Second-Class Christian Citizens?

Are non-virgins second-class Christian citizens compared to virgins? No! Someone who has had one or more sexual partners is not a second-class Christian or a second-best marriage partner.

While a virgin has not sinned in having sexual relations with another human being, a virgin has sinned in some ways. Virgins and non-virgins have sinned in multiple ways. Romans 3:10 Amplified Bible says, "As it is written, None is righteous, just and truthful and upright and conscientious, no, not one." The solution to a lack of righteousness is offered to virgins and non-virgins in Romans 6:23 Amplified Bible which says, "For the wages which sin pays is death, but the [bountiful] free gift of God is eternal life through (in union with) Jesus Christ our Lord."

When considering someone to marry we don't want to disqualify a person based on being a virgin or non-virgin. What is much more important is marrying a person who has received an eternal relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. While many are concerned about the chronological age of a spouse, what is more important is to be and to marry someone spiritually mature; someone whose relationship with God is deep like the earth's deepest lakes of Lake Tanganyika in Africa and Lake Baikal in Siberia, Russia; someone who constantly chases God, and is consequently constantly improving.

A person can be a virgin or non-virgin and still be spiritually immature. A good marriage is the fellowship of two spiritually mature Christians who are continuously cooperating with God to change into His likeness.

Many people receive Christ, but refuse to grow in their relationship with Christ, themselves and other people. The Bible gives us the blueprint for living. Joshua 1:8 Amplified Bible says, "This Book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall deal wisely and have good success." Some people want to succeed, but they are not willing to do what it takes to succeed. Brian Tracy writes in his book, No Excuses! The Power of Self-Discipline 21 Ways to Achieve Lasting Happiness and Success, "One of the most important requirements for success, once you have decided what it is that you want, is the quality of willingness. Successful people are willing to pay the price, whatever it is and for as long as it takes, until they achieve the results they desire. Everyone wants to be successful . . . . But most people are not willing to pay the price. Occasionally, they may be wiling to pay part of the price, but they are not willing to pay the whole price. They always hold back. They always have some excuse or rationalization for not disciplining themselves to do everything that they need to do to achieve their goals."

Being a virgin before marriage may indicate that a person has some love of God. John 14:15 Amplified Bible says, "If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands." Virgins have been obedient to one aspect of Exodus 20:14 the Message Bible which requires us to practice, "No adultery."

A non-virgin may also love God irregardless of having sex outside of marriage once or thousands of times. Some non-virgins have sinned sexually, received the forgiveness, transformation and love of God and have been walking in beautiful, Biblical, sexual balance for a while.

God does not consider virgins more spiritual or worthy or better people than non-virgins. God offers His love to everyone. God inspired the Apostle Paul to say in Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation Bible, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."

In some parts of the globe a woman can be killed if she is not a virgin before marriage. Hymenoplasty surgery to attempt to restore a broken hymen is routinely performed in parts of the world, such as Muslim countries and other places. In Japan hymenoplasty is called "virginity rebirth." Jesus Christ does not require hymenoplasty and other mutilation of our bodies to be holy.

If you are a non-virgin who has sought the forgiveness, transformation and love of God to empower you to celebrate single sexuality and to celebrate sexual relations inside of marriage, but find yourself struggling with your self-worth, shame, fear, guilt or something else, keep on asking God to help you to fully receive His love. God views us as individual, priceless treasures. He wants us to have the same view of ourselves as He has of us.

If you are a virgin who looks down on non-virgins, repent of being judgmental, condemning, haughty and self-righteous like many of the religious leaders during the time of Jesus Christ's earthly ministry. Jesus Christ tells a story in Luke 18:10-14 Amplified Bible which says, "Two men went up into the temple [enclosure] to pray, the one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee took his stand ostentatiously and began to pray thus before and with himself: God, I thank You that I am not like the rest of men--extortioners (robbers), swindlers [unrighteous in heart and life], adulterers--or even like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I gain. But the tax collector, [merely] standing at a distance, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but kept striking his breast, saying, O God, be favorable (be gracious, be merciful) to me, the especially wicked sinner that I am! I tell you, this man went down to his home justified (forgiven and made upright and in right standing with God), rather than the other man; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

If you are a virgin envying a non-virgin, repent. Never envy sinful behavior. Sin hurts multiple people in multiple ways whether we see the pain or not.

Most people are not virgins when the marry. However, 73 percent of non-virgins say sex inside of marriage is better than sex outside of marriage. 

When we have received a lot of the love of God, we are able to give out a lot of the love of God. Having received the love of God, non-virgins will not feel bad about themselves and/or envy virgins; also virgins will not feel superior to non-virgins or envy non-virgins. God takes all of our sins and works them out for His glory and our good. International practical Bible teacher Joyce Meyer was repeatedly raped by her father as a child and as an adolescent. As a young adult she went through a divorce. Later she married Dave Meyer, and later still together they have a Christian ministry potentially impacting 4.5 billion. Luci Swindoll is a single who has an international Christian ministry and writes in her book, I Married Adventure, "It's daring to be curious about the unknown, to dream big dreams, to live outside prescribed boxes, to take risks, and above all, daring to investigate the way we live until we discover the deepest treasured purpose of why we are here."

Whether we are a non-virgin or virgin, if we have received God and are continuously seeking to mature in our relationship with God and people, then celebrate who we are just as we are.