True love comes with faithfulness. Matthew 19:9 Amplified Bible says, "I say to you: whoever dismisses (repudiates, divorces) his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
Christian Actors Denzel and Pauletta Washington wed in 1983, and this year are celebrating 30 years of marriage. Denzel Washington says, "We live in a time--and it's not for me to judge anyone--when people give up too easily. It's a disposable society; get another [spouse]. I was talking to this guy when [we had been] married 23 years who said, 'Man, I've been married three times, and it still don't add up to 23 years!' Well, you got to work at it;" Pauletta Washington says, "For me, the 'love' in the love story is how you come through the trials. The passion, the lust--that's easy. The love story is how you come out in love after hardship" ("Staying Power," Ebony, August 2013, Shirley Henderson.)
A proverb from Ethiopia and Kenya says, "Hasty marriages bring hasty divorces." Marriage is for a lifetime, so why not take considerable time to get to know your future spouse before marrying? Pauletta and Denzel Washington dated for six years before they wed.
No matter how long or short you are together before marriage live a life of complete trust in God. God has a unique plan for each person.
Luke 11:4 New Living Translation Bible says we can ask God, "and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation." If you are divorced, had sex outside of marriage or committed some other sin, receive God's forgiveness, forgive yourself, forgive others and stop sinning.
The Chinese invented the kite. God wants His creyentes (believers) to live higher lives, not lives weighed down with sin or anything that hinders us from living the best life God set up for us before He created the earth. International Bible Minister Joyce Meyer had a divorce, but today she is enjoying a marriage with Dave Meyer that has lasted more than 40 years.
What are some other lasting love stories? Write to:
Michele F. Jackson
P. O. Box 2106
Woodbridge, Virginia 22195
Follow Michele F. Jackson on http://www.Twitter.com/Michelelove30.
Showing posts with label Divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Divorce. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Money and Marriage
"When Joe, 64, a computer professional in Massachusetts, married for the first time, he was 31 and very in love.
"She was attracted to me because I had structure; I was attracted to her because she was a lot of fun," said Joe.
He had noticed some financial red flags while they were dating: She always carried a credit card balance and liked buying expensive gifts for people. Still, he said, he wasn't fazed: "I never thought about it, because it wasn't my problem."
After they married, though, his new wife's spending habits became Joe's problem.
"She could drain a checking account in no time," he recalled. Joe describes himself as an avid saver, and his and his wife's financial differences became the cause of bad fights. "I couldn't stand being broke all the time and really struggling to pay the bills, and she didn't like the restriction of me saying we can't afford this," he said. 'We kind of drove each other into corners. She became more irresponsible and I became more rigid." Joe and his wife divorced after three years, largely because of financial differences," writes Stacey Vanek Smith in the March 26, 2013 The New York Times article "Money Talk Before Marriage A Tip You Can't Disparage."
Judas Iscariot divorced Jesus Christ in about three years also, and money seems to have played a major role. Judas, one of Jesus' original 12 apostles, didn't approve of Jesus' money management methods. In the Bible book of Matthew chapter 26 after a woman pours an alabaster flask of very expensive perfume on Jesus' head, Judas divorces Jesus.
"An archaic and infrequently used name for the Wednesday before Easter is "Spy Wednesday", named for Judas' becoming a spy for the Sanhedrin," writes Joe Carter, editor for The Gospel Coalition, in his March 25, 2013, article "9 Things You Should Know About Holy Week." For 30 pieces of silver Judas tells the Sanhedrin where to capture Jesus. Once Jesus is captured, later in the week on Friday Jesus is crucified. On Sunday, Jesus rose from the dead, having paid the sin debt for each person who will receive Him into their life for eternity.
The Chinese invented paper money which they originally called "flying money" because it was so light and easily flew out of people's hand. The generosity of Jesus frustrated and disappointed Judas. Money seemed to fly out of Jesus' hand. Judas wanted enough on hand for his desires, including theft.
An African proverb says, "Work is good, provided you do not forget to live." Jesus sees money as a tool to live well and to do good. Jesus says in Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)."
The more money possessed, the more responsibility to do good. The Complete Jewish Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:17-19, "As for those who do have riches in this present world, charge them not to be proud and not to let their hopes rest on the uncertainties of riches but to rest their hopes on God, who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment. Charge them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, to be generous and ready to share. In this way they will treasure up for themselves a good foundation for the future, so that they may lay hold of the real life."
Conflict over differences in the management of money and sex are among the top reasons husbands and wives do not have un matrimonio de pasión y sorpresa and some end up seeking un divorcio. Instead of allowing differences to divide, why not ask God to help you find a way to diversity in unity? God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Father are different and unified. Jesus Christ prayed for believers in John 17:21 English Standard Version Bible, "That they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me."
What are some ways Jesus Christ has brought diversity in unity to your marriage or your singleness?
"She was attracted to me because I had structure; I was attracted to her because she was a lot of fun," said Joe.
He had noticed some financial red flags while they were dating: She always carried a credit card balance and liked buying expensive gifts for people. Still, he said, he wasn't fazed: "I never thought about it, because it wasn't my problem."
After they married, though, his new wife's spending habits became Joe's problem.
"She could drain a checking account in no time," he recalled. Joe describes himself as an avid saver, and his and his wife's financial differences became the cause of bad fights. "I couldn't stand being broke all the time and really struggling to pay the bills, and she didn't like the restriction of me saying we can't afford this," he said. 'We kind of drove each other into corners. She became more irresponsible and I became more rigid." Joe and his wife divorced after three years, largely because of financial differences," writes Stacey Vanek Smith in the March 26, 2013 The New York Times article "Money Talk Before Marriage A Tip You Can't Disparage."
Judas Iscariot divorced Jesus Christ in about three years also, and money seems to have played a major role. Judas, one of Jesus' original 12 apostles, didn't approve of Jesus' money management methods. In the Bible book of Matthew chapter 26 after a woman pours an alabaster flask of very expensive perfume on Jesus' head, Judas divorces Jesus.
"An archaic and infrequently used name for the Wednesday before Easter is "Spy Wednesday", named for Judas' becoming a spy for the Sanhedrin," writes Joe Carter, editor for The Gospel Coalition, in his March 25, 2013, article "9 Things You Should Know About Holy Week." For 30 pieces of silver Judas tells the Sanhedrin where to capture Jesus. Once Jesus is captured, later in the week on Friday Jesus is crucified. On Sunday, Jesus rose from the dead, having paid the sin debt for each person who will receive Him into their life for eternity.
The Chinese invented paper money which they originally called "flying money" because it was so light and easily flew out of people's hand. The generosity of Jesus frustrated and disappointed Judas. Money seemed to fly out of Jesus' hand. Judas wanted enough on hand for his desires, including theft.
An African proverb says, "Work is good, provided you do not forget to live." Jesus sees money as a tool to live well and to do good. Jesus says in Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)."
The more money possessed, the more responsibility to do good. The Complete Jewish Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:17-19, "As for those who do have riches in this present world, charge them not to be proud and not to let their hopes rest on the uncertainties of riches but to rest their hopes on God, who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment. Charge them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, to be generous and ready to share. In this way they will treasure up for themselves a good foundation for the future, so that they may lay hold of the real life."
Conflict over differences in the management of money and sex are among the top reasons husbands and wives do not have un matrimonio de pasión y sorpresa and some end up seeking un divorcio. Instead of allowing differences to divide, why not ask God to help you find a way to diversity in unity? God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Father are different and unified. Jesus Christ prayed for believers in John 17:21 English Standard Version Bible, "That they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me."
What are some ways Jesus Christ has brought diversity in unity to your marriage or your singleness?
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Only One is All Good
"And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone," (Mark 10:18 English Standard Version Bible.)
Yet we often except near perfection in people we marry, in leaders and in others. Believers are saints, and saints sometimes sin. Jesus Christ taught us to ask Him for forgiveness daily. Luke 11:2-4 the Message Bible says, "So he said, “When you pray, say,
Father,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.”"
Harriet Tubman was called Moses after the Biblical Moses because she led hundreds of African Americans out of slavery through trips on the Underground Railroad, not a train but a network of people who hid and helped slaves escape slavery and live in freedom. Large rewards were offered for Harriet Tubman's capture, but with God on her side she was never caught, and she never lost a passenger.
