More than 1.3 billion people live in China, the world's most populous nation. Most belong to the Han ethnic group. The rest belong to more than 50 ethnic groups. Likewise a variety of sexual practices exists.
A firm, full butt may inspire a spouse to squeeze and to kiss it. Some husbands and wives may also enjoy licking between the butt cheeks, inserting their tongue or finger into their spouses butt hole, using anal toys and/or anal intercourse.
Not all spouses enjoy the sexuality of the butt. Just because a husband or wife does not want to participate in a certain sexual activity does not mean he or she is sexually repressed or rejecting his or her spouse. Don't try to force a spouse to participate in sexual activity that is contrary to his or her faith. Romans 14:23 Amplified Bible says, "But the man who has doubts (misgivings, an uneasy conscience) about eating, and then eats [perhaps because of you], stands condemned [before God], because he is not true to his convictions and he does not act from faith. For whatever does not originate and proceed from faith is sin [whatever is done without a conviction of its approval by God is sinful]."
Exalta a la roca de nuestra salvación. Charla con Jesús. (Exalt the rock of our salvation. Chat with Jesus.) Ask God to change your spouse's mind about certain sexual practices.
Even when having spousal sex arguments, "You can have peace in the middle of a storm when you know joy is coming in the morning time" (song "God's Up To Something Good" from the album Next Now by Hart Ramsey & The NCC Family Choir featuring John P. Kee and Ms. Ty Scott.)
Conflict can be creative. Patricia Bath, MD, pioneered the worldwide discipline of community ophthalmology, a volunteer-based program to bring necessary eye care to under served populations, co-founded the American Institute for the Prevention of Blindness and secured four patents in the United States. Many of Bath's accomplishments came out of conflict.
What joy and accomplishment has come from sexual conflict?
May your marriage have jiu (long life.)
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conflict. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Robbing God and Our Family
"So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a bottle of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulders, and he sent her and the youth away. And she wandered on [aimlessly] and lost her way in the wilderness of Beersheba." -- Genesis 21:14 Amplified Bible
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Keep, Keeping On
Sometimes we have conflicts of interest in our life that may not seem to be resolvable, but a way can be worked out favorably. Sometimes our enemies seem like a multitude and try to get us focused on narrow ways of thinking, but God is our advocate to help us advance in life. He doesn't want us to trip over trivia.
Psalm 3:1-3 Amplified Bible says, "Lord, How they are increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are saying of me, There is no help for him in God. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."
Psalm 3:1-3 Amplified Bible says, "Lord, How they are increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are saying of me, There is no help for him in God. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Relationship Foundation
God is one of a kind. He lives in harmonious relationship -- God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. We are each one of a kind. Even twins do not have the same fingerprints. God designed believers to become more like Him and for harmonious relationships.
While believers will not experience becoming fully like God and living in harmony in all our relationships in this life, we will experience more of God's best when we are led by Him instead of being led by formulas, rituals and other means of applying the Bible to relationships and life.
God has always chosen to be in relationship with believers. Believers receive Him. God is the foundation from which we build relationships.
While believers will not experience becoming fully like God and living in harmony in all our relationships in this life, we will experience more of God's best when we are led by Him instead of being led by formulas, rituals and other means of applying the Bible to relationships and life.
God has always chosen to be in relationship with believers. Believers receive Him. God is the foundation from which we build relationships.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
7 Ways to Stay the Course of Joy Through Conflict
Sooner or later every relationship encounters disagreements. Sometimes we cannot even remember what we were discussing, but we do remember the general way we feel about the person we were having conflict with. Philippians 2 shows us that joy is an internal celebration of God and His ways that overflows externally and gives us seven ways to stay the course of joy through conflict.
1) Continuously chase a lifestyle of relationships filled with harmony and being of the same mind, intention and purpose. Some differences accompany disagreements others expose lifestyles that are diametrical. Prune off the diametrical. Seek to find the source of disagreements and humbly resolve them. Sometimes self-denial is needed. Other times assertiveness is needed.
True friends support and complement our life purposes. Choose relationships carefully. Much conflict can be eliminated by careful initial selection.
African American Bethann Hardison helped launch Click Models after the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. A time came when it was time for her to leave the nest and build her own. Nurtured by legal and model friends she started Bethann Management. These friends really helped. No attitudes and actions of, "I wish you well, but I'm not going to give you on-going resources to work with." A mother and daughter in the modeling business gave Hardison money for real-life bills like rent, utilities and whatever was necessary. Another legal friend negotiated the office space for Bethann Management and didn't charge her legal fees.
