Joseph had an awesome appearance courtesy of the artwork of God. Watching art can be enjoyable. God wants us to enjoy a wide variety of things knowing that everything has to be managed. No one and no thing is to be more important to us than God. 1 John 5:21 Amplified Bible says, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols (false gods)—[from anything and everything that would occupy the place in your heart due to God, from any sort of substitute for Him that would take first place in your life]. Amen (so let it be)."
Potiphar and his wife were at one time Joseph's employers (Genesis 39.) Potiphar's wife liked God's artwork expressed in Joseph but not God's authority. Instead of following God's plan for pursuing partner sexual fulfillment in marriage, she pestered Joseph for sex outside of marriage.
A Yoruba of Nigeria proverb says, "May my outer head not spoil my inner head." Joseph didn't idolize his beauty. He repeatedly loved and respected God and God's rules. God the Son Jesus Christ says in John 14:15 New Living Translation Bible, "If you love me, obey my commandments."
The Chinese invented the rudder. God does not give us rules without the power to steer our lives according to them. When we have a relationship with God, God comes to live inside creyentes (believers) giving us the power to do what He says.
Having God's power doesn't mean we will not struggle to use it. The struggle is easiest when we stay close to the Greatest Lover, God.
Showing posts with label Adultery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adultery. Show all posts
Monday, July 22, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Sexuality, Spirituality and Faithfulness
Our sexuality and our spirituality are connected. Our sexuality is made in the image of the most spiritual being in the universe. Genesis 1:27 Complete Jewish Bible says, "So God created humankind in his own image; in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them."
Spirituality and sexuality are not meant to be separated in God's design. One of God's qualities is faithfulness. Faithfulness is spiritual and sexual for both singles and married people.
Denzel and Pauletta Washington are faithful Christians. They have also been faithfully married to each other for more than 30 years and have parented four children. Denzel Washington says, "Acting is just a way of making a living, the family is life."
God designed spouses to be friends because He is our friend. Good friends seek to make each other better. A good friend does not want to betray us. Joyce Meyer and Dave Meyer have been married for more than 40 years. Joyce says in her teaching "Faithfulness" that neither she nor Dave have been sexually unfaithful to each other throughout their marriage.
A Tsonga African proverb says, "A beautiful person will not be perfect." A faithful Christian will not always be perfectly faithful. A spiritually mature Christian will be habitually faithful.
Life circumstances will arise that test our sexual faithfulness in various ways. In many cultures people are taught to prefer man-on-top sexual intercourse and also taught that something is wild and wicked with a preference for woman-on-top sexual intercourse. Some people teach that Deborah's leadership of the Israelites is inherently inferior because she is a woman! The masculinity of Lappidoth, Deborah's husband, has been questioned. So has the femininity of Deborah.
Some people are afraid of sexuality. China has a one-child policy where boys and girls are routinely killed through forced abortions and people are routinely, involuntarily sterilized. Since the implementation of China's one-child policy more than 330 million people have lost their lives through abortion; that's more people than the combined total number of people in the United States of America and Australia. Those who attempt to defy the one-child policy are severely penalized. Chen Guangcheng and Yuan Weijing are a married couple who suffered house arrest and torture for years because Guangcheng, a blind, self-taught lawyer, brought a 2005 class-action lawsuit against forced abortions and forced sterilizations. The U.S. negotiated a deal with China to get him out of China. However, the Chen family is still being persecuted. Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, is in jail and is being denied medical treatment for appendicitis. Freedom Now, a human rights group, has written an April 29, 2013, letter to the United Nation's Special Rapporteur on Torture seeking to get Kegui to a hospital and out of jail.
What do you do when a spouse becomes severely sick, imprisoned or something else that hinders and even prevents sexual relations, other contact and conversation? Some commit adultery, the faithful draw closer to God and godly people. Naghmeh Abedini has been separated from her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini for 224 days. Through http://www.savesaeed.org she wrote him the following letter for his May 7th birthday:
"My dearest friend and soul mate Saeed,
As you turn 33 today, I am reminded of the previous years that we have celebrated this very special day together. Our house was always so full of joy and laughter as we rejoiced the day that you were born.
Yet today, there is a deep piercing pain in my heart knowing that you will spend your birthday in solitary confinement, constrained to a small room, not knowing when it is day or night. Under constant torture and abuse by radicals who are trying to break you and have you deny your faith in Jesus.
With tightness in my throat, pain in my heart, and tears streaming down my face...so very weak, I promise to stand strong in the strength of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ fighting with every strength of my being until you are united to our family again.
I will be a voice, where you are being silenced. I will be hands and feet where you are being bound and in chains. That the whole world would know, that the whole world would hear that Jesus is Lord.
We are so proud of you. Hang in there. Hold on tight to Jesus. You have many brothers and sisters praying for you and standing with you.
Love
Naghmeh"
Be faithful like Naghmeh Abedini and continue to write to Pastor Saeed Abedini and to sign the petition at http://www.savesaeed.org to help free Pastor Abedini from Evin prison in Tehran, Iran.
God the Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us even while we were His enemies, and He never abandons His creyentes (believers). His creyentes are His spouse. He is a faithful Husband for eternity to singles and married people.
George Washington Carver was a single man who never married. He was faithful and showed his love for God and people through relationships and service through his work as an educator, scientist and speaker. He refused to leave his work at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. Carver said, "My work is a great publicity asset for the school and for my race." (George Washington Carver by John Perry.)
God refuses to give up on creyentes when we die, divorce, engage in same-sex relations, living together and other sexual relationships outside of marriage. God's faithfulness is stronger than death and sin. The faithful diligently seek love no matter life circumstances. Booker Taliaferro Washington was born an African American slave who became a Christian, a speaker, an author, an educator and a leader. He also married twice and both wives died. Washington's desire for love did not die. He married a third time. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela also married two times before his marriage to his current sweetheart, Graca Machel, who he married on his 80th birthday. It is possible to have same-sex attraction and not engage in same-sex sexual relationships. Christopher Yuan, a professor at Moody Bible Institute, speaker and author, says, "I left homosexuality because I found something better, and His name is Jesus."
Spirituality and sexuality are not meant to be separated in God's design. One of God's qualities is faithfulness. Faithfulness is spiritual and sexual for both singles and married people.
Denzel and Pauletta Washington are faithful Christians. They have also been faithfully married to each other for more than 30 years and have parented four children. Denzel Washington says, "Acting is just a way of making a living, the family is life."
God designed spouses to be friends because He is our friend. Good friends seek to make each other better. A good friend does not want to betray us. Joyce Meyer and Dave Meyer have been married for more than 40 years. Joyce says in her teaching "Faithfulness" that neither she nor Dave have been sexually unfaithful to each other throughout their marriage.
A Tsonga African proverb says, "A beautiful person will not be perfect." A faithful Christian will not always be perfectly faithful. A spiritually mature Christian will be habitually faithful.
Life circumstances will arise that test our sexual faithfulness in various ways. In many cultures people are taught to prefer man-on-top sexual intercourse and also taught that something is wild and wicked with a preference for woman-on-top sexual intercourse. Some people teach that Deborah's leadership of the Israelites is inherently inferior because she is a woman! The masculinity of Lappidoth, Deborah's husband, has been questioned. So has the femininity of Deborah.
Some people are afraid of sexuality. China has a one-child policy where boys and girls are routinely killed through forced abortions and people are routinely, involuntarily sterilized. Since the implementation of China's one-child policy more than 330 million people have lost their lives through abortion; that's more people than the combined total number of people in the United States of America and Australia. Those who attempt to defy the one-child policy are severely penalized. Chen Guangcheng and Yuan Weijing are a married couple who suffered house arrest and torture for years because Guangcheng, a blind, self-taught lawyer, brought a 2005 class-action lawsuit against forced abortions and forced sterilizations. The U.S. negotiated a deal with China to get him out of China. However, the Chen family is still being persecuted. Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, is in jail and is being denied medical treatment for appendicitis. Freedom Now, a human rights group, has written an April 29, 2013, letter to the United Nation's Special Rapporteur on Torture seeking to get Kegui to a hospital and out of jail.
What do you do when a spouse becomes severely sick, imprisoned or something else that hinders and even prevents sexual relations, other contact and conversation? Some commit adultery, the faithful draw closer to God and godly people. Naghmeh Abedini has been separated from her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini for 224 days. Through http://www.savesaeed.org she wrote him the following letter for his May 7th birthday:
"My dearest friend and soul mate Saeed,
As you turn 33 today, I am reminded of the previous years that we have celebrated this very special day together. Our house was always so full of joy and laughter as we rejoiced the day that you were born.
Yet today, there is a deep piercing pain in my heart knowing that you will spend your birthday in solitary confinement, constrained to a small room, not knowing when it is day or night. Under constant torture and abuse by radicals who are trying to break you and have you deny your faith in Jesus.
With tightness in my throat, pain in my heart, and tears streaming down my face...so very weak, I promise to stand strong in the strength of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ fighting with every strength of my being until you are united to our family again.
I will be a voice, where you are being silenced. I will be hands and feet where you are being bound and in chains. That the whole world would know, that the whole world would hear that Jesus is Lord.
We are so proud of you. Hang in there. Hold on tight to Jesus. You have many brothers and sisters praying for you and standing with you.
Love
Naghmeh"
Be faithful like Naghmeh Abedini and continue to write to Pastor Saeed Abedini and to sign the petition at http://www.savesaeed.org to help free Pastor Abedini from Evin prison in Tehran, Iran.
God the Son Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us even while we were His enemies, and He never abandons His creyentes (believers). His creyentes are His spouse. He is a faithful Husband for eternity to singles and married people.
George Washington Carver was a single man who never married. He was faithful and showed his love for God and people through relationships and service through his work as an educator, scientist and speaker. He refused to leave his work at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. Carver said, "My work is a great publicity asset for the school and for my race." (George Washington Carver by John Perry.)
God refuses to give up on creyentes when we die, divorce, engage in same-sex relations, living together and other sexual relationships outside of marriage. God's faithfulness is stronger than death and sin. The faithful diligently seek love no matter life circumstances. Booker Taliaferro Washington was born an African American slave who became a Christian, a speaker, an author, an educator and a leader. He also married twice and both wives died. Washington's desire for love did not die. He married a third time. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela also married two times before his marriage to his current sweetheart, Graca Machel, who he married on his 80th birthday. It is possible to have same-sex attraction and not engage in same-sex sexual relationships. Christopher Yuan, a professor at Moody Bible Institute, speaker and author, says, "I left homosexuality because I found something better, and His name is Jesus."
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Would You Accept Infidelity?
Some want to side step clear cases of evil and allow the status quo to continue. Some examples of this are those who refused to speak out against American segregation and spouses of all generations who want their spouses to put up with their same-sex and/or opposite-sex infidelities, lying and other habitual sin attitudes and actions of "I want to feed my appetites with all my might, and I don't care if it's not right."
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:6 Amplified Bible, "Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be completely satisfied!"
A Rolling Stones laments "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." No one can find satisfaction outside of right standing with God. To thirst after righteousness, God has to deliver us from immersion in the immaturity of me, me, me.
True love is not isolationist neither is it perfectly social except when practiced by God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King Jr. while he was imperfect as is every other human being was not typical in that he had the kind of passionate love that permeated every area of his life.
Light, love, life are all names for God. When God comes to live inside a person, God commands us to cooperate with His process of kicking out licentiousness and other enemies of love. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:16 Amplified Bible, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven."
God wants us to love willfully, wonderfully, wholly. God is not about how little His creyentes (believers) who are reinas y reyes (queens and kings) can do to make many people's lives better, but how much. Jesus Christ is the Great Lover, and He is cultivating a kingdom family of great lovers.
More than 574,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending support to Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini who in January 2013 was sentenced by Iranian authorities to an eight-year prison sentence for "threatening the national security of Iran;" Pastor Abedini had been involved in setting up house churches in Iran and also an orphanage. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. Another good reason to sign the petition and/or write a letter is that Iran will be having elections in June and to continue to pressure the US State Department, the European Union and other countries and organizations to help free Pastor Saeed Abedini.
Have you prayed, signed the petition, wrote a letter or did something else to free Pastor Abedini, who is being tortured in an Iranian prison for his Christian faith?
No matter what abilities and disabilities we have God made us, loves us and respects the life of all people. Please call Governor Mary Fallin at (405-521-2342) to ask her to sign into law HB 1403 The Nondiscrimination in Treatment Act of Oklahoma which protects the elderly, seriously ill and disabled by preventing medical providers from denying individuals life-saving treatment based on their quality of life.
The devil does not like people with disabilities or any human being because we are made in the image of God, his arch enemy.
Chen Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, is a self-taught lawyer from China who helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night. His wife, Yuan Weijing, and daughter were living with him under house arrest. This family was prevented from meeting their wider family, including Chen Guangcheng's and Yuan Weijing's son, who lived elsewhere with an aunt.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong is a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
Since China's one-child policy was implemented in the 1970s more than 336 million babies have been killed by abortion; in America since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion 55 million babies have been killed.
Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, has been in jail after using knives to fend off local officials who burst into Kegui's home after Guangcheng's escape. Kegui is married to Liu Fang. The couple have a young son, Chen Fubin.
"He (Chen Kegui) must be heavily injured, I'm worried about his physical state," Liu Fang said to Reuters reporter Sui-Lee Wee for her May 24, 2012, article "Brother of blind China activist flees village." Liu Fang also said about her husband and Guangcheng's nephew, "Inside, he might be subject to beatings."
Torture and other reprisals by Chinese authorities are happening to family and friends of Guangcheng since his escape from China to the US one year ago.
On April 24, 2013, Chen Kegui's mother, Ren Zongju, and Chen Kegui's uncle, Chen Guangjun, were told by Chinese authorities to answer questions about whether they “harbored a criminal” by helping Chen Kegui before his capture. Chen Guangjun is a bother of Chen Guangcheng
Chen Guangfu, another brother of Chen Guangcheng, told Chris Buckley of The New York Times for his April 24, 2013, article, "Chinese Officials Order Questioning of Exiled Activist’s Relatives, “I think that this is really about Guangcheng;” “I’ve heard that he spoke at the U.S. Congress and leveled accusations against officials. In my view, that infuriated them.”
