Some Southerners spread rumors that Frederick Douglass was never a slave because he spoke so well. Partly in response to these rumors, Douglass wrote his autobiography Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass that gave specific information about slave owners, slaves and places where his time in slavery happened. Under the Fugitive Slave Law Douglass, who left a slave state for a free one, could be returned to slavery. So Douglass left the United States and went to England.
In England he gave speeches against African-American slavery and in favor of Irish freedom, women's rights and world peace. Douglass made a lot of freedom-loving friends, but his heart was to be in America fighting primarily for the freedom of African Americans.
Proverbs 17:17 Complete Jewish Bible says, "A friend shows his friendship at all times — it is for adversity that [such] a brother is born." Douglass' English abolitionists friends purchased his freedom, so that Douglass would be safer from the Fugitive Slave Act.
We all need to welcome and live in a wide variety of relationships. Chantal Sicile-Kira categorizes relationships in her article, "The Transition To Adulthood: Planning Ahead," for the magazine, Autism File, that is applicable to all people. She describes four circles of relationships:
1) The Circle of Intimacy includes those with whom we share our secrets, dreams and values. These are our best friends and are usually family members, but can and should also include others. We know and share a lot about what is going on in each others lives, our thoughts and feelings. We feel safe enough in these relationships to support each other spiritually and emotionally. Jesus encouraged intimate relationships beyond biology. Mark 3:33-35 New Living Translation Bible says, "Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”
2) The Circle of Friendship includes friends or relatives whom we see for occasional social activities, such as for a movie or to eat a meal, but who are not our closest friends. The Bible records that Epaphras and Paul shared some time in jail and time spreading the Gospel, but not with the intensity and intimacy of the relationship between Timothy and Paul.
3) The Circle of Participation includes people who we participate with in our life, such as on the job, business or ministry, our place of worship, schools, sports teams, social clubs and other organizations. This circle contains people who may eventually be in the Circle of Friendship or even the Circle of Intimacy. We can socialize with members of our church, other churches and other groups. Luke 9:49-50 New Living Translation Bible says, "John said to Jesus, “Master, we saw someone using your name to cast out demons, but we told him to stop because he isn’t in our group.” But Jesus said, “Don’t stop him! Anyone who is not against you is for you.”"
4) The Circle of Exchange includes people who are paid to be in our lives, such as medical professionals, teachers, counselors, governmental officials, sales associates, auto mechanics, etc. These people can also be cultivated to move into the Circle of Participation, Circle of Friendship and even the Circle of Intimacy. Everyone is a potential friend/disciple. Matthew 28:18-20 the Message Bible says, "Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: "God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.""
Like Frederick Douglass had abolitionist friends who purchased his freedom, Chen Guangcheng has friends who helped him to obtain his freedom.
Chen Guangcheng is the husband of Yuan Weijing and the father of a girl and a boy. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night. His wife and daughter were living with him under house arrest. This family was prevented from meeting their wider family, including Chen Guangcheng's and Yuan Weijing's son, who lived elsewhere with an aunt.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong is a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng, a self-taught lawyer who also helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures, lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
Being able to spend the rest of life with a spouse is a privilege that can be plucked away at any time whether we are a US citizen or a citizen of another country. Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, has been in jail after using knives to fend off local officials who burst into Kegui's home after Guangcheng's escape. Kegui is married to Liu Fang. The couple have a young son, Chen Fubin.
"He (Chen Kegui) must be heavily injured, I'm worried about his physical state," Liu Fang said to Reuters reporter Sui-Lee Wee for her May 24, 2012, article "Brother of blind China activist flees village." Liu Fang also said about her husband and Guangcheng's nephew, "Inside, he might be subject to beatings."
Torture and other reprisals by Chinese authorities are happening to family and friends of Guangcheng since his escape from China to the US.
On April 24, 2013, Chen Kegui's mother, Ren Zongju, and Chen Kegui's uncle, Chen Guangjun, were told by Chinese authorities to answer questions about whether they “harbored a criminal” by helping Chen Kegui before his capture. Chen Guangjun is a bother of Chen Guangcheng
Chen Guangfu, another brother of Chen Guangcheng, told Chris Buckley of The New York Times for his April 24, 2013, article, "Chinese Officials Order Questioning of Exiled Activist’s Relatives, “I think that this is really about Guangcheng;” “I’ve heard that he spoke at the U.S. Congress and leveled accusations against officials. In my view, that infuriated them.”