Hardison was called to be a leader in the fashion industry. Her friends may have disagreed from time to time regarding how she lead, but they encouraged her leadership and supported it in profuse, physical ways. Hardison was also wise enough not to keep friends who were opposed to her being a leader.
In a similar way Paul and the Philippian believers were in Christian ministry. They could not have shared as much joy if either one of them did not support each others ministry.
2) Helping people help themselves also helps ourselves. Friendship flourishes with reciprocity, so does almost everything else. In 1867 Marie Sklodowska was born in Warsaw, Poland. Early in life she showed enthusiasm about education and an extraordinary ability to learn. However, her father could not afford to educate her beyond early childhood. Instead of responding to the obstacle with fear, unbelief and self-limiting practices, Marie took a job as a teacher then later as a governess to fund her advanced educational dreams.
Marie paid for her sister's, Bronislawa's, education with her earnings from her governess job. When Bronislawa completed her studies, Bronislawa paid for Marie to attend university.
Both Bronislawa and Marie became scientists. By 1891 Marie studied at the world-famous Sorbonne in France. She also became the school's first female teacher. Marie married a physics professor in 1895. They devoted their lives to science. In 1903 Marie shared the Nobel Prize in physics with her husband, Pierre Curie, and Henri Becquerel. In 1911 Marie Sklodowska-Curie won a Nobel Prize for chemistry by herself.
Marie is the first person to earn two Nobel Prizes each in sciences. She developed a theory of radioactivity, techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes and discovered the elements polonium and radium.
Like Marie and Bronislawa helped each other to be educated, the Philippian believers and Paul helped each other share God and His Word, the Bible, with others.
3) Celebrate equality with humility. Black people are equal with white people and any other people. Women are equal with men. Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation Bible says, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Revealing equality through humility works better than hate. Jesus Christ never stopped being God and equal with God the Father and God the Holy Ghost even when He experienced violence instead of the respect due royalty. Black American and Christian Marian Anderson kept her wisdom, elegance and humility even when she was rejected from opportunities because of her race. Anderson wrote in My Lord, What a Morning in response to a music school rejecting her admission due to her blackness, " . . . I could not conceive of a person surrounded as she was with the joy that is music without having some sense of its beauty and understanding rub off on her. I did not argue with her or ask to see her superior. It was as if a cold, horrifying hand had been laid on me. I turned and walked out."
Walking out on evil is walking into good. God ensures that good is honored in due season. Jesus Christ was crucified at the instigation of the local religious leaders, but three days later He rose from the dead and shortly after the Christian church was founded as God's means to express goodness on earth. With donations from a local church, Anderson was able to take singing lessons with coach Giuseppe Boghetti. In 1924 she launched her career by giving her first recital at New York's Town Hall. Later she went on to have a flourishing singing career that broke through racial barriers including a 1939 Easter morning concert in Washington, D.C., to 75,000 present and millions by radio.
4) Be willing and ready to help. "The roots of happiness grow best in the soil of service," says educator and African American Ruth Love.
A husband was addicted to pornography. He confessed his addiction to his wife. He didn't try to blame her for his addiction or to blame his upbringing or someone or something else. He sought ways to overcome it. His wife was hurt by his addiction, but she was willing and ready to help her husband. She listened and talked with him to understand why he likes pornography and why its so hard to leave it. She didn't condemn him by thinking, saying or doing things that communicate, "You're so weak to be wrapped up in this trash." This couple participated in helpful activities like Christian counseling, and over time his pornography addiction was conquered.
5) Caress copiously through cheerfulness. When Paul wrote the book of Philippians he didn't know if his current jail sentence would end in death or release. Paul didn't shower people with self-pity, but rather he talked about and lived out God's wonderful ways of pursuing the best even amidst the bad. Paul probably didn't always feel cheerful, but he expressed an attitude and actions of cheerfulness because this is how God is and what pleases God. In Philippians 2:12 Amplified Bible Paul counsels us to behave, " . . . timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of God."
That's an incredibly large request for imperfect people to fulfill. The good news is we have a power source living on the inside to help us fulfill it if we tap into Him. Philippians 2:13 Amplified Bible says, "[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."
6) Cherish people in your real life and release comparisons and excessive thoughts about fantasy people. Not many people look like and have achieved career success like Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Hrithik Roshan and others. If we spend too much time reading about, looking at and thinking about the stars, then what's on earth may become disappointing and breed envy and other negative qualities.
Our spouses, family and friends have a lot of wonderful qualities. Think a lot about these. Love grows when we nurture it. Conversely when we don't, it dies.
