Showing posts with label Infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Infidelity. Show all posts
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
Beauty Management
Joseph had an awesome appearance courtesy of the artwork of God. Watching art can be enjoyable. God wants us to enjoy a wide variety of things knowing that everything has to be managed. No one and no thing is to be more important to us than God. 1 John 5:21 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols (false gods)—[from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life]. Amen (so let it be)."
Potiphar and his wife were at one time Joseph's employers (Genesis 39.) Potiphar's wife liked God's artwork expressed in Joseph but not God's authority. Instead of following God's plan for pursuing partner sexual fulfillment in marriage, she pestered Joseph for sex outside of marriage.
A Yoruba of Nigeria proverb says, "May my outer head not spoil my inner head." Joseph didn't idolize his beauty. He repeatedly loved and respected God and God's rules. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 14:15 New Living Translation Bible, "If you love me, obey my commandments."
The Chinese invented the rudder. God does not give us rules without the power to steer our lives according to them. When we have a relationship with God, God comes to live inside creyentes (believers) giving us the power to do what He says.
Having God's power doesn't mean we will not struggle to use it. The struggle is easiest when we stay close to the Greatest Lover, God.
Potiphar and his wife were at one time Joseph's employers (Genesis 39.) Potiphar's wife liked God's artwork expressed in Joseph but not God's authority. Instead of following God's plan for pursuing partner sexual fulfillment in marriage, she pestered Joseph for sex outside of marriage.
A Yoruba of Nigeria proverb says, "May my outer head not spoil my inner head." Joseph didn't idolize his beauty. He repeatedly loved and respected God and God's rules. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 14:15 New Living Translation Bible, "If you love me, obey my commandments."
The Chinese invented the rudder. God does not give us rules without the power to steer our lives according to them. When we have a relationship with God, God comes to live inside creyentes (believers) giving us the power to do what He says.
Having God's power doesn't mean we will not struggle to use it. The struggle is easiest when we stay close to the Greatest Lover, God.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Marital Sexual Show And Tell
Ethiopia is sometimes called the land of eternal spring. Even though Ethiopia has the hottest place on earth most of the country has springtime temperatures throughout the year. Springtime is the beginning of new life. Each one of us starts out life in the winter of a propensity to do wrong. Everyone needs the spring of a new life. By receiving God the Son Jesus Christ as your Savior from sin and the Lord of your life, you also receive a new life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!"
Nigeria's constitution says part of the duty of a citizen is to "make positive and useful contributions to the advancement, progress and well-being of the community where he resides." Wherever creyentes (believers) live, we have a new life to do likewise. Having and doing are not always the same thing.
Some children rarely see their parents kiss, hug and display other signs of affection, friendship and marital sexual relations.
Most parents want their children who are called to marriage to have a good marriage. Yet some parents are not modeling a good marriage. A Chinese proverb says, "Binding your feet to prevent your own progress." A lack of married parental sexual show and tell allows someone else to show and tell children what sexual relations should be.
It's spiritual adultery not to have a loving, joyful, passionate marriage. Hebrews 13:4 Amplified Bible says, "Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous."
Sometimes people allow their marriages to become mediocre because they put too much energy into economic pursuits. Actor Denzel Washington has been married to Pauletta Washington for more than 30 years. The Washingtons are Christians. Denzel Washington says, "Acting is just a way of making a living, the family is life."
Nigeria's constitution says part of the duty of a citizen is to "make positive and useful contributions to the advancement, progress and well-being of the community where he resides." Wherever creyentes (believers) live, we have a new life to do likewise. Having and doing are not always the same thing.
Some children rarely see their parents kiss, hug and display other signs of affection, friendship and marital sexual relations.
Most parents want their children who are called to marriage to have a good marriage. Yet some parents are not modeling a good marriage. A Chinese proverb says, "Binding your feet to prevent your own progress." A lack of married parental sexual show and tell allows someone else to show and tell children what sexual relations should be.
It's spiritual adultery not to have a loving, joyful, passionate marriage. Hebrews 13:4 Amplified Bible says, "Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous."
Sometimes people allow their marriages to become mediocre because they put too much energy into economic pursuits. Actor Denzel Washington has been married to Pauletta Washington for more than 30 years. The Washingtons are Christians. Denzel Washington says, "Acting is just a way of making a living, the family is life."
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Would You Accept Infidelity?
Some want to side step clear cases of evil and allow the status quo to continue. Some examples of this are those who refused to speak out against American segregation and spouses of all generations who want their spouses to put up with their same-sex and/or opposite-sex infidelities, lying and other habitual sin attitudes and actions of "I want to feed my appetites with all my might, and I don't care if it's not right."
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:6 Amplified Bible, "Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be completely satisfied!"
A Rolling Stones laments "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." No one can find satisfaction outside of right standing with God. To thirst after righteousness, God has to deliver us from immersion in the immaturity of me, me, me.
True love is not isolationist neither is it perfectly social except when practiced by God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King Jr. while he was imperfect as is every other human being was not typical in that he had the kind of passionate love that permeated every area of his life.
Light, love, life are all names for God. When God comes to live inside a person, God commands us to cooperate with His process of kicking out licentiousness and other enemies of love. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:16 Amplified Bible, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven."
God wants us to love willfully, wonderfully, wholly. God is not about how little His creyentes (believers) who are reinas y reyes (queens and kings) can do to make many people's lives better, but how much. Jesus Christ is the Great Lover, and He is cultivating a kingdom family of great lovers.
More than 574,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending support to Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini who in January 2013 was sentenced by Iranian authorities to an eight-year prison sentence for "threatening the national security of Iran;" Pastor Abedini had been involved in setting up house churches in Iran and also an orphanage. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. Another good reason to sign the petition and/or write a letter is that Iran will be having elections in June and to continue to pressure the US State Department, the European Union and other countries and organizations to help free Pastor Saeed Abedini.
Have you prayed, signed the petition, wrote a letter or did something else to free Pastor Abedini, who is being tortured in an Iranian prison for his Christian faith?
No matter what abilities and disabilities we have God made us, loves us and respects the life of all people. Please call Governor Mary Fallin at (405-521-2342) to ask her to sign into law HB 1403 The Nondiscrimination in Treatment Act of Oklahoma which protects the elderly, seriously ill and disabled by preventing medical providers from denying individuals life-saving treatment based on their quality of life.
The devil does not like people with disabilities or any human being because we are made in the image of God, his arch enemy.
Chen Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, is a self-taught lawyer from China who helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night. His wife, Yuan Weijing, and daughter were living with him under house arrest. This family was prevented from meeting their wider family, including Chen Guangcheng's and Yuan Weijing's son, who lived elsewhere with an aunt.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong is a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
Since China's one-child policy was implemented in the 1970s more than 336 million babies have been killed by abortion; in America since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion 55 million babies have been killed.
Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, has been in jail after using knives to fend off local officials who burst into Kegui's home after Guangcheng's escape. Kegui is married to Liu Fang. The couple have a young son, Chen Fubin.
"He (Chen Kegui) must be heavily injured, I'm worried about his physical state," Liu Fang said to Reuters reporter Sui-Lee Wee for her May 24, 2012, article "Brother of blind China activist flees village." Liu Fang also said about her husband and Guangcheng's nephew, "Inside, he might be subject to beatings."
Torture and other reprisals by Chinese authorities are happening to family and friends of Guangcheng since his escape from China to the US one year ago.
On April 24, 2013, Chen Kegui's mother, Ren Zongju, and Chen Kegui's uncle, Chen Guangjun, were told by Chinese authorities to answer questions about whether they “harbored a criminal” by helping Chen Kegui before his capture. Chen Guangjun is a bother of Chen Guangcheng
Chen Guangfu, another brother of Chen Guangcheng, told Chris Buckley of The New York Times for his April 24, 2013, article, "Chinese Officials Order Questioning of Exiled Activist’s Relatives, “I think that this is really about Guangcheng;” “I’ve heard that he spoke at the U.S. Congress and leveled accusations against officials. In my view, that infuriated them.”
Reinas y reyes are called to infuriate the enemy of good relationships. 1 John 3:7-8 the Message Bible says, "So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth. It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah. Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways."
The devil has had his way in China with more Chinese baby boys and baby girls losing their lives to abortion than the combined total population of the United States of America and Australia! The devil has had his way in America with a baby losing his or her life every 30 seconds!
Christmas 1967, Martin Luther King, Jr. preached the following words: "Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. Every man is somebody because he is a child of God…Man is more than a tiny vagary of whirling electrons or a wisp of smoke from a limitless smoldering. Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won't exploit people, we won't trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won't kill anybody."
Talk to God, godly people and write a letter about forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China's one-child policy and human rights abuses of Chen Guangcheng's family and friends to:
Secretary of State John Kerry
US Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:6 Amplified Bible, "Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be completely satisfied!"
A Rolling Stones laments "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." No one can find satisfaction outside of right standing with God. To thirst after righteousness, God has to deliver us from immersion in the immaturity of me, me, me.
True love is not isolationist neither is it perfectly social except when practiced by God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King Jr. while he was imperfect as is every other human being was not typical in that he had the kind of passionate love that permeated every area of his life.
Light, love, life are all names for God. When God comes to live inside a person, God commands us to cooperate with His process of kicking out licentiousness and other enemies of love. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:16 Amplified Bible, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven."
God wants us to love willfully, wonderfully, wholly. God is not about how little His creyentes (believers) who are reinas y reyes (queens and kings) can do to make many people's lives better, but how much. Jesus Christ is the Great Lover, and He is cultivating a kingdom family of great lovers.
More than 574,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending support to Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini who in January 2013 was sentenced by Iranian authorities to an eight-year prison sentence for "threatening the national security of Iran;" Pastor Abedini had been involved in setting up house churches in Iran and also an orphanage. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. Another good reason to sign the petition and/or write a letter is that Iran will be having elections in June and to continue to pressure the US State Department, the European Union and other countries and organizations to help free Pastor Saeed Abedini.