Harriet also married, John Tubman. John was a black man who was born free, but he treated Harriet as if she were his slave and said that if Harriet tried to escape slavery he would tell her slave master!
Harriet hid her plans to escape slavery from her husband. In 1849 traveling through the Underground Railroad, following the North Star, Harriet escaped from slavery on the Brodas plantation in Eastern Shore Maryland. Harriet said, "I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person now that I was free." She later said, "There was such glory over everything; the sun came like gold through the trees and over the fields, and I felt like I was in heaven."
Harriet could have stayed in "heaven," but she decided to go back to slave-states repeatedly to rescue slaves including her children, her brothers (she had 11 siblings) and their families, her elderly parents (Harriet Green and Benjamin Ross) and many others.
Her husband, John Tubman was a hard-hearted man. On one trip when Harriet came back to the Brodas plantation, her husband refused to come to a non-slave state. Harriet didn't waste the trip, she rescued some slaves. John Tubman married another woman.
Some of us are married to people we should have never married, or in relationships that we should have never entered or in other difficult relationships. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 Complete Jewish Bible says, "To the rest I say — I, not the Lord: if any brother has a wife who is not a believer, and she is satisfied to go on living with him, he should not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband who is satisfied to go on living with her, she is not to leave him. For the unbelieving husband has been set aside for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been set aside for God by the brother — otherwise your children would be “unclean,” but as it is, they are set aside for God. But if the unbelieving spouse separates himself, let him be separated. In circumstances like these, the brother or sister is not enslaved — God has called you to a life of peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
When her marriage failed, Harriet kept on living and doing good. Harriet served in the Civil War on the side of the Union as a scout, spy and nurse. She was the first woman in U.S. military history to lead an armed expedition. In the Combahee River Raid Harriet led a group of mostly black soldiers in an audacious escape that liberated more than 750 enslaved persons. Movie material? Proverbs-style women are warriors. Read my article "Warrior Women,"
Being a warrior does not mean that a woman lacks nurturing capacity. After the Civil War Harriet went to live on a small farm in Auburn, New York. She eventually turned her home into a home for poor and elderly African Americans.
Harriet was also active in the women's movement. She worked with women like Susan B. Anthony to fight for women's right to vote.
Dr. Derek Grier says in his Ministry Minute "Strong Marriage," "We really have no idea how selfish and how self-centered we are until we commit to spend the rest of our lives loving and making decisions with another person." Read my article "Divorced = Eliminated from the Race?"
Just because John Tubman had no sense to appreciate the woman he had, didn't mean others didn't recognize Harriet's value. Abolitionist John Brown called her, "General Tubman." Solider Nelson Davis and Harriet Tubman married in 1869.
What other warrior women are like Harriet Tubman?
Douglas Brinkley writes in The Washington Post March 1, 2013, article "What would Parks do? Honor Tubman," "What would have truly perturbed her was that Obama has yet to issue an executive order to create a national monument for Harriet Tubman. The paperwork is ready; it just needs the president's signature. . . . Call or write the White House and urge the president to pick up his pen on behalf of history."
Yet we often except near perfection in people we marry, in leaders and in others. Believers are saints, and saints sometimes sin. Jesus Christ taught us to ask Him for forgiveness daily. Luke 11:2-4 the Message Bible says, "So he said, “When you pray, say,
Father,
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.”"
Harriet Tubman was called Moses after the Biblical Moses because she led hundreds of African Americans out of slavery through trips on the Underground Railroad, not a train but a network of people who hid and helped slaves escape slavery and live in freedom. Large rewards were offered for Harriet Tubman's capture, but with God on her side she was never caught, and she never lost a passenger.
Harriet also married, John Tubman. John was a black man who was born free, but he treated Harriet as if she were his slave and said that if Harriet tried to escape slavery he would tell her slave master!
Harriet hid her plans to escape slavery from her husband. In 1849 traveling through the Underground Railroad, following the North Star, Harriet escaped from slavery on the Brodas plantation in Eastern Shore Maryland. Harriet said, "I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person now that I was free." She later said, "There was such glory over everything; the sun came like gold through the trees and over the fields, and I felt like I was in heaven."
Harriet could have stayed in "heaven," but she decided to go back to slave-states repeatedly to rescue slaves including her children, her brothers (she had 11 siblings) and their families, her elderly parents (Harriet Green and Benjamin Ross) and many others.
Her husband, John Tubman was a hard-hearted man. On one trip when Harriet came back to the Brodas plantation, her husband refused to come to a non-slave state. Harriet didn't waste the trip, she rescued some slaves. John Tubman married another woman.
Some of us are married to people we should have never married, or in relationships that we should have never entered or in other difficult relationships. 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 Complete Jewish Bible says, "To the rest I say — I, not the Lord: if any brother has a wife who is not a believer, and she is satisfied to go on living with him, he should not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband who is satisfied to go on living with her, she is not to leave him. For the unbelieving husband has been set aside for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been set aside for God by the brother — otherwise your children would be “unclean,” but as it is, they are set aside for God. But if the unbelieving spouse separates himself, let him be separated. In circumstances like these, the brother or sister is not enslaved — God has called you to a life of peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?"
When her marriage failed, Harriet kept on living and doing good. Harriet served in the Civil War on the side of the Union as a scout, spy and nurse. She was the first woman in U.S. military history to lead an armed expedition. In the Combahee River Raid Harriet led a group of mostly black soldiers in an audacious escape that liberated more than 750 enslaved persons. Movie material? Proverbs-style women are warriors. Read my article "Warrior Women,"
Being a warrior does not mean that a woman lacks nurturing capacity. After the Civil War Harriet went to live on a small farm in Auburn, New York. She eventually turned her home into a home for poor and elderly African Americans.
Harriet was also active in the women's movement. She worked with women like Susan B. Anthony to fight for women's right to vote.
Dr. Derek Grier says in his Ministry Minute "Strong Marriage," "We really have no idea how selfish and how self-centered we are until we commit to spend the rest of our lives loving and making decisions with another person." Read my article "Divorced = Eliminated from the Race?"
Just because John Tubman had no sense to appreciate the woman he had, didn't mean others didn't recognize Harriet's value. Abolitionist John Brown called her, "General Tubman." Solider Nelson Davis and Harriet Tubman married in 1869.
What other warrior women are like Harriet Tubman?
Douglas Brinkley writes in The Washington Post March 1, 2013, article "What would Parks do? Honor Tubman," "What would have truly perturbed her was that Obama has yet to issue an executive order to create a national monument for Harriet Tubman. The paperwork is ready; it just needs the president's signature. . . . Call or write the White House and urge the president to pick up his pen on behalf of history."
Monday, February 25, 2013
Paid Leave is Good for Us
Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:17-18 English Standard Version Bible, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven."
America is a country filled with Jews and Christians, yet we have unpaid leave. Some countries in Europe and in Asia have one-year and even longer times of paid leave available. In the Old Testament God implemented many feasts and Sabbaths. Some of these holidays lasted for more than one day. God is for both work and rest both with generous, abundant economic provision. Read my article "Paid Leave Please."
It is critical that sick leave and other types of leave from work be paid leave, so that both men and women can meet the spiritual, relational and economic needs of their families.
Short-term and long-term paid leave should not be exclusively connected to sickness or disability; these types of paid leave should also be connected to improving relationships and self. Deuteronomy 24:5 Amplified Bible says, "When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken."
America has a nearly 50 percent divorce rate. Perhaps time off to work on self and relationships could improve marriages, families and people and also employment productivity. Troubled relationships take a toll on employment productivity.
Making leave benefits available to one group of people and unavailable to another group of people can arouse jealousy. Jealousy can destroy team work. Proverbs 27:4 Complete Jewish Bible says, "Fury is cruel and anger overwhelming, but who can stand up to jealousy?" Proverbios 27:4 Dios Habla Hoy dice, "La ira es cruel, y el enojo destructivo, pero los celos son incontrolables."