It may take a lot of work to think about the good in our spouse, family or friends, but God put it there! Psalm 139:13-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
Five years ago you may have sent sexy and funny texts, emails and telephone calls to your spouse, but now it's mostly perfunctory. You used to enjoy the feel of mouth and tongue all over your spouse's body and yours, finding each others multiple moan zones, playing games like, "Does this feel good? How about this?," but now when was the last time you had sex? Try again. Ignite the flame of love that you let die, and keep it burning hot. Marriage is suppose to be filled with merriment.
7) Appreciate people especially spouses, family and friends. Sexual, emotional and other types of infidelity start by the negative way we are thinking about our spouse. Fault-finding is a negative mindset. Fault-finding is a focus on what is wrong with someone. We are betraying a sacred personal trust when we stew on the bad in our spouse instead of meditating on the good. If we have a low opinion of someone, then it is hard to feel good about them and to treat them well.
The Apostle Paul writes about his friend and co-worker, Epaphroditus, in Philippians 2:30 New Living Translation Bible, "For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away." Paul thanked Epaphroditus for what he did without any undertone of criticism. A fault-finding person might have wrote about Epaphroditus, "Epaphroditus wasn't too smart in the way he tried to help us. He allowed himself to work so much for other people that he got ill. It's a miracle that we got any help."
A fault-finding person wouldn't make Epaphroditus or others feel good. Instead of inspiring others to choose to be together, to experience joy, the words of a fault-finder are repelling.
Fault-finding spouses, family members and/or friends are setting themselves up to seek appreciation in someone else. We all desire to be appreciated. Some fault-finders are surprised to find themselves sharing intimate thoughts, feelings and desires with the opposite sex that lead into sexual, emotional or other types of infidelity; they failed to associate the source of infidelity in their thinking unappreciative thoughts about their spouse.
The joy of God is in believers. If we don't seem to be experiencing it, then we aren't cultivating it.
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Please share the juiciest details of the joy in your life. Sharing helps people grow.
1) Continuously chase a lifestyle of relationships filled with harmony and being of the same mind, intention and purpose. Some differences accompany disagreements others expose lifestyles that are diametrical. Prune off the diametrical. Seek to find the source of disagreements and humbly resolve them. Sometimes self-denial is needed. Other times assertiveness is needed.
True friends support and complement our life purposes. Choose relationships carefully. Much conflict can be eliminated by careful initial selection.
African American Bethann Hardison helped launch Click Models after the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. A time came when it was time for her to leave the nest and build her own. Nurtured by legal and model friends she started Bethann Management. These friends really helped. No attitudes and actions of, "I wish you well, but I'm not going to give you on-going resources to work with." A mother and daughter in the modeling business gave Hardison money for real-life bills like rent, utilities and whatever was necessary. Another legal friend negotiated the office space for Bethann Management and didn't charge her legal fees.
Hardison was called to be a leader in the fashion industry. Her friends may have disagreed from time to time regarding how she lead, but they encouraged her leadership and supported it in profuse, physical ways. Hardison was also wise enough not to keep friends who were opposed to her being a leader.
In a similar way Paul and the Philippian believers were in Christian ministry. They could not have shared as much joy if either one of them did not support each others ministry.
2) Helping people help themselves also helps ourselves. Friendship flourishes with reciprocity, so does almost everything else. In 1867 Marie Sklodowska was born in Warsaw, Poland. Early in life she showed enthusiasm about education and an extraordinary ability to learn. However, her father could not afford to educate her beyond early childhood. Instead of responding to the obstacle with fear, unbelief and self-limiting practices, Marie took a job as a teacher then later as a governess to fund her advanced educational dreams.
Marie paid for her sister's, Bronislawa's, education with her earnings from her governess job. When Bronislawa completed her studies, Bronislawa paid for Marie to attend university.
Both Bronislawa and Marie became scientists. By 1891 Marie studied at the world-famous Sorbonne in France. She also became the school's first female teacher. Marie married a physics professor in 1895. They devoted their lives to science. In 1903 Marie shared the Nobel Prize in physics with her husband, Pierre Curie, and Henri Becquerel. In 1911 Marie Sklodowska-Curie won a Nobel Prize for chemistry by herself.
Marie is the first person to earn two Nobel Prizes each in sciences. She developed a theory of radioactivity, techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes and discovered the elements polonium and radium.
Like Marie and Bronislawa helped each other to be educated, the Philippian believers and Paul helped each other share God and His Word, the Bible, with others.