Have you prayed, signed the petition, wrote a letter or did something else to free Pastor Abedini, who is being tortured in an Iranian prison for his Christian faith?
No matter what abilities and disabilities we have God made us, loves us and respects the life of all people. Please call Governor Mary Fallin at (405-521-2342) to ask her to sign into law HB 1403 The Nondiscrimination in Treatment Act of Oklahoma which protects the elderly, seriously ill and disabled by preventing medical providers from denying individuals life-saving treatment based on their quality of life.
The devil does not like people with disabilities or any human being because we are made in the image of God, his arch enemy.
Chen Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, is a self-taught lawyer from China who helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night. His wife, Yuan Weijing, and daughter were living with him under house arrest. This family was prevented from meeting their wider family, including Chen Guangcheng's and Yuan Weijing's son, who lived elsewhere with an aunt.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong is a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
Since China's one-child policy was implemented in the 1970s more than 336 million babies have been killed by abortion; in America since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion 55 million babies have been killed.
Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, has been in jail after using knives to fend off local officials who burst into Kegui's home after Guangcheng's escape. Kegui is married to Liu Fang. The couple have a young son, Chen Fubin.
"He (Chen Kegui) must be heavily injured, I'm worried about his physical state," Liu Fang said to Reuters reporter Sui-Lee Wee for her May 24, 2012, article "Brother of blind China activist flees village." Liu Fang also said about her husband and Guangcheng's nephew, "Inside, he might be subject to beatings."
Torture and other reprisals by Chinese authorities are happening to family and friends of Guangcheng since his escape from China to the US one year ago.
On April 24, 2013, Chen Kegui's mother, Ren Zongju, and Chen Kegui's uncle, Chen Guangjun, were told by Chinese authorities to answer questions about whether they “harbored a criminal” by helping Chen Kegui before his capture. Chen Guangjun is a bother of Chen Guangcheng
Chen Guangfu, another brother of Chen Guangcheng, told Chris Buckley of The New York Times for his April 24, 2013, article, "Chinese Officials Order Questioning of Exiled Activist’s Relatives, “I think that this is really about Guangcheng;” “I’ve heard that he spoke at the U.S. Congress and leveled accusations against officials. In my view, that infuriated them.”
Reinas y reyes are called to infuriate the enemy of good relationships. 1 John 3:7-8 the Message Bible says, "So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth. It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah. Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways."
The devil has had his way in China with more Chinese baby boys and baby girls losing their lives to abortion than the combined total population of the United States of America and Australia! The devil has had his way in America with a baby losing his or her life every 30 seconds!
Christmas 1967, Martin Luther King, Jr. preached the following words: "Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. Every man is somebody because he is a child of God…Man is more than a tiny vagary of whirling electrons or a wisp of smoke from a limitless smoldering. Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won't exploit people, we won't trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won't kill anybody."
Talk to God, godly people and write a letter about forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China's one-child policy and human rights abuses of Chen Guangcheng's family and friends to:
Secretary of State John Kerry
US Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Financial Infidelity
Psalm 18:25 New Living Translation Bible says, "To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity." We often receive what we give. Many of us desire transparency, trust and true love, but live contrary to our beliefs. Financial infidelity is rampant in marriages because we are not faithful in our management of finances which enables our spouses to be unfaithful. Common transparency and trust sins are failing to discuss and unite around financial values and goals, creating and maintaining an atmosphere of unequal knowledge about all family finances, hiding credit card statements, demanding bank statements for your-eyes-only via email, hiding paychecks, secret spending sprees, failing to appreciate each others money management styles, failing to create and cooperate with a mutually-agreed-upon money management system, etc. Prayer and asking God and ones spouse for forgiveness are a start to fixing financial infidelity.
Next empathize to enable understanding of a spouse who may have a different money management style from our own. We are not all motivated by the same things. Some of us are motivated by authority or attention. Others are motivated by acceptance or accuracy. God made us different because He likes diversity. We can learn about God by studying diversity. Cherish the God in your spouse instead of habitual criticizing.
Both men and women need to be well informed about money and financial issues. Some wives sin in leaving all or most of the responsibility for household finances with their husbands. It's a dangerous way to live with 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce and age 56 being the average age of widowhood.
Someone motivated by authority views money as power. They are highly productive, focused and hardworking. They always seem to have a vision. Having vision is godly. Proverbs 29:18 Amplified Bible says, "Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he." They have clear ideas to manage large budgets and large challenges and take large risks. They have to be careful to remember that personal relationships with people are just as important as the big vision. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 English Standard Version, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Someone motivated by attention views money as a way to connect with people and to create memories. They are very generous. Generosity is a way to expand the kingdom of God. Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible says, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)." They have to be careful not to overspend and to value savings and investments.
Someone motivated by acceptance desires to live in peace. They want simplicity and balance around money issues not living in the stress of spending more than a family makes. They value getting along with each other and cooperation. Romans 12:18 New Living Translation Bible says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." They need to make sure they confront money issues as needed and not pursue peace at any price.
Someone motivated by accuracy desires to follow a specific money management system. They are emotionally attached to a budget. If the budget is $100.00 a week for groceries; spending $110.00 will probably cause an argument. They are big on saving, loss prevention, planning, counting their money and assets and minimizing their liabilities. They like to be in the know, and don't like surprises. Proverbs 27:23 Amplified Bible says, "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your herds." God is for savings and investments and having more than enough. Psalm 33:7 Amplified Bible says, "He gathers the waters of the sea as in a bottle; He puts the deeps in storage places." Those motivated by accuracy have to be careful as they accumulate more financial resources not to place their security in resources instead of God. They also have to guard against stinginess. While we want to have more than enough, they have to sometimes remember spending and giving are good; money and financial resources are tools to be used for the glory of God in all areas of living.
After understanding and empathizing with our spouse comes seeking ways to cooperate and collaborate. View differences positively. Lose attitudes of superiority. Mutual respect and participation in money management are vital. God made each one of us unique, so our way of coming together in money management will be unique. Coming together involves:
praying,
forgiving,
brainstorming,
talking,
studying,
researching,
committing to each other and agreements and
meditating on the agreements to live them out daily.
Sometimes a spouse struggles to forgive a bankruptcy, large gambling debt, huge investment failure, a housing foreclosure, a job or business loss, a lack of job promotion or business growth or some other financial failure. Joyce Meyer writes in her book, Love Out Loud 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others, "Do you hold unforgiveness toward anyone for any reason? If so, it needs to be eliminated from your heart and mind right away because it's keeping you in bondage. You may be thinking, Well, Joyce, that's easy for you to say. You haven't been hurt like I have. That is true, but I have been hurt in life to a very deep degree. I was abused, abandoned, rejected, blamed, lied about, misunderstood, and betrayed by family and friends, and I allowed the enemy to fill my heart with hatred for those who hurt me. But when I began to learn about love, I moved from hatred to bitterness to mild resentment and finally to freedom, which only comes through forgiveness. The Lord graciously brought restitution into my life. God promises to bring justice into our lives and to give us a double reward for our former shame, pain, and unfair treatment (See Isa. 61:7). When we try to bring justice ourselves through vengeful acts, we only prevent God from working on our behalf."
Money challenges are not always the result of negative life experiences. When a spouse retires before age 50, starts a business, inherits a large sum of money and/or property or some other significant, positive, financial experience, the other spouse may experience feelings of jealousy, envy, resentment and/or other negative emotions and attitudes. All emotions and attitudes impact the atmosphere in a marriage. Proverbs 14:30 Amplified Bible says, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 27:4 Amplified Bible says, "Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, but who is able to stand before jealousy?"
Money and other financial issues can be very difficult to discuss. Be sure to rely on the Holy-Spirit-given fruit of self-control and the wisdom of our Christ mind to manage our emotions. Ravi Zacharias counsels in his sermon, "Divided Heart, Divided Home," "But if good advice is to be effective. It should be timed rightly." Converse at times that are convenient for both members of the couple. Lynn Toler says in her book, Making Marriage Work New Rules For An Old Institution, "If you think of communication as the Superman of relationships, Right Now is Kryptonite. Right Now is when the issue first arises. Right Now is when you are mad. Right Now is when the hurt you feel about what he or she has done is felt for the first time. Right Now is good for arguments, catharses, and contention. Right Now is almost never amenable to a conversation."
It also doesn't hurt to create a calming environment for conversation. Perhaps putting on Lonnie Plaxico's Melange jazz album, or one of your favorite albums, or whatever it is that you both enjoy and find edifying for conversation. The little things that show you took the time and effort to know what pleases a person can really communicate love. Dr. Derek Grier writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom Insight In An Instant, "John Maxwell, an expert on gaining personal influence, states, "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." In other words, before you attempt to direct, you must connect."
If financial infidelity has visited our home, living according to Biblical principles will encourage financial infidelity to leave as an unwelcome guest.
Next empathize to enable understanding of a spouse who may have a different money management style from our own. We are not all motivated by the same things. Some of us are motivated by authority or attention. Others are motivated by acceptance or accuracy. God made us different because He likes diversity. We can learn about God by studying diversity. Cherish the God in your spouse instead of habitual criticizing.
Both men and women need to be well informed about money and financial issues. Some wives sin in leaving all or most of the responsibility for household finances with their husbands. It's a dangerous way to live with 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce and age 56 being the average age of widowhood.
Someone motivated by authority views money as power. They are highly productive, focused and hardworking. They always seem to have a vision. Having vision is godly. Proverbs 29:18 Amplified Bible says, "Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he." They have clear ideas to manage large budgets and large challenges and take large risks. They have to be careful to remember that personal relationships with people are just as important as the big vision. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 English Standard Version, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Someone motivated by attention views money as a way to connect with people and to create memories. They are very generous. Generosity is a way to expand the kingdom of God. Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible says, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)." They have to be careful not to overspend and to value savings and investments.
Someone motivated by acceptance desires to live in peace. They want simplicity and balance around money issues not living in the stress of spending more than a family makes. They value getting along with each other and cooperation. Romans 12:18 New Living Translation Bible says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." They need to make sure they confront money issues as needed and not pursue peace at any price.