Iranian authorities are infuriated by the Christian faith and works of Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini. Pastor Abedini was setting up an orphanage and Christian house churches in Iran when Iranian authorities put him under house arrest in July 2012 separating him from his wife, Naghmeh Abedini, and their two children. In September 2012 they arrested him. In January 2013 Iranian authorities sentenced him to an eight-year prison sentence for threatening Iran's national security. The US State Department, US Secretary of State John Kerry and the European Union have all called for Pastor Saeed Abedini's release, and over 573,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending him support. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. In a February 18, 2013, letter to his wife, Pastor Abedini wrote about physical and psychological abuse inflicted on him to compel him to deny his faith in Jesus Christ. He also wrote of plans to persevere in his relationship with God and to share it with others: "There are empty containers who are thirsty for a taste of the Living Water and we can quench their thirst by giving them Jesus Christ."
In another letter to his wife, Naghmeh Abedini, Pastor Saeed Abedini wrote, "... In the Bible we are all considered brothers and sisters despite our race, color or nationality."
Even though we have many Christians in America, not everyone is treated like a brother and sister. Please call Governor Mary Fallin at (405-521-2342) to ask her to sign into law HB 1403 The Nondiscrimination in Treatment Act of Oklahoma which protects the elderly, seriously ill and disabled by preventing medical providers from denying individuals life-saving treatment based on their quality of life.
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost welcomes all kinds of people and calls creyentes (believers) friends. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 8:11 English Standard Version Bible, "I tell you, many will come from east and west and recline at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven." He says in John 15:14 Amplified Bible, "You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendships. Show all posts
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Want More Confidants?
A good investment of time, talent and energy is to cultivate confidants. Paul and Timothy were confidants. Paul writes in Philippians 2:20-22 Amplified Bible, "For I have no one like him [no one of so kindred a spirit] who will be so genuinely interested in your welfare and devoted to your interests. For the others all seek [to advance] their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ (the Messiah). But Timothy’s tested worth you know, how as a son with his father he has toiled with me zealously in [serving and helping to advance] the good news (the Gospel)."
When selecting confidants, a good question to ask yourself is, "Who are they trying to pattern their life after?" Everybody is imitating others. According to an African saying, "A person is a person through other persons." Timothy and Paul were patterning their lives after God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Paul advised others to pattern their lives after him in the ways Paul was following God. The best you is the one who most reflects the God inside you on the outside.
Confidants who are imitating the same kind of people have a better chance of growing together instead of apart.
God says in Isaiah 49:16 Amplified Bible, "Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me." God loves believers and has their best interest at heart. Likewise Paul and Timothy love believers have have their best interest at heart.
When the love of God is present and being shared, confidants like Paul and Timothy enthusiastically do on-going, good deeds for each other and other people. Confidants with Christ living on the inside shouldn't have a reason to ask, "What have you done for me lately?"
The Chinese invented the fishing reel. As believers we want to be used by God to catch as many people as possible to bring them into a relationship with God. Not everyone caught can be our confidant. Confidentes son nuestros fieles amigos. (Confidants are our faithful friends.)
If you want more confidants or do not have confidants, ask God why and be willing to accept His answers and act on them according to His will and pleasure. A Kenya Bread for Tomorrow prayer says:
"Deliver Me
From the cowardice that dare not face new truths,
From the laziness that is contented with half truths,
From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Good Lord deliver me."
When selecting confidants, a good question to ask yourself is, "Who are they trying to pattern their life after?" Everybody is imitating others. According to an African saying, "A person is a person through other persons." Timothy and Paul were patterning their lives after God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Paul advised others to pattern their lives after him in the ways Paul was following God. The best you is the one who most reflects the God inside you on the outside.
Confidants who are imitating the same kind of people have a better chance of growing together instead of apart.
God says in Isaiah 49:16 Amplified Bible, "Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me." God loves believers and has their best interest at heart. Likewise Paul and Timothy love believers have have their best interest at heart.
When the love of God is present and being shared, confidants like Paul and Timothy enthusiastically do on-going, good deeds for each other and other people. Confidants with Christ living on the inside shouldn't have a reason to ask, "What have you done for me lately?"
The Chinese invented the fishing reel. As believers we want to be used by God to catch as many people as possible to bring them into a relationship with God. Not everyone caught can be our confidant. Confidentes son nuestros fieles amigos. (Confidants are our faithful friends.)