3) Celebrate equality with humility. Black people are equal with white people and any other people. Women are equal with men. Galatians 3:28 New Living Translation Bible says, "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Revealing equality through humility works better than hate. Jesus Christ never stopped being God and equal with God the Father and God the Holy Ghost even when He experienced violence instead of the respect due royalty. Black American and Christian Marian Anderson kept her wisdom, elegance and humility even when she was rejected from opportunities because of her race. Anderson wrote in My Lord, What a Morning in response to a music school rejecting her admission due to her blackness, " . . . I could not conceive of a person surrounded as she was with the joy that is music without having some sense of its beauty and understanding rub off on her. I did not argue with her or ask to see her superior. It was as if a cold, horrifying hand had been laid on me. I turned and walked out."
Walking out on evil is walking into good. God ensures that good is honored in due season. Jesus Christ was crucified at the instigation of the local religious leaders, but three days later He rose from the dead and shortly after the Christian church was founded as God's means to express goodness on earth. With donations from a local church, Anderson was able to take singing lessons with coach Giuseppe Boghetti. In 1924 she launched her career by giving her first recital at New York's Town Hall. Later she went on to have a flourishing singing career that broke through racial barriers including a 1939 Easter morning concert in Washington, D.C., to 75,000 present and millions by radio.
4) Be willing and ready to help. "The roots of happiness grow best in the soil of service," says educator and African American Ruth Love.
A husband was addicted to pornography. He confessed his addiction to his wife. He didn't try to blame her for his addiction or to blame his upbringing or someone or something else. He sought ways to overcome it. His wife was hurt by his addiction, but she was willing and ready to help her husband. She listened and talked with him to understand why he likes pornography and why its so hard to leave it. She didn't condemn him by thinking, saying or doing things that communicate, "You're so weak to be wrapped up in this trash." This couple participated in helpful activities like Christian counseling, and over time his pornography addiction was conquered.
5) Caress copiously through cheerfulness. When Paul wrote the book of Philippians he didn't know if his current jail sentence would end in death or release. Paul didn't shower people with self-pity, but rather he talked about and lived out God's wonderful ways of pursuing the best even amidst the bad. Paul probably didn't always feel cheerful, but he expressed an attitude and actions of cheerfulness because this is how God is and what pleases God. In Philippians 2:12 Amplified Bible Paul counsels us to behave, " . . . timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of God."
That's an incredibly large request for imperfect people to fulfill. The good news is we have a power source living on the inside to help us fulfill it if we tap into Him. Philippians 2:13 Amplified Bible says, "[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight."
6) Cherish people in your real life and release comparisons and excessive thoughts about fantasy people. Not many people look like and have achieved career success like Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Denzel Washington, Hrithik Roshan and others. If we spend too much time reading about, looking at and thinking about the stars, then what's on earth may become disappointing and breed envy and other negative qualities.
Our spouses, family and friends have a lot of wonderful qualities. Think a lot about these. Love grows when we nurture it. Conversely when we don't, it dies.
It may take a lot of work to think about the good in our spouse, family or friends, but God put it there! Psalm 139:13-14 New Living Translation Bible says, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
Five years ago you may have sent sexy and funny texts, emails and telephone calls to your spouse, but now it's mostly perfunctory. You used to enjoy the feel of mouth and tongue all over your spouse's body and yours, finding each others multiple moan zones, playing games like, "Does this feel good? How about this?," but now when was the last time you had sex? Try again. Ignite the flame of love that you let die, and keep it burning hot. Marriage is suppose to be filled with merriment.
7) Appreciate people especially spouses, family and friends. Sexual, emotional and other types of infidelity start by the negative way we are thinking about our spouse. Fault-finding is a negative mindset. Fault-finding is a focus on what is wrong with someone. We are betraying a sacred personal trust when we stew on the bad in our spouse instead of meditating on the good. If we have a low opinion of someone, then it is hard to feel good about them and to treat them well.
The Apostle Paul writes about his friend and co-worker, Epaphroditus, in Philippians 2:30 New Living Translation Bible, "For he risked his life for the work of Christ, and he was at the point of death while doing for me what you couldn’t do from far away." Paul thanked Epaphroditus for what he did without any undertone of criticism. A fault-finding person might have wrote about Epaphroditus, "Epaphroditus wasn't too smart in the way he tried to help us. He allowed himself to work so much for other people that he got ill. It's a miracle that we got any help."
A fault-finding person wouldn't make Epaphroditus or others feel good. Instead of inspiring others to choose to be together, to experience joy, the words of a fault-finder are repelling.
Fault-finding spouses, family members and/or friends are setting themselves up to seek appreciation in someone else. We all desire to be appreciated. Some fault-finders are surprised to find themselves sharing intimate thoughts, feelings and desires with the opposite sex that lead into sexual, emotional or other types of infidelity; they failed to associate the source of infidelity in their thinking unappreciative thoughts about their spouse.
The joy of God is in believers. If we don't seem to be experiencing it, then we aren't cultivating it.
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