Someone motivated by accuracy desires to follow a specific money management system. They are emotionally attached to a budget. If the budget is $100.00 a week for groceries; spending $110.00 will probably cause an argument. They are big on saving, loss prevention, planning, counting their money and assets and minimizing their liabilities. They like to be in the know, and don't like surprises. Proverbs 27:23 Amplified Bible says, "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your herds." God is for savings and investments and having more than enough. Psalm 33:7 Amplified Bible says, "He gathers the waters of the sea as in a bottle; He puts the deeps in storage places." Those motivated by accuracy have to be careful as they accumulate more financial resources not to place their security in resources instead of God. They also have to guard against stinginess. While we want to have more than enough, they have to sometimes remember spending and giving are good; money and financial resources are tools to be used for the glory of God in all areas of living.
After understanding and empathizing with our spouse comes seeking ways to cooperate and collaborate. View differences positively. Lose attitudes of superiority. Mutual respect and participation in money management are vital. God made each one of us unique, so our way of coming together in money management will be unique. Coming together involves:
praying,
forgiving,
brainstorming,
talking,
studying,
researching,
committing to each other and agreements and
meditating on the agreements to live them out daily.
Sometimes a spouse struggles to forgive a bankruptcy, large gambling debt, huge investment failure, a housing foreclosure, a job or business loss, a lack of job promotion or business growth or some other financial failure. Joyce Meyer writes in her book, Love Out Loud 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others, "Do you hold unforgiveness toward anyone for any reason? If so, it needs to be eliminated from your heart and mind right away because it's keeping you in bondage. You may be thinking, Well, Joyce, that's easy for you to say. You haven't been hurt like I have. That is true, but I have been hurt in life to a very deep degree. I was abused, abandoned, rejected, blamed, lied about, misunderstood, and betrayed by family and friends, and I allowed the enemy to fill my heart with hatred for those who hurt me. But when I began to learn about love, I moved from hatred to bitterness to mild resentment and finally to freedom, which only comes through forgiveness. The Lord graciously brought restitution into my life. God promises to bring justice into our lives and to give us a double reward for our former shame, pain, and unfair treatment (See Isa. 61:7). When we try to bring justice ourselves through vengeful acts, we only prevent God from working on our behalf."
Money challenges are not always the result of negative life experiences. When a spouse retires before age 50, starts a business, inherits a large sum of money and/or property or some other significant, positive, financial experience, the other spouse may experience feelings of jealousy, envy, resentment and/or other negative emotions and attitudes. All emotions and attitudes impact the atmosphere in a marriage. Proverbs 14:30 Amplified Bible says, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 27:4 Amplified Bible says, "Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, but who is able to stand before jealousy?"
Money and other financial issues can be very difficult to discuss. Be sure to rely on the Holy-Spirit-given fruit of self-control and the wisdom of our Christ mind to manage our emotions. Ravi Zacharias counsels in his sermon, "Divided Heart, Divided Home," "But if good advice is to be effective. It should be timed rightly." Converse at times that are convenient for both members of the couple. Lynn Toler says in her book, Making Marriage Work New Rules For An Old Institution, "If you think of communication as the Superman of relationships, Right Now is Kryptonite. Right Now is when the issue first arises. Right Now is when you are mad. Right Now is when the hurt you feel about what he or she has done is felt for the first time. Right Now is good for arguments, catharses, and contention. Right Now is almost never amenable to a conversation."
It also doesn't hurt to create a calming environment for conversation. Perhaps putting on Lonnie Plaxico's Melange jazz album, or one of your favorite albums, or whatever it is that you both enjoy and find edifying for conversation. The little things that show you took the time and effort to know what pleases a person can really communicate love. Dr. Derek Grier writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom Insight In An Instant, "John Maxwell, an expert on gaining personal influence, states, "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." In other words, before you attempt to direct, you must connect."
If financial infidelity has visited our home, living according to Biblical principles will encourage financial infidelity to leave as an unwelcome guest.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
10 Ways to Be Irresistible
God is irresistible. Are you? Check yourself against the following 10 irresistible qualities plucked from the Bible book of Colossians where the Apostle Paul pours out praise for God the Son Jesus Christ and encourages us to lean our entire personality on Him.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Teresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather serving everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
God wants us to be clear about loving Him, ourselves and others. Ephesians 5:17 Amplified Bible says, "Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is." Vague people do not live in victory. They are not using time effectively. "El vago trabaja doble." ("The vague works double.")
The vague are susceptible to soaking in the beliefs and attitudes of others instead of being wielded by God to sway others with the love and goodness of God. The vague are nothing like Viktor Frankl. Adolph Hitler's Gestapo arrested this 26-year-old Jewish psychiatrist in Vienna, Austria, and forced him into a concentration camp. Month in and month out without the end in sight, Frankly worked under the huge smokestacks that belched out black carbon monoxide from the incinerators where his father, mother, sister and wife had been cremated. Each day Frankl hoped for a few slivers of carrots or peas in the daily bowl of soup. Nevertheless, the extreme Eastern European cold couldn't stop Frankl from getting up an hour earlier than usual to wrap his feet and legs in scrap burlap and wire to protect them from frostbite. When Frankl was called for inquisition, he stood naked in the center of a white light while men in shiny boots hour after hour assailed him with questions and accusations trying to break him down with every accusing lie they could think of. Already they had taken his wife, his family, his writing, his clothes, his wedding ring and everything else of material value. But in the midst of this barrage of questions, God flashed an idea across Frankl's mind: "They have taken from me everything I have--except the power to choose my own attitude."
As believers not even the Gestapo should be able to persuade us to adopt evil attitudes because we have a powerful resource living on the inside. 1 John 4:4 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
Some of the simplest things start great relationships and help them to keep going well. George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon "The Power of a Smile," "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Mary Landis and Judson Landis write in their book Building a Successful Marriage, "The most important characteristic of a marriageable person is the habit of happiness." Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project recently released the latest “State of Our Unions” report. The December 11, 2012, issue of The New York Times Magazine says the National Marriage Project examined the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women, and "Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one’s spouse freely and abundantly” — like simply making them coffee in the morning — and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners. How often did they express affection? How willing were they to forgive? The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy” in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50 percent reported being “very happy” together. Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14 percent claimed to be “very happy."
Marriage can be happy and absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Stubborn can be bad or good. Being immovable in Christ is not bad stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness and ungodly fear to change what needs to be changed. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
We are also interconnected with other people. "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." (Tell me with whom you associate, and I'll tell you who you are.")
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Many hate hypocrisy. Also not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating and enables the decline and even destruction of relationships. Proverbs 17:9 Amplified Bible says, " He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity and/or getting stuck in situations God had empowered you to get out off sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Also God made each person unique. Why do we tend to try to make everyone the same? Red and black are among my favorite colors. I remember sharing that I would consider a wedding dress in these colors. That really set off some peoples alarms!
Maybe I should have been born Chinese? Red (hong) is the color of fire. Red symbolizes success, happiness and good luck. Red is the color of celebration at birthdays and weddings. Black (hei) is the color of water. It symbolized heaven.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times. Also many people do not wait at least three years after their divorce to heal from the dissolution of their marriage before entering another relationship in a state of brokenness.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her cheeks, neck and breasts; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more you appreciate her uniqueness, the more aroused she gets; the more she shares sublime sex with you. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment. Many men are plagued by insecurities. The biggest erogenous zone is the mind.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage outside the bedroom.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed for the good and enjoyment of yourself and others. God is for pleasure. David says about God is Psalm 16:11 Amplified Bible, "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people. Believers are extravagant lovers.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others too had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction. God didn't create us for selfishness. He created us to serve.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things. The devil is a liar: marriage and family are fun and fulfilling, not boring and/or oppresive.
Sometimes people embrace the lies of the devil due to ignorance and inconsideration. John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by cooperating with God to learn how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Sonya Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, told Jane E. Brody for the artice "That Loving Feeling Takes a Lot of Work" in the New York Times newspaper on January 14, 2013, that she encourages each marriage partner to ask himself or herself each morning, “What can I do for five minutes today to make my partner’s life better?”
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex; it's holy and righteous! We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris, her other body parts and the possibility of one or more orgasms.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
10 Benefits Friends Shouldn't Leave Home Without
Leaving home without a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost is a now and eternal loss. God lavishes many benefits on His friends that are designed to be passed on lavishly and habitually to others. 2 Corinthians 6:6-7 Amplified Bible describes ten God-given benefits: "By innocence and purity, knowledge and spiritual insight, longsuffering and patience, kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in unfeigned love; By [speaking] the word of truth, in the power of God, with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand [to attack] and for the left hand [to defend]."
God's good friends relate a lot with God. Being filled with God, they have a lot of benefits to share with others.
A person who washed in water and soap once a year would stink enormously. Likewise if we only talk with God and do what He says only once a year, once a month or once a week, we stink spiritually. Stinking spiritually means that we are full of things like envy, self-centeredness, greed, sin etc. that disconnects relationships.
True friends want to stay connected. They bathe often to maintain the beauty of being innocent, free from the sins that disconnect. When we really want to know God and people, we can talk to God like African-American, Gospel singer Earnest Pugh does in his song, "Rain On Us," "Shower down. Shower down. Shower down. Send your Spirit, Lord. Rain. Rain on us." We need the deluxe wash of God on the inside to make us innocent, free from those things things that disconnect us from God and people.
A stinky unwashed or infrequently washed spirit corrupts self and other people and makes it difficult to maintain and grow friendships of the same sex, opposite sex, various races and in the circles of intimacy, friendship, participation and exchange. See my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more discussion on the different types of relationships.
How are you? Having been purified by God believers can answer with a customized version of, "Incredible and improving."
When God introduced us to Himself and we received Him, God began a continual purification process in us. No sickness nor struggle in our life need spoil us. God is able to purify the poisonous giving us and others a good life today and for eternity. It does not matter if the sickness or struggle is little or large, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and/or physical. African American, Gospel singer DeWayne Woods was divinely purified from HIV. Woods sings in his song "God Still Heals," "I'm alive today to testify that God still heals."