If you want more confidants or do not have confidants, ask God why and be willing to accept His answers and act on them according to His will and pleasure. A Kenya Bread for Tomorrow prayer says:
"Deliver Me
From the cowardice that dare not face new truths,
From the laziness that is contented with half truths,
From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,
Good Lord deliver me."
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Dreamboats Can Come from Places We Consider Down-And-Dirty
". . . Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Philip replied, Come and see!" -- John 1:46 Amplified Bible
When Nathanael asked Philip this question, Nazareth had such a bad reputation that it seemed no good person could come from there. Likewise some said don't go to Moab, because good people and good things did not come out of Moab. These places had a reputation for being down-and-dirty, yet some dreamboats -- Jesus Christ and Ruth -- came out of Nazareth and Moab.
Neither Jesus Christ nor Ruth were defined by their environments. Jesus and Ruth had their priorities in proper order. God was number one in both Jesus' life and Ruth's life.
Ruth's relationship with God and herself was secure enough that she was not defined by her biological family. When they were false worshipers, she had been given the grace of God to become and remain a true worshiper. Ruth left her family in Moab and journeyed to Israel to form a new family.
Ruth knew how to have good relationships with God, self and others. Ruth had an awesome relationship with herself. When Ruth made up her mind, others couldn't change it. Naomi tried to get Ruth to stay in the wrong place, but Ruth knew to move on from Moab to Israel.
Ruth loved herself without narcissism. She cultivated an awesome relationship with Naomi. Her good choices in relationships created opportunities for even more awesome relationships like her relationship with Boaz. The women of Ruth's community had such a high opinion of Ruth that they said Ruth was better to Naomi than seven sons.
Receiving a good name from ones community is a good thing. Proverbs 22:1 English Standard Version Bible counsels, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold."
A good name is not just for Jesus Christ and Ruth. Multiple people can have one. "If you don’t see the value of community it’s difficult for you to win," said Sonia Sotomayor during a colloquium with journalist Maria Hinojosa at the El Barrio Museum in Harlem, where she spoke about her autobiography My Beloved World. Sotomayor, 58, made history in 2009 when she was nominated by U.S. President Barack Obama to be the first Latino justice on the high court. She is of a Puerto Rican descent and grew up in modest means in Bronx, New York.
When someone like Jesus Christ or Ruth appears in our life, live out the attitude, "Come and see!" A gift will be waiting for us to open up and enjoy. The apostles enjoyed the Messiah. Naomi enjoyed being a grandmother to Ruth's son, Obed. Boaz enjoyed being a husband to Ruth. The women of Ruth's community enjoyed having her as a member.
Jesus Christ and Ruth stood out. They were different and divine. Jesus Christ is the Messiah. His people are joint-heirs with Jesus.
Perhaps you have met someone from a place like Nazareth or Moab? May you be wise enough not to dismiss or discriminate against him or her because he or she may be from a place with a reputation for being down-and-dirty.
Actually, all believers come from a down-and-dirty place of spiritual death; then one day God resurrected His people into an eternal relationship with Him. God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1) keeps on working with us to bring out more of the God inside.
Father God in the Precious Name of My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ empowered by the Holy Ghost, help us to recognize discrimination in ourselves. Empower us to love those who are different from us. Dreamboats can come out of down-and-dirty places.
When Nathanael asked Philip this question, Nazareth had such a bad reputation that it seemed no good person could come from there. Likewise some said don't go to Moab, because good people and good things did not come out of Moab. These places had a reputation for being down-and-dirty, yet some dreamboats -- Jesus Christ and Ruth -- came out of Nazareth and Moab.
Neither Jesus Christ nor Ruth were defined by their environments. Jesus and Ruth had their priorities in proper order. God was number one in both Jesus' life and Ruth's life.
Ruth's relationship with God and herself was secure enough that she was not defined by her biological family. When they were false worshipers, she had been given the grace of God to become and remain a true worshiper. Ruth left her family in Moab and journeyed to Israel to form a new family.
Ruth knew how to have good relationships with God, self and others. Ruth had an awesome relationship with herself. When Ruth made up her mind, others couldn't change it. Naomi tried to get Ruth to stay in the wrong place, but Ruth knew to move on from Moab to Israel.
Ruth loved herself without narcissism. She cultivated an awesome relationship with Naomi. Her good choices in relationships created opportunities for even more awesome relationships like her relationship with Boaz. The women of Ruth's community had such a high opinion of Ruth that they said Ruth was better to Naomi than seven sons.