Reinas y reyes are called to infuriate the enemy of good relationships. 1 John 3:7-8 the Message Bible says, "So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth. It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah. Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways."
The devil has had his way in China with more Chinese baby boys and baby girls losing their lives to abortion than the combined total population of the United States of America and Australia! The devil has had his way in America with a baby losing his or her life every 30 seconds!
Christmas 1967, Martin Luther King, Jr. preached the following words: "Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. Every man is somebody because he is a child of God…Man is more than a tiny vagary of whirling electrons or a wisp of smoke from a limitless smoldering. Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won't exploit people, we won't trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won't kill anybody."
Talk to God, godly people and write a letter about forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China's one-child policy and human rights abuses of Chen Guangcheng's family and friends to:
Secretary of State John Kerry
US Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:6 Amplified Bible, "Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with God), for they shall be completely satisfied!"
A Rolling Stones laments "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." No one can find satisfaction outside of right standing with God. To thirst after righteousness, God has to deliver us from immersion in the immaturity of me, me, me.
True love is not isolationist neither is it perfectly social except when practiced by God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Christian Minister and Civil Rights Activist Martin Luther King Jr. while he was imperfect as is every other human being was not typical in that he had the kind of passionate love that permeated every area of his life.
Light, love, life are all names for God. When God comes to live inside a person, God commands us to cooperate with His process of kicking out licentiousness and other enemies of love. Jesus Christ says in Matthew 5:16 Amplified Bible, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven."
God wants us to love willfully, wonderfully, wholly. God is not about how little His creyentes (believers) who are reinas y reyes (queens and kings) can do to make many people's lives better, but how much. Jesus Christ is the Great Lover, and He is cultivating a kingdom family of great lovers.
More than 574,000 people worldwide from over 180 countries have signed a petition lending support to Pastor and U.S. Citizen Saeed Abedini who in January 2013 was sentenced by Iranian authorities to an eight-year prison sentence for "threatening the national security of Iran;" Pastor Abedini had been involved in setting up house churches in Iran and also an orphanage. A campaign to write letters to him for his May 7th birthday and to sign the petition is being coordinated at http://www.savesaeed.org. Another good reason to sign the petition and/or write a letter is that Iran will be having elections in June and to continue to pressure the US State Department, the European Union and other countries and organizations to help free Pastor Saeed Abedini.
Have you prayed, signed the petition, wrote a letter or did something else to free Pastor Abedini, who is being tortured in an Iranian prison for his Christian faith?
No matter what abilities and disabilities we have God made us, loves us and respects the life of all people. Please call Governor Mary Fallin at (405-521-2342) to ask her to sign into law HB 1403 The Nondiscrimination in Treatment Act of Oklahoma which protects the elderly, seriously ill and disabled by preventing medical providers from denying individuals life-saving treatment based on their quality of life.
The devil does not like people with disabilities or any human being because we are made in the image of God, his arch enemy.
Chen Guangcheng, who became blind as a result of a childhood illness and now wears dark sunglasses, is a self-taught lawyer from China who helped the disabled win public benefits and aided farmers fighting illegal land seizures. He became internationally known for filing a 2005 law suit against a local government for forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China’s one-child policy.
Guangcheng's lawsuit was rejected, and he was placed under house arrest in Shandong, China, with guards surrounding his house, his cell phone service cut off, access to the Internet blocked and bright lights shinning on his house at night. His wife, Yuan Weijing, and daughter were living with him under house arrest. This family was prevented from meeting their wider family, including Chen Guangcheng's and Yuan Weijing's son, who lived elsewhere with an aunt.
Tejas is the name the Spanish gave to the area that became the US state of Texas. The Spanish chose the name based on a Native American word for "friend."
Guangcheng had friends help him to escape from house arrest in April 2012. He Peirong is a key member of a group of activists who organize support for Guangcheng in China. He Peirong drove Guangcheng to the US embassy in Beijing. Were they traveling in a Corolla, the best-selling car of all time produced by the Japanese company Toyota?
A deal was worked out between China and the United States; now Guangcheng lives in New York with his wife, Yuan Weijing, and their two children.
On April 9, 2013, he testified before a subcommittee of the U.S. House Committee On Foreign Affairs about his family's and other people's persecution in China and other ongoing human rights abuses in China. Guangcheng gave Congress a list of 130,000 Chinese officials involved in forced abortions and forced sterilizations.
Since China's one-child policy was implemented in the 1970s more than 336 million babies have been killed by abortion; in America since Roe v. Wade legalized abortion 55 million babies have been killed.
Guangcheng's nephew, Chen Kegui, has been in jail after using knives to fend off local officials who burst into Kegui's home after Guangcheng's escape. Kegui is married to Liu Fang. The couple have a young son, Chen Fubin.
"He (Chen Kegui) must be heavily injured, I'm worried about his physical state," Liu Fang said to Reuters reporter Sui-Lee Wee for her May 24, 2012, article "Brother of blind China activist flees village." Liu Fang also said about her husband and Guangcheng's nephew, "Inside, he might be subject to beatings."
Torture and other reprisals by Chinese authorities are happening to family and friends of Guangcheng since his escape from China to the US one year ago.
On April 24, 2013, Chen Kegui's mother, Ren Zongju, and Chen Kegui's uncle, Chen Guangjun, were told by Chinese authorities to answer questions about whether they “harbored a criminal” by helping Chen Kegui before his capture. Chen Guangjun is a bother of Chen Guangcheng
Chen Guangfu, another brother of Chen Guangcheng, told Chris Buckley of The New York Times for his April 24, 2013, article, "Chinese Officials Order Questioning of Exiled Activist’s Relatives, “I think that this is really about Guangcheng;” “I’ve heard that he spoke at the U.S. Congress and leveled accusations against officials. In my view, that infuriated them.”
Reinas y reyes are called to infuriate the enemy of good relationships. 1 John 3:7-8 the Message Bible says, "So, my dear children, don’t let anyone divert you from the truth. It’s the person who acts right who is right, just as we see it lived out in our righteous Messiah. Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin. The Son of God entered the scene to abolish the Devil’s ways."
The devil has had his way in China with more Chinese baby boys and baby girls losing their lives to abortion than the combined total population of the United States of America and Australia! The devil has had his way in America with a baby losing his or her life every 30 seconds!
Christmas 1967, Martin Luther King, Jr. preached the following words: "Now let me say that the next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. Every man is somebody because he is a child of God…Man is more than a tiny vagary of whirling electrons or a wisp of smoke from a limitless smoldering. Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won't exploit people, we won't trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won't kill anybody."
Talk to God, godly people and write a letter about forced abortions and forced sterilizations practiced as part of China's one-child policy and human rights abuses of Chen Guangcheng's family and friends to:
Secretary of State John Kerry
US Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Silent Rapes
I wrote in my January 13, 2013, article "Thoughts About Abortion," "Even in the hard cases abortion can be avoided. Rapists can be male or female."
Adolescent boys have been seduced by adult women with children resulting from these sexual unions. Not only should these children not be aborted because these children are human, also the existence of these children can be used as evidence of rape/incest.
On a social and personal level we do not like to discuss certain issues because they are surrounded by pecados (sins).
Some men have been date raped by their male boyfriends, and the reason they don't want to tell their wife is, "What are they doing with boyfriends in the first place?"
Leviticus 18:22 English Standard Version Bible says, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." Proverbs 5:18-19 Contemporary English Version Bible says, "Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful, just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love." Compared to God, who is eternal without beginning or end of life, we are all young.
God does not hate people who have same-sex sexual relations, same-sex romantic relationships, abortions, incestuous relationships, are rapists and other types of sexual/adulterous sins or any type of sin. God wants people to stop sinning and to start loving God, themselves and other people. Pecados (sins) are not sexy and sweet; pecados hurt and harm people.
Proverbs 28:13 Amplified Bible says, "He who covers his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes his sins will obtain mercy."
First tell God about your sins, and allow Him to heal you and to restore you to a right relationship with God and people. Also, allow God to lead you to the people you need to confess your sins to. James 5:16 Amplified Bible says, "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."
Are you involved in secret sins? Don't let Satan fool you with fear and other tactics. "Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman," said Marian Anderson, a singer and civil rights advocate. People experience consequences from our sins; they may or may not know the source of problems. Tell the truth, so that the situation can be transformed for good for you and for others.
In Chinese culture the number 8 is associated with prosperity. What can be more prosperous than lives filled with love?
Love wins when rape, incest, adultery, abortion and other sins end.
Adolescent boys have been seduced by adult women with children resulting from these sexual unions. Not only should these children not be aborted because these children are human, also the existence of these children can be used as evidence of rape/incest.
On a social and personal level we do not like to discuss certain issues because they are surrounded by pecados (sins).
Some men have been date raped by their male boyfriends, and the reason they don't want to tell their wife is, "What are they doing with boyfriends in the first place?"
Leviticus 18:22 English Standard Version Bible says, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." Proverbs 5:18-19 Contemporary English Version Bible says, "Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful, just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love." Compared to God, who is eternal without beginning or end of life, we are all young.
God does not hate people who have same-sex sexual relations, same-sex romantic relationships, abortions, incestuous relationships, are rapists and other types of sexual/adulterous sins or any type of sin. God wants people to stop sinning and to start loving God, themselves and other people. Pecados (sins) are not sexy and sweet; pecados hurt and harm people.
Proverbs 28:13 Amplified Bible says, "He who covers his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes his sins will obtain mercy."
First tell God about your sins, and allow Him to heal you and to restore you to a right relationship with God and people. Also, allow God to lead you to the people you need to confess your sins to. James 5:16 Amplified Bible says, "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."
Are you involved in secret sins? Don't let Satan fool you with fear and other tactics. "Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman," said Marian Anderson, a singer and civil rights advocate. People experience consequences from our sins; they may or may not know the source of problems. Tell the truth, so that the situation can be transformed for good for you and for others.
In Chinese culture the number 8 is associated with prosperity. What can be more prosperous than lives filled with love?
Love wins when rape, incest, adultery, abortion and other sins end.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Sexual Curiosity and Forgiveness
Sometimes we can enjoy forbidden sex, unforgiveness or something else instead of enjoying an intimate relationship with God and the overflow of this relationship with God, things like sexuality within Biblical boundaries, peace of mind and other ways of God.
God fashioned the color of our skin. What God designed is good. Savor dark chocolate; gaze on the lightest brightness; or be memorized by a shade somewhere in the middle. God gave us eyes to enjoy much varied beauty.
As a girl in the early years of elementary school I wondered if the penises of black, Latino and white boys differed. So I conducted an experiment with naked boys.
A challenge exists to look but not to leap into partner-sex outside of marriage. Sadly, sometimes we leap. Gladly believers have God living on the inside giving us the power to find our way back to safe and enjoyable sexuality and spiritual wholeness. Watchman Nee writes in his book Sit Walk Stand The Process of Christian Maturity, "An engineer living in a large city in the West left his homeland for the Far East. He was away for two or three years, and during his absence his wife was unfaithful to him and went off with one of his best friends. On his return home he found he had lost his wife, his two children and his best friend. At the close of a meeting which I was addressing, this grief-stricken man unburdened himself to me. "Day and night for two solid years my heart has been full of hatred," he said. "I am a Christian, and I know I ought to forgive my wife and my friend, but though I try and try to forgive them, I simply cannot. Every day I resolve to love them, and every day I fail. What can I do about it?"
"Do nothing at all," I replied.
"What do you mean?" he asked, startled. "Am I to continue to hate them?"
So I explained, "The solution of your problem lies here, that when the Lord Jesus died on the cross, He not only bore your sins away, but He bore you away too. When He was crucified, your old man was crucified in Him, so that that unforgiving 'you,' who simply cannot love those who have wronged you, has been taken right out of the way in His death. God has dealt with the whole situation in the cross, and there is nothing left for you to deal with. Just say to Him, 'Lord, I cannot love, and I give up trying, but I count on Thy perfect love. I cannot forgive, but I trust Thee to forgive instead of me, and to do so henceforth in me."
What sins are you enjoying and/or suffering that need to turned over to God?
No temere. Don't be afraid to turn your sins over to God. Some sins are fun for a season, but all sin brings pain and destruction that becomes obvious sooner or later. Contrary to any deception you may believe, God ways are the most enjoyable way of living, and God has the power to live out His ways through you.
God fashioned the color of our skin. What God designed is good. Savor dark chocolate; gaze on the lightest brightness; or be memorized by a shade somewhere in the middle. God gave us eyes to enjoy much varied beauty.
As a girl in the early years of elementary school I wondered if the penises of black, Latino and white boys differed. So I conducted an experiment with naked boys.
A challenge exists to look but not to leap into partner-sex outside of marriage. Sadly, sometimes we leap. Gladly believers have God living on the inside giving us the power to find our way back to safe and enjoyable sexuality and spiritual wholeness. Watchman Nee writes in his book Sit Walk Stand The Process of Christian Maturity, "An engineer living in a large city in the West left his homeland for the Far East. He was away for two or three years, and during his absence his wife was unfaithful to him and went off with one of his best friends. On his return home he found he had lost his wife, his two children and his best friend. At the close of a meeting which I was addressing, this grief-stricken man unburdened himself to me. "Day and night for two solid years my heart has been full of hatred," he said. "I am a Christian, and I know I ought to forgive my wife and my friend, but though I try and try to forgive them, I simply cannot. Every day I resolve to love them, and every day I fail. What can I do about it?"
"Do nothing at all," I replied.
"What do you mean?" he asked, startled. "Am I to continue to hate them?"
So I explained, "The solution of your problem lies here, that when the Lord Jesus died on the cross, He not only bore your sins away, but He bore you away too. When He was crucified, your old man was crucified in Him, so that that unforgiving 'you,' who simply cannot love those who have wronged you, has been taken right out of the way in His death. God has dealt with the whole situation in the cross, and there is nothing left for you to deal with. Just say to Him, 'Lord, I cannot love, and I give up trying, but I count on Thy perfect love. I cannot forgive, but I trust Thee to forgive instead of me, and to do so henceforth in me."
What sins are you enjoying and/or suffering that need to turned over to God?