When God purifies us, He connects us with more people. God has given Woods a platform to connect people with Jesus Christ and draw others closer to Him. The Apostle Paul cultivated multiple friends of a wide variety. Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 11:1 New Living Translation Bible, "And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."
In ancient Jewish wisdom water is a metaphor for knowledge. The facts of life can be found in the Word of God. Joshua 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success."
John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ruin. Acquire the facts of life.
A fundamental fact of life is success is not possible without good relationships. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
The facts of life cannot be acquired quickly. Learning how to live better with people is a life-time study. Participate in individual study of the Word of God and group study along with seminars, CDs, DVDs, classes and other ways to learn as much as you can about what God has to say. We cannot do good if we don't know it. Contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to participate in my Thursday relationship group.
Spiritual insight is being inspired and empowered by God to understand and to do what He says to do. Every quality of God is interconnected. We cannot work one aspect of the Word of God to the exclusion of other aspects. If we just focus on one thing, then we get out of balance. The devil loves out of balance people. 1 Peter 5:8 Amplified Bible says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
When God first introduces Himself to us, He comes to live inside us, but He does not do away with our sin nature. We cooperate with God to allow Him to control and manifest greater parts of Himself through us connecting others to God and ourselves while also overcoming external obstacles.
Chinese Christian author, speaker and church leader Watchman Nee suffered sickness, poverty, church conflicts and imprisonment until death to celebrate Christ inside him and to share Christ with others. Nee had a chance to stay out of Communist China, but he didn't take it and said about his decision, “If a mother discovered that her house was on fire, and she herself was outside the house doing the laundry, what would she do? Although she realized the danger, would she not rush into the house? Although I know that my return is fraught with dangers, I know that many brothers and sisters are still inside. How can I not return?”
Just because we were impatient in the past doesn't mean that in the future we will not be calm and steady through temptation and God gaining greater control of us. If we are chasing God, celebrate where we are while seeking to go further.
Paula White, senior pastor of Without Walls International Church in Florida, writes in her book Simple Suggestions for A Sensational Life, "Too many people today are predicting their end based on their beginnings. In life the most important thing is not where you start, but where you finish. I am so thankful that God can interrupt a person's life and change the destiny of that person for His good. God does not use your past to determine your future. . . so why should you?"
A mother wanted her daughter to wear some other color than white for her bridal gown because her daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and was marrying someone other than her baby's father. The daughter is a Christian, asked God for forgiveness, ceased having sex outside of marriage and is growing spiritually. White is a perfectly appropriate color for her bridal gown. When God forgives, we have no reason to hang onto the past and every reason to move forward at His pace in His pleasant manner.
Kindness searches and seeks to remove those areas where we are cheating people. In the dissolution of marriages and other romantic relationships, some times one partner will fail to pursue copious visitation with their children. In doing so they are communicating to their children that they don't want them. God created us to receive and to give love. Mother Teresa said, "There is much suffering in the world--physical, material, mental. The suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others. The material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger, from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases. But the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."
While we all need some time alone, much time is designed to be spent in relationship with other people. Open your heart especially to God and family.
Any old love won't do. We don't naturally know how to love. God has to teach us. 1 John 4:7, 19 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. . . . We love each other because he loved us first."
The love of God inside believers is enthusiastic, extravagant, enlightened and designed to be given out in the same measure.
Are we honest, above suspicion in all things? David writes in Psalm 26:2 Amplified Bible, "Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; test my heart and my mind." That's a good, regular conversation to have with God. Sometimes the things we do seem innocent to us, but not to others.
A stash of condoms in your car glove compartment might be prep for passionate participation in the delightful, God-designed gift of martial lovemaking. However, if it's not typical of your temperament or explained behavior, what might a spouse stumbling upon this think?
A relationship with God overflows into seeking to be a magnet God uses to draw people to Him. People aren't perfect but premium believers are always cooperating with God to prune off the corrupt and push out God's goodness.
We cannot do anything to separate ourselves from the love of God. Having received such good love why not seek to draw closer to God? Examine our behavior to see if it would pass the test of, "Would this please God?" Proverbs 12:28 Amplified Bible says, "Life is in the way of righteousness (moral and spiritual rectitude in every area and relation), and in its pathway there is no death but immortality (perpetual, eternal life)."
Relationships are always changing us. Choose spouses and friends well. A Russian proverb says, "Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are."
Please leave an on-line comment sharing the way God has benefited you with innocence, purity, knowledge, spiritual insight, longsuffering, patience, kindness, unfeigned love, truth and righteousness.
God's good friends relate a lot with God. Being filled with God, they have a lot of benefits to share with others.
1. Innocence.
A person who washed in water and soap once a year would stink enormously. Likewise if we only talk with God and do what He says only once a year, once a month or once a week, we stink spiritually. Stinking spiritually means that we are full of things like envy, self-centeredness, greed, sin etc. that disconnects relationships.
True friends want to stay connected. They bathe often to maintain the beauty of being innocent, free from the sins that disconnect. When we really want to know God and people, we can talk to God like African-American, Gospel singer Earnest Pugh does in his song, "Rain On Us," "Shower down. Shower down. Shower down. Send your Spirit, Lord. Rain. Rain on us." We need the deluxe wash of God on the inside to make us innocent, free from those things things that disconnect us from God and people.
A stinky unwashed or infrequently washed spirit corrupts self and other people and makes it difficult to maintain and grow friendships of the same sex, opposite sex, various races and in the circles of intimacy, friendship, participation and exchange. See my article "How to Catch and Keep Friends" for more discussion on the different types of relationships.
2. Purity.
How are you? Having been purified by God believers can answer with a customized version of, "Incredible and improving."
When God introduced us to Himself and we received Him, God began a continual purification process in us. No sickness nor struggle in our life need spoil us. God is able to purify the poisonous giving us and others a good life today and for eternity. It does not matter if the sickness or struggle is little or large, spiritual, intellectual, emotional and/or physical. African American, Gospel singer DeWayne Woods was divinely purified from HIV. Woods sings in his song "God Still Heals," "I'm alive today to testify that God still heals."
When God purifies us, He connects us with more people. God has given Woods a platform to connect people with Jesus Christ and draw others closer to Him. The Apostle Paul cultivated multiple friends of a wide variety. Paul teaches us in 1 Corinthians 11:1 New Living Translation Bible, "And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."
3. Knowledge.
In ancient Jewish wisdom water is a metaphor for knowledge. The facts of life can be found in the Word of God. Joshua 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success."
John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ruin. Acquire the facts of life.
A fundamental fact of life is success is not possible without good relationships. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 New Living Translation Bible, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
The facts of life cannot be acquired quickly. Learning how to live better with people is a life-time study. Participate in individual study of the Word of God and group study along with seminars, CDs, DVDs, classes and other ways to learn as much as you can about what God has to say. We cannot do good if we don't know it. Contact me at my email address michefrancesjackson@gmail.com to participate in my Thursday relationship group.
4. Spiritual Insight.
Spiritual insight is being inspired and empowered by God to understand and to do what He says to do. Every quality of God is interconnected. We cannot work one aspect of the Word of God to the exclusion of other aspects. If we just focus on one thing, then we get out of balance. The devil loves out of balance people. 1 Peter 5:8 Amplified Bible says, "Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times; for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour."
5. Longsuffering.
When God first introduces Himself to us, He comes to live inside us, but He does not do away with our sin nature. We cooperate with God to allow Him to control and manifest greater parts of Himself through us connecting others to God and ourselves while also overcoming external obstacles.
Chinese Christian author, speaker and church leader Watchman Nee suffered sickness, poverty, church conflicts and imprisonment until death to celebrate Christ inside him and to share Christ with others. Nee had a chance to stay out of Communist China, but he didn't take it and said about his decision, “If a mother discovered that her house was on fire, and she herself was outside the house doing the laundry, what would she do? Although she realized the danger, would she not rush into the house? Although I know that my return is fraught with dangers, I know that many brothers and sisters are still inside. How can I not return?”
6. Patience.
Just because we were impatient in the past doesn't mean that in the future we will not be calm and steady through temptation and God gaining greater control of us. If we are chasing God, celebrate where we are while seeking to go further.
Paula White, senior pastor of Without Walls International Church in Florida, writes in her book Simple Suggestions for A Sensational Life, "Too many people today are predicting their end based on their beginnings. In life the most important thing is not where you start, but where you finish. I am so thankful that God can interrupt a person's life and change the destiny of that person for His good. God does not use your past to determine your future. . . so why should you?"
A mother wanted her daughter to wear some other color than white for her bridal gown because her daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and was marrying someone other than her baby's father. The daughter is a Christian, asked God for forgiveness, ceased having sex outside of marriage and is growing spiritually. White is a perfectly appropriate color for her bridal gown. When God forgives, we have no reason to hang onto the past and every reason to move forward at His pace in His pleasant manner.
7. Kindness.
Kindness searches and seeks to remove those areas where we are cheating people. In the dissolution of marriages and other romantic relationships, some times one partner will fail to pursue copious visitation with their children. In doing so they are communicating to their children that they don't want them. God created us to receive and to give love. Mother Teresa said, "There is much suffering in the world--physical, material, mental. The suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others. The material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger, from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases. But the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."
While we all need some time alone, much time is designed to be spent in relationship with other people. Open your heart especially to God and family.
8. Unfeigned Love.
Any old love won't do. We don't naturally know how to love. God has to teach us. 1 John 4:7, 19 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. . . . We love each other because he loved us first."
The love of God inside believers is enthusiastic, extravagant, enlightened and designed to be given out in the same measure.
9. Truth.
Are we honest, above suspicion in all things? David writes in Psalm 26:2 Amplified Bible, "Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; test my heart and my mind." That's a good, regular conversation to have with God. Sometimes the things we do seem innocent to us, but not to others.
A stash of condoms in your car glove compartment might be prep for passionate participation in the delightful, God-designed gift of martial lovemaking. However, if it's not typical of your temperament or explained behavior, what might a spouse stumbling upon this think?