Singles and married people should have access to short-term and long-term paid leave of one year or more not only connected to illness, pregnancy or disability, but also for no reason necessary to reveal. Not only where newly weds taking off from employment, so were others in Old Testament times. Deuteronomy 20:5-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "“Then the officers of the army must address the troops and say, ‘Has anyone here just built a new house but not yet dedicated it? If so, you may go home! You might be killed in the battle, and someone else would dedicate your house. Has anyone here just planted a vineyard but not yet eaten any of its fruit? If so, you may go home! You might die in battle, and someone else would eat the first fruit. Has anyone here just become engaged to a woman but not yet married her? Well, you may go home and get married! You might die in the battle, and someone else would marry her.’“Then the officers will also say, ‘Is anyone here afraid or worried? If you are, you may go home before you frighten anyone else.’"
Let's talk about paid leave. A Chinese proverb says, "Clapping with one hand produces no sound;" it means, "It takes two people to enter a dialogue."
What are your employment paid-leave policies?
A Maasai of East Africa riddle asks, "Who has more courage than a Maasai warrior?"
Answer: "Two Maasai warriors."
Es posible to change paid-leave policies in America with enough support to do so. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Amplified Bible says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."
What are some novel ways to increase paid leave?
Does anyone have an employer who allows employees to choose more leave instead of more income as the reward for a positive annual employment review?
Does anyone have an employer who allows them to chose among benefits and customize their benefit package?
God is for both work and rest both with generous, abundant economic provision.
Four-term former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who contracted polio, became paralyzed in his legs and learned to use his hands to drive, said, "We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that is bad economics."
America is a country filled with Jews and Christians, yet we have unpaid leave. Some countries in Europe and in Asia have one-year and even longer times of paid leave available. In the Old Testament God implemented many feasts and Sabbaths. Some of these holidays lasted for more than one day. God is for both work and rest both with generous, abundant economic provision. Read my article "Paid Leave Please."
It is critical that sick leave and other types of leave from work be paid leave, so that both men and women can meet the spiritual, relational and economic needs of their families.
Short-term and long-term paid leave should not be exclusively connected to sickness or disability; these types of paid leave should also be connected to improving relationships and self. Deuteronomy 24:5 Amplified Bible says, "When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken."
America has a nearly 50 percent divorce rate. Perhaps time off to work on self and relationships could improve marriages, families and people and also employment productivity. Troubled relationships take a toll on employment productivity.
Making leave benefits available to one group of people and unavailable to another group of people can arouse jealousy. Jealousy can destroy team work. Proverbs 27:4 Complete Jewish Bible says, "Fury is cruel and anger overwhelming, but who can stand up to jealousy?" Proverbios 27:4 Dios Habla Hoy dice, "La ira es cruel, y el enojo destructivo, pero los celos son incontrolables."
Singles and married people should have access to short-term and long-term paid leave of one year or more not only connected to illness, pregnancy or disability, but also for no reason necessary to reveal. Not only where newly weds taking off from employment, so were others in Old Testament times. Deuteronomy 20:5-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "“Then the officers of the army must address the troops and say, ‘Has anyone here just built a new house but not yet dedicated it? If so, you may go home! You might be killed in the battle, and someone else would dedicate your house. Has anyone here just planted a vineyard but not yet eaten any of its fruit? If so, you may go home! You might die in battle, and someone else would eat the first fruit. Has anyone here just become engaged to a woman but not yet married her? Well, you may go home and get married! You might die in the battle, and someone else would marry her.’“Then the officers will also say, ‘Is anyone here afraid or worried? If you are, you may go home before you frighten anyone else.’"
Let's talk about paid leave. A Chinese proverb says, "Clapping with one hand produces no sound;" it means, "It takes two people to enter a dialogue."
What are your employment paid-leave policies?
A Maasai of East Africa riddle asks, "Who has more courage than a Maasai warrior?"
Answer: "Two Maasai warriors."
Es posible to change paid-leave policies in America with enough support to do so. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Amplified Bible says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor; For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken."
What are some novel ways to increase paid leave?
Does anyone have an employer who allows employees to choose more leave instead of more income as the reward for a positive annual employment review?
Does anyone have an employer who allows them to chose among benefits and customize their benefit package?
God is for both work and rest both with generous, abundant economic provision.
Four-term former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who contracted polio, became paralyzed in his legs and learned to use his hands to drive, said, "We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals; we know now that is bad economics."
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Single Sexuality
Sharon Jayson in her March 22, 2012, usatoday.com article, "Nearly 40% of women today have never been married" reports, "The data, out today from the National Center for Health Statistics, are based on 22,682 in-person interviews from 2006 to 2010 with men and women (not couples) ages 15 to 44. Among the 12,279 women studied, the percentage of never-marrieds rose to 38% from 33% in 1995.
The highest percentage of women who have never married was among blacks (55%), followed by U.S.-born Hispanics (49%), Asians (39%) and whites (34%)."
Most adults in America have had sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage can feel pretty good, but after a while some wonder maybe marriage is better?
Most Americans have also probably heard, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14 King James Version Bible).
Living beyond or beneath the Bible has negative consequences. We are harmed and even die physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually whenever we don't live in the ways of the Word. Moses was close to God. He spoke face-to-face with God. Moses lived in his right mind and in full use of his body right up until his death at 120. He would have lived longer, if he had not disobeyed God in striking the Rock.
Disobedience is deadly. Obedience to God opens opportunities for eminent, enjoyable living. Read my article, "Heart Disease, Depression and Christianity."
God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Many people globally are not experiencing God's best in sexuality and sex due to sexual sin. Read my article, "Sexual Dissatisfaction."
Leaving the sin of partner-sex outside of marriage is tough and may take a long time. For me it took a number of years and did not happen until I had a child while single. Sadly, like many others both non-Christian and Christian, I was having partner-sex outside of marriage.
Has anyone found the negative side of single parenting to be like being married without the benefits?
A Rosa Heyman Redbook "25 reasons why married sex is better" article says about married people, "By now, you've had a lot of sex together. Part of the fun of having such a long history is that you can talk about your favorite times and do your best to recreate the heat!"
All the arguments against premarital sex based on a desire to avoid HIV and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and to use contraception didn't do much for me and many others. These things seem easily managable. God used relationship training to give me revelation on the destructive nature of sin and the true love of God.
Children have a positive influence on our relationship with God. Genesis 5:22 Amplified Bible says, "Enoch walked [in habitual fellowship] with God after the birth of Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters."
Por favor me ayude. (Please help me.) What has God taught you about partner sex?
While we do a lot of things that God does not approve of, God still loves all people all the time.
God loves all kinds of singles: singles who have never been married, singles with children, divorced people, singles without children, singles living in various types of non-married-sexual relationships, singles who are victorious over the gay lifestyle, singles who are not victorious over the gay lifestyle. Are there other types of singles?
Many singles enjoy being single. Many singles would also like to be married.
What are your favorite love stories?
Marriage is for multiple types of people. In the movie, My Name Is Khan, Rizvan has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a form of autism. He is rejected at school because his autism behavior is not understood or accepted, so his mom finds another way to educate him. When his mom dies, Rizvan moves from India to San Francisco, California, to live with his brother, Zakir. Zakir gets him a job as a salesman for Mehnaz Herbal Beauty Products. Through his job Rizvan meets Mandira. Eventually Rizvan and Mandira marry.
A lot of the tension in My Name Is Khan revolves around people's fear and ignorance of autism and differences in people. The tension in My Name Is Khan is like the mommy wars in American culture.
Sometimes in American culture we forget about loving people extravagantly and go to war over our misfortunes, challenges and differences. Whether we are mothers whose full-time work is to raise children like Pauletta Washington (wife of actor Denzel Washington) or mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners like Naomi Zacharias of Wellspring International, Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries or Cookie Lee of Cookie Lee Jewelry, we all have God-given purpose and roles in life. And this is also true for women who are complete and successful as singles without children like the first African-American female U.S. secretary of state, Condolezza Rice, who is currently a CBS News contributor. Not every woman wants to say, "Sou casada". ("I am married.") Read my article, "Something Horrible Happened?"
We don't need a big name for God to care about us and call us into ministry. Ministry is for all people including divorced people. Being widowed or divorced does not have to mean we are done living.
Who are some non-famous people doing good singles and/or married ministry?