No temere. Don't be afraid to turn your sins over to God. Some sins are fun for a season, but all sin brings pain and destruction that becomes obvious sooner or later. Contrary to any deception you may believe, God ways are the most enjoyable way of living, and God has the power to live out His ways through you.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Coming Out
In the movie la mujer de mi hermano Ignacio is married to the drop-dead gorgeous, smart and kind, Zoe. Ignacio is highly successful in his work. Ignacio and Zoe live in a stunning house. One would think this would be the kind of couple that has sublime sex sometimes multiple times daily.
But Ignacio limits sex to Saturdays only.
While Ignacio has multiple issues, he doesn't present as an intentionally mean person. He goes to church and has a friendly relationship with the priest and his mother. In one scene Ignacio is concerned that a sexy, sleeveless black dress that Zoe wants to wear to church is not appropriate.
However, it's not her dress that is the problem, but Ignacio's failure to sexually satisfy his wife, Zoe. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:3 New Living Translation Bible, "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs."
The Apostle Paul also writes in Ephesians 5:25 Contemporary English Version Bible, "A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it." Whenever we receive a now and eternal relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1), we are giving up control of our life and turning the control over to God. God is anti-self-centeredness. God is love and works through us to not only love God but also love ourselves and other people. 1 John 4:7-11 English Standard Version Bible says, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
Because Zoe and Ignacio cannot have a child biologically and Ignacio refuses to have sex with Zoe except on Saturdays, Zoe decides to have sex with Ignacio's brother, Gonzalo. Sex with Gonzalo feels divine with all the licking, sucking, touching and kissing that should be inside her marriage. But sinful sex outside marriage also causes Zoe to cry and to renew her efforts to have more sex with her husband, Ignacio, who she really wants but they don't know how to have a marriage relationship.
Zoe is sad. Jill Scott writes in her poem "Blue" from her book The Moments, the Minutes,the Hours The poetry of Jill Scott:
"I put food coloring in my bath yesterday
Sat in a pretty blue
Let the drops fall from my finger tips
Onto my breast and my stomach
I just wanted to look how I feel
Without you."
Turns out that Ignacio likes men sexually. Ignacio sometimes uses his business trips to have sex with men.
God wants us to receive Him, talk to Him about His Bible and to really learn how to overcome homosexuality, other forms of sex outside of marriage and other sins and to live in enjoyable, beautiful, good relationships. Yes, homosexuality and other forms of adultery can be given up without settling for an unsatisfying life.
Christopher Yuan was in dental school and had a time where he had anonymous sexual encounters with men daily. He was also an illegal drug user and dealer. But God, a mom who prayed and fasted for seven years for Yuan's deliverance, a prison sentence and a HIV diagnosis caused Yuan to go from prisoner to professor. Today Yuan teaches at Moody Bible Institute and has a speaking ministry (christopheryuan.com). Some ex-gays are single like Yuan. Others are married with children like Pastor Mike Goeke, who is married to Stephanie Goeke. The Goeke children are Margaret, Frances and Peter.
While we are all born with a sin nature, we don't have to stay naked without God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit (like water has three states: liquid, ice, gas/steam) living on the inside of believers. Every day is a good day to receive God and grow in relationship with Him and people.
Please share stories about coming out of sexual sin into sexual victory.
But Ignacio limits sex to Saturdays only.
While Ignacio has multiple issues, he doesn't present as an intentionally mean person. He goes to church and has a friendly relationship with the priest and his mother. In one scene Ignacio is concerned that a sexy, sleeveless black dress that Zoe wants to wear to church is not appropriate.
However, it's not her dress that is the problem, but Ignacio's failure to sexually satisfy his wife, Zoe. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:3 New Living Translation Bible, "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs."
The Apostle Paul also writes in Ephesians 5:25 Contemporary English Version Bible, "A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it." Whenever we receive a now and eternal relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost (1 X 1 X 1 = 1), we are giving up control of our life and turning the control over to God. God is anti-self-centeredness. God is love and works through us to not only love God but also love ourselves and other people. 1 John 4:7-11 English Standard Version Bible says, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
Because Zoe and Ignacio cannot have a child biologically and Ignacio refuses to have sex with Zoe except on Saturdays, Zoe decides to have sex with Ignacio's brother, Gonzalo. Sex with Gonzalo feels divine with all the licking, sucking, touching and kissing that should be inside her marriage. But sinful sex outside marriage also causes Zoe to cry and to renew her efforts to have more sex with her husband, Ignacio, who she really wants but they don't know how to have a marriage relationship.
Zoe is sad. Jill Scott writes in her poem "Blue" from her book The Moments, the Minutes,the Hours The poetry of Jill Scott:
"I put food coloring in my bath yesterday
Sat in a pretty blue
Let the drops fall from my finger tips
Onto my breast and my stomach
I just wanted to look how I feel
Without you."
Turns out that Ignacio likes men sexually. Ignacio sometimes uses his business trips to have sex with men.
God wants us to receive Him, talk to Him about His Bible and to really learn how to overcome homosexuality, other forms of sex outside of marriage and other sins and to live in enjoyable, beautiful, good relationships. Yes, homosexuality and other forms of adultery can be given up without settling for an unsatisfying life.
Christopher Yuan was in dental school and had a time where he had anonymous sexual encounters with men daily. He was also an illegal drug user and dealer. But God, a mom who prayed and fasted for seven years for Yuan's deliverance, a prison sentence and a HIV diagnosis caused Yuan to go from prisoner to professor. Today Yuan teaches at Moody Bible Institute and has a speaking ministry (christopheryuan.com). Some ex-gays are single like Yuan. Others are married with children like Pastor Mike Goeke, who is married to Stephanie Goeke. The Goeke children are Margaret, Frances and Peter.
While we are all born with a sin nature, we don't have to stay naked without God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit (like water has three states: liquid, ice, gas/steam) living on the inside of believers. Every day is a good day to receive God and grow in relationship with Him and people.
Please share stories about coming out of sexual sin into sexual victory.
Monday, February 11, 2013
God and the Gay Lifestyle
Religious leaders wanted to stone to death a woman caught in adultery as recorded in John 8. In response to the leaders Jesus Christ said, ". . . Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her," and to the woman He said, ". . . I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more."
Sexual freedom is found when we are free of condemnation and harmful living, being led to be whole and to do good in a daily relationship with God. The religious leaders where trying to stone the woman based on texts such as Leviticus 18 and Deuteronomy 22 which discuss various sexual sins including sex outside marriage and the gay lifestyle which the 2000 Census reports one to four percent of gays make up the population of most U.S. cities. John 8 does not mention the man or woman who the woman caught in adultery was having sex with.
When Jesus implemented His earthly ministry more than 2,000 years ago He revealed the loving way to use the law. God loves us and tells us the way to live that will bring goodness and an enjoyable life for ourselves and others. Charlene Cothran is an African-American who was involved in gay-rights activism and lesbian relationships for nearly 30 years. God has been loving Cothran since way before she was born and was not content to allow her to live in darkness. God revealed Himself in a compelling way in 2006, and Cothran received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Today Cothran is a licensed and ordained international minister and has founded a ministry called The EVIDENCE Ministry, Inc. Cothran says about EVIDENCE, "God has shown me that people who no longer want homosexuality and other sexual brokenness in their lives need to see the EVIDENCE of change in those who are now made free by simply believing and applying the Word of God to daily life."
Mike and Stephanie Goeke were married in September of 1994, but Mike bolted from their marriage in November of 1996 to build a homosexual lifestyle. Mike knew the difference between right and wrong, yet Mike chose to do things his way instead of God's way reminiscent of prideful ancient Egypt who had the knowledge of God but rejected it to chose to worship multiple gods which are really the glorification/deification/pride of man in their Egyptian Mystery System.
Mike's pride and rebellion didn't stop God from keeping His compassionate hand on Mike and Stephanie. After six months of separation, this couple reconciled. In 1999, they formed Cross Power Ministries. In 2001, Mike left the practice of law to go on staff at Stonegate Fellowship in Midland, Texas, as Executive Pastor. In 2005, Mike took the position of Executive Vice President and Church Liaison for Exodus International in Orlando, Florida. They moved back to Midland in December of 2006, and Mike is currently a pastor in the counseling department of Stonegate Fellowship. Mike and Stephanie have three young children named Margaret, Frances and Peter.
When Mike confronted Stephanie with his homosexuality, she could have fainted and fled from her marriage. Instead she forwent divorce and deliberately kept hope of reconciliation alive and diligently chased after God.
Love and courage are needed to confront people who choose to harm themselves and others through the gay lifestyle and other sins. Jesus showed in John 8 that confrontation need not be violent or disrespectful or unloving. Mike Goeke writes in his article "A Changed Life, A Changed Man" dated October 5, 2010, for the exodusinternational.org website, "On November 1, 1996, I left Stephanie a letter on the door telling her I was gay and that I wanted a divorce. After leaving Stephanie, I made up for lost time and jumped head first into the gay lifestyle. I was out and proud. I went to the Metropolitan Community Church and was determined to be a different kind of gay man – moral, upright and nonpromiscuous. I failed miserably and completely from day one. Meanwhile, the immediate rejection from Stephanie and my family that I expected did not happen. While no one accepted what I was doing as right, no one rejected me or cut me off. Stephanie had known nothing of my struggle and had no exposure to homosexuality, but she refused to pursue a divorce. She said “God put us together and I don't know how, but I know He can repair this situation."
God created our skin with delicate nerve endings that release into our bodies endorphins and oxytocin -- "feel good" chemicals. When a man and a man or a woman and a woman have sexual relations it feels good and is bonding.
Yet everything that feels good is not good. It also feels good to some to eat themselves into obesity. Obesity is a health hazard linked to multiple diseases including heart disease, diabetes and cancers. Homosexuality and lesbianism disfigure the beautiful sexuality that God created and in a marriage and family context denies the couple and the children the learning and appreciation of differences in a father and mother. "Vive la difference!"(Long live the difference (between the sexes)). Ravi Zacharias says in his sermon "Acceptance of Homosexuality in Christianity" that it is absolutely possible to have a homosexual orientation, be a Christian and not practice homosexual sex acts. Zacharias says, "Sex is a sacred gift of God" designed to be engaged in between a husband and wife. Christoper Yuan, an ex-gay who with his mother coauthored a book about his experience called Out of a Far Country and travels the world to speak about homosexuality, says in the November 26, 2012, article "Focus on "Holy Sexuality" -- Real Stories for November 2012" for the exodusinternational.org website, "Change is not the absence of struggles, it’s the freedom to choose holiness in the midst of those struggles."
Homosexual, lesbian, heterosexual sex outside of marriage, other sins don't stop God from loving us passionately. Pregnant women in predynastic Egypt wore tattoos as protective amulets on their abdomens, thighs and breasts. While we wouldn't want to worship the wrong one, God likes tattoos and people. Believers are Zion. Isaiah 49:16 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me." God is willing and able to redeem us all and make us holy and righteous. Hebrews 10:10, 14 Amplified Bible says about those who have received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost, "And in accordance with this will [of God], we have been made holy (consecrated and sanctified) through the offering made once for all of the body of Jesus Christ (the Anointed One). . . . For by a single offering He has forever completely cleansed and perfected those who are consecrated and made holy."
Many have come out of the gay life in a similar way that many heterosexuals have come out of a lifestyle of practicing partner sex outside of marriage. Coming out of sexual sin is not simple and is often not a short-term process. "Muchas personas han tenido que tragar sapos para estar saludables." ("Many people had to swallow toads (to go through hell) to be healthy."
Sometimes people go through a season of several times of entering and exiting the gay life before they leave it permanently. Minister and Gospel singer Donnie McClurkin was raped by his uncle at eight years of age; he became a homosexual; eventually, Jesus delivered him from homosexuality. McClurkin sings in his song "We Fall Down" from the album Praise Your Way Out: Songs of Inspiration & Hope, "We fall down, but we get up. We fall down, but we get up. For a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up."
Please share testimonies of coming out of the homosexual or lesbian lifestyle and into a vibrant relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Please feel free to give details of the process of liberation. "Pasos cortos, vista larga." ("Short steps, long view.")
Robert, a former homosexual and current member of Courage, a support group for homosexuals and lesbians coming out of the gay life style and maintaining a life of Biblical sexuality, writes in his testimony for the website couragerc.com, "For me, same-sex lust has been a futile attempt to be who I am (my own man) by trying to possess another man. But instead of becoming whole, I'd simply be left as I was, and I would have abused the other man. In reality, I don't need to possess another man. Rather, by fixating on and uniting with Jesus and growing in friendship and virtue with other men, I can let God give me my own man, that is, myself . . . God wants each of us to confidently be the gifts-the men and women-He made us to be. He wants us to give ourselves away. Love is self-giving, not other-taking. We find our fulfillment in becoming like Christ, who gave us His all."
Dr. Derek Grier said in his January 13, 2013, mid-morning sermon, "The more I get to know God, the more I get to know myself."
Courage also has Courage Latino, Courage Italia and Courage French.
Cothran says as a lesbian there were times of joy and also times of intense loneliness, but today freed from a gay life and found in relationship with God, she says, "The peace and joy that I have I wouldn't trade for anything."
I once had a homosexual tell me he was against abortion, but in favor of anal intercourse. He began to tell me how to have anal intercourse. I cut him off with diversion, but now I think it would be better to deal directly with anal intercourse from a Biblical perspective. Please be my mitr (friend), if you are an ex-gay who has had anal intercourse or a heterosexual, please leave an on-line comment explaining your Biblical perspective on this practice.
The body of Jesus Christ should be equipped to handle a wide variety of issues, so that we can be used by God to spread His Kingdom widely. Bishop T.D. Jakes says something that should be applicable to all of us: "I believe my destiny is to help others reach their destiny." Here is an excellent video on equipping leaders from John Maxwell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLkRPmYBtX8. Please leave on-line comments.
Some sexual practices are different, but not diabolical. In the movie Dances With Wolves the wife of the Sioux holy man is on top of him making delicious while family and friends are sleeping in the same room! Other people are not participating in the marital sex, they are just present. In our current American culture, some parents complain that after having children, their sex life tanks. Please leave an on-line comment giving your views about the Dances With Wolves sexual technique and if you think it would help parental, marital sex life. Please also share other marital-sex practices among Native American tribes.
You don't have to be a Native American to share your thoughts on marital sex. Have you christened every room of your house with the marriage ménage à trois of God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost, a wife and a husband? Do you play spousal games like "Hide and Go Freak," Manos Arriba (Hands Up) or invent your own games?