Receiving a good name from ones community is a good thing. Proverbs 22:1 English Standard Version Bible counsels, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold."
A good name is not just for Jesus Christ and Ruth. Multiple people can have one. "If you don’t see the value of community it’s difficult for you to win," said Sonia Sotomayor during a colloquium with journalist Maria Hinojosa at the El Barrio Museum in Harlem, where she spoke about her autobiography My Beloved World. Sotomayor, 58, made history in 2009 when she was nominated by U.S. President Barack Obama to be the first Latino justice on the high court. She is of a Puerto Rican descent and grew up in modest means in Bronx, New York.
When someone like Jesus Christ or Ruth appears in our life, live out the attitude, "Come and see!" A gift will be waiting for us to open up and enjoy. The apostles enjoyed the Messiah. Naomi enjoyed being a grandmother to Ruth's son, Obed. Boaz enjoyed being a husband to Ruth. The women of Ruth's community enjoyed having her as a member.
Jesus Christ and Ruth stood out. They were different and divine. Jesus Christ is the Messiah. His people are joint-heirs with Jesus.
Perhaps you have met someone from a place like Nazareth or Moab? May you be wise enough not to dismiss or discriminate against him or her because he or she may be from a place with a reputation for being down-and-dirty.
Actually, all believers come from a down-and-dirty place of spiritual death; then one day God resurrected His people into an eternal relationship with Him. God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1) keeps on working with us to bring out more of the God inside.
Father God in the Precious Name of My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ empowered by the Holy Ghost, help us to recognize discrimination in ourselves. Empower us to love those who are different from us. Dreamboats can come out of down-and-dirty places.
10 Ways to Be Irresistible
God is irresistible. Are you? Check yourself against the following 10 irresistible qualities plucked from the Bible book of Colossians where the Apostle Paul pours out praise for God the Son Jesus Christ and encourages us to lean our entire personality on Him.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Relationship Building
In the Bible book of Philippians Paul was in prison. He faced opposition in sharing the the reality that God wants to forgive believers of our sins and share an eternal, loving relationship with Him. A relationship with God comes with His love. God uses His love in believers to draw other people into relationship with Him and us. In the midst of the strife that Paul was experiencing, he did not promote strife, but rather relationship building.
One of the things Paul did in Philippians chapter 2 was show appreciation for his friends in ministry, Timothy and Epaphroditus. Take regular time to show appreciation for your friends. This pleases God and encourages others to appreciate them.
One of the things Paul did in Philippians chapter 2 was show appreciation for his friends in ministry, Timothy and Epaphroditus. Take regular time to show appreciation for your friends. This pleases God and encourages others to appreciate them.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Friends See Things We Don't
Moses was a great leader for God. God selected Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery to the mighty Egyptian nation and into the wilderness to worship the Lord. Yet even great leaders are not perfect leaders.
We all need friends who have a relationship with God. God reveals, and friends see things that we don't that help us and others to experience better relationships and living. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law and friend, saw that Moses needed to assign some of his work to others, and he advised Moses to do so (Exodus 18).
Moses accepted the advice, and a whole nation experienced better relationships as a consequence. Leaders of thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens and the people of Israel lived more like what pleases God because many leaders used the talents God gave them to help people to hear the Word of God, to enter and to grow in relationship with God, to apply the Word of God to their lives and to resolve more disputes than what could be solved by one person thus encouraging more harmonious and intimate relationships with God and people.
What godly revelation has a friend seen in your life that improved a relationship?
We all need friends who have a relationship with God. God reveals, and friends see things that we don't that help us and others to experience better relationships and living. Jethro, Moses' father-in-law and friend, saw that Moses needed to assign some of his work to others, and he advised Moses to do so (Exodus 18).
Moses accepted the advice, and a whole nation experienced better relationships as a consequence. Leaders of thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens and the people of Israel lived more like what pleases God because many leaders used the talents God gave them to help people to hear the Word of God, to enter and to grow in relationship with God, to apply the Word of God to their lives and to resolve more disputes than what could be solved by one person thus encouraging more harmonious and intimate relationships with God and people.