No state of being can separate us from the love of God. God chooses all kinds of people to love, and His love is eternal. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:38-39 Amplified Bible, "For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The highest percentage of women who have never married was among blacks (55%), followed by U.S.-born Hispanics (49%), Asians (39%) and whites (34%)."
Most adults in America have had sex outside of marriage. Sex outside of marriage can feel pretty good, but after a while some wonder maybe marriage is better?
Most Americans have also probably heard, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14 King James Version Bible).
Living beyond or beneath the Bible has negative consequences. We are harmed and even die physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually whenever we don't live in the ways of the Word. Moses was close to God. He spoke face-to-face with God. Moses lived in his right mind and in full use of his body right up until his death at 120. He would have lived longer, if he had not disobeyed God in striking the Rock.
Disobedience is deadly. Obedience to God opens opportunities for eminent, enjoyable living. Read my article, "Heart Disease, Depression and Christianity."
God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Many people globally are not experiencing God's best in sexuality and sex due to sexual sin. Read my article, "Sexual Dissatisfaction."
Leaving the sin of partner-sex outside of marriage is tough and may take a long time. For me it took a number of years and did not happen until I had a child while single. Sadly, like many others both non-Christian and Christian, I was having partner-sex outside of marriage.
Has anyone found the negative side of single parenting to be like being married without the benefits?
A Rosa Heyman Redbook "25 reasons why married sex is better" article says about married people, "By now, you've had a lot of sex together. Part of the fun of having such a long history is that you can talk about your favorite times and do your best to recreate the heat!"
All the arguments against premarital sex based on a desire to avoid HIV and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and to use contraception didn't do much for me and many others. These things seem easily managable. God used relationship training to give me revelation on the destructive nature of sin and the true love of God.
Children have a positive influence on our relationship with God. Genesis 5:22 Amplified Bible says, "Enoch walked [in habitual fellowship] with God after the birth of Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters."
Por favor me ayude. (Please help me.) What has God taught you about partner sex?
While we do a lot of things that God does not approve of, God still loves all people all the time.
God loves all kinds of singles: singles who have never been married, singles with children, divorced people, singles without children, singles living in various types of non-married-sexual relationships, singles who are victorious over the gay lifestyle, singles who are not victorious over the gay lifestyle. Are there other types of singles?
Many singles enjoy being single. Many singles would also like to be married.
What are your favorite love stories?
Marriage is for multiple types of people. In the movie, My Name Is Khan, Rizvan has Asperger's Syndrome, which is a form of autism. He is rejected at school because his autism behavior is not understood or accepted, so his mom finds another way to educate him. When his mom dies, Rizvan moves from India to San Francisco, California, to live with his brother, Zakir. Zakir gets him a job as a salesman for Mehnaz Herbal Beauty Products. Through his job Rizvan meets Mandira. Eventually Rizvan and Mandira marry.
A lot of the tension in My Name Is Khan revolves around people's fear and ignorance of autism and differences in people. The tension in My Name Is Khan is like the mommy wars in American culture.
Sometimes in American culture we forget about loving people extravagantly and go to war over our misfortunes, challenges and differences. Whether we are mothers whose full-time work is to raise children like Pauletta Washington (wife of actor Denzel Washington) or mothers who are also employees, business owners, non-profit employees and non-profit owners like Naomi Zacharias of Wellspring International, Joyce Meyer of Joyce Meyer Ministries or Cookie Lee of Cookie Lee Jewelry, we all have God-given purpose and roles in life. And this is also true for women who are complete and successful as singles without children like the first African-American female U.S. secretary of state, Condolezza Rice, who is currently a CBS News contributor. Not every woman wants to say, "Sou casada". ("I am married.") Read my article, "Something Horrible Happened?"
We don't need a big name for God to care about us and call us into ministry. Ministry is for all people including divorced people. Being widowed or divorced does not have to mean we are done living.
Who are some non-famous people doing good singles and/or married ministry?
No state of being can separate us from the love of God. God chooses all kinds of people to love, and His love is eternal. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:38-39 Amplified Bible, "For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Friday, February 8, 2013
Divorced = Eliminated from the Race?
Thank God for Hazel Scott. Before Oprah there was Hazel. Hazel was the first African-American woman to host her own nationally syndicated television show in musical format.
In a time when most television hosts were men, The Hazel Scott Show aired on July 3, 1950.
Sometimes people do not notice a mistake, or they are afraid to point out a mistake. The general manager of the mint in Chile was fired in February 2010 after thousands of 50-peso coins were discovered with the name of the country spelled Chiie instead of Chile. The coins had been in circulation for two years before the error was reported.
Sometimes people create situations. Scott was eventually accused of being a Communist or Communist sympathizer, her contract was not renewed and the show was canceled in September 1950.
Multi-talented Scott played piano, trumpet and saxophone professionally. She sang and acted on Broadway and in film, arranged songs, wrote songs and didn't let racism or sexism stop her from working the dynamic range of her talents and serving as a Civil Rights activist.
Scott was born June 11, 1920, in Port au Spain, Trinidad. As a toddler she began to play piano. When she was a tween in 1932 her father, R. Thomas Scott, died.
Scott and her mother, Alma Long Scott, toured together. The younger Scott made her first appearance at Carnegie Hall, playing Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-flat minor, Op. 23.
Scott was playing regular nightclub gigs by age 15, started her own radio show the following year and performed in her first Broadway revue when she was 18. Read my article, "Youth Uprising," for more on talented youth. Please leave an on-line comment about talented youth and/or African-Americans.
Life was not perfect. Later in life, Scott attempted suicide twice. Please leave an on-line comment about Satan trying to take out someone successful who bounced back.
In 1945 in Connecticut Scott, a Catholic, married Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., a Baptist minister and U.S. Congressman, who was the first person from New York of African American descent to be elected to Congress and became a powerful and prominent national politician. The couple had one child, Adam Clayton Powell III, who is the first black to direct a major national radio news network, National Public Radio.
Scott and Powell Jr. divorced in 1960 after a separation. I don't know why they divorced. Bishop T.D. Jakes says in his sermon, Love Story, "Marriage does not work until a man dies. There's a wild nature in him that has to die, and every now and then it kicks up. And you got to kill it again. And if you don't kill it, it will destroy what you got." Jakes goes on to say in Love Story, "Christ gave Himself. Let the men say, 'Give it up.'" International Christian Minister Ravi Zacharias says about a husband and wife, "The Bible tells us to mutually submit to one another." International Christian Minister Joyce Meyer says in her sermon, Hindrances to a Good Marriage, that her ministry did a questionnaire and the number one and two reasons the respondents reported for trouble in marriage are:
1) lack of communication/not knowing how to communicate
2) selfishness/pride.
Dr. Derek Grier says in his Ministry Minute "Strong Marriage," "We really have no idea how selfish and how self-centered we are until we commit to spend the rest of our lives loving and making decisions with another person."
Please leave an on-line comment about the causes for trouble in marriage and/or divorce.
Scott did not succumb to a pessimistic view of life: "All good things must come to an end;" "If it is not one thing, it's another;" "This is as good as it gets." Cavett Robert says, "If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one." After her divorce Scott went to Paris, France.
Learn to relate well, so that you can date and mate well.
Scott married Ezio Bedin, a comedian, on January 19, 1961.
Scott opened the door for African Americans in the arts. Today America and the world is filled with the talents of African-American entertainers who dared to try something different using the talents God gave them.
God made it so that no two snowflakes are the same. Likewise even though today more than 7 billion people live on planet earth, God made it so that no two people are alike. Even twins have different fingerprints and odor prints! By swabbing the scene of a crime, investigators can compare the scent samples taken from suspects with those taken at the scene of a crime.
God likes diversity displayed in daily living. Dr. Cindy Trim says,"Revelation without application is frustration." Let your unique light shine according to Matthew 5:14-16 New Living Translation Bible which says, "You are the light of the world--like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."
Please share an on-line comment reporting good deeds.
In a time when most television hosts were men, The Hazel Scott Show aired on July 3, 1950.
Sometimes people do not notice a mistake, or they are afraid to point out a mistake. The general manager of the mint in Chile was fired in February 2010 after thousands of 50-peso coins were discovered with the name of the country spelled Chiie instead of Chile. The coins had been in circulation for two years before the error was reported.