For much of American history it was illegal for people of different races to be married. It wasn't until 1967, which just happens to be the year I was born, that interracial marriage in America was legal. Before it was legal Fred and Ann Jealous were a white and black couple. Benjamin Jealous, their son and a Rhodes scholar, is currently the president of the NAACP, the oldest civil rights organization in the country. Do you think interracial couples are still persecuted in America?
What are some wonderful ways we could welcome persons in the gay lifestyle and work with them to encourage a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and then equip them for a Kingdom lifestyle?
Where are the tongues of fire falling on apostolic heads in the modern church age?
It seems like too many horror stories exist like The Beast and A Baptist instead of love stories like The Beautiful and Bold Bride. Of course in every section of the body of Christ and the world at large their are good and bad people.
Proverbs 11:25 Amplified Bible says, "The liberal person shall be enriched, and he who waters shall himself be watered."
Money is not the only way to be generous, but it is a wonderful tool to advance the Kingdom of God. One word for cash in Spanish is efectivo. Luke 16:8-9 the Message Bible says, "“Now here’s a surprise: The master praised the crooked manager! And why? Because he knew how to look after himself. Streetwise people are smarter in this regard than law-abiding citizens. They are on constant alert, looking for angles, surviving by their wits. I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you’ll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behavior.”"
Sexual freedom is found when we are free of condemnation and harmful living, being led to be whole and to do good in a daily relationship with God. The religious leaders where trying to stone the woman based on texts such as Leviticus 18 and Deuteronomy 22 which discuss various sexual sins including sex outside marriage and the gay lifestyle which the 2000 Census reports one to four percent of gays make up the population of most U.S. cities. John 8 does not mention the man or woman who the woman caught in adultery was having sex with.
When Jesus implemented His earthly ministry more than 2,000 years ago He revealed the loving way to use the law. God loves us and tells us the way to live that will bring goodness and an enjoyable life for ourselves and others. Charlene Cothran is an African-American who was involved in gay-rights activism and lesbian relationships for nearly 30 years. God has been loving Cothran since way before she was born and was not content to allow her to live in darkness. God revealed Himself in a compelling way in 2006, and Cothran received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Today Cothran is a licensed and ordained international minister and has founded a ministry called The EVIDENCE Ministry, Inc. Cothran says about EVIDENCE, "God has shown me that people who no longer want homosexuality and other sexual brokenness in their lives need to see the EVIDENCE of change in those who are now made free by simply believing and applying the Word of God to daily life."
Mike and Stephanie Goeke were married in September of 1994, but Mike bolted from their marriage in November of 1996 to build a homosexual lifestyle. Mike knew the difference between right and wrong, yet Mike chose to do things his way instead of God's way reminiscent of prideful ancient Egypt who had the knowledge of God but rejected it to chose to worship multiple gods which are really the glorification/deification/pride of man in their Egyptian Mystery System.
Mike's pride and rebellion didn't stop God from keeping His compassionate hand on Mike and Stephanie. After six months of separation, this couple reconciled. In 1999, they formed Cross Power Ministries. In 2001, Mike left the practice of law to go on staff at Stonegate Fellowship in Midland, Texas, as Executive Pastor. In 2005, Mike took the position of Executive Vice President and Church Liaison for Exodus International in Orlando, Florida. They moved back to Midland in December of 2006, and Mike is currently a pastor in the counseling department of Stonegate Fellowship. Mike and Stephanie have three young children named Margaret, Frances and Peter.
When Mike confronted Stephanie with his homosexuality, she could have fainted and fled from her marriage. Instead she forwent divorce and deliberately kept hope of reconciliation alive and diligently chased after God.
Love and courage are needed to confront people who choose to harm themselves and others through the gay lifestyle and other sins. Jesus showed in John 8 that confrontation need not be violent or disrespectful or unloving. Mike Goeke writes in his article "A Changed Life, A Changed Man" dated October 5, 2010, for the exodusinternational.org website, "On November 1, 1996, I left Stephanie a letter on the door telling her I was gay and that I wanted a divorce. After leaving Stephanie, I made up for lost time and jumped head first into the gay lifestyle. I was out and proud. I went to the Metropolitan Community Church and was determined to be a different kind of gay man – moral, upright and nonpromiscuous. I failed miserably and completely from day one. Meanwhile, the immediate rejection from Stephanie and my family that I expected did not happen. While no one accepted what I was doing as right, no one rejected me or cut me off. Stephanie had known nothing of my struggle and had no exposure to homosexuality, but she refused to pursue a divorce. She said “God put us together and I don't know how, but I know He can repair this situation."
God created our skin with delicate nerve endings that release into our bodies endorphins and oxytocin -- "feel good" chemicals. When a man and a man or a woman and a woman have sexual relations it feels good and is bonding.
Yet everything that feels good is not good. It also feels good to some to eat themselves into obesity. Obesity is a health hazard linked to multiple diseases including heart disease, diabetes and cancers. Homosexuality and lesbianism disfigure the beautiful sexuality that God created and in a marriage and family context denies the couple and the children the learning and appreciation of differences in a father and mother. "Vive la difference!"(Long live the difference (between the sexes)). Ravi Zacharias says in his sermon "Acceptance of Homosexuality in Christianity" that it is absolutely possible to have a homosexual orientation, be a Christian and not practice homosexual sex acts. Zacharias says, "Sex is a sacred gift of God" designed to be engaged in between a husband and wife. Christoper Yuan, an ex-gay who with his mother coauthored a book about his experience called Out of a Far Country and travels the world to speak about homosexuality, says in the November 26, 2012, article "Focus on "Holy Sexuality" -- Real Stories for November 2012" for the exodusinternational.org website, "Change is not the absence of struggles, it’s the freedom to choose holiness in the midst of those struggles."
Homosexual, lesbian, heterosexual sex outside of marriage, other sins don't stop God from loving us passionately. Pregnant women in predynastic Egypt wore tattoos as protective amulets on their abdomens, thighs and breasts. While we wouldn't want to worship the wrong one, God likes tattoos and people. Believers are Zion. Isaiah 49:16 Amplified Bible says, "Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me." God is willing and able to redeem us all and make us holy and righteous. Hebrews 10:10, 14 Amplified Bible says about those who have received a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost, "And in accordance with this will [of God], we have been made holy (consecrated and sanctified) through the offering made once for all of the body of Jesus Christ (the Anointed One). . . . For by a single offering He has forever completely cleansed and perfected those who are consecrated and made holy."
Many have come out of the gay life in a similar way that many heterosexuals have come out of a lifestyle of practicing partner sex outside of marriage. Coming out of sexual sin is not simple and is often not a short-term process. "Muchas personas han tenido que tragar sapos para estar saludables." ("Many people had to swallow toads (to go through hell) to be healthy."
Sometimes people go through a season of several times of entering and exiting the gay life before they leave it permanently. Minister and Gospel singer Donnie McClurkin was raped by his uncle at eight years of age; he became a homosexual; eventually, Jesus delivered him from homosexuality. McClurkin sings in his song "We Fall Down" from the album Praise Your Way Out: Songs of Inspiration & Hope, "We fall down, but we get up. We fall down, but we get up. For a saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up."
Please share testimonies of coming out of the homosexual or lesbian lifestyle and into a vibrant relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost. Please feel free to give details of the process of liberation. "Pasos cortos, vista larga." ("Short steps, long view.")
Robert, a former homosexual and current member of Courage, a support group for homosexuals and lesbians coming out of the gay life style and maintaining a life of Biblical sexuality, writes in his testimony for the website couragerc.com, "For me, same-sex lust has been a futile attempt to be who I am (my own man) by trying to possess another man. But instead of becoming whole, I'd simply be left as I was, and I would have abused the other man. In reality, I don't need to possess another man. Rather, by fixating on and uniting with Jesus and growing in friendship and virtue with other men, I can let God give me my own man, that is, myself . . . God wants each of us to confidently be the gifts-the men and women-He made us to be. He wants us to give ourselves away. Love is self-giving, not other-taking. We find our fulfillment in becoming like Christ, who gave us His all."
Dr. Derek Grier said in his January 13, 2013, mid-morning sermon, "The more I get to know God, the more I get to know myself."
Courage also has Courage Latino, Courage Italia and Courage French.
Cothran says as a lesbian there were times of joy and also times of intense loneliness, but today freed from a gay life and found in relationship with God, she says, "The peace and joy that I have I wouldn't trade for anything."
I once had a homosexual tell me he was against abortion, but in favor of anal intercourse. He began to tell me how to have anal intercourse. I cut him off with diversion, but now I think it would be better to deal directly with anal intercourse from a Biblical perspective. Please be my mitr (friend), if you are an ex-gay who has had anal intercourse or a heterosexual, please leave an on-line comment explaining your Biblical perspective on this practice.
The body of Jesus Christ should be equipped to handle a wide variety of issues, so that we can be used by God to spread His Kingdom widely. Bishop T.D. Jakes says something that should be applicable to all of us: "I believe my destiny is to help others reach their destiny." Here is an excellent video on equipping leaders from John Maxwell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLkRPmYBtX8. Please leave on-line comments.
Some sexual practices are different, but not diabolical. In the movie Dances With Wolves the wife of the Sioux holy man is on top of him making delicious while family and friends are sleeping in the same room! Other people are not participating in the marital sex, they are just present. In our current American culture, some parents complain that after having children, their sex life tanks. Please leave an on-line comment giving your views about the Dances With Wolves sexual technique and if you think it would help parental, marital sex life. Please also share other marital-sex practices among Native American tribes.
You don't have to be a Native American to share your thoughts on marital sex. Have you christened every room of your house with the marriage ménage à trois of God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost, a wife and a husband? Do you play spousal games like "Hide and Go Freak," Manos Arriba (Hands Up) or invent your own games?
For much of American history it was illegal for people of different races to be married. It wasn't until 1967, which just happens to be the year I was born, that interracial marriage in America was legal. Before it was legal Fred and Ann Jealous were a white and black couple. Benjamin Jealous, their son and a Rhodes scholar, is currently the president of the NAACP, the oldest civil rights organization in the country. Do you think interracial couples are still persecuted in America?
What are some wonderful ways we could welcome persons in the gay lifestyle and work with them to encourage a relationship with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Ghost and then equip them for a Kingdom lifestyle?
Where are the tongues of fire falling on apostolic heads in the modern church age?
It seems like too many horror stories exist like The Beast and A Baptist instead of love stories like The Beautiful and Bold Bride. Of course in every section of the body of Christ and the world at large their are good and bad people.
Proverbs 11:25 Amplified Bible says, "The liberal person shall be enriched, and he who waters shall himself be watered."
Money is not the only way to be generous, but it is a wonderful tool to advance the Kingdom of God. One word for cash in Spanish is efectivo. Luke 16:8-9 the Message Bible says, "“Now here’s a surprise: The master praised the crooked manager! And why? Because he knew how to look after himself. Streetwise people are smarter in this regard than law-abiding citizens. They are on constant alert, looking for angles, surviving by their wits. I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you’ll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behavior.”"
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Financial Infidelity
Psalm 18:25 New Living Translation Bible says, "To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity." We often receive what we give. Many of us desire transparency, trust and true love, but live contrary to our beliefs. Financial infidelity is rampant in marriages because we are not faithful in our management of finances which enables our spouses to be unfaithful. Common transparency and trust sins are failing to discuss and unite around financial values and goals, creating and maintaining an atmosphere of unequal knowledge about all family finances, hiding credit card statements, demanding bank statements for your-eyes-only via email, hiding paychecks, secret spending sprees, failing to appreciate each others money management styles, failing to create and cooperate with a mutually-agreed-upon money management system, etc. Prayer and asking God and ones spouse for forgiveness are a start to fixing financial infidelity.
Next empathize to enable understanding of a spouse who may have a different money management style from our own. We are not all motivated by the same things. Some of us are motivated by authority or attention. Others are motivated by acceptance or accuracy. God made us different because He likes diversity. We can learn about God by studying diversity. Cherish the God in your spouse instead of habitual criticizing.
Both men and women need to be well informed about money and financial issues. Some wives sin in leaving all or most of the responsibility for household finances with their husbands. It's a dangerous way to live with 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce and age 56 being the average age of widowhood.
Someone motivated by authority views money as power. They are highly productive, focused and hardworking. They always seem to have a vision. Having vision is godly. Proverbs 29:18 Amplified Bible says, "Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he." They have clear ideas to manage large budgets and large challenges and take large risks. They have to be careful to remember that personal relationships with people are just as important as the big vision. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 English Standard Version, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Someone motivated by attention views money as a way to connect with people and to create memories. They are very generous. Generosity is a way to expand the kingdom of God. Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible says, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)." They have to be careful not to overspend and to value savings and investments.
Someone motivated by acceptance desires to live in peace. They want simplicity and balance around money issues not living in the stress of spending more than a family makes. They value getting along with each other and cooperation. Romans 12:18 New Living Translation Bible says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." They need to make sure they confront money issues as needed and not pursue peace at any price.
Someone motivated by accuracy desires to follow a specific money management system. They are emotionally attached to a budget. If the budget is $100.00 a week for groceries; spending $110.00 will probably cause an argument. They are big on saving, loss prevention, planning, counting their money and assets and minimizing their liabilities. They like to be in the know, and don't like surprises. Proverbs 27:23 Amplified Bible says, "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your herds." God is for savings and investments and having more than enough. Psalm 33:7 Amplified Bible says, "He gathers the waters of the sea as in a bottle; He puts the deeps in storage places." Those motivated by accuracy have to be careful as they accumulate more financial resources not to place their security in resources instead of God. They also have to guard against stinginess. While we want to have more than enough, they have to sometimes remember spending and giving are good; money and financial resources are tools to be used for the glory of God in all areas of living.
After understanding and empathizing with our spouse comes seeking ways to cooperate and collaborate. View differences positively. Lose attitudes of superiority. Mutual respect and participation in money management are vital. God made each one of us unique, so our way of coming together in money management will be unique. Coming together involves:
praying,
forgiving,
brainstorming,
talking,
studying,
researching,
committing to each other and agreements and
meditating on the agreements to live them out daily.