What godly revelation has a friend seen in your life that improved a relationship?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
6 Ways to Forgive for Real
We can hear messages teaching us to forgive people year after year and still refuse to forgive. Why? We are unwilling and/or unable to stop making excuses. Many excuses exist. Let's look at six excuses. Then let's look at the truth and receive the truth to break free of the excuses sabotaging our lifestyle of forgiveness.
1) EXCUSE: "If they would treat me nice, then I would forgive them." TRUTH: No matter what someone does, we can forgive them. Jesus Christ did; He forgave those who were killing Him! Luke 23:33-34 Amplified Bible says, "And when they came to the place which is called The Skull [Latin: Calvary; Hebrew: Golgotha], there they crucified Him, and [along with] the criminals, one on the right and one on the left. And Jesus prayed, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they divided His garments and distributed them by casting lots for them."
Forgiveness helps many people including ourselves. Forgiveness gives the offending person over to God the Father and frees our mind from grudges and other negativity toward the person, toward ourselves and toward God. If we have grudges, then our mind is filled with hate instead of love.
We cannot give what we have not received. If we have a grudge instead of love in our mind, then we will give out the grudge instead of love further damaging our relationships with God, self and other people.
Every day someone will probably do something that we will need to forgive. We may respond like the Yiddish saying, "I complain, and I keep going." We may also respond by training ourselves to think thoughts like: "I keep chatting with God instead of spewing poisonous complaining;" "I keep chatting with God. He will teach me how to think, talk and act." Then chat away with God about our specific thoughts and relationships.
Sharing a lot about everything, every day with God helps us to get comfortable with God. God wants us to seek a relationship with Him that includes our true selves. Phoniness is painful and blocks openness, loving truth and intimacy. Matthew 6:7-13 the Message Bible says, "The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are. Set the world right; Do what's best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes."
2) EXCUSE: "They cut out my heart; I can't let go of what they did and are still doing." TRUTH: Love lets go of harmful thoughts, speech and behaviors. God says to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). Love includes spiritual and mental health. Sick people saturate their mind with passive, pessimistic, putrid unforgiving thoughts. A ministry friend of mine says, ". . . forgiveness is fertilizer for a crop of love." Proverbs 23:7 Amplified Bible says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." If we think unforgiving thoughts, then we will act in the hostility of unforgiving behaviors. Hostility is not the hallmark of believers; love is. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
People will hurt us frequently. God is able to heal the hurt each time, so that we keep on loving people. Healing can begin by talking to God about it. We can cooperate with God to cleanse our minds of wrong thinking. The past dynamics of a relationship do not stop us from doing good in the present. Learn from the past; don't live in it. Every day is new; we have a new opportunity to forgive. When we are not thinking, talking and acting in love, we are not like God, we are not being His agents of love in the earth realm. Love is central and essential to everyone and to everything at all times.
We like Jesus Christ may talk to God the Father and say, "Father, I place my life in your hands" (Luke 23:46 Message Bible). Our life is not our own. Hold back nothing. Release all control of our life into our loving and capable God. We don't know it all; God does. We can't do it all; God can. Cooperate with God to kill our unforgiving thoughts and behaviors, so that the love of God in us can arise and overflow onto others.
3) EXCUSE: Saying "We need to talk," or "Let's talk" while meaning "You did me wrong. I'm totally innocent. Now I'm going to straighten you out." TRUTH: Discussion grows with diversity of conversational topics shared delightfully while continuously doing the work with God and self to operate in forgiveness. Come out of the roles of stiff bore, bum, bitch, etc. Acknowledge, accept and admit our bad behavior while engaging in frequent conversation that contains more than correction. Examine ourselves against the Word of God: Are we irresistible or repulsive? Allow others to examine us to obtain the most objective truth. Receive the truth.
Many of the people crucifying Jesus Christ had no idea that He is God. While many hurt us intentionally, there are also many who hurt us and have no idea that they are hurting us. Everyone does not think alike. Everyone does not have the same understanding and approach to life.
Sometimes we want people to talk to us in a way that they are not currently capable of doing. To facilitate understanding we may try to operate like Krishna Menon who delivered a nine hour, non-stop speech at the United Nations.
Speak less. Listen and try to understand more. We may think we know the motivation behind a person's speech and behavior, but what we think we know may be false, and if not, then listening and trying to understand people shows we care about them and are loving. Proverbs 18:13 Amplified Bible says, "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts--it is folly and shame to him."
We are not always right. Presume competence in people. Empathy is essential to good relationships. Everyone has feelings even those who seem incapable of tenderness. Genghis Khan said about his divorce from Queen Ibaka completed for political reasons, "You have entered into my heart and limbs."