Sometimes people create situations. Scott was eventually accused of being a Communist or Communist sympathizer, her contract was not renewed and the show was canceled in September 1950.
Multi-talented Scott played piano, trumpet and saxophone professionally. She sang and acted on Broadway and in film, arranged songs, wrote songs and didn't let racism or sexism stop her from working the dynamic range of her talents and serving as a Civil Rights activist.
Scott was born June 11, 1920, in Port au Spain, Trinidad. As a toddler she began to play piano. When she was a tween in 1932 her father, R. Thomas Scott, died.
Scott and her mother, Alma Long Scott, toured together. The younger Scott made her first appearance at Carnegie Hall, playing Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1 in B-flat minor, Op. 23.
Scott was playing regular nightclub gigs by age 15, started her own radio show the following year and performed in her first Broadway revue when she was 18. Read my article, "Youth Uprising," for more on talented youth. Please leave an on-line comment about talented youth and/or African-Americans.
Life was not perfect. Later in life, Scott attempted suicide twice. Please leave an on-line comment about Satan trying to take out someone successful who bounced back.
In 1945 in Connecticut Scott, a Catholic, married Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., a Baptist minister and U.S. Congressman, who was the first person from New York of African American descent to be elected to Congress and became a powerful and prominent national politician. The couple had one child, Adam Clayton Powell III, who is the first black to direct a major national radio news network, National Public Radio.
Scott and Powell Jr. divorced in 1960 after a separation. I don't know why they divorced. Bishop T.D. Jakes says in his sermon, Love Story, "Marriage does not work until a man dies. There's a wild nature in him that has to die, and every now and then it kicks up. And you got to kill it again. And if you don't kill it, it will destroy what you got." Jakes goes on to say in Love Story, "Christ gave Himself. Let the men say, 'Give it up.'" International Christian Minister Ravi Zacharias says about a husband and wife, "The Bible tells us to mutually submit to one another." International Christian Minister Joyce Meyer says in her sermon, Hindrances to a Good Marriage, that her ministry did a questionnaire and the number one and two reasons the respondents reported for trouble in marriage are:
1) lack of communication/not knowing how to communicate
2) selfishness/pride.
Dr. Derek Grier says in his Ministry Minute "Strong Marriage," "We really have no idea how selfish and how self-centered we are until we commit to spend the rest of our lives loving and making decisions with another person."
Please leave an on-line comment about the causes for trouble in marriage and/or divorce.
Scott did not succumb to a pessimistic view of life: "All good things must come to an end;" "If it is not one thing, it's another;" "This is as good as it gets." Cavett Robert says, "If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one." After her divorce Scott went to Paris, France.
Learn to relate well, so that you can date and mate well.
Scott married Ezio Bedin, a comedian, on January 19, 1961.
Scott opened the door for African Americans in the arts. Today America and the world is filled with the talents of African-American entertainers who dared to try something different using the talents God gave them.
God made it so that no two snowflakes are the same. Likewise even though today more than 7 billion people live on planet earth, God made it so that no two people are alike. Even twins have different fingerprints and odor prints! By swabbing the scene of a crime, investigators can compare the scent samples taken from suspects with those taken at the scene of a crime.
God likes diversity displayed in daily living. Dr. Cindy Trim says,"Revelation without application is frustration." Let your unique light shine according to Matthew 5:14-16 New Living Translation Bible which says, "You are the light of the world--like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."
Please share an on-line comment reporting good deeds.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Sexual Dissatisfaction
Broken couples come in many varieties. A few varieties are divorce, a one-night stand, stayover, Living Apart Together (LAT), Living Together Apart (LTA,) friends with benefits, homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, sexless marriage etc. Stayover relationships are a monogamous relationship in which the couple sleeps together three or more nights weekly but does not live together. Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships are couples who live in separate residences, spend a few more nights together than stayover couples. Living Together Apart (LTA) relationships are couples who have children together, live together, but the love and sex is gone. Friends with benefits may or may not be in a monogamous sexual relationship. Some are in sexual relationships with people of the same sex. Some married couples have had zero to ten lovemaking sessions annually. Sexual sin through divorce, a one-night stand, stayover, LAT, friends with benefits, LTA, homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, sexless marriage or some other way is still sin. Romans 6:23 Amplified Bible says, "For the wages which sin pays is death, but the [bountiful] free gift of God is eternal life through (in union with) Jesus Christ our Lord."
God is for sex. He designed it. God set apart sublime partner-sex for marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 English Standard Version Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." If one has partner-sex outside of marriage, then shame comes with it. If one refuses to have sex inside of marriage, then shame comes with it.
Whether we are married or not, sex bonds us to another person. Contrary to what we see in some entertainment and other aspects of American culture, no one changes sexual partners with the ease of changing our clothes. When a sexual relationship ends, it is the ripping apart of one person from another person spiritually, mentally and physically. Some are ripped apart internally and don't even know it. For example, many suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity rooted in sexual sin, but are unaware that sexual sin is the root of their problem. In the movie, The Ideal Husband, a single beautician, who is proud that she is dating a married man because the relationship has no strings and no commitment unlike her mother who was married four times and begged the husbands to stay, one day cuts the hair of a woman married 22 years. Over the course of the conversation she realizes she is chasing a man that is not that into her; she has little peace and is not loving herself. She ends up agreeing with the married woman that in romantic relationships some deal breakers are if someone knocks you upside your head or is married.
One way to define love is good choices, commitment and constructive action. Please leave an on-line comment giving your definition of love.
On another day a different single beautician in The Ideal Husband has her boyfriend come to her place of work and announce that he has received a job offer in Tampa, Florida, with twice the pay and better benefits. He asks her to move to Tampa and shack with him. To which she responds, "If we love each other, then there should be no other option than marriage." He says he wants to try living together before marriage. She says, "Roger, you been knowing me for five years now." He says no to marriage. She says, "Roger, I love you, but I love me first. I don't just want to be your temporary fix." They go their separate ways. She is secure in her relationship with Jesus Christ, but many are not.
Please leave an on-line comment about the plethora of discussion in multiple media about sexual insecurities.
When we have been sexually active, and then seek to live Biblical, we will probably experience a detox that is every bit as intense as what a detoxing drug addict experiences.
Sex is never just a physical act no matter how brief or long-term the sexual relationship. The Bible reveals that casual sex doesn't exist. Even in a one-night stand, sex is oneness or cohabiting. By studying different translations of the Bible, we may receive a fuller flavor of God's message to us. Genesis 38:26 Amplified Bible describes the one-night stand sex between Judah and Tamar, " . . . And he did not cohabit with her again."
Sexuality is a central part of the real us. The real us is God's home/sanctuary. God designed sexuality to be a sanctuary, a place of security, shelter and celebration to worship God. Biblical sexuality counsels singles to celebrate their sexuality without engaging in sexual relationships with others. Biblical sexuality counsels married couples to celebrate lovemaking as the sharing of each other with intense joy and participation in God's presence and each others presence.
The celebration of sexuality is missing in much of Christianity largely because many spend a lot of energy trying to cover up sex. God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Some Christians are not experiencing God's best in this area due to sexual sin. When God makes us whole, as He is healing us, God exposes us to the Light. Darkness, trying to cover up sex, is from the devil. Biblical sexual purity does not include a lifestyle of promoting ignorance and/or shame. God counsels us to get much clear knowledge, understanding and wisdom, and then give it to others through love.
Judah was not married to Tamar, yet the Bible says in Genesis 38:16-18 Amplified Bible, "He turned to her by the road and said, Come, let me have intercourse with you; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, What will you give me that you may have intercourse with me? He answered, I will send you a kid from the flock. And she said, Will you give me a pledge (deposit) until you send it? And he said, What pledge shall I give you? She said, Your signet [seal], your [signet] cord, and your staff that is in your hand. And he gave them to her and came in to her, and she became pregnant by him." God uses language like "intercourse" and "came in to her" to describe sexual intercourse. Yet some in Christianity confuse this type of language with lust or sexual impurity.