Sometimes a spouse struggles to forgive a bankruptcy, large gambling debt, huge investment failure, a housing foreclosure, a job or business loss, a lack of job promotion or business growth or some other financial failure. Joyce Meyer writes in her book, Love Out Loud 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others, "Do you hold unforgiveness toward anyone for any reason? If so, it needs to be eliminated from your heart and mind right away because it's keeping you in bondage. You may be thinking, Well, Joyce, that's easy for you to say. You haven't been hurt like I have. That is true, but I have been hurt in life to a very deep degree. I was abused, abandoned, rejected, blamed, lied about, misunderstood, and betrayed by family and friends, and I allowed the enemy to fill my heart with hatred for those who hurt me. But when I began to learn about love, I moved from hatred to bitterness to mild resentment and finally to freedom, which only comes through forgiveness. The Lord graciously brought restitution into my life. God promises to bring justice into our lives and to give us a double reward for our former shame, pain, and unfair treatment (See Isa. 61:7). When we try to bring justice ourselves through vengeful acts, we only prevent God from working on our behalf."
Money challenges are not always the result of negative life experiences. When a spouse retires before age 50, starts a business, inherits a large sum of money and/or property or some other significant, positive, financial experience, the other spouse may experience feelings of jealousy, envy, resentment and/or other negative emotions and attitudes. All emotions and attitudes impact the atmosphere in a marriage. Proverbs 14:30 Amplified Bible says, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 27:4 Amplified Bible says, "Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, but who is able to stand before jealousy?"
Money and other financial issues can be very difficult to discuss. Be sure to rely on the Holy-Spirit-given fruit of self-control and the wisdom of our Christ mind to manage our emotions. Ravi Zacharias counsels in his sermon, "Divided Heart, Divided Home," "But if good advice is to be effective. It should be timed rightly." Converse at times that are convenient for both members of the couple. Lynn Toler says in her book, Making Marriage Work New Rules For An Old Institution, "If you think of communication as the Superman of relationships, Right Now is Kryptonite. Right Now is when the issue first arises. Right Now is when you are mad. Right Now is when the hurt you feel about what he or she has done is felt for the first time. Right Now is good for arguments, catharses, and contention. Right Now is almost never amenable to a conversation."
It also doesn't hurt to create a calming environment for conversation. Perhaps putting on Lonnie Plaxico's Melange jazz album, or one of your favorite albums, or whatever it is that you both enjoy and find edifying for conversation. The little things that show you took the time and effort to know what pleases a person can really communicate love. Dr. Derek Grier writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom Insight In An Instant, "John Maxwell, an expert on gaining personal influence, states, "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." In other words, before you attempt to direct, you must connect."
If financial infidelity has visited our home, living according to Biblical principles will encourage financial infidelity to leave as an unwelcome guest.
Next empathize to enable understanding of a spouse who may have a different money management style from our own. We are not all motivated by the same things. Some of us are motivated by authority or attention. Others are motivated by acceptance or accuracy. God made us different because He likes diversity. We can learn about God by studying diversity. Cherish the God in your spouse instead of habitual criticizing.
Both men and women need to be well informed about money and financial issues. Some wives sin in leaving all or most of the responsibility for household finances with their husbands. It's a dangerous way to live with 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce and age 56 being the average age of widowhood.
Someone motivated by authority views money as power. They are highly productive, focused and hardworking. They always seem to have a vision. Having vision is godly. Proverbs 29:18 Amplified Bible says, "Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he." They have clear ideas to manage large budgets and large challenges and take large risks. They have to be careful to remember that personal relationships with people are just as important as the big vision. Jesus Christ says in John 13:34-35 English Standard Version, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Someone motivated by attention views money as a way to connect with people and to create memories. They are very generous. Generosity is a way to expand the kingdom of God. Luke 16:9 Amplified Bible says, "And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions), so that when it fails, they [those you have favored] may receive and welcome you into the everlasting habitations (dwellings)." They have to be careful not to overspend and to value savings and investments.
Someone motivated by acceptance desires to live in peace. They want simplicity and balance around money issues not living in the stress of spending more than a family makes. They value getting along with each other and cooperation. Romans 12:18 New Living Translation Bible says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." They need to make sure they confront money issues as needed and not pursue peace at any price.
Someone motivated by accuracy desires to follow a specific money management system. They are emotionally attached to a budget. If the budget is $100.00 a week for groceries; spending $110.00 will probably cause an argument. They are big on saving, loss prevention, planning, counting their money and assets and minimizing their liabilities. They like to be in the know, and don't like surprises. Proverbs 27:23 Amplified Bible says, "Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and look well to your herds." God is for savings and investments and having more than enough. Psalm 33:7 Amplified Bible says, "He gathers the waters of the sea as in a bottle; He puts the deeps in storage places." Those motivated by accuracy have to be careful as they accumulate more financial resources not to place their security in resources instead of God. They also have to guard against stinginess. While we want to have more than enough, they have to sometimes remember spending and giving are good; money and financial resources are tools to be used for the glory of God in all areas of living.
After understanding and empathizing with our spouse comes seeking ways to cooperate and collaborate. View differences positively. Lose attitudes of superiority. Mutual respect and participation in money management are vital. God made each one of us unique, so our way of coming together in money management will be unique. Coming together involves:
praying,
forgiving,
brainstorming,
talking,
studying,
researching,
committing to each other and agreements and
meditating on the agreements to live them out daily.
Sometimes a spouse struggles to forgive a bankruptcy, large gambling debt, huge investment failure, a housing foreclosure, a job or business loss, a lack of job promotion or business growth or some other financial failure. Joyce Meyer writes in her book, Love Out Loud 365 Devotions for Loving God, Loving Yourself, and Loving Others, "Do you hold unforgiveness toward anyone for any reason? If so, it needs to be eliminated from your heart and mind right away because it's keeping you in bondage. You may be thinking, Well, Joyce, that's easy for you to say. You haven't been hurt like I have. That is true, but I have been hurt in life to a very deep degree. I was abused, abandoned, rejected, blamed, lied about, misunderstood, and betrayed by family and friends, and I allowed the enemy to fill my heart with hatred for those who hurt me. But when I began to learn about love, I moved from hatred to bitterness to mild resentment and finally to freedom, which only comes through forgiveness. The Lord graciously brought restitution into my life. God promises to bring justice into our lives and to give us a double reward for our former shame, pain, and unfair treatment (See Isa. 61:7). When we try to bring justice ourselves through vengeful acts, we only prevent God from working on our behalf."
Money challenges are not always the result of negative life experiences. When a spouse retires before age 50, starts a business, inherits a large sum of money and/or property or some other significant, positive, financial experience, the other spouse may experience feelings of jealousy, envy, resentment and/or other negative emotions and attitudes. All emotions and attitudes impact the atmosphere in a marriage. Proverbs 14:30 Amplified Bible says, "A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones." Proverbs 27:4 Amplified Bible says, "Wrath is cruel and anger is an overwhelming flood, but who is able to stand before jealousy?"
Money and other financial issues can be very difficult to discuss. Be sure to rely on the Holy-Spirit-given fruit of self-control and the wisdom of our Christ mind to manage our emotions. Ravi Zacharias counsels in his sermon, "Divided Heart, Divided Home," "But if good advice is to be effective. It should be timed rightly." Converse at times that are convenient for both members of the couple. Lynn Toler says in her book, Making Marriage Work New Rules For An Old Institution, "If you think of communication as the Superman of relationships, Right Now is Kryptonite. Right Now is when the issue first arises. Right Now is when you are mad. Right Now is when the hurt you feel about what he or she has done is felt for the first time. Right Now is good for arguments, catharses, and contention. Right Now is almost never amenable to a conversation."
It also doesn't hurt to create a calming environment for conversation. Perhaps putting on Lonnie Plaxico's Melange jazz album, or one of your favorite albums, or whatever it is that you both enjoy and find edifying for conversation. The little things that show you took the time and effort to know what pleases a person can really communicate love. Dr. Derek Grier writes in his book, 60 Minutes of Wisdom Insight In An Instant, "John Maxwell, an expert on gaining personal influence, states, "People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." In other words, before you attempt to direct, you must connect."
If financial infidelity has visited our home, living according to Biblical principles will encourage financial infidelity to leave as an unwelcome guest.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Sexual Dissatisfaction
Broken couples come in many varieties. A few varieties are divorce, a one-night stand, stayover, Living Apart Together (LAT), Living Together Apart (LTA,) friends with benefits, homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, sexless marriage etc. Stayover relationships are a monogamous relationship in which the couple sleeps together three or more nights weekly but does not live together. Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships are couples who live in separate residences, spend a few more nights together than stayover couples. Living Together Apart (LTA) relationships are couples who have children together, live together, but the love and sex is gone. Friends with benefits may or may not be in a monogamous sexual relationship. Some are in sexual relationships with people of the same sex. Some married couples have had zero to ten lovemaking sessions annually. Sexual sin through divorce, a one-night stand, stayover, LAT, friends with benefits, LTA, homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, sexless marriage or some other way is still sin. Romans 6:23 Amplified Bible says, "For the wages which sin pays is death, but the [bountiful] free gift of God is eternal life through (in union with) Jesus Christ our Lord."
God is for sex. He designed it. God set apart sublime partner-sex for marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 English Standard Version Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." If one has partner-sex outside of marriage, then shame comes with it. If one refuses to have sex inside of marriage, then shame comes with it.
Whether we are married or not, sex bonds us to another person. Contrary to what we see in some entertainment and other aspects of American culture, no one changes sexual partners with the ease of changing our clothes. When a sexual relationship ends, it is the ripping apart of one person from another person spiritually, mentally and physically. Some are ripped apart internally and don't even know it. For example, many suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity rooted in sexual sin, but are unaware that sexual sin is the root of their problem. In the movie, The Ideal Husband, a single beautician, who is proud that she is dating a married man because the relationship has no strings and no commitment unlike her mother who was married four times and begged the husbands to stay, one day cuts the hair of a woman married 22 years. Over the course of the conversation she realizes she is chasing a man that is not that into her; she has little peace and is not loving herself. She ends up agreeing with the married woman that in romantic relationships some deal breakers are if someone knocks you upside your head or is married.
One way to define love is good choices, commitment and constructive action. Please leave an on-line comment giving your definition of love.
On another day a different single beautician in The Ideal Husband has her boyfriend come to her place of work and announce that he has received a job offer in Tampa, Florida, with twice the pay and better benefits. He asks her to move to Tampa and shack with him. To which she responds, "If we love each other, then there should be no other option than marriage." He says he wants to try living together before marriage. She says, "Roger, you been knowing me for five years now." He says no to marriage. She says, "Roger, I love you, but I love me first. I don't just want to be your temporary fix." They go their separate ways. She is secure in her relationship with Jesus Christ, but many are not.
Please leave an on-line comment about the plethora of discussion in multiple media about sexual insecurities.
When we have been sexually active, and then seek to live Biblical, we will probably experience a detox that is every bit as intense as what a detoxing drug addict experiences.
Sex is never just a physical act no matter how brief or long-term the sexual relationship. The Bible reveals that casual sex doesn't exist. Even in a one-night stand, sex is oneness or cohabiting. By studying different translations of the Bible, we may receive a fuller flavor of God's message to us. Genesis 38:26 Amplified Bible describes the one-night stand sex between Judah and Tamar, " . . . And he did not cohabit with her again."
Sexuality is a central part of the real us. The real us is God's home/sanctuary. God designed sexuality to be a sanctuary, a place of security, shelter and celebration to worship God. Biblical sexuality counsels singles to celebrate their sexuality without engaging in sexual relationships with others. Biblical sexuality counsels married couples to celebrate lovemaking as the sharing of each other with intense joy and participation in God's presence and each others presence.
The celebration of sexuality is missing in much of Christianity largely because many spend a lot of energy trying to cover up sex. God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Some Christians are not experiencing God's best in this area due to sexual sin. When God makes us whole, as He is healing us, God exposes us to the Light. Darkness, trying to cover up sex, is from the devil. Biblical sexual purity does not include a lifestyle of promoting ignorance and/or shame. God counsels us to get much clear knowledge, understanding and wisdom, and then give it to others through love.
Judah was not married to Tamar, yet the Bible says in Genesis 38:16-18 Amplified Bible, "He turned to her by the road and said, Come, let me have intercourse with you; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, What will you give me that you may have intercourse with me? He answered, I will send you a kid from the flock. And she said, Will you give me a pledge (deposit) until you send it? And he said, What pledge shall I give you? She said, Your signet [seal], your [signet] cord, and your staff that is in your hand. And he gave them to her and came in to her, and she became pregnant by him." God uses language like "intercourse" and "came in to her" to describe sexual intercourse. Yet some in Christianity confuse this type of language with lust or sexual impurity.
Instead of celebrating sexuality in a beautiful, Biblical, balanced way, some promote marital sex as mechanical, sex-for-money schemes and other bargaining, to be avoided as much as possible, to be tolerated rather than celebrated, never forgive sex outside of marriage that has been repented off, clinging to a self-conscious-body image and other negative ways that make marriage appear unattractive.
Studies indicate that 15 to 20 percent of American marriages are sexless, i.e. the couple has sex zero to 10 times annually. Please leave an on-line comment sharing any studies of sexless marriages finding the problem rooted in pornography, adultery or pre-martial sex. While Christopher Yuan is not married, he is an ex-gay who says seeing pornography as a child awakened homosexuality.
Sex is more than skin-on-skin. Sex is a relationship. Many marital problems are rooted in a lack of wisdom in choosing a spouse. Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. writes in the January 31, 2013, Huffington Post newspaper article, " 'Opposites Attract' Or 'Birds Of A Feather' -- What's Best For A Long Marriage?", "I've asked over 500 people married 40, 50 and more years what is most important for a long and happy marriage. To my surprise, their advice was nearly unanimous: Opposites may attract, but they don't usually make for great and lasting marriages. Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you're very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult. I can hear some of you saying: But it would be boring if two mates were exactly alike in interests and personality! Although it may sound paradoxical, long-married elders agree that some differences can spice up a relationship. But not all aspects are equally important. There are many ways partners can be similar, but the elders say that one dimension is absolutely necessary: Similarity in core values." Pillemer also says research supports spouses sharing the same core values as key to long-term marriage and, "The research findings are quite clear: marriages that are homogamous in terms of economic background, religion and closeness in age are the most stable and tend to be happier."
