralyzed in renewing relationships. Proverbs 18:19 New Living Translation Bible says, "An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars."

Instead of being paralyzed, living in fear or trying to control by fear, ask God to cause you to forgive, learn and grow in Him and His ways. When someone has changed, don't get stuck in the past and close yourself off to the relationship. Mark Twain says in his poem "Don't Copy Cat:"

"Don't, like the cat, try to get more out
of an experience than there is in it.
The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid,
Will not sit upon a hot stove lid again.
Nor upon a cold stove lid."