Instead of celebrating sexuality in a beautiful, Biblical, balanced way, some promote marital sex as mechanical, sex-for-money schemes and other bargaining, to be avoided as much as possible, to be tolerated rather than celebrated, never forgive sex outside of marriage that has been repented off, clinging to a self-conscious-body image and other negative ways that make marriage appear unattractive.
Studies indicate that 15 to 20 percent of American marriages are sexless, i.e. the couple has sex zero to 10 times annually. Please leave an on-line comment sharing any studies of sexless marriages finding the problem rooted in pornography, adultery or pre-martial sex. While Christopher Yuan is not married, he is an ex-gay who says seeing pornography as a child awakened homosexuality.
Sex is more than skin-on-skin. Sex is a relationship. Many marital problems are rooted in a lack of wisdom in choosing a spouse. Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. writes in the January 31, 2013, Huffington Post newspaper article, " 'Opposites Attract' Or 'Birds Of A Feather' -- What's Best For A Long Marriage?", "I've asked over 500 people married 40, 50 and more years what is most important for a long and happy marriage. To my surprise, their advice was nearly unanimous: Opposites may attract, but they don't usually make for great and lasting marriages. Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you're very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult. I can hear some of you saying: But it would be boring if two mates were exactly alike in interests and personality! Although it may sound paradoxical, long-married elders agree that some differences can spice up a relationship. But not all aspects are equally important. There are many ways partners can be similar, but the elders say that one dimension is absolutely necessary: Similarity in core values." Pillemer also says research supports spouses sharing the same core values as key to long-term marriage and, "The research findings are quite clear: marriages that are homogamous in terms of economic background, religion and closeness in age are the most stable and tend to be happier."
God doesn't want His believers to get stuck on their sins or choosing the "wrong" spouse. God doesn't have a sour or shame-based view of sex and sexuality. God celebrates all the goodness of life. God is Life. God got over Judah's and Tamar's sexual sin and honored them by including them and one of their children, Perez, in the bloodline of Jospeh, step-dad to Jesus Christ, the Son of Man and the Son of God (Matthew 1:3)! If we've engaged in sexual sin, God can work with us to get over it and live celebrating God and the good, enjoyable life He has given us.
"When you married, God called you into a mysterious and unique relationship--a relationship in which you complete each other, in which two people become one through the physical and emotional intimacy of sex. As a husband and wife, you are called to serve each other, and that includes the privilege and responsibility of satisfying each other's sex needs. That is a need only you can fully meet for the other, and that need is part of God's will for you and your marriage. Satisfying each other's sex needs may feel more like a duty for you right now, but it is a duty God is calling you to respect. Monica, for your husband, the physical act of intercourse is an important and fundamental part of sex. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your husband. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the physical is not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Hank, for your wife, the physical part is not going to work if the emotional and relational parts of your marriage aren't working. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your wife. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the emotional and relational are not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Sex is part of a larger picture. A healthy sexual relationship grows out of your emotional and spiritual relationship with your wife," says Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg in their book, The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women Discover the Secrets to Great Sex in a Godly Marriage.
Marital sex is good for your health. Having sex three times weekly reduces the chance for having a heart attack or stroke. Sex even reduces your chance of catching a cold or the flu and improves the quality of your hair, skin and nails. Sex boosts your immune system. Sexless marriage is sickening.
Please share on-line comments about the ways you or someone you know got over sexual sin and celebrated God, sexuality, sex and life.
God is for sex. He designed it. God set apart sublime partner-sex for marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 English Standard Version Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." If one has partner-sex outside of marriage, then shame comes with it. If one refuses to have sex inside of marriage, then shame comes with it.
Whether we are married or not, sex bonds us to another person. Contrary to what we see in some entertainment and other aspects of American culture, no one changes sexual partners with the ease of changing our clothes. When a sexual relationship ends, it is the ripping apart of one person from another person spiritually, mentally and physically. Some are ripped apart internally and don't even know it. For example, many suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity rooted in sexual sin, but are unaware that sexual sin is the root of their problem. In the movie, The Ideal Husband, a single beautician, who is proud that she is dating a married man because the relationship has no strings and no commitment unlike her mother who was married four times and begged the husbands to stay, one day cuts the hair of a woman married 22 years. Over the course of the conversation she realizes she is chasing a man that is not that into her; she has little peace and is not loving herself. She ends up agreeing with the married woman that in romantic relationships some deal breakers are if someone knocks you upside your head or is married.
One way to define love is good choices, commitment and constructive action. Please leave an on-line comment giving your definition of love.
On another day a different single beautician in The Ideal Husband has her boyfriend come to her place of work and announce that he has received a job offer in Tampa, Florida, with twice the pay and better benefits. He asks her to move to Tampa and shack with him. To which she responds, "If we love each other, then there should be no other option than marriage." He says he wants to try living together before marriage. She says, "Roger, you been knowing me for five years now." He says no to marriage. She says, "Roger, I love you, but I love me first. I don't just want to be your temporary fix." They go their separate ways. She is secure in her relationship with Jesus Christ, but many are not.
Please leave an on-line comment about the plethora of discussion in multiple media about sexual insecurities.
When we have been sexually active, and then seek to live Biblical, we will probably experience a detox that is every bit as intense as what a detoxing drug addict experiences.
Sex is never just a physical act no matter how brief or long-term the sexual relationship. The Bible reveals that casual sex doesn't exist. Even in a one-night stand, sex is oneness or cohabiting. By studying different translations of the Bible, we may receive a fuller flavor of God's message to us. Genesis 38:26 Amplified Bible describes the one-night stand sex between Judah and Tamar, " . . . And he did not cohabit with her again."
Sexuality is a central part of the real us. The real us is God's home/sanctuary. God designed sexuality to be a sanctuary, a place of security, shelter and celebration to worship God. Biblical sexuality counsels singles to celebrate their sexuality without engaging in sexual relationships with others. Biblical sexuality counsels married couples to celebrate lovemaking as the sharing of each other with intense joy and participation in God's presence and each others presence.
The celebration of sexuality is missing in much of Christianity largely because many spend a lot of energy trying to cover up sex. God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Some Christians are not experiencing God's best in this area due to sexual sin. When God makes us whole, as He is healing us, God exposes us to the Light. Darkness, trying to cover up sex, is from the devil. Biblical sexual purity does not include a lifestyle of promoting ignorance and/or shame. God counsels us to get much clear knowledge, understanding and wisdom, and then give it to others through love.
Judah was not married to Tamar, yet the Bible says in Genesis 38:16-18 Amplified Bible, "He turned to her by the road and said, Come, let me have intercourse with you; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, What will you give me that you may have intercourse with me? He answered, I will send you a kid from the flock. And she said, Will you give me a pledge (deposit) until you send it? And he said, What pledge shall I give you? She said, Your signet [seal], your [signet] cord, and your staff that is in your hand. And he gave them to her and came in to her, and she became pregnant by him." God uses language like "intercourse" and "came in to her" to describe sexual intercourse. Yet some in Christianity confuse this type of language with lust or sexual impurity.
Instead of celebrating sexuality in a beautiful, Biblical, balanced way, some promote marital sex as mechanical, sex-for-money schemes and other bargaining, to be avoided as much as possible, to be tolerated rather than celebrated, never forgive sex outside of marriage that has been repented off, clinging to a self-conscious-body image and other negative ways that make marriage appear unattractive.
Studies indicate that 15 to 20 percent of American marriages are sexless, i.e. the couple has sex zero to 10 times annually. Please leave an on-line comment sharing any studies of sexless marriages finding the problem rooted in pornography, adultery or pre-martial sex. While Christopher Yuan is not married, he is an ex-gay who says seeing pornography as a child awakened homosexuality.
Sex is more than skin-on-skin. Sex is a relationship. Many marital problems are rooted in a lack of wisdom in choosing a spouse. Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. writes in the January 31, 2013, Huffington Post newspaper article, " 'Opposites Attract' Or 'Birds Of A Feather' -- What's Best For A Long Marriage?", "I've asked over 500 people married 40, 50 and more years what is most important for a long and happy marriage. To my surprise, their advice was nearly unanimous: Opposites may attract, but they don't usually make for great and lasting marriages. Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you're very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult. I can hear some of you saying: But it would be boring if two mates were exactly alike in interests and personality! Although it may sound paradoxical, long-married elders agree that some differences can spice up a relationship. But not all aspects are equally important. There are many ways partners can be similar, but the elders say that one dimension is absolutely necessary: Similarity in core values." Pillemer also says research supports spouses sharing the same core values as key to long-term marriage and, "The research findings are quite clear: marriages that are homogamous in terms of economic background, religion and closeness in age are the most stable and tend to be happier."