God doesn't want His believers to get stuck on their sins or choosing the "wrong" spouse. God doesn't have a sour or shame-based view of sex and sexuality. God celebrates all the goodness of life. God is Life. God got over Judah's and Tamar's sexual sin and honored them by including them and one of their children, Perez, in the bloodline of Jospeh, step-dad to Jesus Christ, the Son of Man and the Son of God (Matthew 1:3)! If we've engaged in sexual sin, God can work with us to get over it and live celebrating God and the good, enjoyable life He has given us.
"When you married, God called you into a mysterious and unique relationship--a relationship in which you complete each other, in which two people become one through the physical and emotional intimacy of sex. As a husband and wife, you are called to serve each other, and that includes the privilege and responsibility of satisfying each other's sex needs. That is a need only you can fully meet for the other, and that need is part of God's will for you and your marriage. Satisfying each other's sex needs may feel more like a duty for you right now, but it is a duty God is calling you to respect. Monica, for your husband, the physical act of intercourse is an important and fundamental part of sex. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your husband. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the physical is not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Hank, for your wife, the physical part is not going to work if the emotional and relational parts of your marriage aren't working. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your wife. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the emotional and relational are not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Sex is part of a larger picture. A healthy sexual relationship grows out of your emotional and spiritual relationship with your wife," says Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg in their book, The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women Discover the Secrets to Great Sex in a Godly Marriage.
Marital sex is good for your health. Having sex three times weekly reduces the chance for having a heart attack or stroke. Sex even reduces your chance of catching a cold or the flu and improves the quality of your hair, skin and nails. Sex boosts your immune system. Sexless marriage is sickening.
Please share on-line comments about the ways you or someone you know got over sexual sin and celebrated God, sexuality, sex and life.
God is for sex. He designed it. God set apart sublime partner-sex for marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 English Standard Version Bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." If one has partner-sex outside of marriage, then shame comes with it. If one refuses to have sex inside of marriage, then shame comes with it.
Whether we are married or not, sex bonds us to another person. Contrary to what we see in some entertainment and other aspects of American culture, no one changes sexual partners with the ease of changing our clothes. When a sexual relationship ends, it is the ripping apart of one person from another person spiritually, mentally and physically. Some are ripped apart internally and don't even know it. For example, many suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity rooted in sexual sin, but are unaware that sexual sin is the root of their problem. In the movie, The Ideal Husband, a single beautician, who is proud that she is dating a married man because the relationship has no strings and no commitment unlike her mother who was married four times and begged the husbands to stay, one day cuts the hair of a woman married 22 years. Over the course of the conversation she realizes she is chasing a man that is not that into her; she has little peace and is not loving herself. She ends up agreeing with the married woman that in romantic relationships some deal breakers are if someone knocks you upside your head or is married.
One way to define love is good choices, commitment and constructive action. Please leave an on-line comment giving your definition of love.
On another day a different single beautician in The Ideal Husband has her boyfriend come to her place of work and announce that he has received a job offer in Tampa, Florida, with twice the pay and better benefits. He asks her to move to Tampa and shack with him. To which she responds, "If we love each other, then there should be no other option than marriage." He says he wants to try living together before marriage. She says, "Roger, you been knowing me for five years now." He says no to marriage. She says, "Roger, I love you, but I love me first. I don't just want to be your temporary fix." They go their separate ways. She is secure in her relationship with Jesus Christ, but many are not.
Please leave an on-line comment about the plethora of discussion in multiple media about sexual insecurities.
When we have been sexually active, and then seek to live Biblical, we will probably experience a detox that is every bit as intense as what a detoxing drug addict experiences.
Sex is never just a physical act no matter how brief or long-term the sexual relationship. The Bible reveals that casual sex doesn't exist. Even in a one-night stand, sex is oneness or cohabiting. By studying different translations of the Bible, we may receive a fuller flavor of God's message to us. Genesis 38:26 Amplified Bible describes the one-night stand sex between Judah and Tamar, " . . . And he did not cohabit with her again."
Sexuality is a central part of the real us. The real us is God's home/sanctuary. God designed sexuality to be a sanctuary, a place of security, shelter and celebration to worship God. Biblical sexuality counsels singles to celebrate their sexuality without engaging in sexual relationships with others. Biblical sexuality counsels married couples to celebrate lovemaking as the sharing of each other with intense joy and participation in God's presence and each others presence.
The celebration of sexuality is missing in much of Christianity largely because many spend a lot of energy trying to cover up sex. God talks about sex and sexuality in the Bible openly, clearly, directly, truthfully and lovingly. Some Christians are not experiencing God's best in this area due to sexual sin. When God makes us whole, as He is healing us, God exposes us to the Light. Darkness, trying to cover up sex, is from the devil. Biblical sexual purity does not include a lifestyle of promoting ignorance and/or shame. God counsels us to get much clear knowledge, understanding and wisdom, and then give it to others through love.
Judah was not married to Tamar, yet the Bible says in Genesis 38:16-18 Amplified Bible, "He turned to her by the road and said, Come, let me have intercourse with you; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, What will you give me that you may have intercourse with me? He answered, I will send you a kid from the flock. And she said, Will you give me a pledge (deposit) until you send it? And he said, What pledge shall I give you? She said, Your signet [seal], your [signet] cord, and your staff that is in your hand. And he gave them to her and came in to her, and she became pregnant by him." God uses language like "intercourse" and "came in to her" to describe sexual intercourse. Yet some in Christianity confuse this type of language with lust or sexual impurity.
Instead of celebrating sexuality in a beautiful, Biblical, balanced way, some promote marital sex as mechanical, sex-for-money schemes and other bargaining, to be avoided as much as possible, to be tolerated rather than celebrated, never forgive sex outside of marriage that has been repented off, clinging to a self-conscious-body image and other negative ways that make marriage appear unattractive.
Studies indicate that 15 to 20 percent of American marriages are sexless, i.e. the couple has sex zero to 10 times annually. Please leave an on-line comment sharing any studies of sexless marriages finding the problem rooted in pornography, adultery or pre-martial sex. While Christopher Yuan is not married, he is an ex-gay who says seeing pornography as a child awakened homosexuality.
Sex is more than skin-on-skin. Sex is a relationship. Many marital problems are rooted in a lack of wisdom in choosing a spouse. Karl A. Pillemer, Ph.D. writes in the January 31, 2013, Huffington Post newspaper article, " 'Opposites Attract' Or 'Birds Of A Feather' -- What's Best For A Long Marriage?", "I've asked over 500 people married 40, 50 and more years what is most important for a long and happy marriage. To my surprise, their advice was nearly unanimous: Opposites may attract, but they don't usually make for great and lasting marriages. Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you're very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult. I can hear some of you saying: But it would be boring if two mates were exactly alike in interests and personality! Although it may sound paradoxical, long-married elders agree that some differences can spice up a relationship. But not all aspects are equally important. There are many ways partners can be similar, but the elders say that one dimension is absolutely necessary: Similarity in core values." Pillemer also says research supports spouses sharing the same core values as key to long-term marriage and, "The research findings are quite clear: marriages that are homogamous in terms of economic background, religion and closeness in age are the most stable and tend to be happier."
God doesn't want His believers to get stuck on their sins or choosing the "wrong" spouse. God doesn't have a sour or shame-based view of sex and sexuality. God celebrates all the goodness of life. God is Life. God got over Judah's and Tamar's sexual sin and honored them by including them and one of their children, Perez, in the bloodline of Jospeh, step-dad to Jesus Christ, the Son of Man and the Son of God (Matthew 1:3)! If we've engaged in sexual sin, God can work with us to get over it and live celebrating God and the good, enjoyable life He has given us.
"When you married, God called you into a mysterious and unique relationship--a relationship in which you complete each other, in which two people become one through the physical and emotional intimacy of sex. As a husband and wife, you are called to serve each other, and that includes the privilege and responsibility of satisfying each other's sex needs. That is a need only you can fully meet for the other, and that need is part of God's will for you and your marriage. Satisfying each other's sex needs may feel more like a duty for you right now, but it is a duty God is calling you to respect. Monica, for your husband, the physical act of intercourse is an important and fundamental part of sex. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your husband. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the physical is not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Hank, for your wife, the physical part is not going to work if the emotional and relational parts of your marriage aren't working. You may not like that, but that's the way it is. That is the way God created your wife. So it is part of your responsibility to fulfill that. If you don't, something or someone else will. And the tears may flow, but you will bear part of that responsibility. If the emotional and relational are not part of it, then you don't have a sexual relationship. And in God's view, you really don't have a marriage. That's not what God intended. Sex is part of a larger picture. A healthy sexual relationship grows out of your emotional and spiritual relationship with your wife," says Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg in their book, The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women Discover the Secrets to Great Sex in a Godly Marriage.
Marital sex is good for your health. Having sex three times weekly reduces the chance for having a heart attack or stroke. Sex even reduces your chance of catching a cold or the flu and improves the quality of your hair, skin and nails. Sex boosts your immune system. Sexless marriage is sickening.
Please share on-line comments about the ways you or someone you know got over sexual sin and celebrated God, sexuality, sex and life.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Like A Virgin
God counsels us to practice no sex before or outside of marriage and to practice frequent, fun, fantastic, fulfilling sex inside of marriage.
If we have had sex outside of marriage, we are no longer virgins. Duh! But we cannot be like virgins ever again; we've been changed forever. Like a virgin is a lie. It's either a person is a virgin or a person is not a virgin.
Also, once one has sex, one never forgets. Even if it's uneventful, it's still unforgettable. Sex is something special.
If we've had sex outside of marriage and ask God for forgiveness, He's already granted it to us and was just waiting for us to ask. Now we need to receive the forgiveness. Receiving includes when flashbacks to sex come to the mind, sending them back to the sea of forgetfulness. God gave us minds that have to be managed. We may not be able to stop the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can choose to either continue to think on them or to think on something else. The Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:8 Amplified Bible, "For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]."
When God has forgiven us of sex outside of marriage, and we have forgiven ourselves, we should be able to enjoy uninhibited marital sex if marriage is God's plan for our life. We should be able to enjoy marital sex free of the negativity of guilt or unflattering comparison. Really why not ask God to give you a husband or wife that is a better lover than all your previous lovers?
If your husband or wife has committed adultery and repented, at some point you are going to have to choose not to nurse the wound in order to have a vibrant marriage post-adultery. If you are still talking about how much the adultery hurt 15 years after the fact, then you are just as big a sinner as your husband. God commands us to forgive and move forward. Stop allowing your feelings to control your obedience to the Word of God.
Why not give your spouse such wonderful sex that she/he is not willing to have sex with people who would share their body with someone willing to suck out their life for free in sex outside of marriage? God purchased us at the highest price. Why would you sell yourself to Satan for free?
If you want to taste it, are you willing to put a ring on it?
Numbers 23:19 Amplified Bible says, "God is not a man, that He should tell or act a lie, neither the son of man, that He should feel repentance or compunction [for what He has promised]. Has He said and shall He not do it? Or has He spoken and shall He not make it good?" What God says is good. God says in Exodus 20:14 New Living Translation Bible, "You must not commit adultery." So God says celibacy is good for singles, and sex is only for one husband and one wife.
I am 45 and have been exercising since I was a teenager. I don't enjoy it. I do it because it is good for my health.
Although some women enjoy exercise for a surprising reason. Human sexuality researchers at Indiana University discovered that about a quarter of the 530 women they interviewed had climaxed while working on their abdominal muscles, riding a bike or lifting weights. This has never happened to me. Please leave an on-line comment if it has happened to you or someone you know.
Celibacy is good for the health of singles. Some people enjoy celibacy. I don't. I look forward to marital sex. I can relate to Jill Scott's song "Celibacy Blues," but I cannot relate to the solution of sex outside of marriage. I am single, and practice celibacy day in and day out, year after year because God says so.
I sometimes sing Hezekiah Walker & LFC's song "Grateful" from the album 20/85 The Experience when I think of all the mess God delivered me from when I was living the lifestyle of sex outside of marriage. When I look back no matter how good the orgasms the overall relationships sucked or at best were unsatisfying. When we defy God, disappointment is often the result. If it had not been for the Lord on my side I could be a sexual predator stringing men along with the false hope of marriage when all I really want is his sex. I'm eternally grateful to God for His grace in getting me out of sexual sin. If it had not been for the Lord on my side I could have been sleeping in my grave a victim of AIDS. I'm eternally grateful to God for His grace in getting me out of sexual sin.
God created us unique. What is good for one person may not be good for another person.
When celibacy is not mutual and confined to brief periods of prayer for married couples, celibacy is harmful for married couples. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 New Living Translation Bible, "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Many married couples are not being sexually obedient to the Word of God. The March 22, 2011, issue of The New York Times newspaper reported that the March 2011 issue of The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy said that researchers surveyed 3,240 men and 3,304 women who were married, living with a partner or in a relationship, asking them about their satisfaction with their sex lives. A majority of men (54 percent) and nearly as many women (42 percent) said they were unhappy with the frequency of sex. For most men, the complaint was that they weren’t having sex often enough. Among women who were unhappy about the frequency of their sex lives, two-thirds said they weren’t having enough sex. Among the respondents, 73 percent were married, and 60 percent had been with their spouse or partner for 10 years or more. Men ages 35 to 44 who had been with a woman for six years or longer were the most likely to be unhappy with how often they had sex.
Maybe married couples are not having more sex because they are not taking the time to empathize with their spouse. ". . . men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex," says Dr Rajan B Bhonsle in the January 18, 2013, article "7 Must-know sex secrets" in The Times of India newspaper.
Lucy Sanna and Kathy Miller-Vejtasa write in their book, How to Romance the Woman You Love - The Way She Wants You To!, that women responded to a survey asking, "If he were more romantic, I would be more inclined to . . .", "
1. "Be excited to be with him"
2."Keep myself looking attractive"
3. "Find out what he wants; try to help him fulfill his needs"
4. "Stay with him rather than find a new partner"
5. "Be in a good mood around him"
6. "Attend to his sexual needs."
Dr. Douglas Rosenau writes in his book, A Celebration of Sex:
"1. Budget in and spend a certain amount of money each month on your sex life, such as lingerie, new sheets, and nights or weekends away together.