4) EXCUSE: "I can be and do good all by myself. I am strong enough. I don't need God to regularly forgive people." TRUTH: Anyone and anything has the potential to wear us out causing us to stop practicing forgiveness. Good relationships require continuous cooperation with God to implement continuous change. Sadly some people will only change a little because they are only willing to do a little work with God and others will not change at all because they refuse to cooperate with God, but we don't have to be one of them! Roman Empress Theodora I, wife of Emperor Justinian I, did not start out life as royalty. She spent time selling her sexual skills, became a Christian, and instead of sinking in remorse over sexual sin went on with her husband to grant extensive rights for women and to bring the Gospel to Africa. Theodora, which is Greek for "God's gift," had laws passed that prohibited forced prostitution and closed brothels. She created a convent where former prostitutes could support themselves and expanded the rights of women in divorce and property ownership, instituted the death penalty for rape, forbade exposure of unwanted infants and the killing of wives who committed adultery and gave mothers some guardianship rights over their children. Theodora and Justinian sent missionaries to sixth century Nubia which became a Christian African kingdom.
1) EXCUSE: "If they would treat me nice, then I would forgive them." TRUTH: No matter what someone does, we can forgive them. Jesus Christ did; He forgave those who were killing Him! Luke 23:33-34 Amplified Bible says, "And when they came to the place which is called The Skull [Latin: Calvary; Hebrew: Golgotha], there they crucified Him, and [along with] the criminals, one on the right and one on the left. And Jesus prayed, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they divided His garments and distributed them by casting lots for them."
Forgiveness helps many people including ourselves. Forgiveness gives the offending person over to God the Father and frees our mind from grudges and other negativity toward the person, toward ourselves and toward God. If we have grudges, then our mind is filled with hate instead of love.
We cannot give what we have not received. If we have a grudge instead of love in our mind, then we will give out the grudge instead of love further damaging our relationships with God, self and other people.
Every day someone will probably do something that we will need to forgive. We may respond like the Yiddish saying, "I complain, and I keep going." We may also respond by training ourselves to think thoughts like: "I keep chatting with God instead of spewing poisonous complaining;" "I keep chatting with God. He will teach me how to think, talk and act." Then chat away with God about our specific thoughts and relationships.
Sharing a lot about everything, every day with God helps us to get comfortable with God. God wants us to seek a relationship with Him that includes our true selves. Phoniness is painful and blocks openness, loving truth and intimacy. Matthew 6:7-13 the Message Bible says, "The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this: Our Father in heaven, Reveal who you are. Set the world right; Do what's best— as above, so below. Keep us alive with three square meals. Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others. Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil. You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes."
2) EXCUSE: "They cut out my heart; I can't let go of what they did and are still doing." TRUTH: Love lets go of harmful thoughts, speech and behaviors. God says to "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). Love includes spiritual and mental health. Sick people saturate their mind with passive, pessimistic, putrid unforgiving thoughts. A ministry friend of mine says, ". . . forgiveness is fertilizer for a crop of love." Proverbs 23:7 Amplified Bible says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." If we think unforgiving thoughts, then we will act in the hostility of unforgiving behaviors. Hostility is not the hallmark of believers; love is. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
People will hurt us frequently. God is able to heal the hurt each time, so that we keep on loving people. Healing can begin by talking to God about it. We can cooperate with God to cleanse our minds of wrong thinking. The past dynamics of a relationship do not stop us from doing good in the present. Learn from the past; don't live in it. Every day is new; we have a new opportunity to forgive. When we are not thinking, talking and acting in love, we are not like God, we are not being His agents of love in the earth realm. Love is central and essential to everyone and to everything at all times.
We like Jesus Christ may talk to God the Father and say, "Father, I place my life in your hands" (Luke 23:46 Message Bible). Our life is not our own. Hold back nothing. Release all control of our life into our loving and capable God. We don't know it all; God does. We can't do it all; God can. Cooperate with God to kill our unforgiving thoughts and behaviors, so that the love of God in us can arise and overflow onto others.