10. Righteousness.
A relationship with God overflows into seeking to be a magnet God uses to draw people to Him. People aren't perfect but premium believers are always cooperating with God to prune off the corrupt and push out God's goodness.
We cannot do anything to separate ourselves from the love of God. Having received such good love why not seek to draw closer to God? Examine our behavior to see if it would pass the test of, "Would this please God?" Proverbs 12:28 Amplified Bible says, "Life is in the way of righteousness (moral and spiritual rectitude in every area and relation), and in its pathway there is no death but immortality (perpetual, eternal life)."
Relationships are always changing us. Choose spouses and friends well. A Russian proverb says, "Tell me who's your friend and I'll tell you who you are."
Please leave an on-line comment sharing the way God has benefited you with innocence, purity, knowledge, spiritual insight, longsuffering, patience, kindness, unfeigned love, truth and righteousness.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
10 Keys to Being Irresistible
God is irresistible. Are you? Check yourself against the following 10 irresistible qualities plucked from the Bible book of Colossians where the Apostle Paul pours out praise for God the Son Jesus Christ and encourages us to lean our entire personality on Him.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Theresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather helping everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon The Power of a Smile, "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Marriage can be absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Being immovable in Christ is not stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex. Peggy Vaughan estimates in her book The Monogamy Myth that nearly 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have engaged in sex outside of their marriage.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating.
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her neck and breast; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more special you make her feel, the more aroused she gets; the more sex you want. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed.
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things.
John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by learning how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex. We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris and her other body parts.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
1) Be a people magnet. It doesn't matter if we are an introvert or an extrovert. Irresistible people connect with other people cultivating the God in believers and introducing Him to others.
We usually first learn to be people magnets by being parented by people magnets. Mother Theresa said, "Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home. Make them long to be with their families. So much sin could be avoided if our people really loved their homes."
Love is not natural. Christ in us gives us the strength to make the choices to love hour by hour and day by day. He teaches us to cultivate an inner life focused on finding detailed and varied ways to please God and people.
God designed for children to come out of the love of God and spouse. A marriage to God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and to each other produced the Palmer siblings, one of whom is named Keke. African American Keke Palmer, who starred in the movie Akeelah and the Bee, says that her parents introduced her to God and helped her to form a good relationship with God that extended to loving herself and other people.
Pampering ourselves, our marriage, family and friendships with time and attention need not be about spoiling people but rather helping everyone to be their best and to live their best possible life.
Spending little time and attention on our relationships guarantees disconnection and if not corrected often leads to dissolution.
2) Cultivate confidence in Christ in all areas of life. Emotional and other types of instability and insecurity are areas where our understanding and belief in God are weak. Sometimes we may feel, "I'm not loveable;" "I'm unworthy;" and other soul destroying ways. Our feelings are often a product of our self-talk or in response to the way someone is treating us.
God loves us and forgives us of all our sins and all the sins of others. No Biblical reason exists not to love ourselves and other people. When we feel unlovable, unworthy or some other unappreciative way, it's because of sin. Talk to God about it. Get it straightened out. Problems don't go away on their own. They have to be dealt with.
If we are not receiving the love of God, then where love hasn't reached, it cannot be given out. We are designed by God to give out love in overflowing abundance. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 the Message Bible, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."
3) Refuse to be a slave to impulses. Conduct a careful, orderly, thoughtful way of life that examines impulses against the teachings in the Bible and chooses that which is in line with the Word.
Leaning on God is not passivity. God conquered the chaos and created the Garden of Eden. Believers are conquerors like God. We make small choices all throughout the day, day after day, that will eventually produce positive, purposeful plants of truth and other things that are good or weeds of wickedness. Few infidelities start one day out of the blue. Most infidelities are the creeping vines of complacency that overgrew a previously cultivated garden of love.
Some experience infidelity as anticipation and exhilaration from the secrecy, the forbidden sex, the idea that someone really gets us and is willing and eager to fulfill our fantasies. Meanwhile all the potency of sexuality and other sensuality was available in the marriage if we had aggressively and consistently cultivated the time and attention necessary to have a strong, sublime marriage. To know someone and to be known by someone deeply is a spiritual, mental and physical endeavor that does not happen by accident and without a great deal of prayer and practice. When we say, "I do," it doesn't mean, "I'm done working on making sure our relationship stays well watered and wonderful."
George Foreman, a Christian minister, husband, father of 10 children, African American, entrepreneur and championship boxer, says, in his sermon The Power of a Smile, "All of us can get up out of that bed every day and make this world a better place by just smiling . . . . We all can be nice."
Marriage can be absorbing if we cultivate our garden of love. Absorbing love, unswerving loyalty need not be complex. Sharing and connecting can be simple. Meet after work and walk and talk a couple of miles in the shopping areas followed by more conversation over a meal. Some couples run or exercise together. Some couples study the Bible together. Talk and find some ways that are enjoyable for both spouses to fellowship frequently that is fun and fosters faithfulness.
Mastering the impulse to do nothing in a relationship makes us irresistible; trying shows caring.
4) Increasingly become immovable in Christ. Being immovable in Christ is not stubbornness but a committed, continual surrendering of sins like selfishness. Our consistent change into Christ-likeness is irresistible. If we are cooperating with God, the person we were when we first met God, will evolve into someone more like Christ.
While we will not be perfect in this earthly life, we can be thankful for where we have come from, were we are at and where we are going. Thanksgiving is irresistible. It's wonderful to be wanted and willing to improve. Contentment is not static.
5) Think, talk and act in compassionate truth. Living in the truth requires courage. A survey found that 80 percent of Americans believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Yet another study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control found that about 85 percent of women and 91 percent of men have engaged in premarital sex. Peggy Vaughan estimates in her book The Monogamy Myth that nearly 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have engaged in sex outside of their marriage.
Often when we contradict our value system, the body reacts with actual physical and/or emotional pain. Some get headaches, others nausea, some a bad stomach. Some succumb to various addictions. Some experience the slipping away of self-esteem. Some experience some other type of harm.
Our bodies are interconnected. When we do good and when we sin, it affects spirit, intellect, emotions and physical body.
Unified belief and behavior is irresistible. Not many admire marriages that last fewer than 12 months, but many do admire long-term unions like the nearly 30 year marriage of Hollywood celebrities and Christians Denzel and Pauletta Washington.
6) Stop allowing negative stuff to stick to you. All our sins have been forgiven. God wiped the slate clean, so we can wipe it clean too. Colossians 2:13-15 New Living Translation Bible says, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
To meditate on what's wrong with you or bad circumstances is foolish nonsense that will fail to endear us to others. Constant complaining is irritating.
When bad things happen cooperate with God to get over them quickly and to learn how not to go there again!
Unflappable is irresistible. Living in self-pity sucks the life out of relationships.
7) Celebrate special events symbolizing love while recognizing they are not the substance of love. Weddings are wonderful, but the real wonder is a long-term, loving marriage. When scanning magazines available at mainstream news stands, magazines dedicated to weddings far outweigh those dedicated to marriage. Our culture often does not conform to Christ.
Celebrate the symbols while concentrating on the substance. Many of us want to be married, but studies show many are not willing to carefully select marriage partners, do the work to be an ideal partner and continuously nurture and grow our marriages. Approximately 75 percent of us marry once. Twenty percent marry twice, and five percent will marry three or more times.
Keep hope alive. Just because we have never been married or divorced once, twice or more times does not mean that God doesn't have a good marriage in mind for us. Nelson Mandela married his sweetheart and third wife, Graca Machel, on his 80th birthday.
A lot goes into a marriage. One thing that seems to vanish over time is compliments. Sincere, specific compliments shared throughout the day are irresistible. Tell your wife that you delight in the moles sprinkled on her neck and breast; the peaks and valleys of her curves; the marvelous way she fends off sibling rivalry; the superior way she keeps money from seeping out of the household budget; or whatever things are special and specific to your spouse. The more special you make her feel, the more aroused she gets; the more sex you want. Husbands love compliments too that appreciate their qualities of character and accomplishment.
When we aren't saying things that build up our spouse, we are tearing down our marriage. Few people want to have sex with a spouse who does not woo them with wonderful words and ways. A sexless marriage is often a loveless marriage.
8) Be open-minded to novel ways of living the truth. God desires us to be easily pliable to His touch changing whatever needs to be changed or even eliminated. This means that we may be trying a lot of things before we find the right fit. Continual self-improvement is irresistible.
Christian and Chinese American Cookie Lee was disappointed that her mom's 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. employment caused her to miss a lot of events in Lee's childhood. Lee wanted to be in the workforce and still have plentiful time together as a family. So for seven years before she had children she turned a hobby into a one-woman, part-time jewelry-making business while working a full-time job. After seven years she was making enough in her business to quit her daytime job. To have a family that she could spend plenty of time with while growing her business, she hired sales consultants to start their own businesses under her's.
Some good, Bible-study questions to ask are: "How does this relate to my reality?" "Are my beliefs really in agreement with the Bible?"
Lee did a lot of prayer, research and asking questions to make her dream of being there for her family a lot work out while prospering in her jewelry-making business.
Some are against women in jobs, businesses and/or ministries and try to put guilt trips on women so engaged. However, in the Bible Priscilla was a tent maker and had a church in her home with her husband, Aquila. Lydia was a business woman selling fabrics dyed in purple. Rachel was a shepherdess. Deborah was a prophetess and judge. Esther was a queen.
God placed some novel things in you that He designed to be developed.
The novel inspires people to pursue us. John, the husband of Cookie Lee, pursued her by joining her business creating more time together and more money.
9) Excel in helping and pleasing people within Biblical boundaries. Those who do the minimum hurt people.
An African chief invited the men of his tribe to a feast. The chief provided all the food and asked that the men of the tribe bring a jug of wine. One man of the tribe named Ali wanted to go, but he didn't have wine. His wife suggested that he buy the wine noting that it wasn't expensive. Ali responded, "How foolish to spend money when there is a way to go free! It won't hurt to add one jug of water to the pot of wine." When the day of the feast arrived Ali and the other men of the tribe poured his jug into a large pot. After all the guests arrived the chief commanded the servants to fill everyone's glass. Suddenly a cry arose from the crowd lamenting the taste of water instead of wine. Not only Ali but others had decided to do the minimum by bringing water instead of wine.