2. Every now and then wear a sexy piece of lingerie all day and allow its unusual feel to remind you of sex constantly.
3. Don't wear any underwear to a social gathering, and tell your husband on the way out the door. You will drive him crazy while you keep aroused.
4. Plan a sexual surprise at least once a month in which you try to blindside your husband in an arousing sexual way.
5. Keep a mental note, and regardless of fatigue or low interest, initiate sex at least once a week.
6. Have fun with your husband's visual arousal, and flaunt your nude body at unusual times just to enjoy his reactions.
7. Take a bubble bath and indulge in other sensual delights at the end of a tiring day--it's a great aphrodisiac and tunes you in to your body.
8. Create romantic sexual fantasies about your love life while driving in the car, and share them with your mate at the end of your day.
9. Use a special perfume that you have associated in your mind with making love, and wear it on the evening or the day you anticipate sexual activity.
10. Practice Kegel exercises."
Conversely, maybe many singles are having sex because they are not allowing the Holy Spirit to lead their lives. The Apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:16 Amplified Bible, "But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God)."
It doesn't matter how extremely evil we have been in the past, singles in the present can be successfully celibate. While attending dental school, Christopher Yuan began living as a homosexual engaging in multiple, daily, anonymous sexual encounters and doing illegal drugs. After being expelled from dental school, Yuan was imprisoned for drug dealing and discovered that he was HIV positive. But God had other plans for Yuan's life. Yuan graduated from Moody Bible Institute in 2005, in 2007 he graduated from Wheaton College Graduate School with a Master of Arts in Biblical Exegesis. Yuan is currently pursuing a doctorate of ministry at Bethel Seminary, teaching at Moody Bible Institute and speaking about homosexuality and the ex-gay lifestyle across four continents around the world.
Instead of like a virgin be spiritually mature like Jesus Christ.
If we have had sex outside of marriage, we are no longer virgins. Duh! But we cannot be like virgins ever again; we've been changed forever. Like a virgin is a lie. It's either a person is a virgin or a person is not a virgin.
Also, once one has sex, one never forgets. Even if it's uneventful, it's still unforgettable. Sex is something special.
If we've had sex outside of marriage and ask God for forgiveness, He's already granted it to us and was just waiting for us to ask. Now we need to receive the forgiveness. Receiving includes when flashbacks to sex come to the mind, sending them back to the sea of forgetfulness. God gave us minds that have to be managed. We may not be able to stop the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can choose to either continue to think on them or to think on something else. The Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 4:8 Amplified Bible, "For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]."
When God has forgiven us of sex outside of marriage, and we have forgiven ourselves, we should be able to enjoy uninhibited marital sex if marriage is God's plan for our life. We should be able to enjoy marital sex free of the negativity of guilt or unflattering comparison. Really why not ask God to give you a husband or wife that is a better lover than all your previous lovers?
If your husband or wife has committed adultery and repented, at some point you are going to have to choose not to nurse the wound in order to have a vibrant marriage post-adultery. If you are still talking about how much the adultery hurt 15 years after the fact, then you are just as big a sinner as your husband. God commands us to forgive and move forward. Stop allowing your feelings to control your obedience to the Word of God.
Why not give your spouse such wonderful sex that she/he is not willing to have sex with people who would share their body with someone willing to suck out their life for free in sex outside of marriage? God purchased us at the highest price. Why would you sell yourself to Satan for free?
If you want to taste it, are you willing to put a ring on it?
Numbers 23:19 Amplified Bible says, "God is not a man, that He should tell or act a lie, neither the son of man, that He should feel repentance or compunction [for what He has promised]. Has He said and shall He not do it? Or has He spoken and shall He not make it good?" What God says is good. God says in Exodus 20:14 New Living Translation Bible, "You must not commit adultery." So God says celibacy is good for singles, and sex is only for one husband and one wife.
I am 45 and have been exercising since I was a teenager. I don't enjoy it. I do it because it is good for my health.
Although some women enjoy exercise for a surprising reason. Human sexuality researchers at Indiana University discovered that about a quarter of the 530 women they interviewed had climaxed while working on their abdominal muscles, riding a bike or lifting weights. This has never happened to me. Please leave an on-line comment if it has happened to you or someone you know.
Celibacy is good for the health of singles. Some people enjoy celibacy. I don't. I look forward to marital sex. I can relate to Jill Scott's song "Celibacy Blues," but I cannot relate to the solution of sex outside of marriage. I am single, and practice celibacy day in and day out, year after year because God says so.
I sometimes sing Hezekiah Walker & LFC's song "Grateful" from the album 20/85 The Experience when I think of all the mess God delivered me from when I was living the lifestyle of sex outside of marriage. When I look back no matter how good the orgasms the overall relationships sucked or at best were unsatisfying. When we defy God, disappointment is often the result. If it had not been for the Lord on my side I could be a sexual predator stringing men along with the false hope of marriage when all I really want is his sex. I'm eternally grateful to God for His grace in getting me out of sexual sin. If it had not been for the Lord on my side I could have been sleeping in my grave a victim of AIDS. I'm eternally grateful to God for His grace in getting me out of sexual sin.
God created us unique. What is good for one person may not be good for another person.
When celibacy is not mutual and confined to brief periods of prayer for married couples, celibacy is harmful for married couples. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 New Living Translation Bible, "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Many married couples are not being sexually obedient to the Word of God. The March 22, 2011, issue of The New York Times newspaper reported that the March 2011 issue of The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy said that researchers surveyed 3,240 men and 3,304 women who were married, living with a partner or in a relationship, asking them about their satisfaction with their sex lives. A majority of men (54 percent) and nearly as many women (42 percent) said they were unhappy with the frequency of sex. For most men, the complaint was that they weren’t having sex often enough. Among women who were unhappy about the frequency of their sex lives, two-thirds said they weren’t having enough sex. Among the respondents, 73 percent were married, and 60 percent had been with their spouse or partner for 10 years or more. Men ages 35 to 44 who had been with a woman for six years or longer were the most likely to be unhappy with how often they had sex.
Maybe married couples are not having more sex because they are not taking the time to empathize with their spouse. ". . . men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex," says Dr Rajan B Bhonsle in the January 18, 2013, article "7 Must-know sex secrets" in The Times of India newspaper.
Lucy Sanna and Kathy Miller-Vejtasa write in their book, How to Romance the Woman You Love - The Way She Wants You To!, that women responded to a survey asking, "If he were more romantic, I would be more inclined to . . .", "
1. "Be excited to be with him"
2."Keep myself looking attractive"
3. "Find out what he wants; try to help him fulfill his needs"
4. "Stay with him rather than find a new partner"
5. "Be in a good mood around him"
6. "Attend to his sexual needs."
Dr. Douglas Rosenau writes in his book, A Celebration of Sex:
"1. Budget in and spend a certain amount of money each month on your sex life, such as lingerie, new sheets, and nights or weekends away together.
2. Every now and then wear a sexy piece of lingerie all day and allow its unusual feel to remind you of sex constantly.
3. Don't wear any underwear to a social gathering, and tell your husband on the way out the door. You will drive him crazy while you keep aroused.
4. Plan a sexual surprise at least once a month in which you try to blindside your husband in an arousing sexual way.
5. Keep a mental note, and regardless of fatigue or low interest, initiate sex at least once a week.
6. Have fun with your husband's visual arousal, and flaunt your nude body at unusual times just to enjoy his reactions.
7. Take a bubble bath and indulge in other sensual delights at the end of a tiring day--it's a great aphrodisiac and tunes you in to your body.
8. Create romantic sexual fantasies about your love life while driving in the car, and share them with your mate at the end of your day.
9. Use a special perfume that you have associated in your mind with making love, and wear it on the evening or the day you anticipate sexual activity.
10. Practice Kegel exercises."
Conversely, maybe many singles are having sex because they are not allowing the Holy Spirit to lead their lives. The Apostle Paul writes in Galatians 5:16 Amplified Bible, "But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God)."
It doesn't matter how extremely evil we have been in the past, singles in the present can be successfully celibate. While attending dental school, Christopher Yuan began living as a homosexual engaging in multiple, daily, anonymous sexual encounters and doing illegal drugs. After being expelled from dental school, Yuan was imprisoned for drug dealing and discovered that he was HIV positive. But God had other plans for Yuan's life. Yuan graduated from Moody Bible Institute in 2005, in 2007 he graduated from Wheaton College Graduate School with a Master of Arts in Biblical Exegesis. Yuan is currently pursuing a doctorate of ministry at Bethel Seminary, teaching at Moody Bible Institute and speaking about homosexuality and the ex-gay lifestyle across four continents around the world.
Instead of like a virgin be spiritually mature like Jesus Christ.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
4 Ways to Enduring Love
God inserts inspiration everywhere. When weariness strikes talk to God to work it out. Living in continual weariness is a wish from Satan. Love endures.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." 1 Corinthians 13:7 shares with us four qualities of enduring love.
Some dismiss the dreams of children as being temporary and ever-changing. Leila Lopes, a Christian, the currently reigning Miss Universe, from the African nation Angola, which is the Portuguese name for the ruling ngola they encountered in the 1480s, tells New African Woman magazine, "Pursue your dreams, stay true to yourself and never look back. If you try hard enough you can achieve anything." Lopes says that ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of competing in the Miss Universe Pageant.
Some say that 90 percent of what we hear daily is negative. Tune out the naysayers by tapping into the never-ending power of God the Holy Ghost who lives on the inside of Christians.
Dreams are not dust to be swept away by the duties of reality. Lopes never gave up on her childhood dream that was realized as an adult. Lopes enduring love for God and herself overflows to others. God is using Lopes to share with people globally the message of love and beauty in Jesus Christ, in the continent of Africa and in Africans from the motherland and the diaspora.
Life doesn't always go according to our mental script. I wanted my 19-year-old son, Rafael, to enjoy a salad while soaking in the bathtub. He received it with so much joy, that he knocked the salad off the ledge of the tub spilling Spring mix leaves, tomatoes, olives and the other contents on the floor and in the bath water. I held in upset. Rafael didn't spill the salad on purpose. It was a mistake. I gave him time to himself to process the event. He said, "I'm sorry." Then, "I do good." I gave him a rag without any critical comments. We cleaned up together. My calm efficiency promoted his calm joy. After clean up, he continued to enjoy soaking and eating.
The healthiest, happiest, hardiest relationships share far more positivity than negativity. Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of Relationship Research Institute, says to practice the five to one ratio. For every one negative interaction (a complaint, a disagreement, an argument, etc.) engage in five positive interactions (a compliment, a smile, a kiss, a hug, cuddling, a shared laugh or happy memory, etc.)
Kenneth Ulmer was a successful radio broadcast professional, went through two divorces, conceived two children by two different women and was suicidal.
Today's circumstances may be disastrous, but in many tomorrows they may be delightful. Keep on hoping for the best.
Ulmer not only married again he has been married for more than 30 years, adopted a son, adopted a teenage daughter from Africa who had AIDS and is now Bishop Kenneth Ulmer of Faith Central Bible Church in California.
Some relationships God designed for a lifetime. Just because God designed marriage as two people becoming one does not mean that two people will not struggle to keep sin from shredding the marriage. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child.
Divorce is an option with repeated adulteries, but so is heart surgery to save the marriage. Endurance means slicing out selfishness.
We cannot give 50 percent of self to a relationship. When two people give people 50 percent, 1/2 X 1/2 equals 1/4. We end up with less of a relationship! But in dying to selfishness and giving 100 percent of self to each other, not only was Cindy's and Chris' marriage saved, but also both the mom of the child conceived out of wedlock and the child are active parts of Cindy's and Chris' life so much so that their conquering adultery and commitment to love is their ministry. No matter what we are facing, love (God's love in us) can overcome it, multiply and edify.
God is so good that He can make our relationships better after major conflicts than they were before them. Today will you choose love over everything else? Please leave an on-line comment, and choose love with me on Twitter.com at "Michelelove30" and Google's G+.
1 Corinthians 13:7 Amplified Bible says, "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]." 1 Corinthians 13:7 shares with us four qualities of enduring love.
1. Never Give Up.
Some dismiss the dreams of children as being temporary and ever-changing. Leila Lopes, a Christian, the currently reigning Miss Universe, from the African nation Angola, which is the Portuguese name for the ruling ngola they encountered in the 1480s, tells New African Woman magazine, "Pursue your dreams, stay true to yourself and never look back. If you try hard enough you can achieve anything." Lopes says that ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of competing in the Miss Universe Pageant.
Some say that 90 percent of what we hear daily is negative. Tune out the naysayers by tapping into the never-ending power of God the Holy Ghost who lives on the inside of Christians.
Dreams are not dust to be swept away by the duties of reality. Lopes never gave up on her childhood dream that was realized as an adult. Lopes enduring love for God and herself overflows to others. God is using Lopes to share with people globally the message of love and beauty in Jesus Christ, in the continent of Africa and in Africans from the motherland and the diaspora.
2. Believe the Best of Every Person.
Life doesn't always go according to our mental script. I wanted my 19-year-old son, Rafael, to enjoy a salad while soaking in the bathtub. He received it with so much joy, that he knocked the salad off the ledge of the tub spilling Spring mix leaves, tomatoes, olives and the other contents on the floor and in the bath water. I held in upset. Rafael didn't spill the salad on purpose. It was a mistake. I gave him time to himself to process the event. He said, "I'm sorry." Then, "I do good." I gave him a rag without any critical comments. We cleaned up together. My calm efficiency promoted his calm joy. After clean up, he continued to enjoy soaking and eating.
The healthiest, happiest, hardiest relationships share far more positivity than negativity. Psychologist John Gottman, Ph.D., a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and executive director of Relationship Research Institute, says to practice the five to one ratio. For every one negative interaction (a complaint, a disagreement, an argument, etc.) engage in five positive interactions (a compliment, a smile, a kiss, a hug, cuddling, a shared laugh or happy memory, etc.)
3. Be Ever Hopeful.
Kenneth Ulmer was a successful radio broadcast professional, went through two divorces, conceived two children by two different women and was suicidal.
Today's circumstances may be disastrous, but in many tomorrows they may be delightful. Keep on hoping for the best.
Ulmer not only married again he has been married for more than 30 years, adopted a son, adopted a teenage daughter from Africa who had AIDS and is now Bishop Kenneth Ulmer of Faith Central Bible Church in California.