God doesn't want His believers to get stuck on their sins or choosing the "wrong" spouse. God doesn't have a sour or shame-based view of sex and sexuality. God celebrates all the goodness of life. God is Life. God got over Judah's and Tamar's sexual sin and honored them by including them and one of their children, Perez, in the bloodline of Jospeh, step-dad to Jesus Christ, the Son of Man and the Son of God (Matthew 1:3)! If we've engaged in sexual sin, God can work with us to get over it and live celebrating God and the good, enjoyable life He has given us.
"When you married, God called you into a mysterious and unique relationship--a relationship in which you complete each other, in which two people become one through the physical and emotional intimacy of sex. As a husband and wife, you are called to serve each other, and that includes the privilege and responsibility of satisfying each other's sex needs. That is a need only you can fully meet for the other, and that need is part of God's will for you and your marriage. Satisfying each other's sex needs may feel more like a duty for you right now, but it is a duty God is calling you to respect. Monica, for your husband, the physical act of intercourse is an important and fundamental part of sex. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your husband. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the physical is not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Hank, for your wife, the physical part is not going to work if the emotional and relational parts of your marriage aren't working. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your wife. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the emotional and relational are not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Sex is part of a larger picture. A healthy sexual relationship grows out of your emotional and spiritual relationship with your wife," says Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg in their book, The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women Discover the Secrets to Great Sex in a Godly Marriage.
Marital sex is good for your health. Having sex three times weekly reduces the chance for having a heart attack or stroke. Sex even reduces your chance of catching a cold or the flu and improves the quality of your hair, skin and nails. Sex boosts your immune system. Sexless marriage is sickening.
Please share on-line comments about the ways you or someone you know got over sexual sin and celebrated God, sexuality, sex and life.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Robbing God and Our Family
"So Abraham rose early in the morning and took bread and a bottle of water and gave them to Hagar, putting them on her shoulders, and he sent her and the youth away. And she wandered on [aimlessly] and lost her way in the wilderness of Beersheba." -- Genesis 21:14 Amplified Bible
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
While God desired for Ishmael and Hagar to move away from Isaac, Sarah and Abraham, and Isaac to receive Abraham's inheritance, God didn't say that Abraham had to send Ishmael and Hagar away in poverty. Abraham was financially rich but not rich in sharing in some of his relationships with women and children.
Ishmael is bone of Abraham's bone, flesh of his flesh, and Abraham was in a long-term, sexual relationship with Hagar, yet all Abraham gives them to live off is some bread and a bottle of water! If he told them he loved them, his actions contradicted his words.
The love of God can be shown through the use of money. Luke 16:9 New Living Translation Bible says, "Here's the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home."
What Martin Luther King, Jr., said in his sermon entitled "Paul's Letter to American Christians" could be said to Abraham and to many fathers and mothers today. He said, "I am afraid that many among you are more concerned about making a living than making a life. . . . God never intended for one group of people to live in superfluous inordinate wealth, while others live in abject deadening poverty. God intends for all of his children to have the basic necessities of life, and he has left in this universe "enough and to spare" for that purpose. So I call upon you to bridge the gulf between abject poverty and superfluous wealth."
The Bible supports what Martin Luther King, Jr., said. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 Amplified Bible says, "As for the rich in this world, charge them not to be proud and arrogant and contemptuous of others, nor to set their hopes on uncertain riches, but on God, Who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for [our] enjoyment. [Charge them] to do good, to be rich in good works, to be liberal and generous of heart, ready to share [with others], In this way laying up for themselves [the riches that endure forever as] a good foundation for the future, so that they may grasp that which is life indeed."
Some men became financially rich because they delegated extensive parental responsibilities to the mother(s) of their children. Don't be fooled time and money are connected. It takes time to earn money. It takes time to parent. More of Abraham's time was spent earning money while more of Sarah's and Hagar's time was spent parenting and maintaining a home. Abraham worked animals for money while Sarah and Hagar worked to parent and to maintain their home being financially supported by Abraham. Abraham was involved in the parenting of Isaac, but when Abraham sent Hagar and Ishmael away with only bread and a bottle of water Abraham failed to provide for Ishmael and Hagar. Perhaps he falsely believed that he was right to pass off his responsibility to God, government and/or others. Abraham's failure has an immediate and life-long impact on Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar wandered around, lost her way and both her and Ishmael experienced starvation.
Hagar had repeatedly for a long time opened her body to Abraham. I wonder if the experience with Abraham left such high levels of bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, anger, pain, humiliation and resentment in Hagar that she never married. Sexual relationships outside of marriage are part of our model and training for marriage. Abraham through one of his servants chooses a wife for Isaac, but Hagar chooses a wife for Ishmael. The Bible makes no mention of a husband for Hagar.
Many single parents today have gone through child support enforcement because a parent failed to provide financially. In spite of these failures, most singles will marry. Nine out of ten people get married. Half of all American marriages end in divorce. Many divorces are in part caused because one former spouse was the primary breadwinner while the other primarily raised their children; the breadwinner felt that the childcare person should earn more money while the childcare person felt that the breadwinner should parent more; and they both began to engage in selfish behaviors aimed at punishing each other for not doing what he or she wanted instead of trying to learn about and appreciate each other and each other's work. When we don't feed off of each others goodness, we are opening the door to feeding off each others badness. For example, say a husband is the primary breadwinner and the wife is the primary parent, and the husband decides to withhold finances from his wife who in turn withholds sex from her husband. A husband is not to treat a wife as a child to be held to a "budget" with reporting of receipts for all expenditures to him while he is exempt from the budget and receipt reporting and has attempted to implement these practices that are not mutally agreed to. A wife is not to withhold sex from her husband without mutual consent for sex is a fundamental part of a marriage. God designed sublime sex to be about giving to and receiving from each spouse without strings attached. When we are mistreated, we tend to respond with mistreatment.
When sex becomes a bargaining piece to gain proper money or something else, instead of the sublime sex God designed for marriage, prostitution is introduced into a marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:15 New Living Translation Bible says, "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!" A man who withholds finances from his wife enables her to become a prostitute (sex for money deal) and has introduced adultery into his marriage. Eventually, through a divorce she could take a large sum of his money and all the while cause his carnal nature to squench the Holy Spirit on his inside. Proverbs 6:26 Amplified Bible says, "For on account of a harlot a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress stalks and snares [as with a hook] the precious life [of a man]."
Perhaps spouses are having difficulty understanding the Bible because that which is understood is not being fully lived blocking further growth. We grow in our relationship and understanding of God by living in His ways. We cannot be intimate and evil. By allowing and agressively causing love to shrivel up, our hearts are exposed and unprotected. Proverbs 4:23 Amplified Bible says, "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life."
A husband is supposed to be like Jesus Christ. A husband has to live the Word of God in order to have authority. Jesus Christ lived the Word, and consequently had authority. Mark 1:22 Amplified Bible says, "And they were completely astonished at His teaching, for He was teaching as One Who possessed authority, and not as the scribes."
Adultery isn't just sexual; it's also spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical and financial. For example, maybe your heart belongs to your job or your business or your education instead of your spouse? Or maybe your heart belongs to raising your children and is closed off to your spouse? Some spouses try to keep their spouse ignorant of the true financial condition of the family and/or keep them short of finances as a way to control them. The nervous system controls our body. Each thought, emotion and action result from nervous system direction. Some spouses try to replace God as the nervous system of the marriage resulting often in multiple bad behaviors some of which are financial abuse, intimidation and behaviors designed to instill fear, shame and/or lust in someone else. Being physically present in a house but emotionally unavailable brings fear, anxiety and worry to family because Biblical love is shown through good behavior. Meanwhile some spouses seize their children like property that can only be managed by him or her. Some parents treat the other parent not as an equal parent but as help. Adultery is pervasive inside many marriages sucking the life out of these marriages. Bad behavior is not birthed or nurtured in isolation. Proverbs 6:32 Amplified Bible says, "But whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life."