Becoming absorbed in a clean, creatively decorated house and abandoning cuddling and creative entertainment with our spouse is a way some wives do the minimum. Some husbands do the minimum by thinking, talking and acting out the attitude, "My job is number one in my life."
10) Live more for we than me. We want others to make sacrifices that show they want us.
In the Bollywood film Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara Imran is a character who found out a year ago the father who raised him is not his biological father. As a part of a bachelor, road trip with two friends through Spain, Imran decides to visit his biological father. While smoking a cigarette his biological father, Salman, explains that he abandoned Imran and his mother before Imran's birth because at age 25 he did not want the responsibility of fatherhood; his soul was and still is only fed by his art and world traveling. Salman thinks that me is better than we, but even he has to cover up his pain through a nicotine addiction.
Irresistible people find ways to weave together responsibilities and dreams.
Greek Australian Christine Caine was active in Christian singles ministry. Many told her that marriage and kids would slow her down. However, she and her husband, Nick and daughters, Sophia and Catherine, travel the globe sharing Jesus Christ with others and have ministries, like Equip and Empower, that help others plant churches and fight human trafficking among other things.
John Tillotson, a Christian leader of the 1600s, said, “Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.” Avoid ignorance and inconsideration by learning how to solve problems by incorporating people with passion, and then doing it.
Making we more important than me nurtures marital love and sex. Enjoy marital sex. We is designed to be wonderfully irresistible. It's spiritual and logical that a popular sexual position is called the "missionary." If you are married, try a twist on the missionary where the husband kneels and straddles his wife's leg while she’s lying on her left side. From here, she should bend her right leg around the right side of his waist—allowing full access to her vagina, her clitoris and her other body parts.
In what ways are you irresistible? Please leave an irresistible on-line comment at the bottom of this article.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
7 Ways to Stay the Course of Joy Through Conflict
Sooner or later every relationship encounters disagreements. Sometimes we cannot even remember what we were discussing, but we do remember the general way we feel about the person we were having conflict with. Philippians 2 shows us that joy is an internal celebration of God and His ways that overflows externally and gives us seven ways to stay the course of joy through conflict.
1) Continuously chase a lifestyle of relationships filled with harmony and being of the same mind, intention and purpose. Some differences accompany disagreements others expose lifestyles that are diametrical. Prune off the diametrical. Seek to find the source of disagreements and humbly resolve them. Sometimes self-denial is needed. Other times assertiveness is needed.
True friends support and complement our life purposes. Choose relationships carefully. Much conflict can be eliminated by careful initial selection.
African American Bethann Hardison helped launch Click Models after the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. A time came when it was time for her to leave the nest and build her own. Nurtured by legal and model friends she started Bethann Management. These friends really helped. No attitudes and actions of, "I wish you well, but I'm not going to give you on-going resources to work with." A mother and daughter in the modeling business gave Hardison money for real-life bills like rent, utilities and whatever was necessary. Another legal friend negotiated the office space for Bethann Management and didn't charge her legal fees.
Hardison was called to be a leader in the fashion industry. Her friends may have disagreed from time to time regarding how she lead, but they encouraged her leadership and supported it in profuse, physical ways. Hardison was also wise enough not to keep friends who were opposed to her being a leader.
In a similar way Paul and the Philippian believers were in Christian ministry. They could not have shared as much joy if either one of them did not support each others ministry.
2) Helping people help themselves also helps ourselves. Friendship flourishes with reciprocity, so does almost everything else. In 1867 Marie Sklodowska was born in Warsaw, Poland. Early in life she showed enthusiasm about education and an extraordinary ability to learn. However, her father could not afford to educate her beyond early childhood. Instead of responding to the obstacle with fear, unbelief and self-limiting practices, Marie took a job as a teacher then later as a governess to fund her advanced educational dreams.
Marie paid for her sister's, Bronislawa's, education with her earnings from her governess job. When Bronislawa completed her studies, Bronislawa paid for Marie to attend university.
Both Bronislawa and Marie became scientists. By 1891 Marie studied at the world-famous Sorbonne in France. She also became the school's first female teacher. Marie married a physics professor in 1895. They devoted their lives to science. In 1903 Marie shared the Nobel Prize in physics with her husband, Pierre Curie, and Henri Becquerel. In 1911 Marie Sklodowska-Curie won a Nobel Prize for chemistry by herself.
Marie is the first person to earn two Nobel Prizes each in sciences. She developed a theory of radioactivity, techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes and discovered the elements polonium and radium.
Like Marie and Bronislawa helped each other to be educated, the Philippian believers and Paul helped each other share God and His Word, the Bible, with others.
3) Celebrate equality with humility. Black people are equal with white people and any other people. Women are equal with men. Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation Bible says, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Revealing equality through humility works better than hate. Jesus Christ never stopped being God and equal with God the Father and God the Holy Ghost even when He experienced violence instead of the respect due royalty. Black American and Christian Marian Anderson kept her wisdom, elegance and humility even when she was rejected from opportunities because of her race. Anderson wrote in My Lord, What a Morning in response to a music school rejecting her admission due to her blackness, " . . . I could not conceive of a person surrounded as she was with the joy that is music without having some sense of its beauty and understanding rub off on her. I did not argue with her or ask to see her superior. It was as if a cold, horrifying hand had been laid on me. I turned and walked out."
Walking out on evil is walking into good. God ensures that good is honored in due season. Jesus Christ was crucified at the instigation of the local religious leaders, but three days later He rose from the dead and shortly after the Christian church was founded as God's means to express goodness on earth. With donations from a local church, Anderson was able to take singing lessons with coach Giuseppe Boghetti. In 1924 she launched her career by giving her first recital at New York's Town Hall. Later she went on to have a flourishing singing career that broke through racial barriers including a 1939 Easter morning concert in Washington, D.C., to 75,000 present and millions by radio.
4) Be willing and ready to help. "The roots of happiness grow best in the soil of service," says educator and African American Ruth Love.
A husband was addicted to pornography. He confessed his addiction to his wife. He didn't try to blame her for his addiction or to blame his upbringing or someone or something else. He sought ways to overcome it. His wife was hurt by his addiction, but she was willing and ready to help her husband. She listened and talked with him to understand why he likes pornography and why its so hard to leave it. She didn't condemn him by thinking, saying or doing things that communicate, "You're so weak to be wrapped up in this trash." This couple participated in helpful activities like Christian counseling, and over time his pornography addiction was conquered.
5) Caress copiously through cheerfulness. When Paul wrote the book of Philippians he didn't know if his current jail sentence would end in death or release. Paul didn't shower people with self-pity, but rather he talked about and lived out God's wonderful ways of pursuing the best even amidst the bad. Paul probably didn't always feel cheerful, but he expressed an attitude and actions of cheerfulness because this is how God is and what pleases God. In Philippians 2:12 Amplified Bible Paul counsels us to behave, " . . . timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of God."
That's an incredibly large request for imperfect people to fulfill. The good news is we have a power source living on the inside to help us fulfill it if we tap into Him. Philippians 2:13 Amplified Bible says, "[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."
6) Cherish people in your real life and release comparisons and excessive thoughts about fantasy people. Not many people look like and have achieved career success like Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Hrithik Roshan and others. If we spend too much time reading about, looking at and thinking about the stars, then what's on earth may become disappointing and breed envy and other negative qualities.
Our spouses, family and friends have a lot of wonderful qualities. Think a lot about these. Love grows when we nurture it. Conversely when we don't, it dies.
It may take a lot of work to think about the good in our spouse, family or friends, but God put it there! Psalm 139:13-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
Five years ago you may have sent sexy and funny texts, emails and telephone calls to your spouse, but now it's mostly perfunctory. You used to enjoy the feel of mouth and tongue all over your spouse's body and yours, finding each others multiple moan zones, playing games like, "Does this feel good? How about this?," but now when was the last time you had sex? Try again. Ignite the flame of love that you let die, and keep it burning hot. Marriage is suppose to be filled with merriment.
7) Appreciate people especially spouses, family and friends. Sexual, emotional and other types of infidelity start by the negative way we are thinking about our spouse. Fault-finding is a negative mindset. Fault-finding is a focus on what is wrong with someone. We are betraying a sacred personal trust when we stew on the bad in our spouse instead of meditating on the good. If we have a low opinion of someone, then it is hard to feel good about them and to treat them well.
The Apostle Paul writes about his friend and co-worker, Epaphroditus, in Philippians 2:30 New Living Translation Bible, "For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away." Paul thanked Epaphroditus for what he did without any undertone of criticism. A fault-finding person might have wrote about Epaphroditus, "Epaphroditus wasn't too smart in the way he tried to help us. He allowed himself to work so much for other people that he got ill. It's a miracle that we got any help."
A fault-finding person wouldn't make Epaphroditus or others feel good. Instead of inspiring others to choose to be together, to experience joy, the words of a fault-finder are repelling.
Fault-finding spouses, family members and/or friends are setting themselves up to seek appreciation in someone else. We all desire to be appreciated. Some fault-finders are surprised to find themselves sharing intimate thoughts, feelings and desires with the opposite sex that lead into sexual, emotional or other types of infidelity; they failed to associate the source of infidelity in their thinking unappreciative thoughts about their spouse.
The joy of God is in believers. If we don't seem to be experiencing it, then we aren't cultivating it.
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Please share the juiciest details of the joy in your life. Sharing helps people grow.
1) Continuously chase a lifestyle of relationships filled with harmony and being of the same mind, intention and purpose. Some differences accompany disagreements others expose lifestyles that are diametrical. Prune off the diametrical. Seek to find the source of disagreements and humbly resolve them. Sometimes self-denial is needed. Other times assertiveness is needed.
True friends support and complement our life purposes. Choose relationships carefully. Much conflict can be eliminated by careful initial selection.