3) EXCUSE: Saying "We need to talk," or "Let's talk" while meaning "You did me wrong. I'm totally innocent. Now I'm going to straighten you out." TRUTH: Discussion grows with diversity of conversational topics shared delightfully while continuously doing the work with God and self to operate in forgiveness. Come out of the roles of stiff bore, bum, bitch, etc. Acknowledge, accept and admit our bad behavior while engaging in frequent conversation that contains more than correction. Examine ourselves against the Word of God: Are we irresistible or repulsive? Allow others to examine us to obtain the most objective truth. Receive the truth.
Many of the people crucifying Jesus Christ had no idea that He is God. While many hurt us intentionally, there are also many who hurt us and have no idea that they are hurting us. Everyone does not think alike. Everyone does not have the same understanding and approach to life.
Sometimes we want people to talk to us in a way that they are not currently capable of doing. To facilitate understanding we may try to operate like Krishna Menon who delivered a nine hour, non-stop speech at the United Nations.
Speak less. Listen and try to understand more. We may think we know the motivation behind a person's speech and behavior, but what we think we know may be false, and if not, then listening and trying to understand people shows we care about them and are loving. Proverbs 18:13 Amplified Bible says, "He who answers a matter before he hears the facts--it is folly and shame to him."
We are not always right. Presume competence in people. Empathy is essential to good relationships. Everyone has feelings even those who seem incapable of tenderness. Genghis Khan said about his divorce from Queen Ibaka completed for political reasons, "You have entered into my heart and limbs."
4) EXCUSE: "I can be and do good all by myself. I am strong enough. I don't need God to regularly forgive people." TRUTH: Anyone and anything has the potential to wear us out causing us to stop practicing forgiveness. Good relationships require continuous cooperation with God to implement continuous change. Sadly some people will only change a little because they are only willing to do a little work with God and others will not change at all because they refuse to cooperate with God, but we don't have to be one of them! Roman Empress Theodora I, wife of Emperor Justinian I, did not start out life as royalty. She spent time selling her sexual skills, became a Christian, and instead of sinking in remorse over sexual sin went on with her husband to grant extensive rights for women and to bring the Gospel to Africa. Theodora, which is Greek for "God's gift," had laws passed that prohibited forced prostitution and closed brothels. She created a convent where former prostitutes could support themselves and expanded the rights of women in divorce and property ownership, instituted the death penalty for rape, forbade exposure of unwanted infants and the killing of wives who committed adultery and gave mothers some guardianship rights over their children. Theodora and Justinian sent missionaries to sixth century Nubia which became a Christian African kingdom.
Theodora I helped women without hating men. Better than the love affair and marriage between celebrities Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher which ended in divorce is the love affair and marriage of Christians Justinian and Theodora, who is 20 years his senior, that ended in her death and his profuse weeping.
5) EXCUSE: "I am smart. I am informed. I know to forgive." TRUTH: Knowing and doing are separate. I haven't admitted to God and myself that I know to forgive, but I don't do it. Forgiveness is a lifestyle not an intellectual pursuit or a practice to be used selectively. Matthew 18:21-22 the Message Bible says, "At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven."
We even need to forgive those we do not like. Why let their behavior occupy our mind? South African political prisoner against apartheid who became the first democratically-elected South African president Nelson Mandela says, "It always seems impossible, until it is done."
6) EXCUSE: "I know to forgive, but this situation is too hard for me." TRUTH: While some things are too difficult for us by ourselves, we can receive God and His power to do the difficult. Receive and nurture a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. A relationship with God comes with the benefit of having the ability/power to forgive anyone and anything. Acts 1:6-8 the Message Bible says, "When they were together for the last time they asked, "Master, are you going to restore the kingdom to Israel now? Is this the time?" He told them, "You don't get to know the time. Timing is the Father's business. What you'll get is the Holy Spirit. And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world." Forgiveness is part of a Christian's witness. If we have God, we have the ability and power to forgive. God in us has to be cultivated. Don't be like Solomon who had Wisdom, but didn't always use it in his relationships with women.
Like God is Love, God is Forgiveness. God is who and what He is with everyone and everything. How good or how bad people are does not control God's person and behavior. It doesn't have to control ours either. Romans 5:7-11 New Living Translation Bible says, "Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God."
They cut my heart out or any other excuse to not forgive someone can be replaced by the Truth. God is able to give us a new heart filled with love for the lovable and unlovable. We have no excuses. Let go of a static, sinful view of our relationship with God and others. Clinging to excuses exposes a hard heart. Changing hearts is not a one-time event but a continuous relationship with God that overflows to people and every thing. Ezekiel 11:19 Amplified Bible says, "And I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God]."
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