Bad behavior no matter how small or large always impacts more than one person negatively for a long time. Maybe if Abraham had sent Ishmael and Hagar away with a superabundance of goods and goodwill and continued to offer these throughout their lives, not only would Ishmael, Hagar, Abraham, Sarah and Isaac be blessed, but probably the conflicts we are having in the Middle East today would be substancially fewer because we often repeat generation after generation the behavior of our parents.
When we help those who are less fortunate than ourselves, we also help ourselves. God chastised Sodom and Gomorrah for overcompution of food while others were eating inadequately and even starving. Ezekiel 16:49 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters'; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
God enabled some to become wealthy for their necessities and enjoyments and the necessities and enjoyment of others. When we don't share, we are being selfish, and we are stealing. Stealing is short-sighted. Selfishness is short-sighted. We cannot sin with impunity. We are to pursue love, truth and justice for all. God's people are kings and queens. Abraham is a king. A mother counsels her son, Lemuel, who is a king in Proverbs 31 about how kings are to behave. Proverbs 31:7-8 New Living Translation Bible says, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."
When we rob God and our family we are robbing our earthly and eternal legacy. Long after our careers and money are gone the way we treated our family will be passed on generation after generation.
Stop generational selfishness and stealing today, and nurture generational abundance. Proverbs 1:23 Amplified Bible says, "If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you."
Thursday, May 31, 2012
4 Ways to Enduring Love
God inserts inspiration everywhere. When weariness strikes talk to God to work it out. Living in continual weariness is a wish from Satan. Love endures.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." 1 Corinthians 13:7 shares with us four qualities of enduring love.
Some dismiss the dreams of children as being temporary and ever-changing. Leila Lopes, a Christian, the currently reigning Miss Universe, from the African nation Angola, which is the Portuguese name for the ruling ngola they encountered in the 1480s, tells New African Woman magazine, "Pursue your dreams, stay true to yourself and never look back. If you try hard enough you can achieve anything." Lopes says that ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of competing in the Miss Universe Pageant.
Some say that 90 percent of what we hear daily is negative. Tune out the naysayers by tapping into the never-ending power of God the Holy Ghost who lives on the inside of Christians.
Dreams are not dust to be swept away by the duties of reality. Lopes never gave up on her childhood dream that was realized as an adult. Lopes enduring love for God and herself overflows to others. God is using Lopes to share with people globally the message of love and beauty in Jesus Christ, in the continent of Africa and in Africans from the motherland and the diaspora.
Life doesn't always go according to our mental script. I wanted my 19-year-old son, Rafael, to enjoy a salad while soaking in the bathtub. He received it with so much joy, that he knocked the salad off the ledge of the tub spilling Spring mix leaves, tomatoes, olives and the other contents on the floor and in the bath water. I held in upset. Rafael didn't spill the salad on purpose. It was a mistake. I gave him time to himself to process the event. He said, "I'm sorry." Then, "I do good." I gave him a rag without any critical comments. We cleaned up together. My calm efficiency promoted his calm joy. After clean up, he continued to enjoy soaking and eating.
The healthiest, happiest, hardiest relationships share far more positivity than negativity. Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of Relationship Research Institute, says to practice the five to one ratio. For every one negative interaction (a complaint, a disagreement, an argument, etc.) engage in five positive interactions (a compliment, a smile, a kiss, a hug, cuddling, a shared laugh or happy memory, etc.)
Kenneth Ulmer was a successful radio broadcast professional, went through two divorces, conceived two children by two different women and was suicidal.
Today's circumstances may be disastrous, but in many tomorrows they may be delightful. Keep on hoping for the best.
Ulmer not only married again he has been married for more than 30 years, adopted a son, adopted a teenage daughter from Africa who had AIDS and is now Bishop Kenneth Ulmer of Faith Central Bible Church in California.
Some relationships God designed for a lifetime. Just because God designed marriage as two people becoming one does not mean that two people will not struggle to keep sin from shredding the marriage. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child.
Divorce is an option with repeated adulteries, but so is heart surgery to save the marriage. Endurance means slicing out selfishness.
We cannot give 50 percent of self to a relationship. When two people give people 50 percent, 1/2 X 1/2 equals 1/4. We end up with less of a relationship! But in dying to selfishness and giving 100 percent of self to each other, not only was Cindy's and Chris' marriage saved, but also both the mom of the child conceived out of wedlock and the child are active parts of Cindy's and Chris' life so much so that their conquering adultery and commitment to love is their ministry. No matter what we are facing, love (God's love in us) can overcome it, multiply and edify.
God is so good that He can make our relationships better after major conflicts than they were before them. Today will you choose love over everything else? Please leave an on-line comment, and choose love with me on Twitter.com at "Michelelove30" and Google's G+.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." 1 Corinthians 13:7 shares with us four qualities of enduring love.
1. Never Give Up.
Some dismiss the dreams of children as being temporary and ever-changing. Leila Lopes, a Christian, the currently reigning Miss Universe, from the African nation Angola, which is the Portuguese name for the ruling ngola they encountered in the 1480s, tells New African Woman magazine, "Pursue your dreams, stay true to yourself and never look back. If you try hard enough you can achieve anything." Lopes says that ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of competing in the Miss Universe Pageant.
Some say that 90 percent of what we hear daily is negative. Tune out the naysayers by tapping into the never-ending power of God the Holy Ghost who lives on the inside of Christians.
Dreams are not dust to be swept away by the duties of reality. Lopes never gave up on her childhood dream that was realized as an adult. Lopes enduring love for God and herself overflows to others. God is using Lopes to share with people globally the message of love and beauty in Jesus Christ, in the continent of Africa and in Africans from the motherland and the diaspora.
2. Believe the Best of Every Person.
Life doesn't always go according to our mental script. I wanted my 19-year-old son, Rafael, to enjoy a salad while soaking in the bathtub. He received it with so much joy, that he knocked the salad off the ledge of the tub spilling Spring mix leaves, tomatoes, olives and the other contents on the floor and in the bath water. I held in upset. Rafael didn't spill the salad on purpose. It was a mistake. I gave him time to himself to process the event. He said, "I'm sorry." Then, "I do good." I gave him a rag without any critical comments. We cleaned up together. My calm efficiency promoted his calm joy. After clean up, he continued to enjoy soaking and eating.
The healthiest, happiest, hardiest relationships share far more positivity than negativity. Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of Relationship Research Institute, says to practice the five to one ratio. For every one negative interaction (a complaint, a disagreement, an argument, etc.) engage in five positive interactions (a compliment, a smile, a kiss, a hug, cuddling, a shared laugh or happy memory, etc.)
3. Be Ever Hopeful.
Kenneth Ulmer was a successful radio broadcast professional, went through two divorces, conceived two children by two different women and was suicidal.
Today's circumstances may be disastrous, but in many tomorrows they may be delightful. Keep on hoping for the best.
Ulmer not only married again he has been married for more than 30 years, adopted a son, adopted a teenage daughter from Africa who had AIDS and is now Bishop Kenneth Ulmer of Faith Central Bible Church in California.
4. Endure.
Some relationships God designed for a lifetime. Just because God designed marriage as two people becoming one does not mean that two people will not struggle to keep sin from shredding the marriage. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child.
Divorce is an option with repeated adulteries, but so is heart surgery to save the marriage. Endurance means slicing out selfishness.
We cannot give 50 percent of self to a relationship. When two people give people 50 percent, 1/2 X 1/2 equals 1/4. We end up with less of a relationship! But in dying to selfishness and giving 100 percent of self to each other, not only was Cindy's and Chris' marriage saved, but also both the mom of the child conceived out of wedlock and the child are active parts of Cindy's and Chris' life so much so that their conquering adultery and commitment to love is their ministry. No matter what we are facing, love (God's love in us) can overcome it, multiply and edify.
God is so good that He can make our relationships better after major conflicts than they were before them. Today will you choose love over everything else? Please leave an on-line comment, and choose love with me on Twitter.com at "Michelelove30" and Google's G+.
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