African American Bethann Hardison helped launch Click Models after the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. A time came when it was time for her to leave the nest and build her own. Nurtured by legal and model friends she started Bethann Management. These friends really helped. No attitudes and actions of, "I wish you well, but I'm not going to give you on-going resources to work with." A mother and daughter in the modeling business gave Hardison money for real-life bills like rent, utilities and whatever was necessary. Another legal friend negotiated the office space for Bethann Management and didn't charge her legal fees.
Hardison was called to be a leader in the fashion industry. Her friends may have disagreed from time to time regarding how she lead, but they encouraged her leadership and supported it in profuse, physical ways. Hardison was also wise enough not to keep friends who were opposed to her being a leader.
In a similar way Paul and the Philippian believers were in Christian ministry. They could not have shared as much joy if either one of them did not support each others ministry.
2) Helping people help themselves also helps ourselves. Friendship flourishes with reciprocity, so does almost everything else. In 1867 Marie Sklodowska was born in Warsaw, Poland. Early in life she showed enthusiasm about education and an extraordinary ability to learn. However, her father could not afford to educate her beyond early childhood. Instead of responding to the obstacle with fear, unbelief and self-limiting practices, Marie took a job as a teacher then later as a governess to fund her advanced educational dreams.
Marie paid for her sister's, Bronislawa's, education with her earnings from her governess job. When Bronislawa completed her studies, Bronislawa paid for Marie to attend university.
Both Bronislawa and Marie became scientists. By 1891 Marie studied at the world-famous Sorbonne in France. She also became the school's first female teacher. Marie married a physics professor in 1895. They devoted their lives to science. In 1903 Marie shared the Nobel Prize in physics with her husband, Pierre Curie, and Henri Becquerel. In 1911 Marie Sklodowska-Curie won a Nobel Prize for chemistry by herself.
Marie is the first person to earn two Nobel Prizes each in sciences. She developed a theory of radioactivity, techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes and discovered the elements polonium and radium.
Like Marie and Bronislawa helped each other to be educated, the Philippian believers and Paul helped each other share God and His Word, the Bible, with others.
3) Celebrate equality with humility. Black people are equal with white people and any other people. Women are equal with men. Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation Bible says, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Revealing equality through humility works better than hate. Jesus Christ never stopped being God and equal with God the Father and God the Holy Ghost even when He experienced violence instead of the respect due royalty. Black American and Christian Marian Anderson kept her wisdom, elegance and humility even when she was rejected from opportunities because of her race. Anderson wrote in My Lord, What a Morning in response to a music school rejecting her admission due to her blackness, " . . . I could not conceive of a person surrounded as she was with the joy that is music without having some sense of its beauty and understanding rub off on her. I did not argue with her or ask to see her superior. It was as if a cold, horrifying hand had been laid on me. I turned and walked out."
Walking out on evil is walking into good. God ensures that good is honored in due season. Jesus Christ was crucified at the instigation of the local religious leaders, but three days later He rose from the dead and shortly after the Christian church was founded as God's means to express goodness on earth. With donations from a local church, Anderson was able to take singing lessons with coach Giuseppe Boghetti. In 1924 she launched her career by giving her first recital at New York's Town Hall. Later she went on to have a flourishing singing career that broke through racial barriers including a 1939 Easter morning concert in Washington, D.C., to 75,000 present and millions by radio.
4) Be willing and ready to help. "The roots of happiness grow best in the soil of service," says educator and African American Ruth Love.
A husband was addicted to pornography. He confessed his addiction to his wife. He didn't try to blame her for his addiction or to blame his upbringing or someone or something else. He sought ways to overcome it. His wife was hurt by his addiction, but she was willing and ready to help her husband. She listened and talked with him to understand why he likes pornography and why its so hard to leave it. She didn't condemn him by thinking, saying or doing things that communicate, "You're so weak to be wrapped up in this trash." This couple participated in helpful activities like Christian counseling, and over time his pornography addiction was conquered.
5) Caress copiously through cheerfulness. When Paul wrote the book of Philippians he didn't know if his current jail sentence would end in death or release. Paul didn't shower people with self-pity, but rather he talked about and lived out God's wonderful ways of pursuing the best even amidst the bad. Paul probably didn't always feel cheerful, but he expressed an attitude and actions of cheerfulness because this is how God is and what pleases God. In Philippians 2:12 Amplified Bible Paul counsels us to behave, " . . . timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of God."
That's an incredibly large request for imperfect people to fulfill. The good news is we have a power source living on the inside to help us fulfill it if we tap into Him. Philippians 2:13 Amplified Bible says, "[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."
6) Cherish people in your real life and release comparisons and excessive thoughts about fantasy people. Not many people look like and have achieved career success like Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Hrithik Roshan and others. If we spend too much time reading about, looking at and thinking about the stars, then what's on earth may become disappointing and breed envy and other negative qualities.
Our spouses, family and friends have a lot of wonderful qualities. Think a lot about these. Love grows when we nurture it. Conversely when we don't, it dies.
It may take a lot of work to think about the good in our spouse, family or friends, but God put it there! Psalm 139:13-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
Five years ago you may have sent sexy and funny texts, emails and telephone calls to your spouse, but now it's mostly perfunctory. You used to enjoy the feel of mouth and tongue all over your spouse's body and yours, finding each others multiple moan zones, playing games like, "Does this feel good? How about this?," but now when was the last time you had sex? Try again. Ignite the flame of love that you let die, and keep it burning hot. Marriage is suppose to be filled with merriment.
7) Appreciate people especially spouses, family and friends. Sexual, emotional and other types of infidelity start by the negative way we are thinking about our spouse. Fault-finding is a negative mindset. Fault-finding is a focus on what is wrong with someone. We are betraying a sacred personal trust when we stew on the bad in our spouse instead of meditating on the good. If we have a low opinion of someone, then it is hard to feel good about them and to treat them well.
The Apostle Paul writes about his friend and co-worker, Epaphroditus, in Philippians 2:30 New Living Translation Bible, "For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away." Paul thanked Epaphroditus for what he did without any undertone of criticism. A fault-finding person might have wrote about Epaphroditus, "Epaphroditus wasn't too smart in the way he tried to help us. He allowed himself to work so much for other people that he got ill. It's a miracle that we got any help."
A fault-finding person wouldn't make Epaphroditus or others feel good. Instead of inspiring others to choose to be together, to experience joy, the words of a fault-finder are repelling.
Fault-finding spouses, family members and/or friends are setting themselves up to seek appreciation in someone else. We all desire to be appreciated. Some fault-finders are surprised to find themselves sharing intimate thoughts, feelings and desires with the opposite sex that lead into sexual, emotional or other types of infidelity; they failed to associate the source of infidelity in their thinking unappreciative thoughts about their spouse.
The joy of God is in believers. If we don't seem to be experiencing it, then we aren't cultivating it.
With more than 300,000 people signing up for Twitter.com daily perhaps you are one of them? If so, let's
* tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30,"
* chat through the social networking site Google's G+
*and/or leave a comment at the bottom of this article.
Please share the juiciest details of the joy in your life. Sharing helps people grow.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Tie Me Up?
Mostly what God does is influence us instead of force us to change. Yet a lot of times conversely we try to change our spouses, family, friends and others by tying them up with ropes of intimidation, shame, blame, etc. Let's look at four ways God exerted influence recorded in John 8:1-11.
1) Some people will try to tie us up with the intimidation of screaming and/or drama. We can keep our influence -- our peace and wisdom -- in the midst of arguments. More than 2,000 years ago some religious leaders crashed Jesus Christ's class dragging in a woman caught in adultery and displaying her in plain view of the class. Jesus didn't display emotional upset or immediately speak. It's not that Jesus doesn't experience emotions -- He's the same one whose eyes flash like a flame of fire -- Jesus manages His emotions. He sought to slow down and cool down the exchange by stooping down to write on the ground. This gave Him and others time to contemplate what's happening. Then He could talk to God the Father for the resolution while allowing God the Holy Ghost to empower Him to implement it.
Jesus' pause models respect for people. It communicates, "I am smart. You are smart. We don't need to hurry up and make needless mistakes. Instead we recognize problems and are responsible enough to find ways to fix them." When we speak too fast we often say things that harm us and harm our relationships.
It's natural to think about the negative. It's spiritual to pause and meditate on the positive. A lot of arguments among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about.
Twitter.com is a neat social networking website where participants must whittle their wonderful words to a maximum of 140 characters. Those who "follow" you receive your writing posts on their smartphone or computer. So value and respect your spouse, family, friends and others with posts like, "U R so GR8 that God gave up His life, so that U could have the best life forever!" Let's tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," or we may chat through the social networking site Google's G+, or you may leave a comment at the bottom of this article.
If our attempts at frequent, fun, filling marital sex are frequently being met with, "I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," then perhaps we are saying and doing things to our spouse that communicate, "You aren't that important to me," "I really don't want to share my time by cultivating an intimate relationship with you and each of our children," "I just want to get my needs met," "I want to look good at all costs," etc. All arguments are not hot. Some are cool or cold. Even comfortably numb marital connections are ripe for infidelity. Arguments need resolution. If we can't, someone else will!
Jesus' stooping pause is not incidental or accidental, but essential. Indian Mughal Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar sought rahi aql (the path of reason) in the late sixteenth century, but it can only be found effectively in Jesus. One of the ways Jesus changes people is by using reasoning to convince them that they are valuable people who have veered away from right reasoning, but through Him can veer into the best way of living. No matter what we have done, God doesn't disapprove of us. He loves us. He's tattooed a picture of us on the palm of His hand. He has pure motives in trying to persuade us to follow Him. James 3:17 Amplified Bible says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity)."
2) Persistent pestering is a tactic of those trying to tie us up with intimidation. Refuse to be abused; influence grows by keeping on doing good. The religious leaders were hoping that by trying to force Jesus to say something, He would flub.
Some act like a dragnet of dullness. If someone refuses to come to the truth with subtle modeling, then make it plain with respect. "They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"" (John 8:7 New Living Translation Bible).