4. Endure.
Some relationships God designed for a lifetime. Just because God designed marriage as two people becoming one does not mean that two people will not struggle to keep sin from shredding the marriage. Cindy Beall is married to pastor, Chris Beall, who came home one day and confessed to numerous affairs with numerous people from numerous places. One woman was carrying his child.
Divorce is an option with repeated adulteries, but so is heart surgery to save the marriage. Endurance means slicing out selfishness.
We cannot give 50 percent of self to a relationship. When two people give people 50 percent, 1/2 X 1/2 equals 1/4. We end up with less of a relationship! But in dying to selfishness and giving 100 percent of self to each other, not only was Cindy's and Chris' marriage saved, but also both the mom of the child conceived out of wedlock and the child are active parts of Cindy's and Chris' life so much so that their conquering adultery and commitment to love is their ministry. No matter what we are facing, love (God's love in us) can overcome it, multiply and edify.
God is so good that He can make our relationships better after major conflicts than they were before them. Today will you choose love over everything else? Please leave an on-line comment, and choose love with me on Twitter.com at "Michelelove30" and Google's G+.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Tie Me Up?
Mostly what God does is influence us instead of force us to change. Yet a lot of times conversely we try to change our spouses, family, friends and others by tying them up with ropes of intimidation, shame, blame, etc. Let's look at four ways God exerted influence recorded in John 8:1-11.
1) Some people will try to tie us up with the intimidation of screaming and/or drama. We can keep our influence -- our peace and wisdom -- in the midst of arguments. More than 2,000 years ago some religious leaders crashed Jesus Christ's class dragging in a woman caught in adultery and displaying her in plain view of the class. Jesus didn't display emotional upset or immediately speak. It's not that Jesus doesn't experience emotions -- He's the same one whose eyes flash like a flame of fire -- Jesus manages His emotions. He sought to slow down and cool down the exchange by stooping down to write on the ground. This gave Him and others time to contemplate what's happening. Then He could talk to God the Father for the resolution while allowing God the Holy Ghost to empower Him to implement it.
Jesus' pause models respect for people. It communicates, "I am smart. You are smart. We don't need to hurry up and make needless mistakes. Instead we recognize problems and are responsible enough to find ways to fix them." When we speak too fast we often say things that harm us and harm our relationships.
It's natural to think about the negative. It's spiritual to pause and meditate on the positive. A lot of arguments among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about.
Twitter.com is a neat social networking website where participants must whittle their wonderful words to a maximum of 140 characters. Those who "follow" you receive your writing posts on their smartphone or computer. So value and respect your spouse, family, friends and others with posts like, "U R so GR8 that God gave up His life, so that U could have the best life forever!" Let's tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," or we may chat through the social networking site Google's G+, or you may leave a comment at the bottom of this article.
If our attempts at frequent, fun, filling marital sex are frequently being met with, "I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," then perhaps we are saying and doing things to our spouse that communicate, "You aren't that important to me," "I really don't want to share my time by cultivating an intimate relationship with you and each of our children," "I just want to get my needs met," "I want to look good at all costs," etc. All arguments are not hot. Some are cool or cold. Even comfortably numb marital connections are ripe for infidelity. Arguments need resolution. If we can't, someone else will!
Jesus' stooping pause is not incidental or accidental, but essential. Indian Mughal Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar sought rahi aql (the path of reason) in the late sixteenth century, but it can only be found effectively in Jesus. One of the ways Jesus changes people is by using reasoning to convince them that they are valuable people who have veered away from right reasoning, but through Him can veer into the best way of living. No matter what we have done, God doesn't disapprove of us. He loves us. He's tattooed a picture of us on the palm of His hand. He has pure motives in trying to persuade us to follow Him. James 3:17 Amplified Bible says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity)."
2) Persistent pestering is a tactic of those trying to tie us up with intimidation. Refuse to be abused; influence grows by keeping on doing good. The religious leaders were hoping that by trying to force Jesus to say something, He would flub.
Some act like a dragnet of dullness. If someone refuses to come to the truth with subtle modeling, then make it plain with respect. "They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"" (John 8:7 New Living Translation Bible).
The source of all arguments is sin. We all have sinned, are sinning and will sin. Some sins are deliberate; for believers as we grow in intimacy with God our sins are less deliberate and more unintentional. When we see sin, God designed believers to model Him humbly, not haughtily like the religious leaders, in seeking to assist someone in receiving a greater revelation of God.
If we never committed sexual adultery, it is not because we are so smart and strong; it is because God kept us out of situations that would have caused us to fall into sexual adultery. Cooperate with God to wipe off any smug sneers on our face when we catch someone in sin of any type. Galatians 6:1 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself."
3) When someone zealously attempts to tie someone else up with shame, the attacker is more interested in punishing people than allowing God to work through them to point people to the path of life which is love, truth, joy, all that is good. Compassion is influence.
Many of the religious people of Jesus' day do not come across as compassionate or confident people. They seemed to unknowingly have a mindset of, "I can't do anything right because I'm a bad person. So to make myself feel better I need to put down someone else. I need a lot of attention and patting on my back and places of honor to mask who I am."
Shame-based people will try to shoot others with shame attacks. Shame attacks are ineffective against shielded minds that simply shake them off with loving truth. Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible says, "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."
An illiterate, white student called black, Chicago, Illinois, teacher Marva Collins a "jungle bunny." Collins had not internalized shame about being black, a woman or a teacher. She responded to this sexist, racial slur with tender, humorous truth by saying she would take offense when her sweetheart learned to read, write and spell jungle bunny.
Jesus did not take offense to the attacks of the religious leaders. He did not internalize any shame about who He is as the Son of God or His competence in understanding and applying the Mosaic Law. Jesus was not an adulterer. He didn't want to be one. He didn't envy adulterers. With simplicity, expertise and authority He pointed out the principal problem of all those involved, and offered the solution to adultery. ". . . And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 Amplified Bible).
The woman caught in adultery was impressed, surprised and delighted that Jesus was not going to punish her, look down on her or harm her in any way. She was likely willing to leave adultery because someone really cares for her. The way we are wired is, "If you care for me, then I'll care for you, and the things you want me to do." The spiritual maturity of loving the unlovable is something we have to cooperate with God to display with the unlovable.
All sin ties us down. Loves cuts the ropes and releases us into the responsibility of following Jesus' enjoyable life engaged in love with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost and all people.
4) Some want to tie us up in blame for our sin while taking little or no responsibility for their sin. Influence is available by receiving God's blameless view of us and His power to resist sin forever. The religious leaders attacked the woman without having first dealt with their own sin, and they discriminated against her by trying to pin all the fault for adultery on her instead of equally on the man also involved who is totally missing from this drama. When Jesus encouraged the woman to sin no more Jesus is engaging her not only with Himself but also with the man she had sex with, the religious leaders and others. Jesus wants everyone to learn to have frequent, fun, filling sex inside of marriage and to learn to celebrate single sexuality without sexual sin. No matter how much some may try to present sexual sin as beautiful, sexual sin is the advocacy of loveless sex. Jesus is about marrying as many people as possible into God's family of love. Romans 12:5 Amplified Bible describes the family of love, "So we, numerous as we are; are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]."
Since God designed us to help each other, harmful ropes like blame need to be taken off our lives. Jesus Christ has already paid the price for all the blame, shame, false fear, adultery and sin we have ever done, are doing and will ever do. His death and resurrection in three days took care of this. If we receive Him, then we need not continue to receive harmful things like blame, shame, false fear, adultery that hurt us and our relationships now and if not dealt with will leave eternal damage. Romans 6:23 New Living Translation Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
Tie me up? No thanks. Free in love forever is better. Please share an on-line comment about how Christ has set you free and/or participate in my relationship group by contacting me via email at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
1) Some people will try to tie us up with the intimidation of screaming and/or drama. We can keep our influence -- our peace and wisdom -- in the midst of arguments. More than 2,000 years ago some religious leaders crashed Jesus Christ's class dragging in a woman caught in adultery and displaying her in plain view of the class. Jesus didn't display emotional upset or immediately speak. It's not that Jesus doesn't experience emotions -- He's the same one whose eyes flash like a flame of fire -- Jesus manages His emotions. He sought to slow down and cool down the exchange by stooping down to write on the ground. This gave Him and others time to contemplate what's happening. Then He could talk to God the Father for the resolution while allowing God the Holy Ghost to empower Him to implement it.
Jesus' pause models respect for people. It communicates, "I am smart. You are smart. We don't need to hurry up and make needless mistakes. Instead we recognize problems and are responsible enough to find ways to fix them." When we speak too fast we often say things that harm us and harm our relationships.
It's natural to think about the negative. It's spiritual to pause and meditate on the positive. A lot of arguments among spouses, family, friends and others are really about people not feeling valued or respected and not so much about the issues being argued about.
Twitter.com is a neat social networking website where participants must whittle their wonderful words to a maximum of 140 characters. Those who "follow" you receive your writing posts on their smartphone or computer. So value and respect your spouse, family, friends and others with posts like, "U R so GR8 that God gave up His life, so that U could have the best life forever!" Let's tweet via my Twitter name "Michelelove30," or we may chat through the social networking site Google's G+, or you may leave a comment at the bottom of this article.
If our attempts at frequent, fun, filling marital sex are frequently being met with, "I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," then perhaps we are saying and doing things to our spouse that communicate, "You aren't that important to me," "I really don't want to share my time by cultivating an intimate relationship with you and each of our children," "I just want to get my needs met," "I want to look good at all costs," etc. All arguments are not hot. Some are cool or cold. Even comfortably numb marital connections are ripe for infidelity. Arguments need resolution. If we can't, someone else will!
Jesus' stooping pause is not incidental or accidental, but essential. Indian Mughal Emperor Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar sought rahi aql (the path of reason) in the late sixteenth century, but it can only be found effectively in Jesus. One of the ways Jesus changes people is by using reasoning to convince them that they are valuable people who have veered away from right reasoning, but through Him can veer into the best way of living. No matter what we have done, God doesn't disapprove of us. He loves us. He's tattooed a picture of us on the palm of His hand. He has pure motives in trying to persuade us to follow Him. James 3:17 Amplified Bible says, "But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity)."
2) Persistent pestering is a tactic of those trying to tie us up with intimidation. Refuse to be abused; influence grows by keeping on doing good. The religious leaders were hoping that by trying to force Jesus to say something, He would flub.
Some act like a dragnet of dullness. If someone refuses to come to the truth with subtle modeling, then make it plain with respect. "They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!"" (John 8:7 New Living Translation Bible).
The source of all arguments is sin. We all have sinned, are sinning and will sin. Some sins are deliberate; for believers as we grow in intimacy with God our sins are less deliberate and more unintentional. When we see sin, God designed believers to model Him humbly, not haughtily like the religious leaders, in seeking to assist someone in receiving a greater revelation of God.
If we never committed sexual adultery, it is not because we are so smart and strong; it is because God kept us out of situations that would have caused us to fall into sexual adultery. Cooperate with God to wipe off any smug sneers on our face when we catch someone in sin of any type. Galatians 6:1 New Living Translation Bible says, "Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself."
3) When someone zealously attempts to tie someone else up with shame, the attacker is more interested in punishing people than allowing God to work through them to point people to the path of life which is love, truth, joy, all that is good. Compassion is influence.
Many of the religious people of Jesus' day do not come across as compassionate or confident people. They seemed to unknowingly have a mindset of, "I can't do anything right because I'm a bad person. So to make myself feel better I need to put down someone else. I need a lot of attention and patting on my back and places of honor to mask who I am."
Shame-based people will try to shoot others with shame attacks. Shame attacks are ineffective against shielded minds that simply shake them off with loving truth. Ephesians 4:15 Amplified Bible says, "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."
An illiterate, white student called black, Chicago, Illinois, teacher Marva Collins a "jungle bunny." Collins had not internalized shame about being black, a woman or a teacher. She responded to this sexist, racial slur with tender, humorous truth by saying she would take offense when her sweetheart learned to read, write and spell jungle bunny.
Jesus did not take offense to the attacks of the religious leaders. He did not internalize any shame about who He is as the Son of God or His competence in understanding and applying the Mosaic Law. Jesus was not an adulterer. He didn't want to be one. He didn't envy adulterers. With simplicity, expertise and authority He pointed out the principal problem of all those involved, and offered the solution to adultery. ". . . And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11 Amplified Bible).
The woman caught in adultery was impressed, surprised and delighted that Jesus was not going to punish her, look down on her or harm her in any way. She was likely willing to leave adultery because someone really cares for her. The way we are wired is, "If you care for me, then I'll care for you, and the things you want me to do." The spiritual maturity of loving the unlovable is something we have to cooperate with God to display with the unlovable.
All sin ties us down. Loves cuts the ropes and releases us into the responsibility of following Jesus' enjoyable life engaged in love with God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, God the Holy Ghost and all people.
4) Some want to tie us up in blame for our sin while taking little or no responsibility for their sin. Influence is available by receiving God's blameless view of us and His power to resist sin forever. The religious leaders attacked the woman without having first dealt with their own sin, and they discriminated against her by trying to pin all the fault for adultery on her instead of equally on the man also involved who is totally missing from this drama. When Jesus encouraged the woman to sin no more Jesus is engaging her not only with Himself but also with the man she had sex with, the religious leaders and others. Jesus wants everyone to learn to have frequent, fun, filling sex inside of marriage and to learn to celebrate single sexuality without sexual sin. No matter how much some may try to present sexual sin as beautiful, sexual sin is the advocacy of loveless sex. Jesus is about marrying as many people as possible into God's family of love. Romans 12:5 Amplified Bible describes the family of love, "So we, numerous as we are; are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another]."
Since God designed us to help each other, harmful ropes like blame need to be taken off our lives. Jesus Christ has already paid the price for all the blame, shame, false fear, adultery and sin we have ever done, are doing and will ever do. His death and resurrection in three days took care of this. If we receive Him, then we need not continue to receive harmful things like blame, shame, false fear, adultery that hurt us and our relationships now and if not dealt with will leave eternal damage. Romans 6:23 New Living Translation Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord."
Tie me up? No thanks. Free in love forever is better. Please share an on-line comment about how Christ has set you free and/or participate in my relationship group by contacting me via email at michefrancesjackson@gmail.com.
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