The source of all arguments is sin. We all have sinned, are sinning and will sin. Some sins are deliberate; for believers as we grow in intimacy with God our sins are less deliberate and more unintentional. When we see sin, God designed believers to model Him humbly, not haughtily like the religious leaders, in seeking to assist someone in receiving a greater revelation of God.
If we never committed sexual adultery, it is not because we are so smart and strong; it is because God kept us out of situations that would have caused us to fall into sexual adultery. Cooperate with God to wipe off any smug sneers on our face when we catch someone in sin of any type. Galatians 6:1 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself."
3) When someone zealously attempts to tie someone else up with shame, the attacker is more interested in punishing people than allowing God to work through them to point people to the path of life which is love, truth, joy, all that is good. Compassion is influence.
Many of the religious people of Jesus' day do not come across as compassionate or confident people. They seemed to unknowingly have a mindset of, "I can't do anything right because I'm a bad person. So to make myself feel better I need to put down someone else. I need a lot of attention and patting on my back and places of honor to mask who I am."
Shame-based people will try to shoot others with shame attacks. Shame attacks are ineffective against shielded minds that simply shake them off with loving truth. Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible says, "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."
An illiterate, white student called black, Chicago, Illinois, teacher Marva Collins a "jungle bunny." Collins had not internalized shame about being black, a woman or a teacher. She responded to this sexist, racial slur with tender, humorous truth by saying she would take offense when her sweetheart learned to read, write and spell jungle bunny.
Jesus did not take offense to the attacks of the religious leaders. He did not internalize any shame about who He is as the Son of God or His competence in understanding and applying the Mosaic Law. Jesus was not an adulterer. He didn't want to be one. He didn't envy adulterers. With simplicity, expertise and authority He pointed out the principal problem of all those involved, and offered the solution to adultery. ". . . And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 Amplified Bible).
The woman caught in adultery was impressed, surprised and delighted that Jesus was not going to punish her, look down on her or harm her in any way. She was likely willing to leave adultery because someone really cares for her. The way we are wired is, "If you care for me, then I'll care for you, and the things you want me to do." The spiritual maturity of loving the unlovable is something we have to cooperate with God to display with the unlovable.
All sin ties us down. Loves cuts the ropes and releases us into the responsibility of following Jesus' enjoyable life engaged in love with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost and all people.
4) Some want to tie us up in blame for our sin while taking little or no responsibility for their sin. Influence is available by receiving God's blameless view of us and His power to resist sin forever. The religious leaders attacked the woman without having first dealt with their own sin, and they discriminated against her by trying to pin all the fault for adultery on her instead of equally on the man also involved who is totally missing from this drama. When Jesus encouraged the woman to sin no more Jesus is engaging her not only with Himself but also with the man she had sex with, the religious leaders and others. Jesus wants everyone to learn to have frequent, fun, filling sex inside of marriage and to learn to celebrate single sexuality without sexual sin. No matter how much some may try to present sexual sin as beautiful, sexual sin is the advocacy of loveless sex. Jesus is about marrying as many people as possible into God's family of love. Romans 12:5 Amplified Bible describes the family of love, "So we, numerous as we are; are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]."
Since God designed us to help each other, harmful ropes like blame need to be taken off our lives. Jesus Christ has already paid the price for all the blame, shame, false fear, adultery and sin we have ever done, are doing and will ever do. His death and resurrection in three days took care of this. If we receive Him, then we need not continue to receive harmful things like blame, shame, false fear, adultery that hurt us and our relationships now and if not dealt with will leave eternal damage. Romans 6:23 New Living Translation Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
Tie me up? No thanks. Free in love forever is better. Please share an on-line comment about how Christ has set you free and/or participate in my relationship group by contacting me via email at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
1) Some people will try to tie us up with the intimidation of screaming and/or drama. We can keep our influence -- our peace and wisdom -- in the midst of arguments. More than 2,000 years ago some religious leaders crashed Jesus Christ's class dragging in a woman caught in adultery and displaying her in plain view of the class. Jesus didn't display emotional upset or immediately speak. It's not that Jesus doesn't experience emotions -- He's the same one whose eyes flash like a flame of fire -- Jesus manages His emotions. He sought to slow down and cool down the exchange by stooping down to write on the ground. This gave Him and others time to contemplate what's happening. Then He could talk to God the Father for the resolution while allowing God the Holy Ghost to empower Him to implement it.
Jesus' pause models respect for people. It communicates, "I am smart. You are smart. We don't need to hurry up and make needless mistakes. Instead we recognize problems and are responsible enough to find ways to fix them." When we speak too fast we often say things that harm us and harm our relationships.
It's natural to think about the negative. It's spiritual to pause and meditate on the positive. A lot of arguments among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about.
Twitter.com is a neat social networking website where participants must whittle their wonderful words to a maximum of 140 characters. Those who "follow" you receive your writing posts on their smartphone or computer. So value and respect your spouse, family, friends and others with posts like, "U R so GR8 that God gave up His life, so that U could have the best life forever!" Let's tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," or we may chat through the social networking site Google's G+, or you may leave a comment at the bottom of this article.
If our attempts at frequent, fun, filling marital sex are frequently being met with, "I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," then perhaps we are saying and doing things to our spouse that communicate, "You aren't that important to me," "I really don't want to share my time by cultivating an intimate relationship with you and each of our children," "I just want to get my needs met," "I want to look good at all costs," etc. All arguments are not hot. Some are cool or cold. Even comfortably numb marital connections are ripe for infidelity. Arguments need resolution. If we can't, someone else will!
Jesus' stooping pause is not incidental or accidental, but essential. Indian Mughal Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar sought rahi aql (the path of reason) in the late sixteenth century, but it can only be found effectively in Jesus. One of the ways Jesus changes people is by using reasoning to convince them that they are valuable people who have veered away from right reasoning, but through Him can veer into the best way of living. No matter what we have done, God doesn't disapprove of us. He loves us. He's tattooed a picture of us on the palm of His hand. He has pure motives in trying to persuade us to follow Him. James 3:17 Amplified Bible says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity)."
2) Persistent pestering is a tactic of those trying to tie us up with intimidation. Refuse to be abused; influence grows by keeping on doing good. The religious leaders were hoping that by trying to force Jesus to say something, He would flub.
Some act like a dragnet of dullness. If someone refuses to come to the truth with subtle modeling, then make it plain with respect. "They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"" (John 8:7 New Living Translation Bible).
The source of all arguments is sin. We all have sinned, are sinning and will sin. Some sins are deliberate; for believers as we grow in intimacy with God our sins are less deliberate and more unintentional. When we see sin, God designed believers to model Him humbly, not haughtily like the religious leaders, in seeking to assist someone in receiving a greater revelation of God.
If we never committed sexual adultery, it is not because we are so smart and strong; it is because God kept us out of situations that would have caused us to fall into sexual adultery. Cooperate with God to wipe off any smug sneers on our face when we catch someone in sin of any type. Galatians 6:1 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself."
3) When someone zealously attempts to tie someone else up with shame, the attacker is more interested in punishing people than allowing God to work through them to point people to the path of life which is love, truth, joy, all that is good. Compassion is influence.
Many of the religious people of Jesus' day do not come across as compassionate or confident people. They seemed to unknowingly have a mindset of, "I can't do anything right because I'm a bad person. So to make myself feel better I need to put down someone else. I need a lot of attention and patting on my back and places of honor to mask who I am."
Shame-based people will try to shoot others with shame attacks. Shame attacks are ineffective against shielded minds that simply shake them off with loving truth. Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible says, "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."
An illiterate, white student called black, Chicago, Illinois, teacher Marva Collins a "jungle bunny." Collins had not internalized shame about being black, a woman or a teacher. She responded to this sexist, racial slur with tender, humorous truth by saying she would take offense when her sweetheart learned to read, write and spell jungle bunny.
Jesus did not take offense to the attacks of the religious leaders. He did not internalize any shame about who He is as the Son of God or His competence in understanding and applying the Mosaic Law. Jesus was not an adulterer. He didn't want to be one. He didn't envy adulterers. With simplicity, expertise and authority He pointed out the principal problem of all those involved, and offered the solution to adultery. ". . . And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 Amplified Bible).
The woman caught in adultery was impressed, surprised and delighted that Jesus was not going to punish her, look down on her or harm her in any way. She was likely willing to leave adultery because someone really cares for her. The way we are wired is, "If you care for me, then I'll care for you, and the things you want me to do." The spiritual maturity of loving the unlovable is something we have to cooperate with God to display with the unlovable.
All sin ties us down. Loves cuts the ropes and releases us into the responsibility of following Jesus' enjoyable life engaged in love with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost and all people.
4) Some want to tie us up in blame for our sin while taking little or no responsibility for their sin. Influence is available by receiving God's blameless view of us and His power to resist sin forever. The religious leaders attacked the woman without having first dealt with their own sin, and they discriminated against her by trying to pin all the fault for adultery on her instead of equally on the man also involved who is totally missing from this drama. When Jesus encouraged the woman to sin no more Jesus is engaging her not only with Himself but also with the man she had sex with, the religious leaders and others. Jesus wants everyone to learn to have frequent, fun, filling sex inside of marriage and to learn to celebrate single sexuality without sexual sin. No matter how much some may try to present sexual sin as beautiful, sexual sin is the advocacy of loveless sex. Jesus is about marrying as many people as possible into God's family of love. Romans 12:5 Amplified Bible describes the family of love, "So we, numerous as we are; are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]."
Since God designed us to help each other, harmful ropes like blame need to be taken off our lives. Jesus Christ has already paid the price for all the blame, shame, false fear, adultery and sin we have ever done, are doing and will ever do. His death and resurrection in three days took care of this. If we receive Him, then we need not continue to receive harmful things like blame, shame, false fear, adultery that hurt us and our relationships now and if not dealt with will leave eternal damage. Romans 6:23 New Living Translation Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
Tie me up? No thanks. Free in love forever is better. Please share an on-line comment about how Christ has set you free and/or participate in my relationship group by contacting me via email at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
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